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Overall Rating
2.75

Awesome: 6.82%
Worth A Look: 15.15%
Just Average34.09%
Pretty Crappy34.09%
Sucks: 9.85%

12 reviews, 60 user ratings


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Ocean's Twelve
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by Robert Flaxman

"Too many boats on the Ocean."
2 stars

Itís always refreshing when movies with open endings leave them that way. An audience is perfectly capable of coming up with their own next chapters if they so choose, and so few sequels are comparable to the original films that it doesnít seem worth the trouble. Of course, money talks in Hollywood, and so Oceanís Eleven, which made $450 million worldwide three years ago, saw its cast and crew reunite for a sequel Ė and oh boy, should they ever have skipped it.

Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia), whose casinos were robbed in the first film, has just received a tip that definitively connects each member of Danny Ocean (George Clooney)ís gang to the heist. He insists they pay the money back, with interest. Too high-profile to run a job in the States, the gang makes its way to Amsterdam on the advice of Rusty (Brad Pitt), only to find that his ex-girlfriend, an INTERPOL agent named Isabel (Catherine Zeta-Jones), is also there and on to them.

Aside from a rather dire sequence in which we are forced to see every single member of the gang receive Benedictís message as though someone were calling roll, Oceanís Twelve starts promisingly enough. Just like the first movie, the gang is scouting possible heists and making wisecracks. So far, so good.

As soon as they attempt their first job only to find they have been beaten there by a master thief named the Night Fox (Vincent Cassel), however, things begin to fall apart under the weight of a dozen plot twists. Soderbergh and writer George Nolfi pull things in several different directions at once before piling one deus ex machina on top of another at the end of the film, evidently failing to realize that mysteries really arenít fun when their endings canít possibly be guessed.

The first film was star friends having fun in a movie setting. For this one it just seems like they cared about hanging out, and actually shooting a film was secondary. None of the characters are as fun as they are in the first film Ė Ted Griffinís dialogue is sorely missed, as Nolfiís script just feels like a pale imitation. It has its moments, but by and large it seems to be trying way too hard to be clever and mysterious, failing on both counts.

At one point there is a subplot in which the character of Tess, played by Julia Roberts, is called upon to provide a distraction by Ė get ready for this one Ė pretending to be Julia Roberts. It is almost unfathomably stupid. Did Soderbergh think he was doing a combined sequel to both Oceanís Eleven and the Hollywood-meta-film Full Frontal? Worse still, characters then comment on how Roberts doesnít look that much like herself, and Bruce Willis has a cameo that calls for everyone to tell him how they knew his character in The Sixth Sense was actually dead. With a setup like this, itís amazing that no one congratulated Roberts on her great performance in Oceanís Eleven. I guess causing a rip in the fabric of space-time was just one step farther than Soderbergh was willing to take that device.

Thatís just one of the many plot twists, all of which build up for most of the film before collapsing in a heap with only a few minutes to go. The film ends up as a parlor trick Ė at first entertaining, then tiresome when it tries too hard, and finally irritating when you realize that a lot of what youíve seen was just smoke and mirrors. The first film had the latter problem to a very slight degree, but its execution and explanations were fun enough to get it off the hook. Itís much easier to suspend disbelief when youíre having fun; when Oceanís Twelve loses that, fairly early on, it exposes the plot to an analysis under which it crumbles.

For example, every character is impossibly well-connected and well-informed, to the point that it just becomes ridiculous Ė and whatís more, weíre expected to take every last bit of unlikely knowledge on faith. No thanks. Iíd prefer a movie that had enough brains to explain itself.

Barely trying at all and yet simultaneously trying way too hard, Oceanís Twelve is no match for its predecessor, try though it might to look and sound the same. With a plot thatís too convoluted by half and no fun to unravel, all weíre left with is some empty style and a bunch of inside jokes. Itís sure to be a big hit at Soderberghís next Christmas party, but thereís no real reason for anyone else to bother.

link directly to this review at https://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=11326&reviewer=385
originally posted: 06/21/05 19:54:20
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User Comments

