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Awesome: 5.43%
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6 reviews, 56 user ratings

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by Scott Weinberg

"Rated 'Best Film of 2005' by the Global Coalition of Horny 14-Year-Olds."
1 stars

Only two weekends into a new year and already we have 2005's answer to "Catwoman." No amount of garish CGI or oh-so-slo-mo cinematography can mask the fact that "Elektra" is ridiculously derivative, endlessly tedious and more than a little snort-out-loud silly from time to time. Oh, but the lead gal spends the whole movie in a red corset and hip-huggin' tights, so make sure you get your tickets now!

What is it with female superheroes and inevitably ROTTEN motion pictures? If recent action-movie history has taught us anything, it's that female ass-kickers have made their presence felt at the box office (Charlie's Angels), the critic's notebooks (Kill Bill), and the arthouses (House of Flying Daggers). Nowadays the ladies are quite comfortable kicking werewolf rump (Underworld), swinging through endlessly booby-trapped temples (Tomb Raider), and slashing through waves of undead zombies (Resident Evil)...and they've all earned at least one sequel apiece!

So why is it that the gals born within the comic-book universe have fared so miserably? First it was Helen Slater squeaking her way through the campfest known as Supergirl, and then it was a hilarious Halle Berry slinking through the atrocious Catwoman. And now comes Elektra...and let's just say this flick isn't about to buck the trend in any discernable way.

Ever seen a movie in which a steel-eyed assassin warms up to someone sweet, only to discover that their newest friend is also...their latest assigned target? (Dun dun dunnnn!) Well, good. If you've already heard that tune a thousand times then there's no real reason to beat down the doors to Elektra, which is easily one of the silliest comic-book adaptations to rear its head since this non-stop deluge of superhero movies began a few years back.

Introduced in the equally ridiculous Daredevil, Elektra is a slinky lil thang, an adorable little female framework on which is hung a variety of ill-fitting corsets and ungainly weapons. Elektra is played by the presently-very-"hot" Jennifer Garner, a waify little willow who inexplicably beats all kinds of butt on her weekly Alias series. So just to be sure: we live in a movie world in which The Incredible Hulk is deemed "too fake" a concept, yet we readily accept the idea of a 90-pound co-ed who can go toe-to-toe with a massive feral brute wielding four machine guns. I digress.

The "assassin with a change of heart" concept waddles onto the screen and promptly snoozes there for about 45 minutes. Frequently we'll be offered generous doses of "plot exposition via flashback" and "character development via dream sequence" - but director Rob Bowman just wedges everything together with little attention paid to pacing, plot or common sense. And even if you combined all of these devices into something beyond a CG-laden snorefest, there's no getting around the fact that...there's nothing remotely new, unique or novel about this flick.

Turns out that Elektra's former-targets / now-pals (an annoying young girl and her amazingly clueless father) are involved in something mysterious, and you just know it won't take long before the Evil Hand Clan starts sending out throngs of assassins with flashy magical talents. There's the Wise Mentor, the Snarky Sidekick, the Sassy Kid, the Bland & Silly Head Villain ... Elektra is nothing if not consistent in its predictability.

Once all the wind is sucked out of the Plot Balloon, you'll be treated to a short series of narcoleptic action sequences: Elektra vs. a steel-skinned giant. Elektra vs. a busty mega-broad who boasts lips of death and cleavage of steel. Elektra vs. a goofball who spits tattoo snakes and wolves out of his belly. And after all this...the denouement gets all deep and serious and contemplative - as if you could actually extract one sincere drop of emotion from this ungainly mess.

Garner struts through the morass as if well aware that "acting" is optional in a movie like this. After seeing her light and entertaining turn in the otherwise awful 13 Going on 30, it looked like Jenny was moving beyond the Karate Mannequin style of acting, but Elektra marks her worst performance to date. With her lips ever-pursed and her back perpetually arched, Garner comes off like the SNL parody of an action-movie heroine. If it's important for you as an audience member to like, admire, respect or feel a kinship towards a particular action hero...go see anything other than Elektra. Cuz all there is to appreciate on this gal is a firm, flat tummy.

It didn't take long before the also-rans managed to dilute the comic-book-movie pool. You all thought it was going to be nothing but "Spider-Man"s and "X-Men 2"s? Unlikely. The roster of Marvel heroes is long and colorful indeed, but clearly you need filmmakers like Sam Raimi or Bryan Singer to put these movies together. Giving a spec/polish script to a neophyte director and demanding a low-end vehicle for today's favorite eye-candy is not the way to bring superheroes to cinematic life. Just ask Halle Berry.

link directly to this review at https://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=11450&reviewer=128
originally posted: 01/14/05 00:22:50
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User Comments

