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Overall Rating

Awesome: 5.38%
Worth A Look: 6.45%
Just Average: 21.51%
Pretty Crappy: 31.18%

6 reviews, 57 user ratings

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by Collin Souter

"Walk Up to Bill and Kick Him in the Leg, Vol. 1"
1 stars

“A superhero movie in January? Wow!” I thought. “Fox must LOVE this movie so much that they CAN’T WAIT to get it out there! They’re not waiting for summertime or even April! They want the first big, multi-million-dollar star power blockbuster of 2005 NOW! They’re going all out!” Actually, no. “Elektra” has all the turdness you would expect out of a big budget January release that doesn’t feature Frankie Muniz. Fox’s strategy actually works this way: “While everyone focuses on the potential Oscar contenders, we’ll sneak in this stinky-poo into theaters, modestly promote it in order to earn a buck or two and hope to God no one remembers it at the end of the year.”

It might work, but then again I had “My Baby’s Daddy” on my Ten Worst list. Your opinion of this movie won’t really depend on your attitude toward “Daredevil,” the movie/comic book that spawned this spin-off. That movie had its moments of charm and fun, even if it looked too glossy and the action scenes seemed incomprehensible. “Elektra” has no fun to be had. It’s a dour, self-serious and over-acted piece of graphic novel hodge-podge. Although it does make Garner look hotter than she ever has before, the editors did her no favors by leaving in some of the worst acting of her entire career.

This time around, the character Elektra exists in her own world unaware she ever did a movie with Ben Affleck. She roams the earth as a hired assassin who has flashbacks of Clannad videos that relate to her past. With a nice house on the mountains (which may or may not have been previously owned by the late John Denver), she gets the job to murder her next door neighbors, the Millers. This household consists of a widowed father Mark (Goran Visnjic, of “Practical Magic” fame) and his young teenage daughter Abby (Kirsten Prout, of “Once Upon A Christmas” fame).

Of course, Elektra cannot go through with it, seeing as how they invited her over for Christmas dinner the night before and, despite numerous awkward silences, had a great time. Nevertheless, it’s her assignment and if she doesn’t do it someone else will. Who, you ask? The Hand. No, seriously, The Hand will kill them. Who is The Hand? The Hand is a rag-tag group of assassins with names like Tattoo, Stone, Typhoid, Chim-Chim, Bor-Bor and Doc. They all adopt their body language from the Ministry of Silly Walks and will stop at nothing to kill this seemingly normal father-daughter duo.

Elektra takes her orders from hunk McCabe (Colin Cunningham) and a blind man named Stick (Terrence Stamp, and not to be confused with the Burt Reynolds character from 1985), but she defies her orders in order to protect The Millers. They hide out together in order to steer clear of The Hand. In the meantime, Abby tries to form a bond with Elektra by constantly wining that she doesn’t know any of the cool combat tricks that Elektra knows. Elektra trains Abby how to meditate, how to breathe and, most importantly, how to make goofy faces while flying through the air in a slo-mo action movie shot.

Oh, yes, I almost forgot about this being an action movie. Aside from the slow one hour stretch of no action, “Elektra” has some action in it, which is especially awesome if you’re into bed sheets flying around. I’m not, so I didn’t get much excitement from it, but that’s just me. Some of the action revolves around the character Tattoo’s state fair artwork coming to life and flying out of him. Another member of The Hand is a beautiful Asian woman who apparently has such a foul odor that she causes plants to die on the spot as she walks by them (at least that’s my interpretation). All of the action scenes have been conveniently interrupted by quick flashbacks so you can ponder the action while it whizzes by you. Enjoy.

I could admire this kind of stupidgoofycheese if it didn’t take itself so seriously. I’m sure the movie will have its share of fans who claim us critics just didn’t get it. That’s fine, but there’s still no mistaking some bad acting, silly dialogue and over-edited action flashbacks. Sure, Garner’s hot, but what does it say abut the credibility of everyone involved when one of the first glimpses we get of her character is of her ass? That pretty much sets the tone for the whole movie right there. Thanks, Fox.

link directly to this review at https://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=11450&reviewer=233
originally posted: 01/16/05 12:48:59
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User Comments