6/09/10 Serge I think it was just a filler between 11 and 13 3 stars
3/28/08 Renzo Sucks! 1 stars
6/05/07 gr117 Great soundtrack & location shots- too bad the "plot" sucked 2 stars
3/16/07 Donny M Julia Roberts Scene Stupid 3 stars
1/23/07 Matt Thirteen Oceans of unadulterated crap. Gave up after 30 mins. 1 stars
11/30/06 Candice I love this movie. 5 stars
9/12/06 Agent Sands You have to be a hardcore fan of heist movies to really enjoy it the way I do! What a ride! 5 stars
7/24/06 Sully tripe. Damon was great, everyone else was boring. ending was ridiculous! 1 stars
7/07/06 CTT The cast definitely has a better time than the audience 3 stars
5/06/06 Charlene Javier Not as bad as everyone says it is... 3 stars
2/15/06 Indrid Cold Much of the chemistry and laughs of the first one, plot somewhat weaker though. 4 stars
11/24/05 Jacques the Man Actually, this is the most entertaining film I've seen all year. 5 stars
8/27/05 Lisa Brady terribly unbelievable 2 stars
7/31/05 Beth Kerrick Was disappointed it wasn't as good as the original. Not bad, but not great. 3 stars
7/13/05 Matthew Rudawsky Julia Roberts as herself was clever, but I wouldn't bother seeing the rest a 2nd time 3 stars
6/28/05 chimera Uninspired disaster 1 stars
6/24/05 Mr Fluffy Script not as tight as Eleven but directorially it's still up there with it. 4 stars
6/23/05 Adonis Fuentes Dumb dance sequence through the lasers 3 stars
6/07/05 Agent Sands You have to be a devout fan of heist & con flicks to really enjoy it. What a ride! 5 stars
5/24/05 Casey Becher A typical, disappointing sequel 2 stars
5/21/05 Charlene Javier Great inside jokes! 3 stars
5/17/05 mysterio Very boring movie. 2 stars
5/12/05 edsandiego2 I find it very entertaining. 4 stars
5/11/05 Beardog8 Love Soderbergh, but this was a let down from all involved. 2 stars
4/29/05 Phil M. Aficionado 40 minutes in, I decided this was not worth watching. What exactly was the point? 2 stars
4/27/05 Uncle Salty Worthless, %90 soundtrack, %10 movie 1 stars
4/23/05 Dan Ok movie, original one was better and always will be. 3 stars
4/23/05 Quigley we would need shovels - no, tractors! - to heap the bullcrap higher. Brad, we've had enough 1 stars
4/22/05 Monster W. Kung Crappy and uninteresting, and the twist sucks like a hoover. 2 stars
4/14/05 Scott Lamont Very anoying and hard to follow, even harder to swallow. 3 stars
4/06/05 brody what a bootleg film 1 stars
3/25/05 Denise good 4 stars
2/12/05 Sylvia Belle I enjoyted this one very much 5 stars
2/11/05 Kelly Self-indulgent, Ego-driven BORE of a Movie. The "aren't we awesome" posturing fell flat. 2 stars
2/11/05 John Jankowski very very average.. 3 stars
2/01/05 Casey Becher A pathetic attempt at a sequel. Sometimes it's better to stop while you're ahead. 3 stars
1/15/05 Feliciano this is what a real boring movie is, a movie with actually nothing interesting. 1 stars
1/08/05 Agent Sands FOR PEOPLE WHO LOVE HEIST MOVIES!!!!!!! SURPRISINGLY EQUIVALENT TO "ELEVEN"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
1/07/05 Elizabeth S Star cameo provides the movie's best moments; pretty charmless. 2 stars
1/04/05 redhand a terrable movie, pointless 1 stars
1/04/05 malcolm excellent, witty dialogue; but ending was a cheat 3 stars
1/02/05 Danno the Movie Manno Should have given Bruce Willis a bigger role 1 stars
12/27/04 efrain as one magazine put it: PEOPLE MAGAZINE COMES TO LIFE. 4 stars
12/27/04 Mike V What a boring, glitzy, empty, mess of a movie. 2 stars
12/19/04 Koitus Ugh! Cheesy details on "how the 12 did it." Identified criminals identities "too" easily. 2 stars
12/18/04 Lisa totally crappy 1 stars
12/16/04 Jack Ocean's 12 is a piece of crap. Soderbergh apparently wants to sully his reputation. 1 stars
12/16/04 Carl Utterback Amusing diversion if you liked the characters (and actors) from Ocean's 11. 4 stars
12/14/04 Elizabeth Bates Great Film!!!! 5 stars
12/14/04 Elizabeth Boring and uninspired, save for a few humorous bits. 2 stars
12/14/04 Mikester Vincent Cassel rocks ! 4 stars
12/12/04 KingNeutron I enjoyed it, espec. the "JR lookalike" subplot. ;-) 4 stars
12/12/04 rich a little too cute on itself and not enough PLOT 2 stars
12/11/04 Scott like The Village--you find out the "secret", but wish you hadn't 3 stars
12/11/04 ajay some funny moments, but overall... boring. 2 stars
12/11/04 Andrew If you don't like Ocean's 12 your too self conscience 5 stars
12/11/04 Kristina Williams celebrity whorefest 2 stars
12/11/04 Bob Kolk Not since Lost in Translation have I had a stronger urge to get up and leave a theater. 1 stars
12/10/04 John Very good movie 5 stars
12/07/04 Ray Big deal 3 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  10-Dec-2004 (PG-13)
  DVD: 12-Apr-2005

UK
  N/A

Australia
  09-Dec-2004




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