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Overall Rating

Awesome: 20.16%
Worth A Look: 10.08%
Just Average: 9.3%
Pretty Crappy: 5.43%

3 reviews, 111 user ratings

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White Chicks
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by Scott Weinberg

"Haw haw haw! Those Wayanses sure do hate whitey! It's just hilarious!"
1 stars

Imagine a movie in which Matthew Lillard and Freddie Prinze are required to dress up like big-bootied, jive-talkin', neck-shakin' Ghetto Girlz. They'd get into all sorts of inner-city escapades as they avoid crack dealers and liquor store bandits, all while muttering lines like "NUH - UH, SUGA!" and "You GO, Soul Sista!" The happy ending would arrive when the Ghetto Girlz finally make it to the welfare office, get their checks, and go on a shopping binge for fake fingernails and 40s of Colt 45!! What's that? That's shamelessly racist and not at all funny?? I couldn't agree more.


Words fail me.

Generally I just sit down and a movie review can sort of pour out of me. In really extreme cases (like when a movie is really excellent or truly nauseating) the process is impeded by long bouts of contemplation, but there's never any sort of writer's block or anything.

I sit here now...completely constipated. I simply don't have the words to describe how woefully inept, painfully stupid and irretrievably amateurish this film is. It looks like something slapped together by a bunch of teenagers over one drunk weekend. Were it not for the resounding box office success of the first two Scary Movie flicks, this screenplay would now be a pile of ashes in some Hollywood crematorium.

I've got nothing personal against the Wayanses. All seventeen of 'em can be quite funny in certain situations. If only the Wayanses were as funny as they so clearly think they are; then we'd really have something!

The latest offering from Wayans A, B and D (Keenen, Shawn and Marlon) is a stunningly atrocious comedy entitled White Chicks. The title tells you all you need know about the film, but doesn't come close to explaining how smug, hateful, annoying and pathetic the movie actually is.

Dusting off the single most desperate piece of comedy schtick known to mankind (that'd be "cross-dressing"!), the Wayanses trudge through this mindlessly flaccid farce with a snide and perpetually off-putting sneer. If the idea of two slang-slingin' black fellas who dress up as spoiled socialite white chicks sounds like something innately hilarious or particularly creative, then by all means make an immediate pilgrimage to the closest multiplex. But if you're among the millions who've already seen the TV ads for this racist piece of flotsam, you already know how horrible this movie is.

So basically we got two black guys who pose as white girls. Sometimes the black guys forget they're posing as white woman and they spew that oh-so-clever street jargon in a deep, male voice. Imagine the faces of the passers-by when this happens! A black man's voice coming out of something that looks like a melted vanilla candle! Oh my sides. If that didn't slay you, get this: Black people dance good! White people have no rhythm! And they lack proper booties! And they're really stupid, too!

Since a movie needs to be about 80 minutes long these days, the Wayanses branch out to include all sorts of hilarious stuff. When the "we're black guys making fun of whitey, so it's OK" material starts to run dry, we get snippets of bestiality humor, tons of LOUD FART humor, and liberal sprinklings of scenes in which people fall down or chew their toenails in swanky restaurants.

The movie started off with an abysmal concept, and did absolutely nothing to improve upon it. The two Wayanses in front of the camera are ever-mugging and perpetually keening morons. With a pair of gifted comedians, this dreck could almost fly; with these two self-congratulating ciphers onscreen for 80+ minutes...it's the stuff of nightmares. The Wayans behind the camera (Keenen, for those keeping score) displays a directorial sense that could best be described as, well, awful. The whole movie looks and feels like a feature-length TV pilot - one that everyone involved knows will never be picked up by the network.

Take the most base and sniggering segments of Bringing Down the House, Marci X and the complete works of Mr. Martin Lawrence ...and then somewhow amplify the awfulness by about 900 degrees. Then you'll have a near-idea of how reprehensible this shambles of a movie actually is.

Clearly created with the intention of discovering a whole new sublevel beneath Lowest Common Denominator, "White Chicks" is easily one of the worst "comedies" I've ever seen. As a farce, it's flat and painful to behold. As some kind of "satire on the race barrier"... puh-leeze. That's bullshit spewed in publicity material; a smoke-screen for a movie that revels in the most basic and vile racial steretypes imaginable.

link directly to this review at https://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=10110&reviewer=128
originally posted: 06/23/04 11:06:03
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User Comments

