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Overall Rating
2.13

Awesome: 7.06%
Worth A Look: 15.34%
Just Average: 10.12%
Pretty Crappy: 18.4%
Sucks49.08%

16 reviews, 230 user ratings


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Van Helsing
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by Ryan Arthur

"Blücher!"
1 stars

Here's an idea: take a well-known trio of characters, characters with tradition and backstory, characters that are the cornerstone of a legendary film studio's rich history...and take a massive steaming dump over all of it? Why, that's the driving idea behind Van Helsing!

First of all, I get it: Van Helsing is supposed to be this big, dumb, popcorn movie for summer. But I frankly expect more from a film that trumpeted the fact that it was reintroducing the characters of Dracula, Frankenstein's monster and the Wolf Man to two audiences: those that love the characters and those that are seeing them for the first time. Kind of a pity that Dracula's all wrong, the Wolf Man's a bad special effect and Frankenstein's monster - the one who seems to be the most faithful to the source material, the most done "right" - gets the least amount of screen time?

Van Helsing starts promisingly. The Universal logo fades from color to black and white, dissolves into a ball of fire and then dissolves again into the flaming end of a torch held by the member of an angry mob. Nifty. The mob storms Castle Frankenstein, where the monster (Shuler Hensley)'s being born under the watchful eye of his "father" (Samuel West), Igor (Kevin J. O'Connor) and...Dracula (Richard Roxburgh)? What's the dilly? Well, Drac needs the big guy for something, but he doesn't get the chance to use him: the mob enters, chasing the monster (with dead pop in tow) to a rickety old windmill, where he's presumably destroyed in a fire, while Drac and his three vamps (Josie Maran, Elena Anaya and Mrs. Roxburgh, Silvia Colloca) lament their loss.

Cut to a year later, where we're in London and in color. It's pretty much all downhill from there. We see the titular monster hunter/killer (Hugh Jackman) botch the capture of Hagrid before returning to Rome. He works for the church, see, and they're sending him and his sidekick, the Q-crossed-crossed-with-Porky Pig-as-comedy-relief Carl (David Wenham) to Transylvania to help the last remaining members of the gypsy clan Valerious take out Dracula, who's been picking off villagers for the last century. Van Helsing takes up with Anna Valerious (Kate Beckinsale) to try and off the big bad bat, who's using the Wolf Man (Will Kemp) as a henchman. The plot is your standard bad guy wants world domination. The vehicle is Drac and his brides setting thousands of their "children" (read: bat-babies) loose on the world. It's the execution that is horrible. I'd call it Castlevania: The Movie, but that's really not fair to Castlevania.

I'll give Van Helsing this: it looks pretty darn good. The set design is impressive, particularly the two castle locations. Jackman tries his hardest to make heroic, and Beckinsale looks quite yummy. But past that, outside of the look of the film itself, there's literally nothing there.

The story (what little of it there is) abandons logic and common sense, not so much rewriting the Universal monster mythology as setting fire to it and then urinating on it. Vamps can be in daylight...as long as it's overcast! Men change into werewolves by the light of the full moon...then transform back if it's really cloudy! Townspeople who live in fear of Dracula stand outside and wait for him to show up with his vamp harem...then freak out when he shows up! Yes, run out into the open to be swept up and away towards certain doom! Idiots. Director Stephen Sommers professes love for the classic Universal characters, yet pisses all over their origins and histories. Dracula's henchmen? Jawas! That's right: who's helping the undead? Evil midgets! The film climaxes with a final battle between two of the key characters, and features one computer-generated character fighting another. And yes, it looks horrible. The finale harkens back to both The Lion King and the death of "Bleeding Gums" Murphy, of all things, and lacks the emotional oomph of both.

