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Overall Rating

Worth A Look: 25.79%
Just Average: 10.69%
Pretty Crappy: 14.47%
Sucks: 20.75%

14 reviews, 75 user ratings

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Snakes on a Plane
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by Doug Bentin

"Cut to the chase—Yes."
4 stars

It is as silly as it sounds like it is. It is a solid “B” picture that would have found its home on the Sci Fi Channel if Samuel L. Jackson hadn’t fallen in love with the title. Oh, the title should be spoken with a pause after the first word, and then the last three added as an afterthought.

And yes, “Snakes . . . on a Plane” is, if you love this kind of silliness as much as you should, more fun than any of summer 2006’s over-produced and over-long blockbusters. Just don’t ask it to make sense.

Director David R. Ellis (“Final Destination 2” “Cellular”) seems to be fashioning a career out of turning highly implausible material into amusing entertainments. If SoaP doesn’t earn him a place in the “B” Movie Hall of Fame, I’m turning in my membership card.

A surfer named Sean (Nathan Phillips) inadvertently witnesses a mob killing in Hawaii and is saved from getting killed himself by FBI agent Nelville Flynn (Jackson). Flynn has to take his witness to L.A. and the mob boss whose butt is about to go in the wringer decides to kill agent and witness while they’re in the air.

And yes, he attempts this by sneaking 300 venomous snakes onto the plane, in a container with a time lock on its door. When the reptiles are released, ending up even in an air-sick bag to spring out and latch onto some poor woman’s tongue, passengers and crew, led by feisty flight attendant Julianna Margulies, must band together and protect themselves from Many Pythons’ Flying Circus.

Is the motivation for this inanity set up for us? No. Would anyone do this when he could so much more easily plant a bomb on the plane? No. If he saw “Red Eye” last year, wouldn’t the killer know that he could put an assassin on the plane? Sure he would.

Look, I know that one of the mottoes of “B” filmmaking is “Don’t explain, just keep walking,” but I would have liked for this snake schtick to have been set up better. Maybe we could have been told that the killer loves gadgets and complicated death traps.

But does any of it matter? No, not if you can suspend disbelief for 106 minutes. If you can’t, go watch another movie.

Jackson doesn’t bring anything to his role but an obvious desire to play it. The story is, if you want to believe it—I think it’s part of the hype—that a web fan suggested a particular line of dialogue for Jackson, one with a double use of a word which Jackson uses a lot. When the line was delivered on screen, my audience broke into cheers and applause. Not bad for, “That’s it. I want these muthafuckin’ snakes off this muthfuckin’ plane.”

The rest of the cast is suitably energetic and the CGI snakes would look real if they were displayed from angles that didn’t scream out that the shot was faked. That also takes something away from the film’s shock value, but I suspect that if the attacks looked uncomfortably real, no one would be able to stand it. As it is, some of the places people get bit will make you, well, squirm.

SoaP is good old-fashioned ghastly, dirty, horror comics fun—low down high concept. Fangs for everything, guys.

But my guess now is that every rip off picture that tries to imitate it will bite.

Come on, you know you awaited the opening of this picture either smacking you lips in anticipation or lamenting the fall of western civilization. Sure, like “Oedipus Rex” is the model of dramatic good taste and restraint.

link directly to this review at https://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=15043&reviewer=405
originally posted: 09/07/06 14:50:29
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User Comments

