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Overall Rating
2.94

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14 reviews, 181 user ratings


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Jurassic Park III
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by Erik Childress

"Complete Rush Job Still Offers A Quick, Fun Time"
4 stars

At one point in Jurassic Park III, one character turns to another and says “you’re just as bad as the people who designed this place.” It’s funny to hear dialogue that is meant to indict those who would seek out a healthy profit under the guise of science and discovery in a movie designed to make a healthy profit under the guise of art. Then again, Jurassic Park III isn’t about art, it’s about big, bad dinosaurs running free and chomping on celebrity guest stars. So, who cares about the rampant case of sequelitis its infected with as long as it delivers the goods to the paying customers.

The original Jurassic Park had one of the greatest moments I’ve ever experienced in a movie theater. I’m not even referring to the lawyer getting eaten on the toilet, the little boy getting electrocuted, the first T-Rex attack or any of the Raptor attacks. I’m talking about that first moment when all of the main characters and the audience got our first glimpse of the Brontosaurus walking majestically through the field.

Backed by the glorious music of John Williams, there was a wonder and grandeur to that moment that brought all of us (especially men) back to our childhood combined with the excitement of witnessing something we had never seen created so perfectly before. There was no clay or finger indentations of the stop-motion days and even the blue screen seemed incredibly non-existent. The characters were there with those dinosaurs and more importantly, we were there.

Steven Spielberg and Michael Crichton brought us back to a second island in The Lost World and while the trip came with a darker tone and a higher body count, it became hip to bash the sequel as one of the director’s weaker efforts. Spielberg decided not to make another return trip, instead handing over the director’s chair to Joe Johnston (The Rocketeer, Jumanji, October Sky) but not the time to develop the project.

The key to multiple sequels in any franchise comes down to one factor – excuses. What excuse can we use to get the characters back together to wrangle out another adventure (and some more money) no matter how coincidental or far-fetched it may be. Some series’ are able to use these excuses to further a continuing storyline even if they were never intended as a trilogy or to have roman numerals in the title. Jurassic Park III makes no such attempt.

The plot: Wealthy couple hire dinosaur expert under false pretenses to rescue their son who foolishly decided to para-sail over Isla Sorna (a.k.a. Site “B”) to get a glimpse of the dinos. There’s your excuse. Sam Neill returns as that dino expert, Dr. Alan Grant while William H. Macy and Tea Leoni play Paul & Amanda Kirby, the couple whose son, Eric (Trevor Morgan), may actually be dino chow. Potential dessert for the creatures accompanies these three characters on the charter plane. There’s Billy Brennan (Alessandro Nivola), Dr. Grant’s loyal student and “mercenaries” Udesky, Cooper and Nash (Michael Jeter, John Diehl and Bruce A. Young).

Las Vegas wouldn’t offer you odds on which characters are doomed from making Jurassic Park 4, but its still fun to watch everyone chased around every other scene by their dinosaur of choice. And like any good action ride, the set pieces are clearly the sequences with the most thought injected into them. The most exciting of which involves the one thing Spielberg failed to deliver until the final scene of Lost World and that is the Pteradactyl. The Velociraptor isn’t the only “bird of prey” stalking the humans here and when you add into that a shaky suspension bridge, a raging river and a parachute, you have yourself a good time.

And that’s what audiences are coming to Jurassic Park for – a good time. And any time the dinosaurs are on screen, that’s exactly what you’re likely to have. Yet at a mere 92 minutes, JP3 feels like a bigger rush job than me actually condensing the title down to three characters. Two-thirds of the screenwriting credit goes to Alexander Payne and Jim Taylor (Election & Citizen Ruth) trumping up a plot that owes more than a few nods to Aliens, and if you look closely, you can almost actually see them in the corner of every frame writing the next scene.

Every dialogue scene is like a mini-intermission scene in-between the attacks. Nothing much goes on in this downtime and when you don’t have the necessary time available, why even bother to flesh out these characters when all we’re really interested in is watching the dinosaurs tear the flesh off them? Make it a 92-minute rollercoaster ride. No background stories. No character revelations. Just one big chase through the island.