Acting-wise, Jackman fares the best, but that's not saying much. The script has lame one-liners for all, and Jackman seems to be trying the hardest to play everything relatively straight. Beckinsale can't seem to keep a handle on her Romanian accent from one scene to the next, and seems bored out of her pretty little head. Must be the fact that she's in her second suckass werewolf/vampire movie in as many years. Wenham's lightyears from Faramir, which is far from a good thing. And Roxburgh? Richard Roxburgh, who I actually liked as a brazenly hammy Duke in Moulin Rouge!, gives possibly the worst performance I've seen in a film in roughly the last ten years. And I've seen Seagal movies. He's not scary, menacing, creepy...he's just sort of there. It's as if the entire performance were delivered while in a coma. He was going for weighty melodrama that came across as gay drowsiness. Even when he flies into a rage, it's as though the rage were tempered by massive amounts of Transylvanian Prozac. You'd think a guy with three hot vampire wives would have a little more pep.

I hated Van Helsing. I hated that outside of the opening sequence, there was no reverence to the source material. I hated the fact that it took three heavyweights of horror and stuck 'em in a PG-13 kid-friendly commercial for video games, toys and cartoons. I hated the fact that it was a jokey, campy, talky bore instead of a balls-out action horror hybrid. I hated the fact that the Wolf Man became a badly animated cartoon. I hated the final twenty minutes most of all.

Van Helsing is reportedly the new Universal franchise, the cornerstone of a series that will probably go back to the well, with the title character facing more Universal monsters (Creature From The Black Lagoon? Invisible Man? Abbott & Costello?), making Van Helsing the new Batman, with the Universal library of monsters his rogues gallery. If that's the case, the first Van Helsing is already Batman & Robin, and Stephen Sommers is Joel Schumacher. Is that really what the moviegoing public wants? Or needs?

link directly to this review at http://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=9518&reviewer=7
originally posted: 05/09/04 00:03:13
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User Comments

