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Overall Rating
2.07

Awesome: 2.86%
Worth A Look: 5.71%
Just Average: 27.14%
Pretty Crappy: 24.29%
Sucks40%

5 reviews, 40 user ratings


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Bats
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by Charles Tatum

"Guano"
1 stars

Take flight, or hide in a cave, either way you cannot escape the stupidity of this film.

Dina Meyer is the beautiful bat zoologist Sheila, who is recruited to fly to little Gallup, Texas to investigate some strange bat attacks. Her wisecracking assistant, Jimmy (Leon), is along, able to lighten any bloody situation with a "funny" line.

In west Texas, she meets with hunky sheriff Kimsey (Lou Diamond Phillips). Sheila and Kimsey immediately do the cute verbal sparring routine, and investigate the strange bat attacks while making goo goo eyes at each other. Our bat hunting crew is completed by CDC guy/"I'll be dead before you know it" Hodge (Carlos Jacott) and the mad scientist McCabe (Bob Gunton, who was better as the warden in "The Shawshank Redemption").

The group looks at the remains of a couple of people who were killed in the opening minutes by the bats. The bats were genetically mutated by McCabe, and this mutation is being passed on to other local bats. These bats are collective and able to work together to achieve a common goal- eat people.

The small town of Gallup is overrun, in a seriously flawed flight of reason, and everyone is evacuated, except our bat hunters (minus the dead Hodge). Using satellite technology, they discover the bats are hanging out in an abandoned mine, and they must get rid of them before the military (who ain't got time to listen to book smart science-types, they just want to blow stuff up) drops a few bombs on the place...which would actually release the bats across the country...but who said they ever had the public's good in mind?

Typical Hollywood military treatment. As military jets that haven't been used in fifteen years fly toward the mine, Sheila, Kimsey, and Jimmy work to blow things up themselves, saving the audience from bats and a suggested sequel.

Believe everything negative you have heard about "Bats." The screenwriter's idea of character development is to have the sheriff listen to opera while the group barricades themselves in an abandoned school. Why did the evil McCabe make the evil bats? Don't really know, there are some vague mumblings about the perfect killing machines (something we have never encountered before in superior films) and being able to control them, but we never get a sense of a master diabolical plan. Leon, who has been much better in other films, is embarassing here. He is given such weak comic relief, I am wondering if he read the script before he signed on.

In the first bat attack on the bat hunters, Kimsey and Sheila jump in the sheriff's cars in the nick of time...and then he cannot find his car keys. The characters all march around, huffing and full of themselves, and begin lines with such trite and true dialogue as "let me get this straight, you knew about..." and "are you saying you knew about..." and "if we don't make it you know what to do..." I do believe this is the first draft, not a final screenplay, for a motion picture.

The special effects are good and bad. The gore scenes are strong and convincing. The bats are not. One great scene has Kimsey and Sheila running for said sheriff's car, with mountains in the background that seem to be exploding in swarms of bats. Too bad we could not keep the flying rodents at a distance, and the effects degenerate into unconvincing CGI and awful puppetry on par with a third grade assembly. The film's cinematography is gorgeous, better than the film deserves. Every scene is well lit and imaginatively expensive looking. Until the effects started sucking, I thought this was going to be a misunderstood multi-million dollar film.

Mourneau is not a bad director, he seems to have been overwhelmed by a poor script and poorer effects. He lets stupid stuff get through: the small town's movie theater marquee reads "Now Playing Nosferatu" (har dee har har); and the weak excuse on why the town did not go indoors when warned is because "we're Texans, and we don't want no one tellin' us things we think we already know." I am originally from Texas, I have family in Texas, and "Bats" knows nothing about Texas (it was filmed in Utah). At least Texans (and the rest of the U.S.) knew enough not to flock INTO the theater when this was showing.