All this film can really offer audiences (and all it tries to) are new dinosaurs and bigger quality kills. It starts off promisingly as a sly satire on adrenaline seekers (i.e. skydivers, bungi jumpers), but that quickly falls by the wayside. The only new dino theory proposed by Grant is that Raptors can talk to each other, but didn’t we already see that in the kitchen from the original? I suppose like the San Diego incident in Lost World, Grant can cop that he “wasn’t there to witness that event,” even if the audience was. In fact, everyone should easily identify moments directly lifted from the first film (a mode of transportation stuck in a tree, a dinosaur literally putting his foot down on that mode of transportation, a search of dinosaur poopie and a final confrontation involving the cornering by raptors.)

Other than those raptors, many of our previous meat-and-shrubbery diners make cameos throughout the picture, although a new dinosaur takes center stage resembling a cross between the T-Rex and Barbara Streisand whose species I believe even the characters failed to identify (the Spinosaurus). While you’ll also see (and hear) the best use of a cell phone within the confines of a theater, you’ll also be subjected to a head-slapping, shoulder-shrugging dream sequence that would be more fitting in Naked Lunch than here.

That duality may be the most frustrating and disappointing aspect of Jurassic Park III. In that aforementioned downtime before and after the feasting, you may find your imagination drifting to questions that are still left unanswered. Like why have the dinosaurs allowed to roam free on the island if everyone now knows about them? Why didn’t they find a way to set the third film entirely on the mainland (which like the “Alien” franchise) seems like the next logical (and promised) step in the story strand? Like I also said about Final Fantasy last week, perhaps the filmmakers were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they never stopped to think if they should. Hell, even Dr. Grant can be lured with the promise of cash wads, but does that make them just as bad?

All in all, I enjoyed Jurassic Park III. Who can’t get charged up when realistic dinosaurs are expertly handled in action scenes that are nothing but solid Grade-A fun. Sure the wonder and total craftsmanship of the original isn’t to be found here, but we don’t complain riding the same rollercoasters at the local theme park year after year. We even make special trips to organize parties to go there, pay big dollars and then wait an hour to choose which seat we want. Sure you could say that JP3 is like building the same ride on the other side of the park with a different track color, but if all the other coasters suck, wouldn’t you stand in line again?

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=899&reviewer=198
originally posted: 07/14/01 15:37:50
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User Comments

