There's Something About Mary

Reviewed By BBReBozo
Posted 09/14/98 00:39:58

"I can't get that stupid closing title song out of my head!"
4 stars (Worth A Look)

Okay this movie is funny, there's no doubt about that.

The zipper scene is funny enough (or sick enough, depending on your POV) for the price of admission. Matt Dillon is fantastic. Chris Elliot is, as always, solidly smarmy. Cameron Diaz is a cute as a bug's anus… errrrr ear. (I always mess that one up!)

The scrot scene is sick. They make fun of 'tards. A puppy dog gets his ass kicked throughout. Mary spreads a load of dolphin sweat in her golden locks. I don't think I'm giving away any crucial plot points here.

But dare I say it? This was not the funniest movie of the decade… In fact it probably wasn't even the funniest movie of the year (not with The Big Lebowski in the running). In fact, some of the scenes/lines that had me howling were met with virtual indifference by the rest of the small theater crowd (I'm thinking specifically of Matt Dillon's hilarious "goofy bastards" speech). Then again, laughing aloud at inappropriate times is nothing new for me. Ask me how I got kicked out of "Schindler's List" another time…

At first I was going to mention the double standard prevalent in hypersensitive American culture for making such a "politically incorrect" movie the number one grossing film in the land for two weeks in a row. Then I came to my senses. Why ruin a good thing by overanalyzing it?

One hundred points to Diaz for nearly showing her naked breasts and spending practically the entire movie sans bra. Unfortunately Diaz is disqualified from eligibility for starting a real-life affair with Matt Dillon who, despite a good performance in this movie, is a dildo. O points.

Four hundred fifty points for all the retard jokes. Minus 200 points for not enough funny retard jokes. 250 points.

Sixty seven points for every scene involving hurting that annoying little rodent dog. Minus 66 points for not casting the mutt from "As Good As it Gets." 1 point.

Total points: 251 points OR at least as funny as Dumb and Dumber.

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