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Overall Rating

Awesome: 16.52%
Worth A Look: 11.3%
Just Average: 5.22%
Pretty Crappy: 26.09%

8 reviews, 67 user ratings

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Underworld: Evolution
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by Jason Whyte

"Uwe Boll gives it a thumbs up!"
1 stars

I gave a pass to Underworld (2003) for being a disposable horror-action picture that looked good, sounded good and starred a delicious Kate Beckinsale all decked out in leather. I’m not the biggest horror fan, let alone follow movies about vampires and werewolves, but it took itself seriously, told a good story, had decent enough characters and a polished, stylized look from director Len Wiseman. And did I mention Kate Beckinsale in leather? Oy vey!

So here we are in the January dumping grounds of 2006, and Underworld: Evolution is upon us in cinemas. I sat down with a bag of popcorn, the lights went down, the film began, 106 minutes went by and it ended, and it must be said after the whole endeavour that free margarine is bad on popcorn (Hey, I didn’t feel like breaking a twenty to spend 50 cents on a serving of butter!). At least I had a free coupon for the popcorn…

See there’s the thing; I spend half of the last paragraph talking about the popcorn. The free popcorn. There wasn’t a single moment in Evolution that registered a single blip on my subconscious. This is straight to video fodder that continues the story about werewolves and vampires that have been fighting for over 1000 years. And, as an added bonus, in case you missed the first film we actually have scenes FROM the original to recap! “Previously, on Underworld ‘03”…

So Selene (Kate Beckinsale) has knocked off Viktor (Bill Nighy, another great thing about the original) and has taken off with recently bitten Michael (Scott Speedman). But you have to realize that there are plenty more baddies in the black, and sure enough, along comes Marcus (Tony Curran) who is an older vampire and wants to dominate the underworld, and Selene and Michael, naturally, are in the way.

And so on and so on the film goes as heroes and villains do battle. There is lots of exposition throughout the movie, told in such a speechifying manner that you wouldn’t want to meet these characters for a drink. Selene and Michael also had a semblance of a love affair in the first and it is repeated here in a scene of body doubles and pasties over the naughty parts, and we are spared any sort of post-coital pillow talk. We don’t want to give off the impression that these people actually talk, do you?

There is some of the same dank, dark visual style that was present in the first Underworld, but while that film had a pretty awesome look and feel of a rainy city overrun by warring creatures -- especially with a great early sequence where we are introduced to Selene fighting at a subway station – the sequel is set out in the woods (which is really the forestry suburbia of Vancouver) and looks and feels like a Uwe Boll movie.

Evolution would work best as a drinking game with a bunch of buddies, and not for taking a shot any time we get a good look at Beckinsale’s suit (although a sip of beer would be recommended). Rather, watch for every closeup of Selene as a character talks to her. Every time you see her eyes shift from the ground up as she listens, take yourself a shot. Ms. Beckinsale does this so many times in the film, I promise you won’t make it after the second reel.

link directly to this review at https://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=13771&reviewer=350
originally posted: 01/22/06 15:13:06
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User Comments