9/12/17 morris campbell cool the dinosaurs still impress 4 stars
9/23/14 Anees Shaik Just Perfect - Fan of Dinosaurs 5 stars
5/09/13 Gman This film deserves no stars. Its abysmal, and it insults the fans of the first two! 1 stars
5/08/13 Mr. DNA I would've like this movie if it weren't for the stupid plot holes, and lame SFX. 1 stars
2/08/13 Kcaj Fun to watch. The subplot of billy and grant being gay was a bit unneccesary though 4 stars
10/30/11 Jon Horrible. It felt like a TV show, but it was worse because this is supposed to be a movie. 1 stars
1/12/11 Matt Stilwell Nowhere near as bad as everyone says it is. I really like it. 4 stars
8/10/10 Chad Dillon Cooper Another Hostess Twinkie from the Hollywood bakery. 2 stars
11/06/09 PAUL SHORTT LITTLE MORE THAN A GLORIFIED SLASHER FILM, ALBEIT WITH NONHUMAN VILLIANS 1 stars
8/02/08 Shaun Wallner This movie has some great scenes in it. 5 stars
7/13/08 Samantha Harding Its was AWESOME its so vilent but not as vilent as 2. 5 stars
6/21/08 Bob makl It Wasint that bad, considering fucky other sequels 4 stars
5/22/08 Naveed not bad. atleast it helped me 2gain some knowledge about dinosaurs 3 stars
5/14/08 Abrar Ahmed 3deaths back2back??shud hav been random.M eagr 4JP-4 Mr.Spielberg wit better story dis time 3 stars
1/12/08 nosipho I THOUGHT THE MOVIE WAS SO NICE 4 stars
10/23/07 Beau I thought this sequel had everthing! great action, suspense, unpridictable and enjoyable!! 5 stars
8/22/07 raheema excellent iloved it 5 stars
8/02/07 itchmr underestimated because it was a third release in the franchise, the performances were solid 4 stars
7/30/07 Seisomsaur Stanley Thai is right, better than #2, but not #1. Fun to watch. 4 stars
7/30/07 Dr.Dino A great addition to Jurassic Park franchise. 5 stars
7/28/07 GWolf The only Jurassic Park Monster Movie 2 stars
7/28/07 Dinoslayer Good for entertainment, free of expression. For other words, a caramel covered air pocket. 3 stars
4/22/07 David Risser One of the top 20 movies I have ever seen. Highly recomended 5 stars
4/01/07 Stanley Thai Better than the second film (not the first) and a great popcorn flick! 4 stars
2/24/07 justine i like to watch jurassic park 1 5 stars
2/16/07 Vip Ebriega Still a good creature feature flick. 4 stars
1/21/07 del Better than 2 (which was bad, too), but still just one big "Meh..." 3 stars
1/15/07 David Pollastrini not as good as the first two 4 stars
11/11/06 Austin Wertman NOT AS GOOD AS THE FIRST TWO, BUT STILL ALOT OF FUN 4 stars
8/09/06 Dragon The Artist Worst of the 3, but still watchable& at least 1/2 way decent. 3 stars
6/27/06 joe koski its good but not as good as jurassic park 1 3 stars
4/21/06 Jack Excitingly great 5 stars
3/11/06 Sam The ending could have been better, but still a solid flick 5 stars
3/09/06 Dk the weakest in the trilogy and the stupidest to 2 stars
1/02/06 Anthony Feor Not as bad as you would think 4 stars
12/21/05 cody a good sequel better than part 2 , great dino action and fun ride from beginning to end 4 stars
10/10/05 Wisamane what a Horribly made Plot! Not worthy of the JP name!! 1 stars
8/10/05 ES The dinos were great, love that T-rex fight 4 stars
7/25/05 Mark Radburn Jurassic Park 3 is the Greatest movie ever 5 stars
7/21/05 jada movie was HORRIBLE! but whenever i need a good laugh, i re-read DokBrowne's review. 1 stars
5/27/05 Quigley pretty good action and great digital effects, but the plot was as cardboard as the lost kid 4 stars
5/26/05 tony t-rex dead?(don't get it). Sometimes very predictible and very slow. But pretty good anyway 4 stars
5/25/05 Lindsay Dude, that is SO funny. I agree with u, though u have opinion issues, ur hilarious!! 1 stars
5/19/05 Luke BlackAdder Anyone who does not like this film are assholes, Jurassic Park 3 is a must-see 5 stars
5/09/05 I don't know very interesting 5 stars
4/26/05 moviesamurai nothing new-just a slightly new plot 2 stars
4/22/05 John carelessly made cash in on a franchise name 1 stars