4/17/16 ccmpteht USA 4 stars
5/07/09 true poo-poo alert. Stinks bad. Good actors in a horrible movie. 1 stars
1/19/09 Fruitcake angel Classic monsters and fairytale Transylvania win. Gorgeously dressed vampettes were fun. 4 stars
12/14/08 john doe its an ok film to watch 4 stars
10/06/08 Shaun Wallner Great Action!! 5 stars
5/31/08 Raven Didnt even finish the film as it was so horrible. 1 stars
5/08/08 Karrie Millheim I love vamp movies so I am rating this a four, it could have been better though 4 stars
10/28/07 Mick If you enjoyed this then you must be under 10 or BRAIN DEAD! 1 stars
10/11/07 Charles Not even Beckinsale could save this one. Very disappointing. 2 stars
7/28/07 Jeremy I liked it alot, these kind of movies arent my style but this one hit home 5 stars
4/21/07 Stevo UK This was actually a very bad vampire movi, that non - retards hated. 1 stars
2/22/07 Weblynx was a good vampire movie, actually liked it 4 stars
2/18/07 Nick Maday I really enjoyed this the first time through, but not so much in the times following. 3 stars
2/16/07 G Sherfy Sommers should be boiled in oil; horrible campy crap (worse than The Mummy 2 which I hated) 1 stars
2/14/07 I Gluck Could have been better but I still enjoyed it 3 stars
2/10/07 Fred Holmes Better than expected 4 stars
2/08/07 Raph Branca I recently saw this for the first time and thought it was a lot of fun. 4 stars
2/05/07 Shobert Might have been a blast had it been made by someone with an ounce of talent. 1 stars
2/03/07 David Cohen Van Helsing as a gothic horros Bond, sigh, it could have really been something 2 stars
2/03/07 Vip Ebriega Great horror stuff. 4 stars
1/13/07 ben worse than expected. watching this in the theatres would've been torture. 1 stars
11/19/06 michael classic horror flix 5 stars
11/17/06 annie Enjoyed the film. Would I watch it again? No. 3 stars
11/10/06 Jamethon hated this movie - a whole lot of dung 1 stars
11/09/06 Yusuf V loved this movie - a whole lot of fun 5 stars
11/08/06 Teresa Urutia Having to choose between this and Sorority Girls on the same night, Sorority Girls won 1 stars
10/08/06 Mark Paris Fantastic....non stop action all the way through 5 stars
8/22/06 David Cohen Sigh, it could have been so much more 2 stars
8/20/06 Jarkko Perälä Over two hours of bad acting and plot holes 1 stars
8/09/06 Dragon The Artist Ownable, but yet another action/horror film thats just above popcorn flick status. 4 stars
5/12/06 Fruit-Loop It sucks. So boring had to Exit house 1 stars
4/16/06 Jetrho Peter Cushing is the only real Van Helsing,this one' a fartknocker! 1 stars
4/12/06 ES No (laughs uncontrollably) it's a good mov- (laughs again harder). I can't even get it out! 1 stars
3/31/06 Tanya I enjoyed the special effects but that was it 2 stars
3/09/06 Dk Enjoyable and it looks great 4 stars
2/26/06 Anthony Feor Possibly the worst movie in the world 1 stars
1/22/06 Soha Molina crapy movie 1 stars
1/19/06 Richard Jones I thought this movie isnt worth to see at the box office 1 stars
1/19/06 Mike Pulido Kind of sucky but I usually stop and watch whenever i'm flipping through the channels 2 stars
1/18/06 MrsVoorheesBabyBoy Even Worse than Brothers' Grimm 1 stars
1/16/06 ella can we say Van Sucking? 1 stars
12/10/05 Jim A load of claptrap. Liked the hat, though. 2 stars
10/30/05 Shandra i liked the film i thought it was interesting 5 stars
10/23/05 Suk-R-Punch Dreaming about a Beckinsale Bukkake is the only thing that got me through this crap-fest!!! 1 stars
10/21/05 paddy I liked Beckinsale's outfit...That's about it. 1 stars
10/16/05 Crapture Doesn't everyone just love a good "tragity"...that says it all, doesn't it? 1 stars
10/12/05 Bryant Gumby FANTASTIC!!!! The audience I saw it with erupted in laughter and never stopped!!!!!!! 1 stars
