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| BITCHSLAP STATS |
| Movies Listed: |
32596 |
| Total Ratings: |
249863 |
| Total Reviews: |
28562 |
![[90196624 Hits]](/cgi-bin/gd.cgi?90196624)
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| OLD GUARD, THE |
"Very Old Adult"
Peter Sobczynski says... "The presence of Charlize Theron in any movie is, of course, an undeniably good thing but when she turns up in an action-oriented project, her combination of genuine dramatic gifts and equally convincing physical abilities can help make an otherwise iffy film into something worth checking out (“Atomic Blonde”) and an already great film into the thing of legends (“Mad Max: Fury Road”). And yet, not even her considerable presence is enough to help save “The Old Guard,” a disappointing banal action extravaganza that takes a potentially interesting premise and then never gets around to doing much of anything with it." (more)
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| GREYHOUND |
"Extremely Loud And Incredibly Distant"
Peter Sobczynski says... "If you were to sit down and try to come up with the quintessential Tom Hanks movie—one that perfectly encapsulated the themes, ideas and attitudes that he has explored over and again in a career that has made him one of the most beloved cultural figures of our time—there is an excellent chance that it might wind up looking a lot like his latest effort, “Greyhound.” As with a number of his past efforts, it looks back at a particular moment in recent American history—World War II, a favorite subject of his, in this case—and tells a story that celebrate such quintessential American values as duty, honor and overcoming doubt and adversity in order to stand up and fight for the greater good and finds him playing a modest and low-key character who would never go so far as to describe himself as a hero but who nevertheless proves to be capable of heroic acts. And yet, despite all of the obvious sincerity on display, the resulting film is kind of a dead bulb that is ultimately as dull as it is noble and boy howdy, is it ever noble." (more)
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| GUEST OF HONOUR |
"Years Of The Lepus"
Peter Sobczynski says... "There was once a period of time—historians may one day refer to it as “the 1990s”—when Canadian-Armenian Atom Egoyan was considered to be one of the most exciting filmmakers on the planet thanks to a series of formally and narratively inventive works that were cerebral and emotional in equal measure and filled with a number of extraordinary performances to boot. If I was to sit down and make a list of the most powerful moviegoing experiences that I had during that time, his back-to-back triumphs “Exotica” (1994) and “The Sweet Hereafter” (1997) would rank very high among them. And yet, following the release of “Felicia’s Journey” in 1999, his career undertook such an immediate dip in quality that even the most dedicated of auteurists would be hard-pressed to justify misfires like “Chloe” (2009), “Devil’s Knot” (2013) and “Remember” (2015), a film that somehow contrived to bring together modern-day Nazi hunting and Alzheimer’s into one jaw-dropping saga. And yet, even those cinematic misdeed pale in comparison to his latest, loopiest and least effort to date, “Guest of Honor.” Here is a film that in the opening scenes offers us the sight of Luke Wilson as the pastor of a Canadian church and it is not the hardest thing to swallow in it and I am not even talking about the deep-fried rabbit ears that inexplicably prove to be a key element." (more)
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| DA 5 BLOODS |
"Lindo owns it."
Rob Gonsalves says... "At this point, I would sit for two hours of Delroy Lindo just monologuing into the camera, and maybe so would you after watching Spike Lee’s epic new adventure-drama 'Da 5 Bloods,' in which there are at least three such monologues." (more)
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| HAMILTON |
"The Living Room Where It Happens"
Peter Sobczynski says... "It should be stressed right at the start that the film version of the extraordinarily successful Broadway musical “Hamilton” that is premiering this weekend amidst enormous hype is not a traditional, fully realized screen adaptation along the lines of “West Side Story” or, God help us, “Cats.” This is more akin to a concert video that consists of footage shot during a couple of 2016 performances featuring the celebrated original cast as well some additional footage of some of the key musical numbers shot later in an empty theater in order to accommodate more elaborate camera moves than would have been possible in front of an actual audience. Originally intended for theatrical release next year to serve as a sort of stopgap measure in anticipation of a full-fledged screen version, it was famously plucked from that berth and, as opposed to practically every other big-ticket movie of note, had its release moved ahead by more than a year as Disney Studios elected to instead debut it on their Disney+ streaming platform, just in time for the Fourth of July weekend, no less. Whether this move should be seen as a noble gesture that allows families to experience the same show that cost hundreds of dollars a ticket to seen on the stage from the comfort of their living rooms for only a few bucks in subscription fees or a hard-sell way of getting people to sign up for the streaming service now that the initial hype has passed, I will leave for you to decide." (more)
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| OUTPOST, THE |
"Nothing But The Truth"
Peter Sobczynski says... "As I am assuming you all know by this point, pretty much every movie that I have covered since around mid-March is one that I have reviewed off of my television or computer from the confines of my lightly fortified bunker. While I would almost always prefer to see a film in a theater as opposed to on a much smaller screen, this adjustment has been relatively easy to make since the big-ticket movies that truly require the full big-screen experience have all been delayed until further notice and the ones that have emerged have not really lost all that much as a result of the diminished size of their presentations. (In the case of a listless clunker like Kenneth Branagh’s disastrous fantasy “Artemis Fowl,” the decision to premiere it via streaming may have saved Disney millions of dollars and an untold amount of embarrassment.) In the case of “The Outpost,” we have the first new movie in several months that clearly needs to be seen on the big screen in order to get the full concussive impact of director Rod Lurie’s attempt to recreate a particular harrowing 2009 battle between US forces and the Taliban in Afghanistan. And yet, the film has been made with such skill and dignity that its impact still manages to come across despite the greatly reduced circumstances under which most people will be experiencing it." (more)
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| AUDITION, THE |
"Not just another troubling teacher/student story."
Jay Seaver says... "The makers of "The Audition" don't exactly hide what's really going on at any point, but it is nevertheless fascinating because it is not, by and large, the teacher/student story that it initially appears to be. That is there but it's just one facet of what's going on, and the one which often seems least important, giving the filmmakers a lot of room to explore the other things which tend to be going on around this type of story" (more)
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| SOMETIMES ALWAYS NEVER |
"Tough to steal scenes at the center of the movie."
Jay Seaver says... "I love Bill Nighy even when he's in an awful movie, in large part because his screen persona is one seemingly built to steal scenes. It leads him to the sort of part that a good actor can give nuance in those brief moments, but there sometimes seems to be a limit to how far those parts can be stretched when placed at a movie's center. "Sometimes Always Never" is the result of stretching that sort of appeal just far enough to not break; it could do more and hit harder, but it seldom makes a genuinely wrong step." (more)
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'IS IT A BAD SIGN WHEN YOU'RE ROOTING FOR THE KILLER?'
- Hawkboy, On 'I Still Know What You Did Last Summer'
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