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| BITCHSLAP STATS |
| Movies Listed: |
14308 |
| Total Ratings: |
225444 |
| Total Reviews: |
28691 |
![[97656170 Hits]](/cgi-bin/gd.cgi?97656170)
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| COPSHOP |
"Has Alexis Louder and not much else between bursts of gunfire."
Jay Seaver says... "It may be the second-most predictable thing in the movie world that Joe Carnahan would try to set a North American record for the most Chekhov's Guns in a movie; the second one appears about a minute after he opens the film with a shot of the first, and he spends a fair amount of the early portion of the film making sure that the audience can see that there are not just a lot of weapons here, but a lot of specific weapons. The first-most predictable thing, of course, is that his cast will eventually discharge those firearms as much as possible. In between… Well, he could do a bit better with the bits in between." (more)
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| DEAR EVAN HANSEN |
"The Perks Of Being A Creepy Old Wallflower"
Peter Sobczynski says... "While watching “Dear Evan Hansen,” the screen version of the celebrated Broadway musical that won a gaggle of Tonys a few years ago and proved to be especially popular among audiences younger than those typically found frequenting the Great White Way, I became convinced that I was experiencing one of the most wretched and utterly misbegotten films—certainly of that genre—to come along since the arrival of “Cats” a couple of years ago. In fact, I almost hesitated to make such a comparison on the basis that I thought that it might be a little too unfair to “Cats.” Don’t get me wrong—that was a bottomlessly terrible movie as well and not even my admiration for Taylor Swift is enough to inspire any revisionist thinking regarding its numerous crimes against cinema. That said, while “Cats” was an example of kitsch gone extraordinarily wrong, it did so in such transcendently goofy ways that you couldn’t even get that mad at it and it did evoke a strange fascination as it went on that held your attention, even if it was just to see how much weirder it could possibly get. (Answer—a lot.) “Dear Evan Hansen,” on the other hand, is an ostensibly far more serious show dealing with important real-life themes but it handles them in such graceless and cringe-inducing ways that not only does it never work for a second, it left me wondering what audiences and Tony voters could have possibly been thinking when they venerated it in the first place." (more)
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| BEHEMOTH |
"An empty calling card."
Rob Gonsalves says... "Peter Szewczyk (credited here as Sefchik) is a digital-effects artist who has worked on a few "Star Wars" films and "Avatar." So in his feature directing debut "Behemoth," we know the monsters and other effects will be first-rate. Unfortunately, everything else in this underpopulated mash-up of paranoid corporate thriller and trippy supernatural horror is second-rate at best." (more)
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| VAL |
"A painfully fine portrait."
Rob Gonsalves says... "Not long before the lights go down on the raw and somewhat depressing videography "Val," its subject, Val Kilmer, in character as Mark Twain, offers a question — perhaps, for him, *the* question: “What are the words that heal a broken heart?”" (more)
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| KATE |
"Same old same old."
Rob Gonsalves says... "Slicker than goose shit, Netflix’s #1 trending new film "Kate" is stylishly brutal and will probably be praised in some quarters accordingly, but it leaves us wanting more." (more)
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| LANGUAGE LESSONS |
"Funny, timely, and earnest."
Jay Seaver says... "I did not realize, going in, that "Language Lessons" was a movie that plays out on the characters' computer screens, and while there will probably a few more of those than usual coming out over the coming months,this one seems like it might wind up more than just a time capsule of the present moment. Even when the credits are rolling, it's not obvious whether this was specifically created to be a quarantine movie or not; odds are it's an influence, but it's good enough to stick even for those who don't want any reminders of what life is like now." (more)
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| SMALL ENGINE REPAIR |
"The play you write for yourself becomes a movie that showcase your co-stars"
Jay Seaver says... "Buried at the very end of the credits of this film is that it was adapted from writer/director/star John Pollono's play of the same name, and though it doesn't appear to have been a one-act play, it's got the feel of something where he started from a well-constructed second half and worked backward. He does it well enough that he's not just killing time and padding the movie, but there's certainly something more potent to be distilled from this fairly decent movie." (more)
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| NIGHT HOUSE, THE |
"A thriller that knows what to do with its angry grief."
Jay Seaver says... ""The Night House" is the sort of smart genre movie that I start to get worried about in the middle; I've been burned often enough by supernatural thrillers that are willing to sacrifice the themes that make them resonate in order to get one more scare or twist. This one definitely gives off that vibe at times, sometimes sinking a little too deep into its mythology for its own good, but ultimately the folks involved do want there to be something more to their scares than just making a viewer jump." (more)
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A LOOK BACK AT TIFF21
by Peter Sobczynski |
| "Here is an overview of a number of the films that I saw that were presented at this year's hybrid edition of the Toronto International Film Festival" (more) |
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FILMS I NEGLECTED TO REVIEW: GRANDDADDY'S HOME
by Peter Sobczynski |
| "Please enjoy short reviews of "Best Sellers," "Copshop," "Cry Macho," "Cryptozoo," "Lady of the Manor," "Live at Mister Kelly's," "The Nowhere Inn" and "Prisoners of the Ghostland."" (more) |
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'I WANT TO GO ON RECORD RIGHT NOW, THAT THIS IS THE MOST STUPID, DIMWITTED, IDIOTIC, MORONIC PIECE OF PUTRIFIED GARBAGE THAT I HAVE EVER IN MY ENTIRE PROFESSIONAL CAREER, EVER HAD THE DISPLEASURE OF BEING INVOLVED WITH.'
- Chris Lecce, Another Stakeout
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