9/24/05 Will Tingle As bad as I expected... 2 stars
9/20/05 Jonathon Holmes worst movie of the summer 1 stars
9/02/05 Mailk Stupid piece of garbage. 1 stars
9/01/05 Edward Seriously one of the worst movies I have ever seen...well...not really, but...CRAP!!!!!!!!! 1 stars
8/31/05 unlimited UNDERWORLD was just boring and lame...this, on the other hand, is HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 stars
8/30/05 Vasquez i'd be willing to pay someone to kill stephen sommers at this point...and pay big. 1 stars
8/29/05 Brisbane Did someone just take a giant poop on celluloid and call it VAN HELSING????????? 1 stars
8/28/05 Blissful Johnny Wow...and I thought UNDERWORLD was bad! I thought LXG was bad! This trumps them!!!!!!!!!! 1 stars
8/28/05 Jabberjaw The b&w opening was cool...and then the rest happened. Ending's good for a laugh, though. 1 stars
8/27/05 hicks VAN HELSING 2 is coming soon! Oh shit!!!! Pigs flying!!!!! Hell freezing!!!!!! Repent!! 1 stars
8/27/05 Joker I love this movie!!! For you see, I am a retard!!! 1 stars
8/18/05 ES Note the glass breaks before the werewolf hits it and shatters in the wrong direction 1 stars
8/07/05 George Roger Ebert recommends this over Die Hard? That man should be put in a mental hospital!!! 1 stars
8/02/05 ZIM A big, dumb yet slightly fun piece of crap 3 stars
7/27/05 Daveman Loud, obnoxious and physically painful to watch 1 stars
7/24/05 Moverlover Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT! 1 stars
7/18/05 Brandy Harrington Rancid shit. Fucking borefest. 1 stars
6/28/05 Jiz I fell asleep half-way through. At 3PM. 1 stars
6/26/05 mickanme worth a sunday arvo, cup of tea watch 4 stars
6/24/05 Mr Fluffy About as usefull as a hair lip 1 stars
6/13/05 Anthony G Weak ass shit. 1 stars
6/10/05 Manu Ginobli I was surprised at how boring this movie was. 1 stars
6/08/05 Taylor Fladgate I like how her accent diminishes as the movie goes on. 2 stars
6/01/05 Chris So this is what you get when Vampires mate 2 stars
5/24/05 Jake COMPLETE CRAP! IF YOU LIKE THIS MOVIE, YOUR EITHER RETARDED OR A WHIMP! 1 stars
4/29/05 reptilesni It's a kids movie. Don't expect more or you'll be disappointed. 3 stars
4/21/05 Colleen Goldrick great special effects 5 stars
4/19/05 Bonnie James I disagree with the main review. You go to the movies for entertainment. Helsing does the j 4 stars
4/15/05 Carol Conway Forgettable 2 stars
4/11/05 Landshark CGI Gone Wild -- after this debacle, even the CGI characters had low self esteem. 1 stars
3/13/05 Tamara Burks While it is a cheesy movie , I like cheese . So I enjoyed this one. 3 stars
3/11/05 Edler It is not that bad. It is hokey and corny. But ok in many respects. 3 stars
3/04/05 Gloria Anderson loved this one 5 stars
3/02/05 David Tsung great special effects but kate sucked 3 stars
3/01/05 Maggie Dressler Absolutely awesome 5 stars
2/27/05 Diane Stedner I liked it. 4 stars
2/25/05 Denise i love vamp movies 3 stars
2/25/05 James Kiang My high expectations were dashed by the obvious cgi and terrible accents. 2 stars
2/20/05 david basile a little to comic like 2 stars
2/16/05 kathleen4691 Frankenstein vs. wear-wolf marginally better than Godzilla vs. Mothra. 2 stars
2/14/05 Angela Saunders Great special effects, lacks plot. Disappointing after all the hype. 2 stars
2/10/05 bob thedwarf shite 1 stars
2/08/05 nannette ryan The movie was average I've seen much worse but I've also seen better 3 stars
2/06/05 Kenneth Helmick Just a fun movie 3 stars
2/04/05 bongeezer There are worse movies out there.... Honest 3 stars
2/04/05 tatum I can name a hundred movies worse than this one..."Ax 'Em"..."Shrek"... 4 stars
2/03/05 Tanya Grays I was not pleased with this movie, even the special effects can't save this one 2 stars
2/03/05 ss Not a bad movie. worth a look 4 stars