3/18/05 Tyrantis In a Batman movie, you don't kill Batman. In Jurassic Park, YOU DON'T KILL THE REX! 1 stars
1/26/05 Aaron Smith Not as good as first, but whole lot better than Lost World 3 stars
12/24/04 John lifeless, predicatble and flat, if it wasn't for the pterodactyles it would be horrendous 2 stars
11/20/04 Mark Jurassic Park 3 rules 5 stars
11/19/04 screb liked it 4 stars
8/26/04 American Slasher Goddess A boring retread, that does nothing new with the series 2 stars
8/01/04 Anthony G One of the dumbest movies ever, makes pee wee hermans playhouse look like the best movie ev 5 stars
7/18/04 Benjamin Petrofsky What?! T.Rex conquered? In your dreams! Movie was good anyway. 4 stars
6/13/04 Craig The ending sucked, the rest is at least somewhat worthy of the series. 4 stars
6/11/04 Raymond Lee what a ride 5 stars
6/10/04 Daveman An entertaining improvement over the second film but still nowhere near as fun as the first 3 stars
6/09/04 Evan just thought i'd annoy everyone 4 stars
5/16/04 Jack Bourbon Entertaining B-shlock 4 stars
5/15/04 somewhere As Bad as the 2nd one 1 stars
5/08/04 hef liked 1 & 2, hated 3 1 stars
5/05/04 J.Peckerfoot what a pile of dino shit. i loved the first and even the second.no thanks #3! 2 stars
4/09/04 American Slasher Goddess The worst of the series,boringly bland. 2 stars
3/29/04 Michelle It's the reviewer who is pretty bad, not the movie! 5 stars
3/18/04 Umbrella Corporation. PLZ! LET PART 4 BE BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3 stars
3/16/04 The Dude This movie sucks my ass. 1 stars
2/28/04 DM Should have stopped with the first one 1 stars
2/20/04 PRATIK ANJANIA GOOD MOVIE TO SEE IT AGAIN&AGAIN 4 stars
2/06/04 c.r This movie is better than part 2 and love any dinosaur movie! 3 stars
1/21/04 Joe BLANK one who enjoys this film must be one who has the word enjoy mistaken for it's antonym. 1 stars
10/06/03 KYLE HE GUYS WHATSUP 5 stars
5/31/03 leon %%0qwe GOOD JUST WISH TEA LEONI CHARACTER WAS KILLED!ON JP2 WHO KILLED PEOPLE ON THE SHIP?WHO WHO 3 stars
5/27/03 Tom JP3 Better than #2? Are you out of your mind? The movie is Terrible. 1 stars
4/25/03 BILLY This should have been called Jurassic Shit 1 stars
4/10/03 Jack Bourbon Not bad. Keeps it short and simple. Should have sent more characters to JP to die, though 3 stars
3/29/03 Ionicera painful to sit through 1 stars
2/23/03 Paul What a 180 million box office joke... 1 stars
2/19/03 Matthew Jones Great Dinos. Spinosaurus is real, dumbass (this to reviewer Slyder) hope they make #4! 4 stars
2/11/03 spacecowboy stupid. 3 stars
2/06/03 Turtle JP3 is better than #2, but doesn't touch #1. It ain't gonna win any awards, but it's fun. 4 stars
1/29/03 Bob Josephine SUCKE FUCKING DICK! HATE IT 1 stars
12/17/02 C.reeves A great movie in the Jurassic series. 4 stars
11/26/02 Evil Cartman This movie sucks all ass! Die Tea, DIE!!!!!!!!! 1 stars
11/08/02 Stevo Best of the series, dumbass but thrilling. The genius raptors are still ridiculous though. 4 stars
9/28/02 CVJ CRAP 1 stars
9/01/02 movie guy THE BEST JURASSIC PARK EVER 5 stars
8/19/02 jurassiraptor Made just for the fans, and loved by the fans. Perfect movie; better than all competition 5 stars
8/17/02 Zefram Mann Pointless movie. Kid was a boy Newt. BTW, the Spinasaurous is a REAL dino. RESEARCH MAN!!! 3 stars
8/15/02 Shaun while the movie was rushed without a script, its fun in its B-Movie way, gets the job done 4 stars
8/13/02 palaboy101 better than "The Lost World" 4 stars
6/13/02 Film Guy what the shit is this A raptor saying Alan I almost lost it . What an insult to the 1st 1 stars
5/18/02 Jon Artus Could only be made worse by Jeff Goldblum in a polka-dot bikini. 1 stars
5/14/02 Blake THIS ONE GOES ON TOP, NON-STOP ACTION! 5 stars
3/11/02 Monday Morning The feelgood film of the new millennium. Eat me! 4 stars
3/05/02 Jenny Tullwartz Possibly best in series. Good to see Sam Neill back; too bad Laura D has only a cameo. 5 stars
