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Overall Rating
3.13

Awesome: 24.34%
Worth A Look: 17.99%
Just Average: 17.99%
Pretty Crappy25.93%
Sucks: 13.76%

11 reviews, 123 user ratings


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Gone in 60 Seconds (2000)
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by desdemona

"The title is really just a euphemism for how quickly the plot disappeared."
2 stars

Look! It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's yet another cliched, overdone, typical, predictable, just-plain-bad action flick pumped out of Jerry Bruckheimer's assembly line of action movies! Plot? Shit, who needs that when you've got a totally hot chick, a plethora of exotic cars, and almost supernaturally complicated car chases?

Don't get me wrong. I love Angelina Jolie. I really do. But even she could not make up for this movie's complete reliance on all things overdone in action films--or perhaps "film" is the wrong word to use as it denotes some kind of artistic quality that action movies utterly lack. And besides, Jolie was hardly even in the movie.

The story is about a retired car thief named Memphis Raines (good ol' Nick Cage), who just so happens to conveniently be almost a legend when it comes to stealing cars, whose estranged brother Kip (Giovanni Ribisi--a wasted talent in this movie) who followed big bro's criminal footsteps totally boffs a big job that he was given by this really scary British villain-type who then decides to kidnap Kip and force Memphis to do a huge job of stealing 50 cars in 4 days or little bro' dies. If you change the names around a bit, you'll eventually find that you've seen this movie about 100 times before, whether it be on prime-time HBO or on the Saturday Night matinee on USA.

So Memphis gets some of his buddies to help him out with this big job--oh, of course not before he goes through this big moral dilemma of choosing between saving his brother's ass or staying clean of crime as he promised himself and his mother...can you see where this is going yet or should I spell it out in big bold capitalized letters? Okay, moral crisis averted, Memphis gathers a gang of his old car-thief buddies, and what a bunch they are. Of course all of them have cleaned up their acts, but they are all willing to do this to help Memphis and his kid brother. How chokingly noble. So, in this jolly group of miscreants there is a very large man who calls himself Sphinx who also doesn't speak, a black man who portrays what has become something of a stereotypical black figure in primarily white movies targeted at white folks--the comical black guy that talks about how "this Negro's gettin' his black ass outta here." And there are two of them in this movie, to boot. Then there's Sway, played by the lovely Angelina Joile (oh, c'mon, who DOESN'T have a thing for her?), Memphis's ex-girlfriend that still harbors some hostilities towards him but gets over it in time to help out with the heist. Don't get mad, you would've figured that out on your own, anyway.

But what would an action movie be without the opposing forces, the villains, the bad guys, the foils, the antagonists? Oh, they're in there. Don't you worry your pretty little head about it. First, there are two cops hot on Memphis's tail from the very beginning--and of course their timing on everything is impeccably convenient, yet not always perfectly in sync with the action (as is to be expected). Then there's the scary British guy (Christopher Eccleston--Shallow Grave, Jude)who is running the show and who apparently also is the Satan of car thieves, and we get plenty of action from his whiny as. Then there's the gang of black thugs that are trying to stop Memphis from doing anything in the way of cars because he's on their "turf." So the movie offers plenty of painfully predictable curve balls lightly tossed at the protagonists, but I must wonder why they cannot see these things coming from eight miles away when everyone watching the movie can? It's almost like watching a horror movie and telling the big-breasted blonde girl not to go upstairs--no matter how often you tell her, she always goes anyway. No matter how many times you tell the hero of the action movie to look out for this or that guy, he always seems to fall right into the trap, only to jump back out of it unscathed.

Then, of course, there are the unexpected catastrophes that occur along the way that we're just not sure if the characters can get themselves out of, but we know they will because there's still another hour left of the movie--but it still looks pretty grim at the time. These little jams create a lot of theatrical tension that draws the audience's attention away from the major bad thing happening by diverting it with many little bad things that are promptly remedied but still serve their purpose of almost ruining everything for the good guys and distracting the audience from realizing just how empty the plot actually is.

One good thing about this movie is the admittedly cool car chase sequence with Nick Cage in "Eleanor"--a 1967 Mustang Shelby GT 500, a real beaut. Although some of the things he did would be flat-out impossible, the magic of the movies (which is basically a form of amnesia in which a person loses his sense of logic for physical reality) made it cool. And I will say that it makes me want to turn to a life of crime...I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing yet. But the cars in the movie were AWESOME! Gorgeous, rare, exotic, foreign...they're all in there. This movie is actually just worth watching for the cars. Seriously.

