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Overall Rating

Worth A Look: 18.24%
Just Average: 9.43%
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Sucks: 14.47%

4 reviews, 135 user ratings

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Return of the Jedi
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by TheMole

"Why o' why are the Care-Bears in this movie?"
4 stars

The Star Wars Trilogy Special Edition was a pretty big deal for me, never having seen the first two films on a big screen. And so of course I was whet as a Catholic school girl before the altar when 'A New Hope' hit theaters.

Seeing it on a big screen helped emphasize strengths and weaknesses of the film I'd never taken quite as keen notice of before. What struck me from the very beginning is how different a movie it would have been had anyone else composed the score. John Williams' composition so perfectly played up the movie's sense of grandeur and awe, whereas in lesser hands it might have played off the movie's more cornball elements, of which there are undeniably plenty. The movie still rocks, though!

Many film critics mocked 'A New Hope' for its hokey religion of ‘the force.' I fuckin' hate most critics, they're so full of shit it makes me want to learn the fine art of mailbombing. The movie isn't about having faith in any mythology or ideology or religion called The Force, it's about the human spirit triumphing over technology, it's about looking within and depending on inner-strength for guidance. These are hardly notions to be scoffed at or so easily dismissed.

'The Empire Strikes Back' is my personal favorite of the three, and seeing it on a large screen in its full aspect ratio was quite an experience. It's simply a(n almost) perfect piece of filmmaking fantasy. The fact that it isn't a complete story, that it begins shortly after the destruction of the Death Star and ends without any kind of resolution, somehow only adds to its charm. And really the story is so simple, yet its filled with so many quirky moments and details which flesh that world out in a much more convincing way than either film before or after it.

What struck me most watching 'Empire,' though, was how strongly it hinted towards many of the paths the third film could've taken but didn't.

What happens in ‘Empire?'

When Luke is leaving the Degeba system, Obi Wan says, "He was our last hope," to which Yoda responds, "No, there is another." To whom was he referring? Leai obviously, meaning that she too could have trained to be a Jedi.

What happens in 'Jedi?'

We learn that, lo and behold, Leai is Luke's sister, therefore also the daughter of Darth Vader. But that's all that's explored in this relationship, is the simple revelation of it. Leai never confronts her father or learns anything of the force. She's left in the background to befriend the Ewoks and act as Han Solo's love interest, while Luke once again confronts his father alone.

What happens in 'Empire?'

Luke confronts Vader, who urges him to give into his feelings of hate and join the dark side, and that together they could rule the galaxy as father and son.

What happens in 'Jedi?'

Luke confronts Vader and the Emperor, this time the Emperor going on and on about giving in to his feelings of hate and joining the dark side. Take the Emperor out of the picture and it's the same scene as from 'Empire,' only nowhere near as neat-o. The Emperor was a lameass character anyway--he looked like Ed McMahon after a heavy night of boozin', which isn't scary, at least not in a good way.

And since it's already hinted at in 'Empire' that "joining the dark side" is apparently not a difficult leap of emotion to make, then why not have Luke do just that, be lured to the dark side and join his father? Then Leai could have learned the ways of the force, confronted both Luke and her father, and bring them back to the good side of the force or somethin'. Shit, I don't know! I just get the feeling that 'Return of the Jedi' could have had such a better fucking plot.

What happens in 'Star Wars?'

The rebellion attacks and destroys the Death Star.

What happens in 'Jedi?'

Same thing. Was there really any need to bring back the Death Star for the final film? It was a great plot device in the first film, but, c'mon, couldn't they have come up with something more original?

As for the Ewoks, they weren't a bad idea, to show this primitive tribe help the Rebellion overthrow the Empire. But they're played for such maximum Barney-like bland cutesiness it causes me to wretch. And the ending when after destroying the Death Star (again) they celebrate by getting down with the Ewoks...? WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF CARE-BEAR ENDING IS THAT?!

