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Mangler Reborn, The
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by The Ultimate Dancing Machine

"Reborn, maybe, but mangled all the same"
1 stars

I've still never seen THE MANGLER, a horror movie about a killer washing machine, because...well, because it's about a killer washing machine, and let's just say there are some books that simply demand to be judged by their covers. Ditto THE MANGLER 2, said to be even worse. So I am not competent to judge this third entry against the previous two; but if the other films in the series sucked, Iím afraid that THE MANGLER REBORN caps off the trilogy only too fittingly.

It seems that a portly repairman (Weston Blakesley) has gotten hold of the notorious Mangler, or what's left of it, and spends night and day tinkering with it in his room. Things go seriously awry when the damn thing possesses his body. (Actually, it's not quite clear what happens; but as the film helpfully opens with one of those Pulp Fiction-style dictionary-entry screens, which spells out the meaning of the word "POSSESSION" for us dense viewers, that's probably the gist of it.) After this, he wanders around bashing people's heads in with a mallet, and shoving their still-living bodies into the carnivorous Mangler.

As our rampaging mallet-wielder, Blakesley comes across as far too unprepossessing to make for a compelling screen psycho. He looks an awful lot like Project Greenlight uber-nerd John Gulager, for one thing; and as he ran around braining people with his trusty mallet, all I could think about was that famously bored, underemployed fellow in the Maytag Repairman commercials of old.

Bland dialogue. Actors who cannot read a line convincingly. Slack pacing. Sequences that drag on well past optimum length. Directors (there's two of them) who fail to pull off a simple jump-scare; the action bits tend to be clumsily staged. Not a whole lot happens in the film, which makes it seem too long even though the end credits roll barely 80 minutes in.

The best that can be said is there is some decent stop-motion photography that kicks in whenever The Mangler goes into action. But thatís about it.

The film doesn't inspire active contempt, only indifference. Iíll leave it to you, constant reader, to decide which is the lesser of two sins.

link directly to this review at https://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=13509&reviewer=223
originally posted: 02/23/06 04:01:34
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4/22/11 Mother Nature the only good thing is that none of the stupid characters survived 1 stars
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  29-Nov-2005 (R)
  DVD: 29-Nov-2005



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