I wish there were more good things to say about it, but there aren't. I was thoroughly disappointed. The acting, however good, was wasted. The directing was good in terms of action sequences but bad in terms of everything else, the screenplay was shoddy at best. Even the action could have had more pizazz. The thing about this movie is that EVERY SINGLE ASPECT IS PREDICTABLE AND CLICHED. Everything. Every sappy moment when a character comes to some sort of revelation, every twist and turn in the story, every movement each character makes and every word uttered by every person. This kind of movie could be mapped out, for God's sake. It could be (and pretty much is) the template for all other action movies. A mold to make more out of. And completely unrealistic, at that. This movie relied more on completely overdone ideas than any other in a long, long time.

I love how the movie successfully avoided any irony at all by making the so-called "good guys" RETIRED car thieves. Not professionals making a living off of it, but a bunch of people whose lives have all been nearly ruined because of it. That's just something I noticed and thought I'd share. A little bit of morality in your Friday-night action flick.

Boring, boring, boring machismo crap that can't even live up to being called machismo crap. Can we maybe stop making action movies for, like, a year? Just stop making them, take a bit of a breather, maybe spend that time thinking of a new script to cycle amongst them all. You know, let the dust settle before kicking it back up again.

link directly to this review at https://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=1808&reviewer=86
originally posted: 06/24/00 03:40:35
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User Comments