Despite its shortcomings, I'm giving 'Return of the Jedi' a strong recommendation, 'cause it's still a fine piece of escapist entertainment. And frankly, after the walking migraine that was Jar Jar, the Ewoks are looking more goddamned lovable every freakin' day!

link directly to this review at https://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=212&reviewer=177
originally posted: 11/11/99 08:13:35
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User Comments

11/29/19 Paul L I love it, the best Star Wars movie IMO! 5 stars
5/07/18 Suzanne The Luke/Darth Vader battle is thrilling; the Ewoks are cute. 4 stars
12/22/15 Lisa H Hugely disappointing.The tone is too childish and the pace drags. 2 stars
3/22/15 HunterB return of the king kick jedi and randall ( clerks 2 ) ass everyday. 1 stars
3/02/15 james hictchock the plot was terrible: death star destroyed and then death star comeback 1 stars
2/27/15 ewoks the worst star wars film in my opinion 2 stars
2/26/15 dylan gordon there's only one return this ain't the king it's of jedi LOLZ 1 stars
2/16/15 eywa only one truly good film in this world in my life 1 stars
2/14/15 juan bastian i remember randall saying in clerks 2" that's only one return" LOL 1 stars
2/14/15 jason gracio i really found twilight are better 1 stars
6/22/14 M W star wars 5 stars
12/01/09 pnclshrpnr Lucas might have been out of ideas, but the gaps were filled and its still quite enjoyable 5 stars
8/08/09 jim star wars shit. 1 stars
12/09/08 andy 'jedi' comes as a huge disappointment after the much more intense and emotional prequel 1 stars
10/21/08 Shaun Wallner Great Film! 5 stars
7/02/07 Jimster only one return!im so convinced lol 1 stars
4/18/07 Stevo UK Earth to lucas: STOP MAKING KIDDIES SHITE. 1 stars
1/27/07 David Pollastrini never a big fan 4 stars
1/19/07 droidshit!! should crawl back to the shallow-end of the film makeing genepool 1 stars
12/23/06 del There's only one RETURN and that's OF THE JEDI. Now go whip out your "precious"!!! HAHAHA 4 stars
7/24/06 David Cohen It was this was that began the dumbing down of the franchise, which continues to this day 3 stars
5/25/06 drydock54321 love it but too many puppets 5 stars
5/12/06 chris f ditto with hunts review 5 stars
1/13/06 hunt my favorite part about star wars movie is when darth vader kills the darth sidious 4 stars
12/04/05 cody in my opinion the best of them all, yes l like the ewoks, a great ending to boot 5 stars
10/27/05 chris great film with a great ending 11/10 5 stars
9/12/05 Zack rally good 5 stars
9/01/05 ES Lucas obviously was never a genius, enjoy your millions you hack 3 stars
8/27/05 Quigley the ewoks were so incredibly lame. they appeared, like, everywhere! Empire is much better. 3 stars
8/25/05 EZ Great film and even better triolgy 5 stars
6/20/05 R as for the DVD, hayden at the end is a disgrace. (so why didn't obi wan regress in age?) 5 stars
6/11/05 Gecko Fanfoot Wow! Those Ewoks are SOOOO realistic! Fooled me completely! 1 stars
6/10/05 Stan awesome movie. not as good as ep. 4 and 5. but still great ending. 5 stars
6/08/05 Naruto horrible 1 stars
6/04/05 Ubu the Ripper Lucas was more involved on this than Empire, and it shows. Warm puke. 4 stars
5/24/05 JFK great end of the best trilogy of sci fi cinema 5 stars
5/19/05 Jonny Sissys vote for Empire, real men back Jedi 5 stars
4/25/05 Pippin007 Good Movie! 4 stars
4/19/05 Cassander Empire should have won 5 stars
3/24/05 indrid cold Secretely I always liked this one the best of the three. 5 stars
2/16/05 Cody my favorite star wars movie, the empire falls! great movie! 5 stars
2/03/05 Dan FUCKING AWESOME!!! 5 stars
1/12/05 Tom Benton Nearly killed by the Ewoks, "Jedi" is a great film, albeit the worst of the trilogy. 5 stars
1/02/05 t-1000 jabba's and the ewok's scenes are rubbish 1 stars
12/08/04 Kristina Williams fuck the ewoks 5 stars
11/05/04 gray good 5 stars
9/23/04 Clock Quality of this movie made me question my faith... 2 stars