2/03/05 Kent B. I liked it. Thought it was different from the same old monster movies. 4 stars
2/01/05 BobbysRedQueen This Movie Stunk ! What happened to real horror films ? 1 stars
2/01/05 Philip Taylor it sucked 1 stars
2/01/05 Joe Kolarz I thought it was great, i hope there si a second one. 4 stars
2/01/05 Alice Colwell I don't think it was that bad 4 stars
1/31/05 Edward Condon I've seen worse, but not by much. 2 stars
1/31/05 Danita Berg Call me crazy - but I loved this movie - simply for it's campiness! 4 stars
1/31/05 craig varney dissappointing video game action not great vampire movie 3 stars
1/26/05 JesseL Great vampire movie. A little thin in spots but scenic. 4 stars
1/14/05 Hawkeye Pierce unaceptable, being a fan of the classics, the worst re-make ever and respectless. 1 stars
12/28/04 Steve Newman 30mins to long but loved special effects 3 stars
12/27/04 The Mockingbird I will never get the 2 minutes of my life back that I spent running away from this movie 1 stars
12/24/04 Freddy good effects and some hot chicks! 4 stars
12/19/04 jonnyboy omg wig something we agree on 1 stars
12/09/04 Jason Kaul This would have been good if the chick got naked. But she didn't, so it was mediocre. 3 stars
12/07/04 Kristina Williams shit shit shit! 1 stars
12/07/04 jonny boy same as gabby, kate beckinsale is a muppet indeed 2 stars
11/14/04 Gabby Kate Beckinsale cannot act to save her life. This film is just one big computer game. 2 stars
11/10/04 keithers.. yes it sucks...yes it's corney but that's the point..it's all in good fun 4 stars
11/05/04 TCIC The visuals keep this move alive, the plot is corny but the concepts are good 4 stars
11/02/04 JL Kinda cheesy, but Richard Roxburgh is the sexiest Dracula I've ever seen! 3 stars
10/29/04 Howard Lipsit Forget the "Plot" - A Visual Feast! 5 stars
10/27/04 Sean Dalton It makes you groan in embarassment at its ridiculousness again and again. 1 stars
10/25/04 lotrEEproper owns this shi& i agree but still better than hp and avp put together 1 stars
10/22/04 Hilary Adamson Makes Kate Dreckinsale almost seem likeable. 4 stars
10/21/04 Daniel nothing but cgi- poor plot,characters,dialogue-just a big computer animated piece of shit 1 stars
10/16/04 Pollo Excellent special effects. Where's the plot??? Where are the actors???Kill the screenwriter 2 stars
10/14/04 eugene this mvie is a load of fucked crtap is licks utter balls i am a eugene 1 stars
9/27/04 Butter G *speachless* on how terrible this was. it just blew me away by the stupidity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 stars
9/21/04 Benjamin Spicher Watch Hellboy instead! 1 stars
9/19/04 ozcan ass 4 stars
9/18/04 byron the movie was great itwas the best the harpies (Marishka,verna&Aleera) 5 stars
9/07/04 trent A big pile of sh*t. 1 stars
8/30/04 Rwillough I liked this movie. It wan't meant to be serious, but it was alot of fun to watch. 4 stars
8/20/04 Tyrantis I love Monster Movies, so I loved it. But it still sucked pretty bad. 2 stars
8/13/04 Uncle Phucker The worse big movie of the decaded. Not one good scene. 1 stars
8/09/04 The Lurchprong Splitter Forget Catwoman! This has batwomen! 3 stars
8/02/04 Nykki It was a cool movie to watch, I'm picky and this movie really got on my list ofthingsto buy 5 stars
8/01/04 Raf Milis Except that kate looks like she can come around every night,this movie is so shitty..man... 1 stars
7/29/04 Shams Huque Man this was terrible. 2 stars
7/29/04 Eloise daft megamix of horror legends, yey, can i have some more please!! 5 stars
7/19/04 Sylvia TOP GENIAL !!!! 5 stars
7/16/04 Jeff Hu so boring, just can't wait to see it finishes 1 stars
7/13/04 AV! I loved it! Hugh was really good and so was Kate. Plus I love action! 5 stars
6/29/04 Saigo Whoo-hoo! Action! Never mind it totally sucks! It's got action! Yey! 1 stars
