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| BITCHSLAP STATS |
| Movies Listed: |
32462 |
| Total Ratings: |
249374 |
| Total Reviews: |
28425 |
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| WEATHERING WITH YOU |
"Animation's best keeps it going after a surprise blockbuster."
Jay Seaver says... ""Weathering with You" was quite possibly the most anticipated film to come out of Japan in 2019, director Makoto Shinkai's first film after "Your Name" was a somewhat unexpected (and deserved) smash. It's tricky to talk about what comes next after such a result, especially if the effusive praise you've given to Shinkai's previous films is a click away and your verdict is that "Weathering with You" is "only" almost as good as what it follows. Even if he can't quite surprise audiences with greatness any more, he's still made a heck of a fine movie." (more)
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| LIGHTHOUSE, THE |
"Trippy, man."
Rob Gonsalves says... "Among about 51 other things, 'The Lighthouse' may be Robert Eggers’ idea of a stoner comedy." (more)
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| BAD BOYS FOR LIFE |
"Lots Of Bloody Fools, None Of Them Cool"
Peter Sobczynski says... "Originally conceived as a vehicle for, of all people, Jon Lovitz and Dana Carvey, the 1995 buddy comedy/action thriller hybrid “Bad Boys” was a big hit at the box office and helped to establish both Will Smith and Martin Lawrence as movie stars. That said, other than the fact that Tea Leoni turned up in the cast as well, I must confess that I don’t really recall much about it other than the fact that it was big and loud and made a lot of money. I do have stronger memories of 2003’s “Bad Boys II” but they are all of the kind that one spends years in therapy trying to come to terms with—to this day, that lazy, stupid, super-violent, racist, xenophobic and wildly misogynistic piece of shit remains the second-worst film that I have seen in all my years of moviegoing. Put it this way—if I had to choose between seeing it or a sing-a-long screening of “Cats,” I would go with “Cats” in a heartbeat, if only because its crimes against cinema did not involve leering over naked corpses or third-act invasions of Cuba. Now, for reasons that probably must have seemed like a good idea over at Sony before the dismal returns of their recent attempts to revive the “Men in Black” and “Charlie’s Angels” franchises, “Bad Boys for Life” is upon us and to give it some vague degree of credit, it is at least a little better than its predecessor—admittedly not the most astonishing of accomplishments—and even contains a potentially interesting concept early on in the proceedings. Don’t worry, that idea is quickly abandoned and the film quickly devolves into another smugly self-satisfied mess distinguished by lazy writing, indifferent direction and an orgy of brutality that seems slightly questionable for a film opening on the weekend devoted to celebrating the legacy of Martin Luther King, Jr, whose non-violent approach actually turns up in one of the many lame punchlines on display here." (more)
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| CUNNINGHAM |
"Modern Dance 101 in 3D."
Jay Seaver says... "I wonder what sort of a minority I am in coming to see "Cunningham" for the 3D photography as much as the dance, and how many people who came for the dance were hoping for something a little more in-depth. It's the sort of documentary about an artist and his career that relies heavily on demonstration, and as such seems like a good introduction with an intriguing hook, albeit one whose gimmick will only be briefly available." (more)
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| LIBERATION |
"Not even well-made propaganda."
Jay Seaver says... "Coincidentally arriving in a few American cities the same weekend that "1917" opens wide, "Liberation" suffers from opposing faults. It's busy to the point of frenzy rather than meticulous, rushing through every cheap play for audience sympathy it can with bigger firefights and explosions coming at a rapid pace just in case that's not enough. It's lurid but made to please crowds, even though the filmmakers aren't that great at making the action effective. It's one of the tackier bits of recent myth-making to come from the Chinese movie industry, which is saying something." (more)
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| UNDERWATER |
"The Soggy Bottom Boys, Girls And Things"
Peter Sobczynski says... "“Underwater” is a film that was produced about three years ago, has been on and off the release schedule for a while and is now being dumped into theaters in the dead of January in the hopes of making a few quick bucks while most observers are focused on the unfolding award season. As a result, one might naturally expect the film to be a disaster along the lines of most things that come out around this time. As it turns out, “Underwater” is not nearly as bad as one might expect but it is certainly nothing special either—it is just another knockoff of “Alien” (with a huge helping of “The Abyss” added to the mix) that has been made with just enough flair to keep it from being complete trash but not enough to allow it to work on its own." (more)
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| ADORING |
"May the new year bring you lots of good dogs, cats, and pigs."
Jay Seaver says... ""Adoring" is pretty much exactly the carefully-manufactured crowd-pleaser it looks like, a couple hours of very loyal and smart pets and their owners who dote on each other nearly as much as on them. It is built to have something for everybody and leans hard on its animal co-stars, and is easy enough to dismiss for all that. It's also pretty darn earnest and sometimes just odd enough to catch one by surprise." (more)
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| HONEYLAND |
"Half for the bees, half for us."
Jay Seaver says... ""Honeyland" is a terrific little documentary that works as both great fly-on-the-wall filmmaking and an easily digested parable about sustainable farming. It almost makes one marvel at the filmmakers' good fortune, because it seems like they started with an idea for a good short and had an even better feature appear, and they shaped it to near-perfection." (more)
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EFILMCRITIC'S 15TH OSCAR PICK 'EM
by Erik Childress |
| "IT'S BACK, Ladies & Gentlemen! "THE GREATEST OSCAR CONTEST EVER!" We take a lot of pride in this contest as its just one of the many things we can offer our readers and supporters for coming back and spreading the word about us. This year we are doing things just a tad differently though. We are using it to raise money for children's healthcare." (more) |
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'BRAD PITT MAY BE THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE, BUT A MONOSYLLABIC WEIRDO WHO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO KISS ONLY HAS SO MUCH APPEAL.'
- Hawkboy, On "Meet Joe Black"
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