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Overall Rating
4.47

Awesome75%
Worth A Look: 11.9%
Just Average: 4.76%
Pretty Crappy: 1.79%
Sucks: 6.55%

5 reviews, 138 user ratings


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Goonies, The
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by FrankG

"Richard Donner's 'One-Eyed' Willie is the scare of the film."
5 stars

A young boy on an adventure with his buddies and older brother, search for "One-Eyed" Willy's hidden treasure. And no, it isn't gay porn!

There is too much gay man-boy molestation undertone in this film to get into here. Besides, I think it might be illegal to talk about that on the web. Goonies is brought to us by Richard Donner who also brought us these other NAMBLA cries for help:

The Toy
The Omen
Free Willy and Free Willy 2
The Lost Boys

But hey... he also gave us a gaggle of cool action films, so I guess that makes up for it.

Even with the homo-erotica, I loved this movie. Does this make me gay? I don't know. But I first saw Goonies in my early teens, and it was a confusing and experimental time for me.

Anyway... this movie is the ultimate pre-teen-boy movie. I don't know how the girls like it, but this is what every boy I knew wanted to do when I was that age. Yes, go sperlunking in dark caves looking for "One-Eyed" Willy.

Goonies is the dream of every boy... and even of some sweaty men.

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=942&reviewer=4
originally posted: 09/09/98 09:45:07
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User Comments

