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Overall Rating

Awesome: 26.71%
Worth A Look: 9.59%
Just Average: 3.42%
Pretty Crappy: 8.9%

4 reviews, 122 user ratings

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Dragon Wars (D-War)
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by Mel Valentin

"Whatever you do, don't give in to your curiosity. It's really that awful."
1 stars

"D-War" (a.k.a. "Dragon Wars") is South Korea's "answer" to a Hollywood big-budget, effects-driven fantasy/adventure epic. To be more accurate, "D-War" is writer/director Hyung-rae Shim's ("Yonggary") attempt to make South Korea the new center for effects-heavy Asian filmmaking. Working with a $30 million dollar budget, an American cast, and a script cobbled together from every fantasy or science fiction epic he could pilfer, Shim has made a film so woefully misconceived and ineptly executed that will make the reigning king of crappy filmmaking, Uwe Boll ("Postal," "Alone in the Dark," "House of the Dead") envious of the stumbling, bumbling incompetence on display in every frame.

Unsurprisingly, D-War is a mess in just about any and every way you can imagine. D-War begins in the near past. Ethan Kendrick (Cody Arens) walks into an antiques shop owed by the sage-like Jack (Robert Forster). Jack sends Ethanís father on an errand, sits Ethan on his lap (metaphorically speaking, of course), and then spins out a fanciful tale about feudal Korea, star-crossed lovers, Haram and Narin, dueling dragons called Imoogis, and spirit goo that will make the possessor all-powerful. Trouble is the goo doesnít exist on its own, but inside the heart of a young woman (one of the lovers). Before Buraki, an evil dragon-spirit, can nab the spirit goo, the lovers jump off a cliff, foiling his plans for world domination, at least for 500 years. Jack reveals that Ethan is Haramís reincarnation and that somewhere, Narinís reincarnation is also alive.

Skip ahead five hundred years. An adult Ethan (Jason Behr), now a reporter for a cable news network, still wears the powerful pendant Jack gave him fifteen years ago. Through a series of circumstances that arenít particularly plausible or interesting, Ethan meets Sarah Daniels (Amanda Brooks), Narinís reincarnation. But Ethan isnít alone in wanting to find Sarah. A giant serpent is also looking for Sarah, wreaking havoc wherever it goes (mostly downtown Los Angeles). Not content to let a giant serpent capture Sarah, Buraki sends an army of monsters, led by a general in black armor, after Sarah as well. With the help of Ethanís cameraman, Bruce (Craig Robinson), Ethan and Sarah try to evade Burakiís army.

Where to begin? Should we begin with the shoddy, sub-par special effects that were state-of-the-art fifteen years ago (i.e., pre-Jurassic Park)? Apparently, Shim took all of three years to complete the visual effects after principal production ended in 2004. Shim should have taken another three or four years to get the visual effects up to par. To be fair, the giant serpents arenít exactly eyesores, but once the serpents interact with ďliveĒ or actual objects (i.e., buildings), then Shimís lack of resources, talent, and experience become all too apparent. Everything else, effects wise, is either videogame cut scene level or below. Which begs the question: why bother seeing D-War when you can play a fantasy/epic videogame? Your guess is as good as mine.

So what about the nonsensical, unnecessarily convoluted storyline? Well, itís nonsensical and unnecessarily convoluted. Worse, itís dull and derivative, padded with ridiculous, ham-handed dialogue no serious or struggling actor would or should be caught uttering onscreen. And letís not even get into the stereotypical sidekick character (heís African-American, of course). Worse still, Shim has no clue how to tell a story without relying on long stretches of badly executed flashbacks or lengthy clumps of exposition clumsily delivered by an obviously slumming Robert Forster. Seriously, you have to feel bad for Forster. Sure, Forster has appeared in more than his share of B-level dreck (the man has to eat and put a roof over his head, after all), but heís also proven himself an actor of some ability. Here, he shows up, reads his lines, then walks off, presumably to pick up a cashierís check on his way off the set.

