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Awesome: 20.29%
Worth A Look: 2.9%
Just Average: 0%
Pretty Crappy: 0%

7 reviews, 27 user ratings

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by Jason Whyte

"Not to be confused with Supercross, The Magical Cat Adventure!"
1 stars

Words fail me as I sit in a 224 seat cinema watching “Supercross: The Movie” where only nine of them are filled, inexplicably. That a movie that thinks it is so self-important that it needs “The Movie” subtitled underneath its moniker is beside the point. It’s the fact that there are nine people who actually paid to see this movie when there is superior product out there these days.

What’s worse is that a film like this exists in so many cinemas yet a good filmmaker with a promising new film can’t find distribution, or a film festival hit is feared by studios that it will neglect to “find an audience”, or Carroll Ballard has a great new movie out right now called “Duma” that is only playing at a test market in Chicago because the distributor fears it will lose money. “Supercross” somehow made it into 1,621 cinemas in its opening weekend and I’m sure not a single filmmaker here had a single struggle to get it made or marketed, although with its’ $817 per-screen average this weekend, I’m hoping we’ll see less of them from now on.

Someone once said to me a bad movie is only as bad as the idiots who pay their hard earned money to see it. If it does well, then there are a lot of idiots. At least that explains why “Bad Boys 2” and “Alien vs. Predator” did so well.

I’m intentionally stalling from writing about the actual movie because the 79 minute running time passed in the motion picture without a single, emotional response out of my psyche. Nothing original or creative happens in its entirety. Two brothers are pool cleaners who also like dirt bike racing in their spare time. One of them gets picked up by a trainer and becomes big while the other one doesn’t. There’s racing, jealous brothers fighting and a big race at the end where everything gets solved by who comes in first. Oh yeah, and both of them get hot girlfriends in the process.

And that’s it! The brothers are named KC and Trip; I’d look up the actors’ names, but honestly, do you care? One of the girlfriends is only notable because she’s played by Sophia Bush of TV’s “One Tree Hill” and is better known as the reason why Chad Michael Murray can’t go clubbing every night. The other is played by a model-slash-actress named Cameron Richardson (In an attempt to be the next female “Cameron”, I guess), and I don’t think one day she’ll be known the other way around.

The film is made by people with absolute disrespect for its audience; or I guess if you’re a drone who likes constant sped-up-to-slow-motion trick editing (you know the one, where the car or bike or truck goes flying off the hill really fast, then it cuts to slow-mo right as it hits its highest peak, then comes barrelling down), an aggressive soundtrack (half of it loud, the other half to sell the Hot New Soundtrack) and grainy, soft-focus photography, then I guess this would be right up your alley. Last week, I treated myself to a repeat viewing of “Batman Begins” and while that film’s style and visual world was aggressive, it had a reason to do so.

It’s movies like this that make me question not just the filmmakers but also the mutilplex drones who pay their hard earned money to see a movie like this. If you have seen “Supercross: The Movie”, please send me an email and explain to me WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU WANT TO SEE THIS MOVIE? What compelled you? Did you need some form of escapism through the form of speeding bikes? Do you like fast things or the images of almost nude women? With so many better films out there (again, “Batman Begins” if you’re into action, and I’m sure it’s still playing if you’re in a larger city) any reason to pay a ticket to see this makes no sense to me whatsoever. And please spare me the emails telling me that I don’t “get” the dirt biking world, because nothing in the movie compelled me to invest interest in anything it was showing; a WELL made movie will transcend that.

Speaking of which, might I recommend a recent documentary called “Dust to Glory” coming out on DVD this week that is a much more entertaining (if slight) look into the art of racing by way of a Baja 1000 mile race featuring bikes, custom trucks and even a VW Bug. So you even get more cars for the cheaper price of a DVD rental. It wasn’t loved by all (fellow HBS.com writer Peter Sobczynski didn’t recommend it and was then bashed by many gearheads, to which Peter wrote an editorial about it) but I thought it was miles ahead of the garbage offered to us by way of “Supercross: The Godawful Motion Picture.”

link directly to this review at https://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=12728&reviewer=350
originally posted: 08/26/05 02:30:30
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User Comments

4/02/08 Moto Babe Movie was painful. Reviews were the most entertaning of all. 1 stars
10/20/07 8===D hated the movie, loved the review 1 stars
8/05/07 kheith oh my god!!! i love this movie...its really great...hope i will meet mike vogel and cameron 5 stars
6/01/07 RoB I think this movie was GREAT!! 5 stars
5/07/07 sheril i hardly saw aaron carter in the ending 5 stars
11/28/06 matt56 it reminds you of the track, great movie 5 stars
11/07/06 zach I love this movie, and like the other guy below said, it makes you want to go out and race! 5 stars
9/24/06 Cody This movie is awsome it gets you pumped up and wants u to go out there and race 5 stars
9/20/06 Josh Braaten I thought it was a pretty decent movie, Butt i thought it was gunna be alot better. 5 stars
8/18/06 James MacRae it was awsom 5 stars
8/12/06 kaleb its mad 5 stars
3/15/06 mike it rocked this was awsome and nomatter what you say it will always be so take risks!!!!!!!! 5 stars
12/25/05 foxy amazing 5 stars
12/14/05 Sean D Huh?! What the FUCK is the point in THIS! Watch racing instead! 1 stars
12/12/05 Ryan The opening credit were good, dont stay for the rest. 1 stars
11/28/05 Brendon K. "Supercross" tracks new ground for this most-demanding competition sport. 5 stars
11/09/05 mxracer great just like being at the races 5 stars
10/24/05 DEEDeeDEEe SuperCross! Yeah it Did Do A SuperCross Over to DVD, GAYNESS!!! 1 stars
10/05/05 Josh Turner Vegas spark and roar ignites desert sky. Tinselry and racing blaze bright over Finish Line. 4 stars
8/24/05 Kameelah Watley The movie was awesome, it was still extremely well acted and casted. Steve Howey rocks!!!!! 5 stars
8/23/05 Brittany I actually thought it was pretty good. Better than Motocrossed, good plot line, bad lines 4 stars
8/23/05 8=====D Penis 1 stars
8/18/05 Tyrantis Makes "XXXtreme Sports" even more lame than they were before. 1 stars
8/18/05 Anus SUPERCRAP 1 stars
8/18/05 Naka HOLY SWEET GOD, THIS WAS AWFUL. 1 stars
8/18/05 ES Peter you the man- this movie was worse than the 'fast and the furious' 1 stars
8/18/05 Chris This movie is so self important and shallow not to mention bad that its funny 1 stars
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  17-Aug-2005 (PG-13)
  DVD: 31-Jan-2006



Directed by
  Steve Boyum

Written by
  Bart Baker
  Ken Solarz

  Steve Howey
  Mike Vogel
  Sophia Bush
  Robert Carradine
  Daryl Hannah
  Robert Patrick

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