12/10/12 Nellie Hasn't aged well. 1 stars
4/05/11 Jennifer Marquardt great adventure for kids if the swearing was removed 4 stars
1/17/11 Listy This will always be one of the definitive 80's movies, a true classic....great fun. 5 stars
10/01/10 bored mom The one classic kid film where the kids actually behave like intelligent, smart-ass adults. 5 stars
7/01/10 brian Annoying kids, stupid plot, inane dialogue, cliches every minute. What's to like? 1 stars
3/01/10 PAUL SHORTT SILLY, LIVELY AND NOISY 2 stars
8/28/08 Shaun Wallner The storyline is well made! 5 stars
5/13/08 Semper This movie so cartoonish but how evr it makes up for it in its action packed kid way and tg 4 stars
2/12/08 chris a movie to remember when you were a kid 4 stars
5/23/07 mikie ahhh Robert your an idiot, this is an 80s classic. "SLOTH LOVE CHUNK" 5 stars
4/23/07 tony fratelli just pour chocolate on the floor and let chunk eat his way thru!!....fuckin classic! 4 stars
4/05/07 TyBlack This really one of the best moives out there and its a definite classic 5 stars
12/25/06 johnnyfog Love it when Astin chucks his inhaler at the end, "Who needs it." YOU DO YOU MORON!! 5 stars
10/16/06 AJ Muller five of us saw it openingday (last day of school, 4th grade), changed our lives 5 stars
5/28/06 Troy M. Grzych One of the best films ever made. Should have made a sequel when the kids were kids. 5 stars
3/13/06 David avery Excellent movie for the whole family!! 5 stars
3/05/06 Anthony Feor An Adventure movie and a half 5 stars
1/17/06 cody a overated movie, but this movie is fun adventure flick for kids! 3 stars
12/15/05 Ryan The best movie that Spielberg has made. I wish more movies were like this. 5 stars
8/19/05 ES They just don't make kids movies like this anymore 4 stars
8/18/05 Danny SO ENTERTAINING for all ages! 5 stars all the way! Anne Ramsay is hilarious as "Mama". 5 stars
6/01/05 andrew osborn its the best movie of its liftetiome 5 stars
5/28/05 tony Great adventure movie both for kids and adults. You all will love it! 5 stars
3/24/05 Abbi one of my childhood classics! 4 stars
2/06/05 Jeff Anderson Now this is what an adventure should be like, PERIOD! GOONIES NEVER SAY DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
1/21/05 Steve Michaud I love this film just as much at 32 as I did at 12; one of my all-time fave '80s movies 5 stars
1/10/05 Lucas Stenz Good kids movie; Spielberg-esque in tone 4 stars
11/16/04 CHUNK HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY YOUUUUUUUU GUYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
10/28/04 Georgie Porgie We all love Mikey and still do ;) I wasn't even born when The Goonies came out! 5 stars
10/17/04 Miles Morley CHUNK-- you rock big fella 5 stars
10/12/04 Mel I <3 the Goonies 5 stars
9/30/04 dru downy all-time classic, makes me tingle 5 stars
9/03/04 T.B. It good kids movie 3 stars
7/18/04 me frog Okay, though lacking originality 3 stars
6/07/04 Erica very funny movie/ made me laugh 5 stars
5/12/04 Vacha my very favorite movie. they don't get much more fun than this! 5 stars
4/30/04 Deformed Guy from Goonies HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY GUUUYYYYYYYYYSSSSSSSSSS! 5 stars
4/13/04 slayathon This was a fave from when I was a kid and I have the guilty pleasure of owning it on dvd 5 stars
4/10/04 Larissa Great,awesome 5 stars
3/30/04 kenny PICE OF SHIT FILM THEY CAN ALL DIE!!!!!! 1 stars
3/11/04 Dave I loved it especially chunk and sloth 5 stars
2/25/04 kelly It is the best of all time 5 stars
2/02/04 Chelsea the movie's older than i am, but it's my all time favorite 5 stars
12/25/03 your worst goddamn nightmare if you didn't love this as a kid growing up, you'll probably never "get it"... 5 stars
12/06/03 john it's honest and fun - the kids are great! 4 stars
11/04/03 American Slasher Goddess They sure don't make them like this anymore. 5 stars
10/19/03 snowconehead Best movie of the entire decade 5 stars
10/07/03 goonies_lover great milkshake of a movie 5 stars
9/03/03 ChanceHead THIS COULD BE THE WORST MOVIE EVER MADE EXCEPT AMERICAN NINJA 1 stars
8/25/03 Jenn super-kool flick with an awesome cast of very talented kids! 5 stars
7/21/03 Double G Awesome Movie, I actually looked for a house so I can live in that neighborhood. 5 stars
7/08/03 natasha_theobald great adventure for the kid in all of us 5 stars
5/28/03 Mike Great 5 stars
5/22/03 Yeah! Super Duper the Luxe ! 5 stars
4/30/03 Naton R. Watch this when you have a dip.. it works!! 5 stars
3/31/03 Mr. Do Great movie. 5 stars
3/12/03 kelley jewell best movie ever 5 stars
2/24/03 Angie I love this movie!!!! I have seen it about a million times. 5 stars
1/20/03 Doug Onufro So what if the Goonies isn't the most perfect of movies? If it entertains, then it's great! 5 stars
1/10/03 Amanda i luv it it is the greatest movie ever 5 stars
11/24/02 Charles Tatum Really cool when I was younger 4 stars
11/10/02 Daniel The bad guys (esp. Momma) are a riot! This movie is a lot of fun!! 5 stars
9/19/02 SUZY ITS A CLASSIC 5 stars
8/21/02 TheChronic I must've seen this movie 8 times at the theatre as a kid....God it's AWESOME for a kid! 5 stars
8/21/02 TheChronic I must've seen this movie 8 times at the theatre as a kid....god it's AWESOME for a kid! 5 stars
6/03/02 NWO4LIFE As an adult, if you surrender to it, it's near impossible not to like. 4 stars
3/25/02 Rachael Gran I wached this every day after I came home from school as a kid. 5 stars