9/20/04 Vicious THe Empororor was an awsome villian. 5 stars
9/13/04 Travis Masterpiece. 5 stars
8/21/04 Peter James I think it is the best in the Star Wars series 5 stars
8/18/04 courtney well done by the cast a must see to fit the others 5 stars
7/09/04 Bobbo First two were better but a fitting ending to the series. Anyone who says differently sucks 5 stars
5/31/04 Nobody DON'T DISS THE EWOKS!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
5/28/04 Brian Jacobson Best Star Wars film ever! 5 stars
5/05/04 dead next door love the battle between father and son. 3 stars
2/20/04 Joe My least favorite of all the Star Wars flicks. 1 stars
2/04/04 c.r My most favorite star wars movie of all time, I love the ewok battle! 4 stars
1/24/04 Elena I cried when I saw this in theatres because it was so amazing. I'm not a nerd.. uh, i swear 5 stars
1/13/04 Eric Really silly and boring. 1 stars
12/08/03 john more of a kids movie - could not stand on its own - disappointing 2 stars
11/03/03 American Slasher Goddess The weakest of the series, but still pretty good. 4 stars
10/06/03 DM Wonderful- but the weakest of the original trilogy 5 stars
8/10/03 Mike Krasienko Niggas I got bluud on ma dick cuz i fuckin luved dis movi. Y'all sum bitches! 5 stars
4/17/03 Jon "Thumb the Toad" Lyrik Oh, come on. The Ewoks were only in the movie for like a minute. 5 stars
3/31/03 Luke Skywalker I blew up the Ewoks... 5 stars
3/03/03 Jack Sommersby More of a Muppet Mice than an adventure. Weakly acted and bloated. 2 stars
11/26/02 Ahhhhh!!!! This will definitely go down as the worst Ep. Such a weak culimination to the series - sad. 1 stars
11/06/02 Joe Stark (Bio Man) I love the Ewoks to death! I wonder if they can be dissected? Hmm........ 5 stars
10/18/02 Ewok Lover Deluxe A perfect way to end the saga, and features the best space battle of all time! 5 stars
10/17/02 Flynn How did Ewoks armed with sticks beat soldiers in body armor? 3 stars
8/14/02 Tim This movie totally makes attack of the clones look like a puppy. 5 stars
7/20/02 KMG ------------YAWN------------- 3 stars
7/04/02 gary vidmar Scene at end with emperor and vader/luke was one of the best ever. Best SW film to date! 5 stars
6/14/02 Mama Vidmar If I were not married, I would totally go for Palpatine! Whatta movie! 5 stars
6/06/02 Joe Levy This is another unbelievable addition to the already epic Star Wars Saga! 5 stars
4/26/02 maximal01 That bloated bastard Darth Vader may have killed the Emperor, but he should've killed Luke. 5 stars
4/03/02 Priscilla Postlethwaite Best in trilogy for absence of garbage scene & miscast Fisher has less chance to screw up. 5 stars
2/27/02 Shrike Not as good as Ep4 and Ep5 but still good 4 stars
2/19/02 Brian Jacobson oh, gag me. 1 stars
1/03/02 Matt Utt This movie is just a great ending to an already epic saga. Unbelievable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
12/07/01 Axe Murderer i agree with connoisseur......the movie is fun 5 stars
12/05/01 Andrew Carden Good Ewok Scenes, but Slow Screenplay and Too Many Subplots. 4 stars
12/02/01 travis r. sorensen ewoks are too cute and can rocks and arrows really kill stormtroopers? 4 stars
9/13/01 D'Morph Its a shame the Imperials get treated so badly. They make cool badguys. But the ewoks SUCK! 3 stars
9/05/01 spaceworm Watch it agian after contemplating "Phantom Menace." 4 stars
8/06/01 Mr. Hat (formerly Joe Zappa) This is great! 4 stars
7/14/01 Rampage more kick-ass than ID4! Curse those Ewoks! 5 stars
7/09/01 TLsmooth I would love to wipe my ass with an Ewok, those little fucking satans. 5 stars
6/03/01 keith langman just as fun to watch as the others but not as good weakest of the two 4 stars
4/01/01 Jesse L Just hated the Ewoks but a great flick 4 stars
2/21/01 waldiddy a decent action film, but a disappointment next to the first 2 Star Wars films 3 stars