8/14/20 morris campbell it sucks 1 stars
4/04/09 Alfonso Turnage I loved this movie . . . it is one of the best female led super-hero movies 5 stars
3/09/09 MJ Not as bad as some people say. 3 stars
10/17/08 AshleyRockO I liked this film. Jennifer Garner looked good in it to. 4 stars
9/02/08 Shaun Wallner This movie has some great scenes in it. 5 stars
7/07/08 Random I hope this director doesn't get the chance to ruin any more comic book adaptations 2 stars
6/20/08 David V Terrible movie. Actually makes Daredevil look good. 1 stars
6/16/08 Jenn Really boring. Really Flat. Really bad. 1 stars
12/13/07 Jason Elektra was an O.K martial arts flick, with better dialoge than others. Great on PSP. 3 stars
7/16/07 MaDmAN She died on her first night out in Daredevil, so they gave her her own movie? 3 stars
6/16/07 Edison Kirsten prout Is so dam hot haha lol 5 stars
3/30/07 David Pollastrini Jennifer Garner is hot in this! 2 stars
3/20/07 dude really bad 1 stars
1/30/07 action movie fan lame movie-very disappointing 2 stars
12/04/06 Stanley Thai It's an average film. Not too good but not too bad either. 3 stars
7/15/06 bullit16 Very, very blah 2 stars
5/23/06 Josh Standlee Why did Elektra want to save Abby? I would have killed that little shit in a heartbeat! 3 stars
3/27/06 Brian Meyer Excrement defined. It only makes you appeciate Daredevil a little more. 1 stars
3/02/06 Tanya could have been better 3 stars
2/11/06 Indrid Cold Really makes you wonder why they can't just spend just a little more money on THE SCRIPT. 2 stars
1/25/06 LP Quagmire Bring on the sequel! 5 stars
10/24/05 Sugarfoot You mean this wasn't the porno version of Daredevil? Well there goes my rental dollars. 1 stars
8/18/05 ES worse than Daredevil, if that's possible 1 stars
7/25/05 Eric Rollins Liked it , then again I liked Daredevil too, so go figure. 3 stars
7/09/05 Moctezuma I don't care how hot some bitch that can't act looks like in a red suit, this movie sucked 2 stars
6/05/05 spacecowboy this was one of the most disgusting pieces of shit i've ever watched. i want my time back. 1 stars
5/18/05 Cindy Sheeks At least it had a woman super hero for a change. Unfortunately, the movie stunk. 2 stars
5/09/05 Carol Pretty dull 2 stars
5/05/05 Christy Schultz I didn't think it was that bad, but then again I really like Jennifer Garner 4 stars
5/02/05 Dan I'm open to a wide range of movies, but this...ugh. 2 stars
4/25/05 E-FUNK The only recognition it gets... is that it was better than Daredevil, but that means shit. 1 stars
4/09/05 Consuela Sanchez C'mon Jennifer Garner! You seem only slightly better than Ashley Judd at picking roles. 2 stars
3/25/05 Denise ok 2 stars
2/25/05 Brandy It was pretty good, but I wouldn't want to see it twice. 4 stars
2/22/05 ALDO i thought daredevil was Total crap....this makes it look like a master piece 1 stars
2/15/05 Melody Arneil A super hero movie that lacks heart and soul 3 stars
2/11/05 Gabriel Jolivet a poor movie, really not worth the time. 1 stars
2/07/05 whatevr This movie makes no sense! 2 stars
2/04/05 COlleen GOldrick I liked it 4 stars
2/03/05 craig varney electra never got plugged in 2 stars
2/01/05 Lynde Foy Besides Garner half naked this movie offers nothing 1 stars
1/26/05 JesseL Not a good kung fu movie or super hero. Adequate though. 3 stars
1/22/05 Carrielle IT SUCKED!!! 1 stars
1/21/05 Sas Much better than I thought it would be. liked the tattoo guy. 3 stars
1/20/05 MaX I love garner, but dis movie was too slow, great concept though! 4 stars
1/20/05 keithers.. Why don't you make a movie called Gadners Ass...and it would the same thing.. 2 stars
1/19/05 Steve Michaud A sub-par Marvel movie entry, seriously lacking heart or emotional depth 3 stars
1/18/05 e elektra is an advantageously made film. the actors are terrific.the film had good sequences 4 stars
1/17/05 Gray ripoff of leon with kung fu thrown in + some cool villians 3 stars
1/17/05 Whatevr Don't screen near an open flame 1 stars
1/17/05 Aaron Smith Just awful. Bad plot. Bad action. 2 stars
1/15/05 Roy Smith Again Embarrassing. The final fights are retarded. 2 stars
1/14/05 BrianWilly Action scenes questionable, but good drama and heart 5 stars
1/14/05 Darren Shea No memorable performances, decent action.Worth it if you're a comics fan and it's a matinee 3 stars
1/14/05 malcolm nice action sequences, but too far between them. sappy for a movie about an assassin. 3 stars
1/14/05 Nick Riess for kids 2 stars
1/14/05 Dunce Stinker! Should have just adapted Elektra: Assasin comic w/ Claudia Black & Nick Nolte 1 stars
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  14-Jan-2005 (PG-13)
  DVD: 18-Oct-2005



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