Jamie Kennedy's favorite movie review site
Home Reviews  Articles  Release Dates Coming Soon  DVD  Top 20s Criticwatch  Search
Public Forums  Festival Coverage  Contests About 

Overall Rating

Awesome: 9.09%
Worth A Look: 3.9%
Just Average: 2.6%
Pretty Crappy: 9.09%

5 reviews, 47 user ratings

Latest Reviews

Lupin III: The First by Jay Seaver

Caddyshack by Jack Sommersby

Over the Moon by Jay Seaver

Rebecca (2020) by Jay Seaver

Easy Money by Jack Sommersby

Leap by Jay Seaver

Run (2020) by Jay Seaver

Pelican Blood by Jay Seaver

Save Yourselves! by Jay Seaver

Dead by Jay Seaver

subscribe to this feed

Epic Movie
[AllPosters.com] Buy posters from this movie
by Peter Sobczynski

"Yeah, I Saw It--Who Wants To Touch Me?"
1 stars

“Epic Movie” plays like a collection of skits at a talent show staged by a high school that is about to be shuttered because of declining test scores. I’m sure that this revelation will not come as a surprise to anyone who has seen the stridently unfunny trailer over the past few weeks but even those who walk into the film expecting it to be a drag may come away stunned by its sheer cruddiness. It may not be the worst parody film ever made–though no rivals for that title immediately spring to mind–but that is only because it is too lazy and stupid to even accomplish that goal. It comes to us from writer-directors Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer and 20th Century Fox, who previously collaborated on last year’s dismal spoof “Date Movie” and it is the first comedy that I can think of in recent memory that does not improve in the memory when compared to that earlier effort. In fact, I can confidently guarantee that this will be by far the worst movie playing at a theater near you this weekend, even if your local multiplex is also holding a Uwe Boll retrospective at the same time.

“Date Movie,” you will recall, was meant to be a spoof of all the various romantic comedies to come along the pike in the last few years, although I seem to recall that it drifted far enough away from the central premise to also include jokes based on “Kill Bill” and “Rize.” Although the title makes it sound like it may be a goof on big-screen spectacles such as “Ben-Hur” or “Gladiator,” it appears that Friedberg and Seltzer define “epic movie” as “any film that made a few bucks that came out in the last year or so.” Among the titles shabbily skewered here, in order of appearance, are “The Da Vinci Code,” “Nacho Libre,” “Snakes on a Plane,” “X-Men: The Last Stand,” “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,” The Chronicles of Narnia,” “Mission: Impossible 3,” “Superman Returns,” “Harry Potter,” “Pirates of the Caribbean,” “Click” and “Borat.” In addition, the film also tries to wring laughs from jokes based on older titles such as “Scarface” and “A Christmas Story,” the television shows “Punk’d” and “Cribs” and even the popular “Lazy Sunday” skit from “Saturday Night Live.” And when those titles fail to inspire laughs, Friedberg & Seltzer try to get giggles by bringing in people who vaguely resemble Kanye West, Michael Jackson, Paris Hilton and Mel Gibson, none of whom have done anything to deserve being commemorated in something this awful. I won’t go into explaining how the story tries to tie all of those elements together–to do so would require me to give the screenplay more thought and consideration that the authors apparently did during the 45 minutes that I assume were required to write it.

You would think that it would be fairly easy to goof on the pomposity of such films as “The Da Vinci Code,” “X-Men 3" and “The Chronicles of Narnia” but this doesn’t seem to have occurred to anyone involved with “Epic Movie.” Instead, the basic comedy construct is to dress people up in Halloween costumes, have them say “I am Harry Potter” or “I am the White Bitch” and then have them either fart, puke or get punched in the face or the groin. As for something like “Pirates of the Caribbean,” the inclusion doesn’t make a lot of sense because it is trying to make fun of a film that didn’t exactly take itself seriously in the first place–it can be done, I suppose, but it would require a touch far more deft and clever than the one displayed here. Then there are the bits that don’t even try to make fun of the films they are referencing–the entire “Borat” gag consists of having a guy with the mustache and the bathing suit wander in at the very end to say “Very nice!” and I guess we are supposed to think “Hey, ‘Borat’ was funny–this must be funny too!” and laugh hysterically at the mere sight of it. Of course, when the effort of creating rich humor such as that becomes too wearying, the film relies on such pearls of wit as bringing in a talking beaver and naming him Harry Beaver, ho-ho-ho.