Likewise with the rest of the cast who must have been grateful they werenít waiting tables to pay the rent. Itís hard to imagine any of them, however, adding "D-War" to their curriculum vitas, unless, of course, they were hoping to get a gig on a Sci-Fi Original Picture about giant, out-of-control monsters or, more accurately, ďactingĒ in front of green screens while short-on-resources visual effects units added computer generated monsters in post-production. At least theyíd have relevant experience. For everyone else who had the misfortune of seeing "D-War" on or off screen (presumably via a bootleg copy), itíll be a long, long time before theyíll be able to forget the bad memories Shim has saddled them (and us) with, thanks to one of the worst excuses for a fantasy/epic ever put on screen. Defying all logic, "D-War" is already a hit in Shimís native South Korea.

link directly to this review at https://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=16542&reviewer=402
originally posted: 10/07/07 23:23:23
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User Comments

6/30/12 Daniel It's f**cking Horrible! 1 stars
5/01/10 Jerome Cook story - stupid. characters - dumb. CG Effects - awesome. 4 stars
3/18/08 Ruppy I'd rather stick a meant thermoter in my ear than sit through this again 1 stars
2/17/08 Rushabh i dont know if the good dragon won or the bad one it looked to me as if the bad one won 2 stars
1/13/08 Anonymous Only movie I've ever walked out of. 1 stars
11/23/07 ĺĺĻŖ≥ūĶť all of the good comment is wriiten by koreans 1 stars
11/20/07 DJ_Boy I'd rather like to see western dragons against eastern dragons! 3 stars
11/03/07 Joe "Wish I could give ZERO stars" - I agree! 1 stars
11/01/07 David better graphics and story than Transformers~ 5 stars
10/26/07 Ashisogi_Jizou If you want dragons, just go watch Reign of Fire. 2 stars
10/19/07 Chuck Wildman I really wanted to like this flick, we'll it was nearly as good as snakes on a plane. 2 stars
10/18/07 Brad Messy and disjointed.Points for the great looking "Eastern" dragon and wanton destruction. 2 stars
10/14/07 Keystra Williams Wish I could give ZERO stars 1 stars
10/10/07 Jack good 5 stars
10/05/07 Kelly Smith The story line was unique.CG was real great,Excellent monster movie! 5 stars
10/05/07 Joon Monster flicks should be rated on completely different criteria from drama-ridden flicks. 5 stars
10/02/07 kim WORST OF WORST OF WORST THERE IS NOTHING TO DESCRIBE IT it sucks, waste of money 1 stars
10/02/07 Harris The CG was breathtaking,the special affect and action really made up for it. 5 stars
9/30/07 Ockham Completely incoherent storyline, two-dimensional characters. This movie is a waste of time 1 stars
9/29/07 Stephen Chang Do I have the option to give 1/3 of a star? 1 stars
9/29/07 Adam should've been released in the same catagory as all those Steven Segall flicks 1 stars
9/29/07 Rose Cho Amazing CG and original dragon story,Recommend to everyone! 5 stars
9/29/07 Chris C This made Attack of the Killer Tomatoes look good. 1 stars
9/27/07 Sonya Sorry my stupid lying Hehe~Actually my 8 year old son is crying he want to see D-WAR AGAIN! 5 stars
9/26/07 Sonya This movie sucked bad, my eight year old son left the movie crying it was chessy 1 stars
9/26/07 Sonia Dragon wars --This movie rocked in every possible way, two thumbs up!! 5 stars
9/25/07 Spartan "Arise... Mighty.... DWADLER!" 1 stars
9/24/07 Tommy OMG, horrible actors. Advice=extend the downtown battle scenes for the whole 1.22 hours 1 stars
9/23/07 Thomas Best graphics ever,The graphics and action were awesome, Two thumbs up! 5 stars
9/23/07 John y the hell did korea let this crap go international? they have amazing movies, but y this?? 1 stars
