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Best Movie Monologues.
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MP Bartley
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 11:45 am    Post subject: Best Movie Monologues. Reply with quote

As suggested by Rob Wink

I'll throw in Dennis Hopper's Sicilians speech from True Romance, Phoebe Cates explaining why she doesn't like Christmas in Gremlins and Donald Sutherland outlining the conspiracy in JFK.
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Alex Paquin
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 12:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Network. Period.
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Kand El
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 12:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quint's Indianapolis speech in Jaws
Alec Baldwin's speech in Glengarry Glenross
Malone's gun/knife speech in The Untouchables
Kathy Bates' cliffhanger speech in Misery
Hannibal Lecter's psychological profile of Clarice Silence of the Lambs
William Muny's speech to the town in Unforgiven
Marv's definition of Hell in Sin City
Jor El's speech to baby Kal El in Superman

that's all off the top of my head.
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MP Bartley
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 12:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Malone's gun/knife speech in The Untouchables


See, now here's where I get picky mate...

As much as I love The Untouchables and that quote (probably my favourite piece of dialogue ever), is it really long enough to count as a monologue?
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Kand El
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 1:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, its a dicey thing- Marv's also isn't altogether lengthy- but is it quality or quantity that wins the day? Malone's advice to the group on the Canadian border is also wonderful but its choppy and broken by dialogue. If you want him off, I can't say as I'd be too disappointed.
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David Cornelius
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 2:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The President's phone call in Dr. Strangelove.
Anthony Michael Hall talks about the elephant lamp in The Breakfast Club.
The opening narration in The Apartment.
The "Keep watching the skies!" speech in The Thing from Another World.
Belushi's "Over?" rally in Animal House.
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 2:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jack Nicholson's critique of women after getting blown into the church in "The Witches of Eastwick"
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Kand El
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 2:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jack Nicholson's Critique of women in his "Ballbusters on Parade" monologue of "Carnal Knowledge".
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Rob Gonsalves
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 4:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

- Eric Idle in the "Travel Agent" sketch in Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl

- Woody Harrelson's jailhouse rant for Robert Downey Jr's cameras in Natural Born Killers

- Tim Roth's restroom encounter in Reservoir Dogs -- a true monologue that we see being worked on at every stage up until the actual "showtime" in front of Joe Cabot and the gang

- Edward Norton's venom-spewing into the mirror in 25th Hour

- Amerigo Bonasera telling his daughter's sad story to Don Vito (I can't believe nobody's cited that one yet)

- Ben Kingsley at the end of Death and the Maiden

- Rosie O'Donnell (yes, her) dissing male obsession with supermodels in Beautiful Girls

- Al Pacino's statement in Dog Day Afternoon, which is absolutely brilliant writing, as the whole film also is. "I leave you the rest of the policy and my stamp collection" is simultaneously hilarious and devastatingly sad. This just makes me want to pop in the disc again; the flick really is one of the high-water marks of '70s Hollywood.

- Matthew Shepard's father explains why he wants his son's killers to live in The Laramie Project (taken from Dennis Shepard's actual courtroom statement damn, the man was a poet)

And Matt ought to like this bonus one from a Britcom Steve's "Lesbian Spank Inferno" rationalization from Coupling.
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Rob Gonsalves
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 5:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kand El wrote:
William Muny's speech to the town in Unforgiven


Oh, fuck, that movie's full of great stuff:

I guess you think I'm kicking you, Bob. But it ain't so. What I'm doing is talking, you hear? I'm talking to all those villains down there in Kansas. I'm talking to all those villains in Missouri. And all those villains down there in Cheyenne. And what I'm saying is there ain't no whore's gold. And if there was, how they wouldn't want to come looking for it anyhow.

Bob walked right into the bar and shot at Corky, only he misses, 'cause he was so damn drunk he couldn't see straight. Old Corky went for his gun and got in such a hurry that he shot his own toe off. Bob shot at Corky again, and he misses again, because he's still so damn drunk. He hits this thousand-dollar mirror over the bar. And now, the Duck of Death is as good as dead. Because this time, Corky does it right. He takes careful aim, slowly squeezes the trigger, and... BAM! That Walker Colt he was carrying blew up in his hand, a failing common to that model. See, what I'm trying to tell you is if Corky really had two guns instead of a big dick, he'd be alive today.

I ain't like that no more. I ain't the same, Ned. Claudia, she straightened me up, cleared me of drinkin' whiskey and all. Just 'cause we're goin' on this killing, that don't mean I'm gonna go back to bein' the way I was. I just need the money, get a new start for them youngsters. Ned, you remember that drover I shot through the mouth and his teeth came out the back of his head? I think about him now and again. He didn't do anything to deserve to get shot, at least nothin' I could remember when I sobered up.