4/01/12 Cr a soild sequel with lots of action, suspense, and good acting. kate is awesome! 4 stars
4/22/11 man yawn 1 stars
4/08/11 Annoymous Took About Bad Acting and neither Derek Jacobi can't save this film 1 stars
1/27/08 Alan Disappointing, a sequence of chases and gory battles, but wiht no tension and little sense. 2 stars
9/14/07 dude boring 1 stars
7/21/07 Rebecca It's really not as bad as the detractors make out. Complexity is a good thing. 5 stars
7/15/07 tweener Awesome... sex scene is a bit much for youngens, but kate looks great and plenty of action 5 stars
5/28/07 Rrahn I liked it very much!!! Some people should respect other opinions... 5 stars
5/07/07 Charles Tatum Another sequel that no one asked for 3 stars
2/06/07 AJ Muller Needlessly complex yet still stupid; decent action, though, and more fun than the first. 3 stars
1/27/07 khatukz the hell i care about what other people say,i liked the movie,no! I loved the movie!!! 5 stars
1/04/07 del I don't ever want to meet the fans of these movies. 1 stars
11/25/06 Tess i loved all Kates move!,,,but hated the blood-sheds. 2 stars
11/19/06 money911$$$$$$$ loved the movie kate beckinsale is hotter than hell and i loveed all the action 5 stars
10/05/06 Peachygirl Who cares about the movie? It had Tony Curran in it -- he made the movie worthwhile. 4 stars
9/19/06 Pritchett The first was lame, this was lamer. 1 stars
9/04/06 Ana Kile Amazing. Good effects. Good acting. Good story telling. Requirement: Some intelligence. 5 stars
8/08/06 Dragon The Artist The only things that need to evolve is the acting & the video gamey concept!! 1 stars
8/07/06 sterling joseph roberson i love so much 5 stars
7/23/06 Jim Better and more epic than the first, and about five times gorier. Michael, move your arm! 4 stars
6/12/06 Paul Schem 5 stars
4/10/06 mohan action , pretty good speical effects and hot,sexy kate 4 stars
3/29/06 fuzzl10 kate beckinsale manages to pull off the girl action heroine, a feat few women can do 5 stars
3/10/06 Sumixam It was entertaining for a fan of the 1st 5 stars
2/28/06 dfd good movie but the first was better 4 stars
2/24/06 PAG Pretty good flick. Better than the first. 4 stars
2/21/06 Leia Easily one of the dumbest movies I've ever seen. 1 stars
2/20/06 riddsy good film 4 stars
2/16/06 Soha Molina bad 1 stars
2/16/06 Galliwertz Even lamer than the first, if you can imagine that. 1 stars
2/15/06 ES Excellent, if you enjoyed the first you'll love the 2nd 5 stars
2/10/06 Mike How disappointing. Good first, totally confused second film. How often can Michael die? 2 stars
2/07/06 FritztheCat I thought this movie was such divine poop in a can...just like the first. 1 stars
2/03/06 CD crap 1 stars
1/31/06 Jonathon its crap.....but it's better than the other crap out there 3 stars
1/30/06 Gungywamp Even lamer than the original lame-fest... 1 stars
1/29/06 lee Boring 1 stars
1/28/06 CthulhuFhtagn Very poor sequel to a very poor film...why are we shocked? 1 stars
1/27/06 Stimpy of DOTs I really enjoyed this movie, 4 stars
1/27/06 Jeebuzz ...and here I was thinking that the FIRST one sucked ass...WHOAH!!!!!!!! 1 stars
1/26/06 Ole Man Bourbon Sure, it's crap. But it's not as bad as a lot of other crap. Whatever that means. 2 stars
1/26/06 Popem UNDERWORLD is a movie morons always seem to like...what gives??? 1 stars
1/25/06 Jeff Paulin it was a good action movie worth a look 4 stars
1/24/06 Anus I fell asleep while watching this. That's bad, right? TRIUMPH : UNDERWEAR REVOLUTION 1 stars
1/24/06 Runaway Hey! Some loser guy's old loser wife liked it! That MUST mean it's good!!! 1 stars
1/24/06 Lighten-up It's not that bad! It's enjoyable for what it is. My 40yr old wife loves it. 3 stars
1/23/06 K-2 You are all losers for liking this garbage...but we already knew that, didn't we? 1 stars
1/23/06 Paul Critics really have NO lives. RELAX! This movie was good! FUN! Kate you are perfect. 4 stars
1/23/06 Michael Loved it. don't listen to critics. Listen to regular people 4 stars
1/23/06 Chip It was alright. The first one had a better storyline though. 4 stars
1/22/06 LoveTrash This movie ROCKED (worthy of several viewings, unlike other blockbusters) 5 stars
1/22/06 Blutarsky Nowhere near as bad as made out here. Bah. 4 stars
1/22/06 The Talking Elbow Proof that film reviewers should be taken with a grain of salt: I had no problems with UE. 5 stars
1/22/06 JK This sequel was incredible! I loved it. Kate kicked more ass than she did in the original! 5 stars
1/22/06 Zordude I enjoyed it. 5 stars
1/22/06 bluseed This movie rocks!!! and so did Kate! 5 stars
1/22/06 Noodle The same dull people who liked the crappy first will like this second helping of shit, too! 1 stars
1/21/06 Ton I enjoyed this movie! Don't watch it if you don't like vampires. 5 stars
1/21/06 Jessi I think it was a great film and even better than the first! 5 stars
1/21/06 Evil Wolfie Loved the first - This one not so much 3 stars
1/21/06 NoRefill Just really boring. Liked this one even less than the first one. 2 stars
1/21/06 Flyboy Dare I say even more boring than the first...I didn't think that was possible. 1 stars
1/21/06 asme cool!!!!!! yah.... 3 stars
1/20/06 SoHo More trash for the January dumping ground! WAY worse than the original turd!!!! 1 stars
1/20/06 Chappy I hated the original, WHY did I think this one would be any better???? Aaaaargggggh!!!!!!! 1 stars
1/20/06 malcolm how could a film w/beckinsale naked, vampires, werewolves, graphic violence be so BORING? 2 stars
1/20/06 BrianWilly Surprisingly fun and entertaining. Better than the first. 5 stars
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  20-Jan-2006 (R)
  DVD: 06-Jun-2006



Directed by
  Len Wiseman

Written by
  Danny McBride

  Kate Beckinsale
  Scott Speedman
  Tony Curran
  Derek Jacobi
  Bill Nighy
  Michael Sheen

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