9/23/07 Spazzu I...I had no idea what was going on. I really, really didn't...Srsly, guys. UR DOIN IT RONG 3 stars
9/23/07 BeforeDawn just in case ppl get the wrong idea-a lot of Koreans thought this movie was crap too 1 stars
9/22/07 Bill Gosse Trash 1 stars
9/21/07 Conker Other than the poor acting I enjoyed it. 3 stars
9/21/07 Jin Joo Really interesting, especially the action was perfect ! 5 stars
9/21/07 Dman (so its different, and foreign, so what? I went on $5 Tuesday) You think it was horrible? Go high, then you'll laugh, listen, and love the action! 5 stars
9/21/07 Buraki Imoogi boogie schmoogie doogie I've pooped turds that smelled better than this movie. 1 stars
9/21/07 drew smith Dragon wars --This movie rocked in every possible way, two thumbs up!! 5 stars
9/20/07 Plato Lee Jackson This movie was so bad that it was actually funny! No harm intended to Koreans! 1 stars
9/20/07 Pope Korky I Oh CROIKY, this movie was TERRIBLE!!!! 1 stars
9/20/07 Gene It was so bad, it was totally hilarious!! Had me laughing the whole time... 4 stars
9/20/07 Chris The movie had a lot of potential, too bad the director sabotaged it horrbily. 1 stars
9/19/07 Kor3an I bet you will laugh enough and visually enjoyed with CG, if you are open minded 4 stars
9/19/07 Arnold It's was OK 5 stars
9/19/07 Dawit Seong the story kind of sucked, but the graphic was great; something that only few nations can do 4 stars
9/19/07 Ming Not bad.. CG was good , 2 stars
9/19/07 korean I slep in the theater 1 stars
9/18/07 lawdiva It sucked really really really BAAAAD!! 1 stars
9/18/07 Richard So cool.. CG Fantastic!! 5 stars
9/18/07 Kelly Smith The story line was unique.CG was real great,Excellent monster movie! 5 stars
9/18/07 young so so..... 3 stars
9/18/07 HarryCallahan This should have by-passed straight to video,into the bargain bin 1 stars
9/18/07 Josh The acting was realy bad, but the special affect and action really made up for it. 4 stars
9/18/07 Emily I learned Imoogi moves right and left, and dragon moves up and down. That's all 2 stars
9/18/07 Marcy Movie was the bomb!! It rocked and korean myth was cool. 5 stars
9/18/07 Lavada Screw all of you! the story was great, and the action ! 5 stars
9/18/07 loving this site admire director's courage..great attempt! loved it! 4 stars
9/18/07 Mike I really regret my money,I would like to meet the writer of the script and ask for my money 1 stars
9/17/07 Sung Min I'm a proud Korean and I gotta say this was just garbage. We need Chan Wook Park in the U.S 1 stars
9/17/07 Sara WTF did I just watch? Complete trash, I think 1 stars
9/17/07 ham crap? hell no. the CG was 100%perfeCt. Great Movie. ACtion aNd CG JOb was aMazing 5 stars
9/17/07 Jason crap. 1 stars
9/17/07 Jim shigemi Dragon wars --This movie rocked in every possible way, two thumbs up!! 5 stars
9/17/07 big lou I can't wait to see this movie --- on Mystery Science Theater!!! 1 stars
9/17/07 HAROLD the CG Graphic quality in Dragon war was gorgeous. The story line was pretty unique ! 5 stars
9/17/07 Ralph If you think it was on a par with Godzilla and Jurassic Park, you oviously didn't see those 1 stars
9/17/07 steve all my friends say dragon war is the best movie of the year. we loved it 5 stars
9/17/07 Deanna Did crack heads make this movie? We laughed ourselves silly. 1 stars
9/17/07 nayoun kim I was laughing at some childish scenes but amazing CG and original dragon story. 4 stars
9/16/07 Dylon Man, it's an action movie, obviously the people who though it sucked, weren't high 5 stars
9/16/07 Rexx So bad, a waste of time and money. 1 stars
9/16/07 Richard I don't usually care about anything else on action movies except for the action. not bad 5 stars
9/16/07 Chris Only great when around friends and making fun of it. 1 stars