6/25/04 M ZZZZzzzzzzzzz.......... 1 stars
6/17/04 WREN Richard Roxburgh is the sexy and looks very lickable 5 stars
6/15/04 earl duron great fun 4 stars
6/11/04 Sarrah kate beckinsale ROCKS. this movie was amzing. best this year. it ROCKED!! 5 stars
6/08/04 Cameron Slick Lacks excitement but great for a nine-year old boy. 3 stars
6/06/04 SF Great film. 5 stars
6/05/04 Alexis Weston It was great, best horror film of the year. 5 stars
6/02/04 Elizabeth Great opening sequence, but quickly becomes redundant. LOUDEST film I've seen in ages. 2 stars
6/02/04 Coolhand Had potential, but don't skimp on a good writer for Pete's sake!!! 3 stars
6/01/04 Martha Well, about 20 flicks in one; all of the old ones done better 1 stars
6/01/04 Obi Wan I hope NBC never makes another Big Budget Big Screen flick again!!! 1 stars
5/28/04 deena I love sci fi, horror, old movies, even b movies, THIS IS THE WORST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN! 1 stars
5/28/04 Art Richardson I thought it was a good movie 4 stars
5/28/04 matt some parts were ok but it felt too long 3 stars
5/28/04 Ash Jordan Amazing, worth seeing more than once, though only to see Dracula! 5 stars
5/28/04 amy buffy the vampire slayer meets touched by an angel 2 stars
5/28/04 Biily Just plain awlful. 1 stars
5/27/04 Van_Yorking Oh geez, words can't describe how awful this movie is. PASS! 1 stars
5/26/04 steven wortham Best monster movie ever because it has all of them in it, 5 stars
5/25/04 Eponine See it for David Wenham's character, Carl. I thought he was hilarious. 4 stars
5/25/04 Nicole While it was totally Hollywood and many scenes were lame and trite and cheesy, I liked it! 4 stars
5/22/04 S F hey i thoroughlyenjoyed it 4 stars
5/22/04 Jack Bourbon Much like a drinking contest where the loser pukes first: only the most bored should do it 2 stars
5/22/04 malcolm pure summer popcorn fun 4 stars
5/22/04 Alan Liddle Not fantastic, but entertaining. 3 stars
5/21/04 alien assassin Rent "Bride of Frankenstein" instead !!! 2 stars
5/21/04 M not much to say........ 2 stars
5/21/04 Not Public mediocre cgi, zero plot/character dev, but you're beaten by action seq without end 2 stars
5/20/04 Katrina I thought the movie was GREAT!!!!!!!!!!! Bring on the sequal! 5 stars
5/20/04 shadowdancer Love Hugh, hate the movie 2 stars
5/20/04 Vinnie I paid $7.50 for this steaming pile of shit? Maybe 4 bucks, but not $7.50!!! 1 stars
5/20/04 linus Exactly what I expected from watching the previews 1 stars
5/19/04 Stephen Spielborg Hey, it's better than anything I've ever done... 1 stars
5/19/04 Idiot's Mouth Good points but oh! Dick! This is old news! So it sucked! What else is new?!? 1 stars
5/18/04 David Birke jjjjjjjj 1 stars
5/17/04 Bingo Rex hunt fishing adventures is more entertaining then this 1 stars
5/17/04 Julie I hate to say it bc I liek H.Jackmanm but what a waste of $100 million. 1 stars
5/17/04 Anne Exactlay what I was expecting from it. 2 stars
5/17/04 AfroFett oooooh lots of CGI! story? what story? 1 stars
5/17/04 othree cheezy greatness, that works, see it if your in the mood for fun, cool spin 2 4 stars
5/16/04 Troy Butler Not as bad as everyone makes it out to be. LYBATD, and you should have an enjoyable time!!! 3 stars
5/16/04 Maximus I tell you what, you give me $15, and I'll scream in your face for 2 hrs. Enjoy this crap. 1 stars
5/16/04 j This has to be the worst movie i have ever seen. 1 stars
5/15/04 Luis Turd 1 stars
5/15/04 Uncle Phucker This has to be one of the worst big budget films ever. Worse than the Mummy Returns. 1 stars
5/13/04 Stephen Petit stop with the edible garbage 1 stars
5/13/04 Owen S A fun comic book ride for the summer 4 stars
5/12/04 Bethanie Cope I like the movie but hated the End 4 stars