2/16/01 Michael Nicholls Once you've overcome teddy-bear hatred, this is a perfect conclusion... 5 stars
2/14/01 KyLe*BrOfLoVsKi A perfect end to a timeless sci-fi epic. 5 stars
1/19/01 viking The final battle between Luke and Darth Vader was great. The Ewoks sucked. 5 stars
1/06/01 The Evil Penguin the most likeable in the trilogy 5 stars
12/27/00 Turtle The best Star Wars movie so far. Harrison Ford at his best! 5 stars
12/21/00 Destruction Worker Yeah, it's pretty good but.....WHERE IS THE DVD?!? 5 stars
12/14/00 Tom How many trilogies link so well that it feels like they are the one movie?! Wonderful! 5 stars
11/27/00 Cristopher Revilla It wasn't that great, but it was still good, the new music in the end kinda sucks 4 stars
11/20/00 The Bill Head Excellent third installment manages to uphold the quality of the series...Menace killed it 5 stars
10/29/00 Big Al my fav movie of all time, empire number two,star wars # 3 5 stars
8/10/00 Brian Jacobson The Weakest film of the Original trilogy. 1 stars
8/06/00 Jed Sorry David but I did like this film. But why do people hate the ewoks? THEY RULE! 4 stars
6/30/00 Deckard From the utter majesty of 'Empire' to THIS?What a disappointment. 1 stars
6/04/00 Will the new ending song sucks, bring back the old ending song. 3 stars
5/30/00 danilo great ending, it's better than star wars but not as good as Empire 5 stars
5/13/00 Bat My personal favorite. 5 stars
4/19/00 malcolm worst of the middle three. best lightsaber and starfighter battles. TheMole is a dumbass. 3 stars
4/12/00 Rita All I wanna know is How Boba Fett got so fucking big! He was in it for like 2 damn seconds! 4 stars
4/02/00 perverted pixie Luke gets very creepy, but hey! It has ewoks and a happy ending! 4 stars
3/01/00 Ionicera The ending just doesn't give satisfactory closure to this incredible series 4 stars
2/06/00 Kyle Broflovski One suggestion, though: Keep Sy Snoodles & Yazzum, ditch the fucking Ewoks. 5 stars
1/18/00 Jedi15 A perfect ending to the Trilogy! 5 stars
11/11/99 alyssa A classic. Not able to act? I have 2 words for ya - Capt. Kirk. 5 stars
11/09/99 Gary Durso See it you will, yes hum. 5 stars
7/04/99 Ben Leostein Rating: *** (out of ****) Category: "Good" 4 stars
6/09/99 Hungry Hungry Hippo Nice to see a Jedi kick some arse. More dead ewoks would have been nice. 5 stars
5/27/99 Bob, Lord of Evil Gungans vs Ewoks. Ewoks you don't have to even bother figuring out what they're saying. 5 stars
5/26/99 Allen Paulsen Luke acted like to much of a fruit cake, I don't care if he was at peace with the force 3 stars
5/21/99 Cage What is the deal with the hate against the Ewoks? Are we the only species? Give it up. 5 stars
5/09/99 Arkansas Jon Appropriate ending to trilogy. Even Ewoks can't derail the holy trilogy. 5 stars
1/28/99 Vick Di Brecci Best exploration of Darth Vader's character, best Mark Hamill perf, on a par with other two 5 stars
1/11/99 I.P. Freeley Mark Hamill was great! Even the Ewoks were funny! 5 stars
1/09/99 Dasha Not bad, but Mark Hamill is no dramatic actor. 3 stars
10/29/98 Silent Rob Better than your average Star Wars rip-off, but a rip-off none-the-less! 3 stars
9/24/98 Jeff Hayward The saga of the slave owning Rebellion ends, at last. 1 stars
9/16/98 Trav This movie was always lame, and the Special Edition is WORSE! 1 stars
9/10/98 The incredible, edible GKR The best of the 3 5 stars
9/07/98 Swan Ugh! GL sold out 2 the toy companies! Goddam EWOGS! I'll never trust GL again! Slime! 1 stars
8/20/98 The Man With The Helmet Not the best of the holy trilogy 3 stars
8/16/98 Johny Works on once viewing only, awful in others 2 stars
8/16/98 J-Guy (The MFC) Good flick. I enjoy it, but only after watching the first two. 4 stars
8/16/98 {{{OZ}}} Luke is such a pussy-ass ho. Still a great movie though. He loses a hand n'shit. 4 stars
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  25-May-1983 (PG)
  DVD: 12-Sep-2006



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