4/04/09 Alfonso Turnage I loved this movie . . . it is one of the best female led super-hero movies 5 stars
3/09/09 MJ Not as bad as some people say. 3 stars
10/17/08 AshleyRockO I liked this film. Jennifer Garner looked good in it to. 4 stars
9/02/08 Shaun Wallner This movie has some great scenes in it. 5 stars
7/07/08 Random I hope this director doesn't get the chance to ruin any more comic book adaptations 2 stars
6/20/08 David V Terrible movie. Actually makes Daredevil look good. 1 stars
6/16/08 Jenn Really boring. Really Flat. Really bad. 1 stars
12/13/07 Jason Elektra was an O.K martial arts flick, with better dialoge than others. Great on PSP. 3 stars
7/16/07 MaDmAN She died on her first night out in Daredevil, so they gave her her own movie? 3 stars
6/16/07 Edison Kirsten prout Is so dam hot haha lol 5 stars
3/30/07 David Pollastrini Jennifer Garner is hot in this! 2 stars
3/20/07 dude really bad 1 stars
1/30/07 action movie fan lame movie-very disappointing 2 stars
12/04/06 Stanley Thai It's an average film. Not too good but not too bad either. 3 stars
7/15/06 bullit16 Very, very blah 2 stars
5/23/06 Josh Standlee Why did Elektra want to save Abby? I would have killed that little shit in a heartbeat! 3 stars
3/27/06 Brian Meyer Excrement defined. It only makes you appeciate Daredevil a little more. 1 stars
3/02/06 Tanya could have been better 3 stars
2/11/06 Indrid Cold Really makes you wonder why they can't just spend just a little more money on THE SCRIPT. 2 stars
1/25/06 LP Quagmire Bring on the sequel! 5 stars
10/24/05 Sugarfoot You mean this wasn't the porno version of Daredevil? Well there goes my rental dollars. 1 stars
8/18/05 ES worse than Daredevil, if that's possible 1 stars
7/25/05 Eric Rollins Liked it , then again I liked Daredevil too, so go figure. 3 stars
7/09/05 Moctezuma I don't care how hot some bitch that can't act looks like in a red suit, this movie sucked 2 stars
6/05/05 spacecowboy this was one of the most disgusting pieces of shit i've ever watched. i want my time back. 1 stars
5/18/05 Cindy Sheeks At least it had a woman super hero for a change. Unfortunately, the movie stunk. 2 stars
5/09/05 Carol Pretty dull 2 stars
5/05/05 Christy Schultz I didn't think it was that bad, but then again I really like Jennifer Garner 4 stars
5/02/05 Dan I'm open to a wide range of movies, but this...ugh. 2 stars
4/25/05 E-FUNK The only recognition it gets... is that it was better than Daredevil, but that means shit. 1 stars
4/09/05 Consuela Sanchez C'mon Jennifer Garner! You seem only slightly better than Ashley Judd at picking roles. 2 stars
3/25/05 Denise ok 2 stars
2/25/05 Brandy It was pretty good, but I wouldn't want to see it twice. 4 stars
2/22/05 ALDO i thought daredevil was Total crap....this makes it look like a master piece 1 stars
2/15/05 Melody Arneil A super hero movie that lacks heart and soul 3 stars
2/11/05 Gabriel Jolivet a poor movie, really not worth the time. 1 stars
2/07/05 whatevr This movie makes no sense! 2 stars
2/04/05 COlleen GOldrick I liked it 4 stars
2/03/05 craig varney electra never got plugged in 2 stars
2/01/05 Lynde Foy Besides Garner half naked this movie offers nothing 1 stars
1/26/05 JesseL Not a good kung fu movie or super hero. Adequate though. 3 stars
1/22/05 Carrielle IT SUCKED!!! 1 stars
1/21/05 Sas Much better than I thought it would be. liked the tattoo guy. 3 stars
1/20/05 MaX I love garner, but dis movie was too slow, great concept though! 4 stars
1/20/05 keithers.. Why don't you make a movie called Gadners Ass...and it would the same thing.. 2 stars
1/19/05 Steve Michaud A sub-par Marvel movie entry, seriously lacking heart or emotional depth 3 stars
1/18/05 e elektra is an advantageously made film. the actors are terrific.the film had good sequences 4 stars
1/17/05 Gray ripoff of leon with kung fu thrown in + some cool villians 3 stars
1/17/05 Whatevr Don't screen near an open flame 1 stars
1/17/05 Aaron Smith Just awful. Bad plot. Bad action. 2 stars
1/15/05 Roy Smith Again Embarrassing. The final fights are retarded. 2 stars
1/14/05 BrianWilly Action scenes questionable, but good drama and heart 5 stars
1/14/05 Darren Shea No memorable performances, decent action.Worth it if you're a comics fan and it's a matinee 3 stars
1/14/05 malcolm nice action sequences, but too far between them. sappy for a movie about an assassin. 3 stars
1/14/05 Nick Riess for kids 2 stars
1/14/05 Dunce Stinker! Should have just adapted Elektra: Assasin comic w/ Claudia Black & Nick Nolte 1 stars
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  14-Jan-2005 (PG-13)
  DVD: 18-Oct-2005



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