9/16/07 Sonya All my friends enjoyed D-WAR ! 5 stars
9/16/07 John acting was stiff, SFX were amazing, awesome action movie 4 stars
9/16/07 Lakemich Great movies for kids, lots of action and explosion. 4 stars
9/16/07 Rachel I think it was pretty interesting.. 5 stars
9/16/07 John it was the worst movie ever. 0 out of 100 1 stars
9/16/07 Sean McL Worst movie Ive seen in a loong time...I wanted to walk out! 1 stars
9/16/07 Anthony Not sure what worse , the acting , the plot or the SFX 1 stars
9/16/07 sunny Wonderful story~Better than "Under dog"!!! 5 stars
9/16/07 Carlie I, surprisingly liked the movie. It wasn't the best movie but it was fun. 4 stars
9/16/07 Billy so.. Good!!.. to sleep.. 1 stars
9/16/07 Jeff Anderson Just Horrible 1 stars
9/16/07 Tracy This movie was just plain horrible, terrible acting, editing, direction, and story. 1 stars
9/15/07 Tyler WORST Move i have EVER seen!! 1 stars
9/15/07 oh come on people you are being too harsh -0- just to balance 5 stars
9/15/07 Tommy Yes, acting sucked, especially the storyline, but the action was great fun. 4 stars
9/15/07 Stephen I should've thought twice about it. Acting sucked and so did the story line. 1 stars
9/15/07 Bill This could single handedly inspire Servo and the boys to bring back MST3K. 1 stars
9/15/07 Tony Young Best review yet for this trite, sexist retarded crapfest 1 stars
9/15/07 Jay Lee Crap, Crap , Crap, Crap , Crap, Crap 1 stars
9/15/07 Eric Good story, poorly told. But action sequences were breathtaking. See on big screen! 4 stars
9/15/07 mike i really like the LA fighting scene whocares about the deep story line is an action film 5 stars
9/15/07 Ricky the actors stunk.but this movie is kew~! 5 stars
9/15/07 Andy This picture was cheating the kids in summer vacation in Korea and out of their parents $ 1 stars
9/15/07 1818 yeah.... well it was little bit childish but pretty good nice try... nice try 4 stars
9/15/07 Danny Not bad. i dont know why ppl give 1 star 5 stars
9/15/07 Carlos Hey My 5th Grader worked on this flim it was an end of year project. but he a retard. 1 stars
9/15/07 Lauren Wasted an hour and a half of my life that I'll sadly never get back. 1 stars
9/15/07 D-war worst movie ever...korea should get nuked for this 1 stars
9/15/07 sylvia great pictures! 5 stars
9/15/07 Debbie What an incredibly bad, boring Godzilla/Power Ranger remake! The actors stunk. 1 stars
9/15/07 Stephen A Mystery Science Theater worthy piece of crap. 1 stars
9/15/07 david better graphics and story than Transformers~ 5 stars
9/15/07 Kitty I went with five friends, and we ended up just heckling it. CGI was great, though. 2 stars
9/15/07 Sam Gardner The Secretary of Defense takes a shotgun off the wall and cocks it.. 500 miles away from LA 1 stars
9/15/07 Erica Anderson for special effect!!! story was kind of hard to understand but i think...pretty good movie! 5 stars
9/14/07 super cool dude so amazingly bad, that it was so amazingly hilarious, its snakesonaplane but w/ more action 1 stars
9/14/07 Mike I didn't know they made movies as bad as this anymore!!I was wrong... 1 stars
9/14/07 Lorper Par Alsome movie first movie to have a korean producer but the movie in english 5 stars
9/14/07 Aaron This movie was awesome precisely because I went with friends and we heckled it mercilessly. 4 stars
9/14/07 Eric Heba If you want to lose an hour and a half of your life, go see this movie 1 stars
9/14/07 Eddie This movie was horrible.. an over done Godzilla movie. 1 stars
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  14-Sep-2007 (PG-13)
  DVD: 08-Jan-2008



Directed by
  Hyung-rae Shim

Written by

  Jason Behr
  Amanda Brooks
  Robert Forster
  Elizabeth PeŮa
  Chris Mulkey
  Craig Robinson
  Holmes Osbourne

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