3/23/02 Hobbitsrule! I watched this movie for the first time recently (to see little Sean Astin!), and loved it! 4 stars
3/11/02 KevinS THIS MOVIE IS THE BEST MOVIE EVER MADE!!! And for" It got cheezy", SO DID YOUR MOM;0) 5 stars
3/07/02 Mo Anand This is a cool fantasy with great young actors 4 stars
2/25/02 K y L e I love this fucking movie beyond what your mind can comprehend. 5 stars
2/20/02 Xaver Fun adventure with a bit of spookiness at times. 4 stars
2/09/02 L.B. Lafady It's the best ! 5 stars
2/04/02 Nevz You.. GOONIES! 5 stars
2/01/02 Geo7654 Irresistible kids adventure movie. A lot of fun. 4 stars
1/28/02 Toni Lynn Gleason I LOVE THIS MOVIE IF FUCKING ROCKZ! 5 stars
1/27/02 Del Part of my prolonged "80's flashback" 5 stars
11/06/01 Zach Thomas The greatest movie of all time 5 stars
10/30/01 Henry Ginsberg It started of good, but then it just got cheesy 3 stars
10/25/01 shep_ramsay hey you guys 5 stars
10/09/01 Erick Barbor My favorite movie of all time!!! Honestly!!!! 5 stars
9/08/01 Dick you off Fucking good movie 5 stars
9/05/01 Mathias A movie I loved when I was a kid. And I still love it ! 5 stars
8/05/01 E-Funk My favorite childhood film...and it's still gets better every time I see it. 5 stars
6/11/01 Emily Ascue very good...i still pop it in the VCR once in a great while 5 stars
5/23/01 cat this homo erotica perspective is a disappointment and is irrelevant to the film 5 stars
5/13/01 Chunk Funny and fun as hell, if you understand the juxtaposition. 5 stars
5/07/01 Desert Eagle overrated 3 stars
5/03/01 Meagan M. Gaschk A complete classic 5 stars
4/25/01 Sarah Still as great at 22 as when I saw it at 6 5 stars
3/31/01 Andrew Carden How could anyone add this to their top 20 list? 2 stars
3/18/01 Bob Bik 022 This movie was hott. If u dont like it then suck my 9 inch c*ck 5 stars
3/16/01 ender :-D 5 stars
3/02/01 Neil Wetzel It is the greates movie of all time. 5 stars
2/12/01 zachary spiehler it's a great movie with alot of adventure 4 stars
2/05/01 curious george like the review says too much little boy touchy touchy gay molestation stuff 1 stars
1/17/01 Kipling This is my favourite movie of ALL time! 5 stars
1/10/01 Nick Ivins Nostalgic trip to wonderland. The gray scenery is neat, and underground adventures are fun 5 stars
12/23/00 Bryson This is the best fucking movie in the world. Second to none. 5 stars
12/04/00 Lindsay E Goonies has been my favorite movie since kindergarten. It is the best 5 stars
12/01/00 Ashley Duquette it was amazing my all time favorite movie. 5 stars
11/19/00 The EVIL Penguin nice 4 stars
11/17/00 Julie P. Goonies is one of my alltime favorite movies! 5 stars
9/29/00 no 1 goonie fan in the world watched this movie 21 times 5 stars
9/21/00 Jayme Jaques It's TOTALLY hilarious. I LOVE the movie!!! 5 stars
9/08/00 Solana This movie rocks! I believe in pirates, why don't you? 5 stars
8/31/00 JB McMichael The best piece of film ever created. I can watch it 1000 times (and I have). 5 stars
7/24/00 Matta My favorite movie of all time. How can you not like it? 5 stars
6/14/00 Ryan Hamilton Definately, the best teen movie after Ferris Buller's day off!!! 5 stars
6/13/00 Aaron Some stupid moments, but overall a very good film 4 stars
5/31/00 Jim Beam Great Movie! 5 stars
4/30/00 Steve Layne A lot of fun, but at times the movie feels overwhelming. 4 stars
4/11/00 jacob mclean "do you boys lke tounge" 5 stars
3/12/00 Derek BEST MOVIE EVER MADE if your a child of the 80's 5 stars
2/29/00 Alex a fun children's move 5 stars
1/26/00 The Bomb 69 even better 15 years later 5 stars
1/24/00 Lauren Good movie 5 stars
1/24/00 eric farrell pretty good sometimes stupid. 3 stars
1/02/00 Julian Yap i recall seeing this in the cinema as a kid. truly a classic. fun in the whole sense. 5 stars
12/27/99 perverted pixie One of my childhood favourites and I still love it! Chunk and Mouth are brilliant. 5 stars
11/03/99 Mickey "Father Death" MacJohnstmyster This movie is brilliant . Ahah Roc-ky Road ahah , rent it , buy it , go get it NOW ! 5 stars
10/20/99 Anthony Calomeni This is a movie for all generations 5 stars
10/01/99 Matthew Bartley A teenage classic 5 stars
9/19/99 Diana Quattrone Best Movie ever made!!!! 5 stars
9/03/99 Jason Kinsey pretty stupid- I don't know why so many retards liked this film 2 stars
6/15/99 Dylan Fucking ace kids flick. Matures well with age. 5 stars
5/04/99 Big Dog I do the truffle shuffle everyday 5 stars
4/29/99 Angie A TOTAL CLASSIC!!! Chunk, Sloth, and Mouth rule baby!! "Baby Ruth??" 5 stars
4/19/99 Martin I've seen this movie 100 times and I still like it 5 stars
4/07/99 Dave Fun movie! 5 stars
10/18/98 Kwyjibo Come on folks. This is pretty sad if you watch it now. 3 stars
9/27/98 Brandon B. Chunk rules. 5 stars
9/22/98 Johny I liked a lot it when I was younger 4 stars
9/19/98 J-Guy One time, michael jackson stopped at my dad's gas station to use the bathroom. -- loved it. 5 stars
9/18/98 P.S.Lew i could see it a hundred times!!! 5 stars
9/14/98 cheryl_ann the "truffle shuffle" made this movie...well, it was more than that. great 80's flick. 4 stars
9/10/98 The incredible, edible GKR NOW THIS IS A CLASSIC! eat the rocky road chunk 5 stars
9/09/98 Bruce Willis' mama. Yikes. Made me feel icky. 3 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  07-Jun-1985 (PG)
  DVD: 02-Nov-2010

UK
  N/A

Australia
  02-Jul-1985 (PG)




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