6/21/15 David Hollingsworth I wouldn't even recommend this for dogs. 1 stars
7/09/11 Dr.Lao FIlm makers showing their honest contempt for their audience 1 stars
7/09/11 Jennifer Barr alright, although it just seemed so predictible thru out 3 stars
12/25/10 Blue Shark Dude ... The people who don't get it are Republicans anyway ... so no loss. 5 stars
5/31/10 User Name Snakes On A Plane aims low, and hits lower. 2 stars
10/25/09 Miss Snake The best fun a movie could offer. The fake looking CGI snakes are hysterically funny. 4 stars
7/24/09 Jeff Wilder Works better if you view it as a comedy rather than as a thriller. 3 stars
3/07/08 SamanthaPayntr it definitely delivered, there were snakes and they were on a plane, pretty good stuff 3 stars
7/26/07 TreeTiger A piece of cinematic shit - I recommend... Anything BUT this... 1 stars
7/10/07 Tiffany Losco I thought it was ok, but I didn't like the blonde bimbo in the bathroom 2 stars
4/01/07 CAB I was expecting Leslie Nielsen to show up at any minute… 2 stars
3/28/07 Your mom Assholes, this movie is the worst shit ever.STUPID. ASS. HOLES. 1 stars
2/26/07 Asian God 94 The BEST B-grade horror movie of all time! Compulsary Viewing 5 stars
2/18/07 JM Synth No where near as fun, or silly, as it should have been 3 stars
2/13/07 Prada it was sooo.. bad it was actually good 3 stars
2/04/07 MickT Samuel L. Jackson is the biggest sell-out EVER!! what a piece of shit this film is!!! 1 stars
2/02/07 Indrid Cold Upside: it's as exciting as a snakes/planes movie could possibly be. Downside: ditto. 3 stars
2/01/07 Anthony Feor People expect us to take this movie seriously? 0.5/5 1 stars
1/21/07 Matt It should be clasified as COMEDY 5 stars
1/18/07 Jeff Brown pitiful 1 stars
1/14/07 Sugarfoot It felt like an Airport sequel. Overall not as fun as I thought it would be. 2 stars
1/09/07 Matt Get a life, have a laugh - this is FUN,FUN,FUN! 4 stars
12/10/06 JoKimiKo the movie is AwsOme but ur REviEw! is craP 1 stars
11/17/06 Lerker You are the worst reveiwer. Ever. 1 stars
11/16/06 Nick So, you gave Borat 1 Star, but SOAP 5 Stars? I do not comprehend your thought process. 3 stars
11/10/06 Serge Piece of crap IMO. Snakes on crack...har har. 2 stars
10/27/06 DIANA a movie to watch on tv if nothing else to watch 2 stars
10/24/06 Drew G So bad it was good... 3 stars
10/12/06 Erin Get out of the mud u sticks, it was great fun!!! 4 stars
10/08/06 Mike Nothing great to me. Something to watch if really bored. 2 stars
9/29/06 NiCk Great movie! Was Pulp Fiction good because of its plot? 5 stars
9/20/06 malcolm awful, but a lot of damn fun 3 stars
9/12/06 Edward Connell A purposefull movie that will lead you on an adventure in excitement and possibility. 4 stars
9/12/06 Louise Good fun and a pretty tense ride!!! 4 stars
9/11/06 Michael Coovert Samuel Jackson's stock just plumeted in my book!! Total schtick and effects fodder!!! 1 stars
9/11/06 Kevin Ramsay "Snakes On A Plane" is pure fun. Don't take it too seriously, though. 5 stars
9/10/06 Aaron This move was a blast! 4 stars
9/02/06 Christopher Stucky The hype WAS the story. The movie was an afterthought. 1 stars
9/01/06 Stubby If you all were any stupider, you'd have to be told when to breathe. Kill yourselves. 1 stars
8/30/06 Christine it was soooooo awesome I want to see it over and over again 5 stars
8/28/06 Serina Boccello COME ON!! who honestly wants to see THIS movie!! SNAKES AGGHHH!!! 2 stars
8/27/06 Grant Funny, well acted, stupid jokes, scenes and endless funny deaths. 5 stars
8/26/06 Alan Snakes on a Plane happens 5 stars
8/26/06 Mike D Only movie I've seen in this year that got a standing ovation from the entire theater! 5 stars
8/25/06 michael average and wait for the DVD 4 stars
8/25/06 Stanley Thai Still an average thriller without the famous title. Nothing special. 3 stars
8/25/06 Alex Thorne does exactly what it says on the tin. gruesomly marvellous 4 stars
8/25/06 Robert Blanton Mr. Souter nailed this snake right on the head! 2 stars
8/24/06 Zaw Snakes bites.. lol 5 stars
8/23/06 philip Corcos corcos 5 stars
8/22/06 Centipedes "Snakes? On MY plane?" It's more likely than you think. 5 stars
8/22/06 Quigley much more violent than I thought; sex scene pointless; but Sam Jackson and the snakes rock 4 stars
8/22/06 A. Shah The best time I've had in a movie since I was a kid. I'm now 33. 5 stars
8/22/06 Pn. 1000 fanboys collaborated on the script. That it's schwag should surpise no one. 2 stars
8/21/06 danthewrestlingman Snakes On A Motherfuckin Plane Beeoch Nuff Said 5 stars
8/21/06 Ole Man Bourbon Not enough snakes. JIMMIE BELLE TURN OFF YOUR GODDAMN CAPS LOCK. 3 stars
8/21/06 Sammy J. This movie is the most balla shit eva! 5 stars
8/21/06 Harold You are all tools. 1 stars
8/20/06 Captain Highcrime Not since the glory days of "Married...with Children" have audiences been so boisterous. 5 stars
8/20/06 Jeff Martin Awesome movie, great fun and entertainment, brianorndorf is full of crap in his review 5 stars
8/19/06 ajay go in a packed theatre of nerds who "get it". Otherwise, it's horrible. 4 stars
8/19/06 ray best time i've had at the movies in years. great cinema? maybe not. still fun. 5 stars
8/19/06 Alex S AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME 5 stars
8/19/06 Nads Snakes on a muthafuckin' PLANE! 5 stars
8/18/06 KingNeutron Decent; some really scary parts. Take S.O. to see it. 4 stars
8/18/06 Jesus WAAAY better than expected... ridiculous, stupid, and amazing! 1 stars
8/18/06 Keith This movie was boring. What is up with Snakes on a plane who cares. A total waste of money. 1 stars
8/18/06 Kent Battersby Best. Movie. Ever...SNAKE VISION!!! 5 stars
8/18/06 Adrian It's fun. It's that simple. No thinking, no shit liek that, just fun. 5 stars
8/18/06 Joe Baldwin The audience makes all the difference. Laughter and applause filled the room for 2 hours. 5 stars
8/18/06 Andrew The most fun I've had in a theatre... EVER. 5 stars
8/18/06 Doug Higley Absolute BEST B Horror Ever. Total Fun at breakneck pacing. 5 stars
8/18/06 Squibner Welch Fantastic fun 5 stars
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  18-Aug-2006 (R)
  DVD: 02-Jan-2007



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