8/13/16 David Hollingsworth No, absolutely not! 1 stars
4/12/14 FireWithFire I100% proof that Hollywood only hates WHITES, that Blacks are MORE RACIST than us 1 stars
10/10/13 Charles Tatum Laughless, with creepy make-up effects to boot 1 stars
1/10/13 Martel732 Dear FX Network: STOP PLAYING THIS RACIST,ANTI-WHITE, PIECE OF SHIT!!!! 1 stars
7/15/12 Dopey McDope this movie's great for nights in when you just want to laugh out loud...cwazy! 4 stars
2/01/10 JJ Okocha Very funny, saw it many times! 5 stars
12/14/09 Phineas But I'm sure black racists love every second of it.Paul Mooney must've ghost written it. 1 stars
1/09/09 Samantha Pruitt pretty bad, but still a funny movie! wayans are always ridiculous! 3 stars
11/21/08 Shaun Wallner Hilarious Movie! 5 stars
3/04/08 ladavies Shawn and Marlon were not funny. But Crews was the movies highlight. 3 stars
11/27/07 mike people need to get off their high horses. this was some funny shit! 5 stars
11/14/07 Dani It was by far the best movie ever. How cant a person just sit back and laugh hysterically? 5 stars
10/25/07 scbyfn4evr this movie is just racist, it's a double standard that this movie can even exist. 1 stars
6/13/07 Monica Funny shit. If a white man made this movie about a black chick. IT would be fucking funny. 4 stars
6/08/07 Danielle Ophelia Forget the Baldwins...Canada really ought to bomb the Wayanses. 1 stars
9/28/06 Jaz Hamilton this reveiwer goes on about black on white racism, but its like he hates black people! 4 stars
9/11/06 Eden You'll have more fun pouring acid into your eyes. Total crap just isnt low enough 1 stars
8/25/06 Nanni I love this movie, and Marcus, He is HOTT!!!! 5 stars
8/19/06 Beau A hilarious movie, a job well done by the wayans brothers 4 stars
7/30/06 Scotty I, unfortunately, saw this for free; what were they thinking?! 1 stars
7/17/06 ES Unsure how well the two 'girls' would be able to trick their real friends, Not really funny 2 stars
7/13/06 Stanley Thai It's a hilarious movie. Not bad at all. Some people just don't have a sense of humor. 4 stars
7/11/06 David Cohen Wayans, you used to be so funny, what happened to you? 1 stars
4/03/06 adrian Hilarious, some kornyness, but mostly hilarious! 5 stars
4/01/06 JRE if you want good black jokes, watch Chappelle. this sucks 1 stars
3/21/06 katie the best ever v funny 5 stars
3/20/06 Erin AWSOMELY FUNNY/ BF 5 stars
3/11/06 Chris Wilbik Turned it off after 15 minutes was awful. Did finally watch the whole thing, sorry I did. 1 stars
1/15/06 JM Synth Not exactly proud of this, but I laughed a fair bit 4 stars
11/14/05 Sugarfoot I don't know how to say this but..It's even worse than the Wayons movie Glimmer Man! 1 stars
10/30/05 mum absolutely crap 1 stars
9/20/05 Jonathon Holmes shameless sterotyping for laughs, insulting to the audience 1 stars
9/11/05 Total Crap Not FUNNY at all. It has fart jokes and unfunny racist humor. And I LOVE Racist Humor. 1 stars
9/10/05 sarah amazingly funny 5 stars
6/23/05 Weltner This & "Bringin down the House",most racist,anti-White movies of 2004.God bless Hollywood!! 1 stars
6/06/05 Mitch You dumbass Latrell is a basketball player not football try again 5 stars
6/04/05 Denise Gannon i'm waiting for the sequel... BLACK DUDES starring Paris & Nicole. 1 stars
6/01/05 Chris I don't know why,but sometimes the thought of men dressing up as women freaks me out! 3 stars
3/04/05 Carolyn Rathburn It was ok, I wouldn't go see it again 3 stars
3/04/05 Chris Stephens Couldn't make a worse movie if they tried 1 stars
2/26/05 Charlene Javier If not for the Wayans... 3 stars
2/25/05 Darlene Wright Crazy movie 3 stars
2/25/05 Denise funny 3 stars
2/25/05 Theresa Wagner Not what I expected 3 stars
2/24/05 ELI I think I laughed once... They look creepy. 2 stars
1/28/05 Carol Kelly I watched this movie at the dentist. The drilling was more pleasant. 1 stars
12/24/04 Freddy they look nothing like the real white chicks but still somewhat funny 3 stars
11/24/04 ricci ntihn 4 stars
11/22/04 Ed Wood, Jr. Quite possibly one of the most ham-handed, puerile, unfunny cinematic abominations ever. 1 stars
11/22/04 justin funniest movie 5 stars
11/21/04 Bell Girl Only morons and half wits would laugh at this trash. Someone put those Wayon brothers down 1 stars
11/14/04 Monster W. Kung *VOMIT* 1 stars
11/13/04 Gemma Some real funny moments! 4 stars
11/12/04 ainsley H -i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s 5 stars
11/04/04 Raine The ONLY funny scene was Latrell (Crews) singing "A Thousand Miles" - side splitting 2 stars
11/02/04 WatsUp Critics get too serious sometimes. We enjoyed the good laugh, although disgusting at times 4 stars
