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When a Critic Classically Skewers an Actor

 
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Jack Sommersby
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Joined: 12 Dec 2002
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2003 6:59 pm    Post subject: When a Critic Classically Skewers an Actor Reply with quote

Any of ya'll have any favorite critic quotes which skewered an actor like a branding iron. I came across this first one by going through some old publications, and I'm still laughing my ass off over it. I'll include some snippets from other critics I've retained, and ya'll join on in with yours.

Armond White rags on Tom Cruise in Eyes Wide Shut:

-- "That Tom Cruise could have commanded center ring of today’s insipid cinema circus is proof that something is terribly wrong with film culture. Kubrick (apparently attempting to ensure Warner Bros.’ investment) couldn’t see what’s wrong with Cruise. And had Kubrick never seen Short Cuts! Last Tango in Paris! Or a Madonna video! (Kidman watches tv clips of Paul Mazursky’s Blume in Love, a wack irony.) The movie is so ponderous you can’t help but question its premise. And the thought of Kubrick doing innumerable takes with Cruise is hilarious. Apparently no one on set whispered to the nerd-genius, "Stan, Tom doesn’t get any better." --

Pauline Kael on Kevin Costner in Dances With Wolves:

-- "Costner has feathers in his hair -- and feathers in his head." --

-- "The Indians call him 'Dances With Wolves'; they should have called him 'Plays With Camera'" --

Rex Reed on Sly Stallone in Cobra:

-- "Stallone drives up to the crime scene in a car with a license plate that reads 'AWESOM 50'. I don't know if the 50 stands for his age or IQ." --
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y2mckay
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2003 7:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

White's quote was pretty decent. Kael and Reed's were rather bland and generic potshots, though.
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Slyder
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2003 11:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

try more "local quotes" for example, Oz's really smashes actors in Celtic Pride, Romeo Must Die, Mimic, and several others.
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