Although the film has been populated largely with unknowns with unimpressive comic chops–Jayma Mays, who plays the dumbest person in a script full of dummies–appears to have been cast because she looks like what might result if previous spoof queens Anna Faris and Alyson Hannigan ever decided to mate (a idea far more pleasant to contemplate than anything else on display here)–a couple of well-known people have been inveigled to show up as well, possibly as a community service requirement. Crispin Glover turns up as a malevolent Willy Wonka and while he doesn’t really have anything funny to do, he certainly throws himself into the role with enough energy to make his bit the film’s lone highlight. Kal Penn and Jennifer Coolidge also appears for no other reason so that the others can refer to the former as Kumar and the latter as Stifler’s Mom. (Now if they referred to Coolidge as Kumar and Penn as Stifler’s Mom, they might have had something.)

Then there is Carmen Electra, who pops up (and out) in little more than blue paint to portray the shape-shifting Mystique from “X-Men.” One would think that the comedic possibilities of a shape-shifting Carmen Electra would be endless but all that this screenplay can think of is to have her increase the size of her chest, which is kind of like bringing really hot coals to Newcastle if you think about it. It quickly becomes evident that she wasn’t cast because anyone had any genuine comic inspiration involving her as Mystique–she was cast because one of the filmmakers (I’m guessing Friedberg) liked the idea of seeing Electra in nothing but blue paint and found a way to make his dream come true. I can’t say I blame him but if he didn’t have anything for her to do, why not just hire her to come to his house (or mom’s basement, more likely) slathered in tempera? After all, it could hardly be more demeaning than appearing in Taco Bell commercials or the likes of “Epic Movie.”

However, the truly inexplicable guest appearance comes from Fred Willard, who pops up as the half-man/half lion Aslo in an outfit that makes him look like the off-spring of Siegfried, Roy and an especially ratty throw rug. Under the right circumstances, such as the work he has done for Christopher Guest, he can be arguably the funniest man on the planet but he also seems to be carving out a second career by lending his name to some of the worst comedies ever made, such as “Idle Hands,” “American Wedding” and “Date Movie.” I interviewed Willard once a few years ago and asked him point-blank what he was doing in “Idle Hands” and he sheepishly replied that he really didn’t get what was going on and that he never bothered to actually watch the film in its entirety. For his sake, I hope he maintains that same approach to “Epic Movie.” For his sake, I also hope that he managed to hold on to the wig that he sports in the film. Both of them.

link directly to this review at https://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=15558&reviewer=389
originally posted: 01/26/07 15:31:21
[printer] printer-friendly format  