9/13/17 morris campbell will be gone from your memory in 60 seconds 1 stars
6/21/15 David Hollingsworth not the way to make a movie 1 stars
7/23/10 bagwell5 A guilty pleasure of mine. Cool cars but way over the top action. 3 stars
8/28/08 Shaun Wallner Cage makes some awesome films. 5 stars
6/10/08 PAUL SHORTT A FILM THAT ENTERTAINS WITHOUT BEING ANY GOOD 2 stars
2/03/08 Pamela White Watch it for the cars not the plot 3 stars
1/22/08 Chase Exciting. Eventhough it had down parts, it was a good movie. And Angelina with blonde hair? 4 stars
10/07/07 KNurse worth the watch 4 stars
9/18/07 Bojan Marjanovic Its awesome and you know it!!! 5 stars
4/18/07 Stevo UK Gone in sixty seconds. I dont mean the film, I mean me. To sleep. 1 stars
11/09/06 NEWTON d art of boosting cars is shown cars are magnificent. True car boosts meet the situations. 5 stars
10/18/06 David Pollastrini better than the original 4 stars
9/04/06 Jarkko Perälä Watch the original instead - At least it had exciting car chases 1 stars
8/31/06 Michele fun 3 stars
8/10/06 S281-E Watch it for the 1967 Shelby GT-500 5 stars
6/26/06 Ashley Hinz Odd, Very, Very, Angelina Odd 3 stars
5/30/06 tatum Not that bad! Some laughs, some action, unclench for two hours and enjoy 4 stars
4/26/06 Anthony Feor I don't think Cage was even acting in this movie 1 stars
3/27/06 Brian Meyer Another bad "heist" remake to reassure the audience of its masculinity. IT SUCKS!!! 1 stars
10/23/05 tony Horrible! no fucking way im watching this again! 1 stars
8/24/05 ES 'would you rather have sex or steal cars' = I'd rather turn the movie off 1 stars
3/06/05 Rock-Steady I though it was a porno, done in 60 seconds? 3 stars
2/04/05 Alice Colwell boring 2 stars
1/27/05 Charlie Another good remake! 4 stars
11/11/04 David Cothern Jr. It Is Something That You Would Want To Watch Over and Over Again 5 stars
10/06/04 Jorge Rivero The 67' shelby mustang gt 500 is badass 4 stars
5/31/04 Nobody See this instead of Fast and Furious! 4 stars
5/21/04 john bale How did Cage Duvall and Jolie get mixed up in this petrol heads bonanza ? 2 stars
5/11/04 Nevz great 5 stars
3/16/04 Brando Okay, "Yea"...itz not. Jackass. 1 stars
1/09/04 Yea da movie was good..how can ya say itz not 5 stars
12/21/03 john yeah let's make a car chase movie with no real car chases - abyssmal!!! 1 stars
12/08/03 Samuel Better than either of the 'Fast and The Furious' films and much more believable as well... 5 stars
11/07/03 Lance 1967 Shelby GT 500...what more is there to say. 5 stars
9/13/03 The real Helen Zass After taunting poor constipated Daisy to death, Here's Angelina's turn to be constipated. 1 stars
3/29/03 Cathy ter Plugg Apparently GIRL INTERRUPTED was a one-time charm for Angelina Jolie. 1 stars
3/23/03 Jack Sommersby A grade-A cast slumming for easy paychecks. Artistically deplorable. 1 stars
1/19/03 Allen This is like a bad episode of "The A-TEAM". 1 stars
11/19/02 buzz 20010 fucking amazing peice of ganga leaves 5 stars
10/26/02 MarktheShark6 A great lineup of actors and cool cars makes this movie the best I've ever seen. 5 stars
10/17/02 BITCHSLAP WOW 5 stars
7/11/02 snowconehead best car chases around 5 stars
5/17/02 Dark Barøn The 1967 Shelby's only thing worth in this film. Just the car. Just.... the car. 2 stars
4/28/02 David A. Mediocre dud about auto thieves. It spawned pathetics like Ocean's 11 (2000) and Heist. 3 stars
3/13/02 craig very good 4 stars
3/09/02 jennifer cheek i love this movie nicholas cage is a great and sexy actor, the dvd sure is in my collection 5 stars
1/27/02 Tiffany Thunderhurst What a waste of Angelina Jolie after GIRL, INTERRUPTED 2 stars
1/16/02 David A. One of those predictable, contemporary science-of-being-a-crook things--blah 2 stars
12/26/01 Phil M. Afficianado Why bother to make a film like this, let alone sxpect people to see it. Yawn. 2 stars
12/14/01 seldom scene LAME STORYLINE, GREAT CINIEMATOGRAPHY 2 stars
12/12/01 Dominik Duprelle Jerk-to-Video crud. The Carpenter is about as menacing as a cheese sandwhich. 2 stars
11/08/01 Mark Great casting, along with great acting. Definetly one of the best of 2000. 5 stars
10/01/01 Phoenix A car chase movie that doesn't deliever one decent car chase. 1 stars
9/02/01 Butterbean Thank goodness it was fast paced. Watch "The fast and the furious" instead 2 stars
8/20/01 P.Rodriguez F&*^ Shit-----Rank Hardcore Tripe-----There should B a SUCKS ALL ASS & DICK CATEGORY 1 stars
8/05/01 ted v. the poster was GOOD! the film was PRETTY LAME! 2 stars
8/01/01 JoseFlores Its a very awesome 5 stars
7/11/01 braden h kicks fucking ass 5 stars
7/05/01 SeStA THIS IS A KICK ARSE FILM! Nicholas Cage rox as well as Angelina Jolie, go see it go go go!! 5 stars
7/02/01 TLsmooth How in the fuck did that ugly-ass bitch Nick Cage become a fucking star? 1 stars
6/09/01 edgar the best movie ever 5 stars
6/05/01 Julia Somit this is the best movie i love the cars and i love the chase scenes 5 stars
6/05/01 Katrina This movie was the best. Whats wrong with you people 5 stars
5/22/01 Jordana Bernall This movie kicks ass! 5 stars