10/29/04 keith its so good, i'v seen it 4 times and i dont mind seeing it again! 5 stars
10/24/04 Tyrantis Enjoying this movie is like enjoying a Ku Klux Klan march. IT'S RACIST YOU MORONS! 1 stars
10/20/04 Danielle White Chicks was one of the funniest movies I've seen in a long time. It was great! 5 stars
10/14/04 Deadshot Racist peice of crap movie, the western world has become a complete shithole. 1 stars
8/26/04 M Tedious but funny. 3 stars
8/26/04 Ammie Wright I really enjoyed it, it was funny. 5 stars
8/21/04 T Lucier This is a totally laughable comedy that is not meant to be examined too closely. FUNNY! 4 stars
8/06/04 Jason you could tell they were black even with the makeup, it looked like powder shit haha 1 stars
8/06/04 Nikolai Hey let's put black guys in that Vanilla Sky mask to do white-face! Get it? White-face !! 1 stars
8/03/04 Uncle Salty Beyond horseshit. Anyone telling you otherwise is lying. 1 stars
8/02/04 Anthony G you have to be the dumbest fuck in the world if you fall for there bullshit makeup 1 stars
7/27/04 phillip sucks so bad light can not escape 1 stars
7/23/04 Sandy Turynowicz I laughed so hard my eyes were watering! 5 stars
7/19/04 terrance Boring.. you can tell that they were men anyway a waste of good film and a waste of my time 1 stars
7/17/04 Andrew Russell It was an enjoyable film, u cant critise it 4 being unrealistic,was nvr intend 2 b that way 4 stars
7/15/04 S.F Just plain funny in bits. 3 stars
7/14/04 Warren This is the best comedy movie Made since Theres' Something About Mary, Awesome! 5 stars
7/13/04 The More You Know White guys would never walk a mile in a sista's shoes...still doesn't excuse this crap. 2 stars
7/10/04 martin Smith It's both dumb and funny 4 stars
7/07/04 Denise Duspiva some funny moments 3 stars
7/07/04 TWizzle May have been offensive, and crude, but yet still funny as hell. 5 stars
7/06/04 Johnboy dodgeball is a better choice 2 stars
7/06/04 Jennifer This movie was a F+. Very lame comedy at its best!! 1 stars
7/05/04 hispanic mami IT WAS FUNNY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
7/05/04 Talonsoft oh my god what was worse, the makeup, the plot, the "humor"? it was OFFENSIVE 1 stars
7/04/04 Jeff Semlow Please no more Wayans Brother movies! 1 stars
7/03/04 Beyonce209 That Movie was Hilarious! You obviously dont have a sense of Humor! 5 stars
7/03/04 asina I want to make a movie called "Black Chicks", about 2 guys who pretend they're black 1 stars
7/02/04 kpham Oprah Plugging this Movie! If it was named Black Chicks shed call in Jesse Jackson! 1 stars
7/02/04 djacosta Racist piece of shit 1 stars
7/01/04 Lissy I think White Chicks is one of the best and funniest movies i have ever seen. 5 stars
7/01/04 Johnson I liked the movie 5 stars
6/29/04 P Hizzy This movie had me laughing my ass off the whole way through. 5 stars
6/28/04 The Talking Elbow Holy fucking shit people, this is #2 in the box office and people LIKED it. 1 stars
6/28/04 Shylers IT WAS AWSOME 5 stars
6/27/04 StarGzrLilyChk This is flat out thee worst movie I have ever seen 1 stars
6/26/04 Al Johnson Laughed so hard I snorted 5 stars
6/25/04 Wildcarde1 I seen it for fre and i still asked for my money back, an insult to proud african americans 1 stars
6/25/04 John Big pile of cowflop. Moo-moo-moo! 1 stars
6/25/04 Stephen Spielborg It's better than "A.I." 1 stars
6/24/04 Gray better than moores shit but still shit 1 stars
6/24/04 Goad The wayans bros. are the Ed Wood of comedy movies.Every single one of them. 1 stars
6/24/04 Jenny from da block What if 2 white dudes dressed up as 2 black chicks? 1 stars
6/24/04 Brian Who didn't see this crap coming? 1 stars
6/24/04 Help! My Brain Is Still Turned Off! I must contribute my low vote to this total shit movie. 1 stars
6/23/04 melanie They are done, pissed off all white girls 2 stars
6/23/04 MalkNtnt It would be racist if it were two white guys in blackface with a title like: Black Bitches! 1 stars
6/23/04 You've been served That dance seen was good. I love that Tricky song. 2 stars
6/23/04 Neil Couldn't agree more, I also hate the Scary Movie series. 1 stars
6/23/04 chicodude If you pay money to see this movie, you deserve whateve happens to you. 1 stars
6/22/04 Kevin I actually was suprised to say it made me laugh alot for such low humor. Not too bad 4 stars
6/18/04 Ray Horrible 1 stars
6/17/04 Ken You have GOT to be fucking kidding me. 1 stars
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  23-Jun-2004 (PG-13)
  DVD: 26-Oct-2004



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