User Comments

5/23/20 Jenny Tullwartz Gadzooks! Willy Wonka went over to the dark side of the farce! 3 stars
11/03/18 Kingneutron This was BADLY DIRECTED and not very funny 2 stars
8/15/11 chris Trying Hard for laughs the movie 1 stars
7/18/11 art On second thought, a Great Satire of adventure films,Jayma Mays is the New Anna FAris! 4 stars
5/31/10 User Name It doesn't really parody anything, as much as it yells "this existed!". 1 stars
2/16/10 JM Synth Not just unfunny, it's poorly made with production values well below theatrical standards 1 stars
1/24/10 art "very funny" jayma mays IS a poor man"s anna faris! 1 stars
8/30/09 Pat How are there any five star votes at all? Are you people stupid or something? 1 stars
7/01/09 Josie Cotton is a goddess A masterpice when compared to 'Meet The Spartens;' not like that says anything 2 stars
1/15/09 FrankNFurter Pop-culture refernces without humor does not = humor.Shameful poo! 1 stars
8/28/08 Shaun Wallner Never laughed so hard in my Life!! 5 stars
7/22/08 David Epic Fail. 1 stars
7/07/08 art AN"EPIC" 1 stars
5/06/08 Sarbu Rada The movie was sooo boring... and bad, of course :D 1 stars
8/15/07 Ashley Didn't even laugh once at this Date Movie wannabe. At least Date Movie was funni! 1 stars
6/27/07 Sebastian Luna This movie rocks!!! 5 stars
6/27/07 Dr. Isaksson I am a CS Lewis fan and the ode to Narnia was the only redeeming value. Just not funny. 2 stars
6/21/07 my name is... great- hysterically funny, mainly in the terrible acting 5 stars
5/29/07 Valenitnh Great movie 5 stars
5/22/07 Devin Burdett This movie is awesome 5 stars
4/30/07 desto mostly bad acting, terrible humour... it SUCKED 1 stars
4/17/07 David Pollastrini pretty silly! 2 stars
4/16/07 Robert Frost -10 stars. Don't go on this path. 1 stars
4/05/07 Ariadne Christina Renee Gladstone Pretty much the kind of spoof that pseudochristian C.S. Lewis deserves! 4 stars
3/28/07 Darlene Groetz Right Regina, parts should be different--ditch the humping & especially the tragic wands! 3 stars
3/28/07 Regina Haniger Some parts too discombobulated,but on whole a decent spoof.(I'd've made some parts dif'rnt) 4 stars
3/02/07 jonny cash awesome 5 stars
2/23/07 The chode complete GARB 1 stars
2/20/07 Beau i only enjoyed the norbit preview before the movie, i coodnt stop laughing. movies trash 1 stars
2/18/07 Tiffany trashy, i only laughed a couple of times. wasnt worth the money 2 stars
2/15/07 Axel Leos One of the worst movies i have seen.... 1 stars
2/14/07 Pete Zerria A complete waste of time & money. Should have been rated "R" too 1 stars
2/12/07 The chode Worst movie I have seen in years. 1 stars
2/11/07 Shobert Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer are 100% sans talent. 1 stars
2/11/07 Austin Wertman Wheres the humor? 1 stars
2/05/07 Kischuta There was only one laugh to be had from the entire movie. 1 stars
2/01/07 Joe The only thing this movie has going for it is Carmen Electra in blue body paint. 1 stars
1/30/07 tom umm... was this a movie, a couple laughs, but no more than watching jerry springer 1 stars
1/29/07 Mikey Damn. That sucked. 'Nuff Said. 1 stars
1/29/07 mike laughed my ass off when aslo kept changing from the old guy to the chinese guy but thats it 2 stars
1/28/07 Raymond Chandler Brian Orndorf, you're my best friend 1 stars
1/28/07 bob waste of money 1 stars
1/27/07 Shoshie This movie is trash. 1 stars
1/27/07 del Who the HELL keeps giving these guys money to make movies?!?!?!?!?!?! 1 stars
1/27/07 mets1986 One of the top % worst movies I have EVER seen! 1 stars
1/27/07 Nick-o-less This Movie Is Fucking Funny 5 stars
Note: Duplicate, 'planted,' or other obviously improper comments
will be deleted at our discretion. So don't bother posting 'em. Thanks!
Your Name:
Your Comments:
Your Location: (state/province/country)
Your Rating:

Discuss this movie in our forum

  26-Jan-2007 (PG-13)
  DVD: 22-May-2007

  09-Feb-2007 (15)
  DVD: 11-Jun-2007

  25-Jan-2007 (M)

Home Reviews  Articles  Release Dates Coming Soon  DVD  Top 20s Criticwatch  Search
Public Forums  Festival Coverage  Contests About 
Privacy Policy | | HBS Inc. |   
All data and site design copyright 1997-2017, HBS Entertainment, Inc.
Search for
reviews features movie title writer/director/cast