5/15/01 P.Rodriguez GEEEZZZ Seem Like Hollywood is short on orginal and decent ideas..............very short. 1 stars
5/13/01 Basil stupid movie. 1 stars
5/04/01 Mamdouh M. Mehaimeed not what i expected,,,, 3 stars
4/26/01 Dom Corleone Absolutely pathetic - insulting hollywood trash 1 stars
4/22/01 Dave B Mathew Bartley..fuck you!!..the shelbyGT 500 makes the movie the BEST EVER!! 5 stars
4/01/01 Jesse L Angelina Jolie is a horrible actress but Cage makes it happen... 4 stars
3/19/01 johnny 1 That 1967 shelby is fucking some nice shit 5 stars
3/13/01 andrew it was the best movie ever 5 stars
3/12/01 David Best movie ever 5 stars
3/07/01 jeremy i love the part with the 1976 shelby mustang gt 500 theat part is aswome i wish i had one. 5 stars
3/02/01 Ariel Bradford AWESOME! plus the cars rock and Nick is hott! 5 stars
2/28/01 HyDRo The best fucking movie I have ever seen 5 stars
2/28/01 Wesley Olvera it's a very good car movie 4 stars
2/21/01 Monday Morning Nic rocks, action trucks, Ribisi sucks. This is a hip flick overall, tho'. 4 stars
2/17/01 Anderson Excellent for car fanatics!!!!!! 5 stars
2/17/01 Steven Armet WOW this was awesome 5 stars
2/13/01 Paul AMAZING 5 stars
2/12/01 adf sweet as all fucking hell 5 stars
2/01/01 Dan Waldman Give it a minute & you'll forget it. 2 stars
1/24/01 dog a kick ass movie only a car guy could appricate 5 stars
1/13/01 Avenger Girl Phfff! Dissapointing-should have been a lot better with more action less crap chat. 3 stars
1/05/01 Steve This movie has the best looking cars,not to mention Angelina Jolie................... 5 stars
1/02/01 FrayLo I don't understand how anyone can like this movie...carchases==cheesy, just plain sucks 1 stars
12/12/00 Dan Shaw The film is one of the best i have ever seen and the best film of the year 5 stars
12/09/00 Erik Koenig I really enjoyed this movie. Both the cars and the story line were hot. 5 stars
11/04/00 Gray Cage, Jolie and Ribisi have no chance to act. They only characters in this were the cars. 1 stars
10/25/00 Dave Jackson Bad. Really Really Bad. Bad Acting. Bad Direction. Bad Edit. Bad Script. Bad.... 1 stars
9/07/00 Richard Wright ,Saw it, thought it was O.K don't remember anything about it now, don't wanna see it again. 3 stars
9/04/00 nick it was the best 5 stars
9/03/00 The Extreaminizer Sweet-Ass Folow-Up to The Rock, Con Air, Armageddon, and Enemy of the State; Great Movie. 5 stars
8/30/00 Eran nice,I enjoyed watching it ,while taking all the time about everything 4 stars
8/24/00 goran awesome 5 stars
7/24/00 Charley Sigler I thought it was a very good movie with great action sequences. 5 stars
7/20/00 Jokko Not worth a rental. Good chases? HELL NO. Boring movie with lame "action", bad performances 1 stars
7/07/00 Zaw check it out. 5 stars
7/06/00 Olyphant The 1st Cage-Bruckheimer actioner that bored me. So many cool actors, so little acting. Sad 3 stars
7/01/00 Belinda Rental 3 stars
6/30/00 Mr J M HARWOOD Sick, did not see enough of ANGELINA JOLIE 5 stars
6/29/00 PJ a great chase scene does not a movie make. MTV crap, pointless, Cage should be ashamed! 2 stars
6/27/00 lina so what if it was predicatable... it had great action ...awesome car chases ... 5 stars
6/27/00 furtively The title IS the review. Gone in 60 Seconds. 2 stars
6/26/00 Paige Pretty lame. Good rental for a rainy Sunday. 2 stars
6/26/00 Pierce Lanson Plot full of holes, (why'd they let brother go??) absolutely predictable, crap. 2 stars
6/25/00 Bubby I kewpt looking for something to slit my wrists with! 1 stars
6/25/00 Mike Better then I had expected... but not as good as The Rock or other cage films 4 stars
6/23/00 malcolm not nearly enough chases for a car thief film. Giovanni Ribisi grossly underused 3 stars
6/20/00 Mortis I felt fully manipulated and I LOVED IT!!! Cage rocks! Angelina rolls! 4 stars
6/16/00 Will yawn. 2 stars
6/13/00 Joe Richards A car chase movie with 1 car chase? 2 stars
6/13/00 PJ Great car chase scene at the end, that's pretty much it, mtv crap with some good parts 3 stars
6/12/00 Obi Wan Expected to see some crazy car chases, mad action since this was Jerry Bruckheimer..SUCKED! 2 stars
6/12/00 Heather Keith Expected plot twists, but actually done well. I'd certainly never call it boring! 4 stars
6/12/00 PhilmPhreak Pretty lame. 3 stars
6/12/00 Captain Highcrime I guess the high price of gas affected the number & duration of chases, stays in PARK a lot 3 stars
6/12/00 Simon Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. 3 stars
6/10/00 "Persnickety" it's cool if you like car chases and cage, other then that it was ok 4 stars
6/08/00 The Rock This is what I wanted out of MI-2..a mindless action, high energy movie 5 stars
6/08/00 Jokko This guy's wrong -- this movie sucked beginning to end. Chases are boring. Acting is awful. 1 stars
6/04/00 D. Simpson Cage is back where he belongs. The cast is dynamic all the way, & extraordinary car chases! 5 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  09-Jun-2000 (PG-13)
  DVD: 07-Jun-2005

UK
  N/A

Australia
  29-Jun-2000 (M)




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