"Bats" has gained a notable reputation for its badness, resulting in the near career deaths of Dina Meyer and Lou Diamond Phillips. I cannot recommend this loser.

link directly to this review at https://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=2257&reviewer=325
originally posted: 02/21/03 19:12:01
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User Comments

10/06/08 Shaun Wallner Boring!! 1 stars
4/23/07 David Risser A big waste of time, not worth watching. Boring, stupid, rediculous, you get my point. 1 stars
4/02/07 brent gerald mejia sr. HIGH QUALITY STUFF! Isn't it? 4 stars
11/04/06 cody a pretty bad creature flick with few good points and decent visuals effects. 2 stars
9/04/05 tony SHITSHITSHIT. just a waste of time. I hope there is a rating below total crap for this one 1 stars
8/18/05 ES I didn't hate it, but I haven't recommended it either 3 stars
12/04/04 gerbilerba I blow farts more interesting than this gagathon 2 stars
7/02/04 American Slasher Goddess Watchable and it has a nice pace to it, but it climaxes too early. 3 stars
4/16/04 Vicious I was sick and there was nothing else on. 2 stars
4/07/04 Sig MY GOD! What a flaming peice of dog shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 stars
1/04/04 DM John Lyrik, you are totally correct 1 stars
4/16/03 Jon "Thumb the Toad" Lyrik What a stupid piece of shit! But it is SO damn funny. 3 stars
4/08/03 Jack Sommersby Slight but pretty decent. The two agreeable help. 3 stars
4/02/03 Zach Fun. Romeo y Julietas! 4 stars
2/25/03 D I have seen worse. It needed work 3 stars
12/09/02 Luke Warren I personally thought that the film was great. It was funny and people died in funny ways. 4 stars
8/26/02 Sucks All the Ass on Earth krash, everyone's so harsh because it's the worst, stupidest shit movie ever made, goddamit 1 stars
8/18/02 Kurt Dina Meyer is hot. Too bad this movie isn't. 2 stars
7/29/02 Charles Tatum If you like this, you haven't seen many movies 1 stars
5/10/02 Kyle Because it fucking sucks. Now shut up, and go to hell. 1 stars
1/06/02 krash why is everyone harsh to this film? 5 stars
9/25/01 Shane Robert Myers!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Riddle me this, riddle me that... Why does it have to be crap!!! 2 stars
5/15/01 Rampage Whoever rates this high is a dumbass! And that means Ken Krysa! Dirtbag! 1 stars
10/08/00 Ground Zero Great, another X-Files ripoff. Why do this? 1 stars
8/23/00 Elvisfan Much better than "Lake Placid" & "Deep Blue Sea"; I've been more bored at a movie 3 stars
6/26/00 Ulatekk Urge to spew too great.... Just awful! 1 stars
6/12/00 Dimlight In the top 10 of the worst movies of the '90s. 1 stars
6/12/00 MR joel harwood I would wait for VIDEO 1 stars
4/28/00 Pansy Simply said: Boring. Really boring. 1 stars
2/28/00 Ken Krysa Kick Ass. Who cares what or why the bats kill. As long as thres action and blood! 4 stars
2/10/00 Kyle Broflovski Did I actually watch this? GAWD, what was I thinking??? 1 stars
11/10/99 blue b. Why the hell would bats want to kill humans? This movie fuckin sucks! 1 stars
11/09/99 Ryan Philippe gets hit by a car and it rules Dude, Bats is a true story. Lou Diamond Phillips was playing me only I totally scored! 5 stars
10/31/99 Vampyre9mm why!?! 1 stars
10/27/99 Mr Showbiz A watchable, if forgettable creature feature. 3 stars
10/25/99 bullit17 I got in for free so I couldn't demand my money back. 1 stars
10/24/99 focus worse than Hitchcock's classic, Birds 1 stars
10/23/99 Lame-Oh shit 1 stars
10/23/99 Miguel 90 min of my life I can't get back...need I say more 1 stars
10/23/99 Ben Ryan Ok, the only decent thing here is the timing with Halloween... 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  22-Oct-1999 (PG-13)
  DVD: 27-May-2003

UK
  N/A

Australia
  08-Jun-2000


Directed by
  Louis Morneau

Written by
  John Logan

Cast
  Lou Diamond Phillips
  Dina Meyer
  Bob Gunton
  Leon
  Carlos Jacott
  David McConnell



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