5/12/04 Peter A great ride, and amazing affects. Plot is shallow, but all else was entertaining 4 stars
5/12/04 Mike V First half is pretty good but falls apart after that 3 stars
5/12/04 Whatevr The original authors must be rolling around in their graves 1 stars
5/12/04 Mike Appalling, will appeal to 13yr old boys. 1 stars
5/11/04 Jenny Saypaw Fantastic sets, great CGI, cool vampire offspring concept 4 stars
5/11/04 Sam from Quebec This movie sucked, what a waste of my time. 1 stars
5/11/04 Ajax Horrible movie. So much money and they can't have ONE decent action scene. 1 stars
5/10/04 Ripoff Maybe if a stake was driven through Stephen Sommers' heart, he'd stop making shit movies? 1 stars
5/10/04 Beefcake007 So ridiculous I started laughing till I had tears in my eyes. 1 stars
5/10/04 paganchyk Even the soundtrack was overdone! Hysterical, but not intentionally.... 2 stars
5/10/04 Heath It's an action movie full of non-stop action. What more do you want? 4 stars
5/10/04 A F Better than expected yet still average. 3 stars
5/10/04 Vicious I wanted more werewolf, otherwise it's pretty much eye candy 3 stars
5/09/04 Jorge Fragette Don't anyone go see this turd. Keep your money and your dignity! NO SEQUEL FOR YOU! 1 stars
5/09/04 Giant_Cockroach Stunningly bad. To rope swingey. AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE! 1 stars
5/09/04 Paul Melendy Depressingly bad. Zero suspence. 1 stars
5/09/04 PAYNE I hope that the possible sequeal will be at least better than this 4 stars
5/09/04 Tom It's not the Universal monsters I grew up with but it is still fun. 4 stars
5/09/04 Nicholas Walsh This was one of the most retarded movies I have ever had the displeasure of seeing. 1 stars
5/09/04 David Fowler Horror as Porn. Sommers ROUNDLY buggers, rogers, & violates Universal's classic trinity. 1 stars
5/09/04 Gray should have had only one monstr per a movie 3 stars
5/08/04 Shann hope it does well enough to get a sequel but bad enough that they'll fix the mistakes 4 stars
5/08/04 Caravaggio Worst Dracula ever! Roxburg had scariness and sexual allure of a turd. 1 stars
5/08/04 Roy Again retarted? Anyway... nice fx and that's about it. 2 stars
5/08/04 Jeff MacIver This flick is insanely over-the-top, and bloody good fun. Don't listen to the naysayers. 4 stars
5/08/04 Wolf WAY too much reliance on CGI. Needs better direction and more retakes. 2 stars
5/07/04 AfroFett Hey Look! CGI monsters! Pay no attention to the crappy story behind the curtain! 2 stars
5/07/04 M CGI overload!!! 1 stars
5/07/04 NO SEQUEL 4 U I'll pay for something worthwhile then I'll watch this for on Universal, not on my $9!! 1 stars
5/07/04 Margalo God let this bomb so we dont get a sequel 1 stars
5/07/04 Bill Egan The cinematic equivalent of a sugar overload, but without the sweetness & twice the nausea. 1 stars
5/07/04 La Terra as a movie-lover, I dislike the CG-Film but i love this one 5 stars
5/07/04 Yosh No tension, boring as hell, only nice CG 2 stars
5/07/04 BrianWilly Very fun movie, some of the best CGI ever. But ultimately no depth. 4 stars
5/07/04 Brian if they had spent a fraction on decent graphics that they did on marketing... 1 stars
5/06/04 Mikedy Mike Fun movie, an homage to old cheesey monster flicks. 4 stars
5/06/04 Mark Fulwiler Absolutely godawful torture 1 stars
5/05/04 TXN All FX, Little plot, embarassing dialogue 2 stars
5/05/04 john bale No plot no suspense only Jackman killing SFX. Roll over Bram Stoker ! 2 stars
5/05/04 Margalow Saw a screening in NY last week. Dear God, the agony... 1 stars
5/05/04 MrMean Average 3 stars
5/04/04 Harry This movie sucks nuts! 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  07-May-2004 (PG-13)
  DVD: 19-Oct-2004

UK
  N/A

Australia
  05-May-2004




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