And this isn't a monologue, but the end crawl always gets me:

Some years later, Mrs. Ansonia Feathers made the arduous journey to Hodgeman County to visit the last resting place of her only daughter. William Munny had long since disappeared with the children... some said to San Francisco where it was rumored he prospered in dry goods. And there was nothing on the marker to explain to Mrs. Feathers why her only daughter had married a known thief and murderer, a man of notoriously vicious and intemperate disposition.

That's fucking poetry, man. Seriously. David Webb Peoples is a god just for those three sentences.
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MP Bartley
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 1:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
And Matt ought to like this bonus one from a Britcom Steve's "Lesbian Spank Inferno" rationalization from Coupling.


Ah, Coupling is full of good stuff...

Quote:
The President's phone call in Dr. Strangelove
- funniest scene ever. "He went and did a funny thing...well, I'll tell you what he did"

Quote:
but is it quality or quantity that wins the day?


True dat. Damn it, I love the speech too much to get too angry at it!

Some more:

Virginia Madsen explains just why she loves wine - Sideways

Christopher Walken and the watch - Pulp Fiction

John Houseman tells a mean ghost story - The Fog

Sean Pertwee then tries to top it by a campfire - Dog Soldiers

Kevin Spacey tells us about Keyser Soze - The Usual Suspects
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f*r*o*s*t*y
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 3:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rob Gonsalves wrote:
- Rosie O'Donnell (yes, her) dissing male obsession with supermodels in Beautiful Girls


I just watched this (again) a couple weeks ago and I thought, "It's such a shame Rosie's so batshit insane, because she has done some good stuff as an actress." That speech (and the following "Nice tits." "Great ass." never fail to make me laugh) is funny as hell, yet slightly depressing at the same time. haha.
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MP Bartley
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 3:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Diane utterly destroys Ewan McGregor's pathetic pick-up line in Trainspotting. That scene makes me shrivel up and die inside, because that is EXACTLY how a lot of men think.
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Boris



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PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 5:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rob Gonsalves wrote:
And Matt ought to like this bonus one from a Britcom Steve's "Lesbian Spank Inferno" rationalization from Coupling.


Pure genius. As soon as I saw this thread I thought of that one, even though it's not from a movie. Legend.
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David Cornelius
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 12:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

MP Bartley wrote:
John Houseman tells a mean ghost story - The Fog


And then he did it again in Ghost Story.
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CharlesTatum



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PostPosted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 1:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I also want to add George C. Scott's prayer in "Dr. Strangelove." Being an Air Force Brat, Scott's portrayal was hilarious and eerily familiar.
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MP Bartley
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 01, 2007 10:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

*bump*

Rick Ducommon relating the story of psychopath Skip to Corey Feldman and Tom Hanks in The 'burbs.

"With an...ice pick"

El Snappo!
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 01, 2007 12:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I still love Agent Smith's soliloquy to a drugged Morpheus in The Matrix. I think it's 50% writing and 50% delivery.

...I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can't stand it any longer. It's the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink and every time I do, I fear that I've somehow been infected by it...
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Jack Sommersby
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 2:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jack Nicholson's chicken-salad-sandwich order to the rude waitress in Five Easy Pieces so he can get his toast.
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petersob
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 02, 2007 8:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

RIchard Pryor Live on the Sunset Strip"
"Swimming to Cambodia"
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 30, 2007 2:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

American Beauty
Ricky (v.o. while video of a bag in the wind plays)
"...Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it..."


Shawshank Redemption
Red, finally on the outside
"...Forty years I've been asking permission to piss. I can't squeeze a drop without say-so..."


Forrest Gump
Forrest remembering Jenny's homelife sturggles when they were children
"...Sometimes I guess there just aren't enough rocks..."
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blemschock



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PostPosted: Sun Oct 07, 2007 5:34 pm    Post subject: Best Movie Monologues Reply with quote

Pardon me if I didn't notice this one in the list:

Tom Waits/Grand Central Station in The Fisher King
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UDM
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 08, 2007 7:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

For no rational reason, I love the opening voiceover monologue to Russ Meyer's Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to violence..."

Oh, look, somebody put it on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KXzoA428xc

UDM
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smrtpants



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PostPosted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 12:36 am    Post subject: (hope not dull duplicate) Reply with quote

magnolia

narrator throughout
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smrtpants



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PostPosted: Sat Oct 20, 2007 11:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

are you talkin' to me .?.
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