3/01/02 Unagiboy This franchise continues to entertain me. The cell phone scene was hilarious. 4 stars
2/22/02 Monday Morning Solid entertainment. What's wrong with that? 4 stars
2/20/02 Xaver Boring. Tiring. The same ol' same ol'. 2 stars
1/02/02 Turtle After a second (more relaxed) viewing, I like it much better. Nice popcorn flick. 4 stars
12/20/01 OSVALDO pepin 1 stars
12/15/01 BoBo This movie sucks all ass! Die Tea, DIE!!!!!!!!! 1 stars
12/07/01 Waylon Roundtree A vicious misstep. 2 stars
11/24/01 travis i love all the jpmovies.cannot wait till jp4 comes out 5 stars
10/16/01 Mr. Hat (formerly Joe Zappa) It's pretty cool, but only 2 or 3 people got eaten! I'm angry! 4 stars
10/16/01 Kieran Belshaw Not too bad, better than the second , nothing on the first. 4 stars
10/04/01 Evil Bitchwoman its so boring, Spielberg has overdone the whole JP thing. No plot, crap acting. SHIT 1 stars
10/02/01 Kirk Shouldn't those people have figured out how to stay away by now? 4 stars
10/01/01 Phoenix In a B-Movie way, JPIII delivers the goods. 4 stars
9/27/01 aurora pathetic plot, the end would have served better at the begining 1 stars
9/25/01 Shane Robert Myers!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was good but Speilberg shoud've wrote the script for god sack and something has evolved! 4 stars
9/25/01 viking At least it's better than the Lost World 3 stars
9/20/01 Trunks This movie rocked but needed some extra spice to make it perfect. 5 stars
9/15/01 Connoisseur I loved the first two dino flicks, but this was way too short! There's no Climax! 3 stars
9/14/01 CHU SENG POONG Watchable but been there done that. 3 stars
9/12/01 D'Morph nice dino's, really dumb plot. couldve been alot better 3 stars
9/10/01 Bront what a crock of shit.... what have they done 2 stars
9/09/01 RJ Ludwig An interesting new feeling to an otherwise effects orientated series 4 stars
9/04/01 L. Iulius Very exciting, better then Lost World, they dinosaurs look better with each movie. 5 stars
9/03/01 G-flat total boredom, hardly a single exciting moment 2 stars
9/03/01 travis robertson stephen spilberg shouldconsiderstartingoverfreshnexttime.jp3wasalrightiguess 4 stars
8/26/01 Gracy Lionheart Pointless movie. I could not have cared less about the characters...have seen worse though 2 stars
8/22/01 The Boy In The Designer Bubble Can't the geniuses of Hollywood write something new once in a while? 3 stars
8/21/01 Metallica What a waste of my fucking afternoon 1 stars
8/20/01 I love movies wait for video even if you loved the first two, way too short and silly, music was awful! 3 stars
8/18/01 Matt Jackson Good movie but the ending was BAD! plot was thin but what did you expect? 4 stars
8/18/01 Babybelle Keep the dinos. Dump the humans. 3 stars
8/17/01 Matthew Bartley Like it's been edited together from cut scenes from the other two 3 stars
8/16/01 jack d'skdskds' 1 stars
8/15/01 Brad Mantz sweet 4 stars
8/13/01 Bueller Been there, done that! Great special effects, but we expect that from JP. Very contrived. 3 stars
8/12/01 Matt The storyline was : theres a dinosaur run! repeat ,repeat,etc.END 2 stars
8/11/01 fg pretty predictable but entertaining 4 stars
8/11/01 Dakamus It's odd that the summer's best comedy is this movie. I laughed the entire way through! 4 stars
8/09/01 keith langman forget plot and characters and everything important...just adventure fun 4 stars
8/08/01 surreyman If only the humans could act as well as the dinosaurs 1 stars
8/08/01 Franky Tea Leoni's the most frightening thing about this sleep aid. 1 stars
8/06/01 Mr. Hat (formerly Joe Zappa) Mix of the 1st 2:It's bright&adventurousANDit'sdark&rainy.But only3 people died!I'm pissed! 4 stars
8/05/01 ted v. good movie! almost as good as the first one, definitely BETTER than The Lost World! 5 stars
8/05/01 E-Funk Far superior to Spielberg's lame-ass sequel...but that's not saying much. 3 stars
8/03/01 Kimble much better than the 2nd and only a little bit away from the first 5 stars
8/03/01 Heike Schneider-Büsing "Even the dinosaurs were bored! 2 stars
8/03/01 Joe D no words 1 stars
7/31/01 mike crap 1 stars
7/31/01 Aaron movie kinda sucks 1 stars
7/30/01 Darren Shea JP3 was much more entertaining than Lost World, but that's not saying much... 4 stars
7/30/01 Katherine Perry It was much better than I was 'critic-ally' prepared for. 4 stars
7/30/01 Ro Sho Great main character, small lousy supporting cast, no build up, no suspence and no payoff. 3 stars
7/28/01 mike the first is still the best, but this was awesome (the spinosaurus kicked ass) 5 stars
7/27/01 S.Coppa Good summer thriller, but definately not as good as the 1st on 4 stars
7/27/01 Turtle I saw this at the drive-in, and it was a huge waste of that big screen. 3 stars
7/26/01 Fish Eye Besides the FX, this movie sucks. The story is fucking lame! 2 stars
7/26/01 mkillroy Same ol same ol 3 stars
7/24/01 Zantetsuken My ass hurt after watching this movie, and not because it fell asleep. 1 stars
7/24/01 John Travolta I'm not in this movie but it still sucks all ass. 1 stars
7/24/01 Chris Cheng If you loved the first, hated the second, you wil want to kill yourself after seeing JP3. 1 stars
7/23/01 Chip S. Ahoy Fuck me in the ass! I can't believe they made it so pathetic and stupid 1 stars
7/23/01 Obi Wan Give this an R rating already!!! I wanna see blood and more dinosaur blood. 4 stars
7/23/01 jada i waited for this!? i went in not expecting much and got even less. 2 stars
7/22/01 Jim Kidd Loved it! It scared the crap out of me cause we were in the THX theatre, and it was loud! 5 stars
7/22/01 benjamin.leatherman Blecch! Jurassic Krap! 1 stars
7/22/01 RazorDog Near the end a baby started crying in the theater... I felt the same. 2 stars
7/20/01 John Torres Thank god Julia Roberts is not in this fx!!!!!!!!!!!! 4 stars
7/20/01 Roy Smith Great FX but that's it. Predictable as a Jason/Freddie movie. 2 stars
7/20/01 Rich Cirivilleri Most clever use of a cellphone onscreen i've seen in weeks! 4 stars
7/20/01 Moazzam Saleem Take my advice ... Watch Jurassic Park 1 all over again. It would still be more entertainin 1 stars
7/19/01 keith langman a good thrill ride 3 stars
7/19/01 Joe D Ishtar 3 : The Jurassic Period! 1 stars
7/19/01 David Sanchez I think Steven Spielburg did a better job Producing the movie than just Directing. 5 stars
7/19/01 Jurrasic bomb! This movie was a let down. Great FX, movie ruined by bad acting, no plot. 2 stars
7/19/01 Obi Wan Good...but for JP4 could we bring more victims to the park and add an R rating to this!!!!! 5 stars
7/19/01 Jeff Billy should be dead. He was ripped apart by pterodactyls, there's no way he survived 4 stars
7/19/01 Wolvie Visually impressive, but weak on plot. 3 stars
7/19/01 Hotaine Take the cutting-room-floor parts from JP1, splice 'em together, and voila! JP3! 2 stars
7/19/01 dwiggs um...hello? this was the sorriest movie ive seen in years. what a stain on the jp name. 1 stars
7/19/01 malcolm pale imitation of 1st two. i've seen it all before. 2 stars
7/19/01 Islandspud Good but a little short. A lot of potential left out 4 stars
7/19/01 bullit17 If Michael Crichton were to see this, he'd drop dead and roll over. Dino-sucks. 2 stars
7/19/01 Sexy Loser Vincent I think it was a fun movie...beter than the 2nd yet not as classic or smart as the OG!! 4 stars
7/18/01 J Not bad. Unsuprisingly better than the 2nd movie but suprisingly better than the original. 3 stars
7/18/01 Hobbes Just like the first squel, with out all that messy "plot" 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  18-Jul-2001 (PG-13)
  DVD: 29-Nov-2005

UK
  N/A

Australia
  30-Aug-2001 (PG)


Directed by
  Joe Johnston

Written by
  Peter Buchman
  Alexander Payne
  Jim Taylor

Cast
  Sam Neill
  William H. Macy
  Téa Leoni
  John Diehl
  Michael Jeter
  Laura Dern



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