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Overall Rating

Awesome: 33.33%
Worth A Look: 5.88%
Just Average35.29%
Pretty Crappy: 7.84%
Sucks: 17.65%

3 reviews, 33 user ratings

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by Charles Tatum

"The Russians are Sucking! The Russians are Sucking!"
1 stars

Fox makes like Disney, bad Disney, and slaps together a silly, treacly, boring story about the famed "missing" Russian princess.

Mean old Rasputin (voiced by Christopher Lloyd) curses the Romanov family and some convenient Communists follow suit and murder them. Young Anastasia (Kirsten Dunst) escapes with Grandma (Angela Lansbury), but the two are separated, and Anastasia loses her memory.

Ten years later in St. Petersburg, Dmitri (John Cusack) and Vladimir (Kelsey Grammer) are looking for someone to portray the princess to Grandma so they can collect a reward. An amnesiac Anastasia (say that three times fast) is released from an orphanage, and meets up with the pair. The three are off to Paris, not realizing the fake Anastasia (now voiced by Meg Ryan) is the real Anastasia. Rasputin, who died in the opening scenes, is somehow resurrected with some help from his "funny" sidekick, Bartok the bat (Hank Azaria), and tries to complete his curse by killing Anastasia, first with a train wreck (like this film) then permeating her dreams and having her sleepwalk off a ship.

Anastasia sees Granny, everything seems to be working out, Dimitri falls in love with the princess, but Rasputin makes a final try at murder at a giant coming-out ball to celebrate Anastasia's return. You can guess the outcome of the finale.

I hate musicals. I hate Meg Ryan. I hated this movie. A good musical will use its songs to propel the plot or give us some insight into the characters, here they serve as nothing more but hopeful Oscar nominations. The animated cast sings and goes through dance numbers worthy of a Broadway show, even ending the tunes with flourish as if waiting for applause...keep waiting. For singing Russians that actually work, rent the best musical ever- "Fiddler on the Roof."

Cusack, Lloyd, and Ryan sport American accents, yet Grammer has a Russian accent. Lansbury has her semi-British accent, and no one seems to try and get the cast on one specific accent. Is this Russia or not? Cusack sounds like he forgot his anti-depressants in his other pants, delivering his lines with a solemnity not heard since Ben Kingsley typed up "Schindler's List." Meg Ryan still believes she is in a romantic comedy, saying all her lines in a clipped delivery that is completely wrong for her noble character.

There are five different writers credited here, and none of them could come up with a funny joke. One liners are tossed off that even my five year old would have groaned at, and the film lurches from scene to scene without any energy or fun.

Don Bluth puts the final nail in the coffin containing his big screen career, co-directing with Gary Goldman. All the characters look like every other character he has ever drawn. Computer animation is mixed in with the hand drawn animation, but the two never mesh together well, leading me to believe it was done to hurry the film along through production. Throw in the cute puppy, a rotting Rasputin, the annoying Bartok, and a plot that has been copied from better films, and "Anastasia" is a disaster.

You could argue that I am not the audience for this, but if this is "just a kid's film," then you should be arrested for child abuse. From Russia, With Loathing.

link directly to this review at https://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=460&reviewer=325
originally posted: 12/20/02 21:10:35
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User Comments

12/02/12 Lizzie Cute film, brings back such childhood memories. 5 stars
11/02/12 EDMOND From the director of PETE'S DRAGON,AN AMERICAN TAIL and ROCK-A-DOODLE. 5 stars
1/07/09 Bethany Cox Beautiful! Lovely songs, gorgeous animation, and excellent voice characterisations! 4 stars
5/01/07 Aaron Johnson i Love this film 5 stars
2/28/07 X "I would" You are so stupid. Anastasia was not even a ruling monarch. She isn't responsible 5 stars
2/27/07 Keystra Williams I LOVED this as a kid 5 stars
8/18/06 jess great movie, classic 5 stars
5/01/06 Emma Buchan great movie,interesting 5 stars
7/22/05 Bria I think you are wrong and it is a great movie I think! 5 stars
4/09/04 Windhi it's cool and convincin' 5 stars
1/26/04 nastya dietze i love that movie and since i'm from russia and my full name is anastasia. 5 stars
9/26/03 Alan 17 year old brutally murdered with her family -> Phony legend -> Unprincipled kid flick. 1 stars
8/08/03 I Would This is why communism happened. No wonder they wanted that bitch dead. 2 stars
6/03/03 Charles Tatum Send this to Siberia 1 stars
5/29/03 Kelli The first animated film I've loved since I was a kid 5 stars
12/23/02 Jack Sommersby A great skewering, Charles. 2 stars
12/16/02 mark samuels beauty 5 stars
10/18/02 Prince of Russian Princes Servicable story with expert animation. 3 stars
8/16/01 Dakamus Could've been better, but the crappy CGI was really distracting. And that fucking bat! 3 stars
7/19/01 Frankie Charming and Delightful Movie for all young and old 4 stars
6/15/00 Christina Lynn It is the best movie in the world! I am a helpless romantic, so my fave. part was the end! 5 stars
12/12/99 Lame-Oh this not japanese anime. go see Iron Giant 2 stars
8/11/99 Merry I could have been okay, if not for the villain (Why have a villain anyway?) 3 stars
3/16/99 Ah Dooey Mulan was better 3 stars
1/15/99 DRMJSP I forgot I was watching a fucking cartoon. Made me learn about the real Anya. 5 stars
12/18/98 Quentin Fuck Disney, this movie ruled. And it deserved to do better in the B.O. Complex subject. 5 stars
11/19/98 Evil Buffy ick. they made a kid's film out of this subject? kid's didn't even like it. bad... 2 stars
10/20/98 MR HOLLYWOOD !! Not for the kiddies that much,more for 'old bags',colorful but depressing,not enough humour 3 stars
10/13/98 Chi-Fan Hu It was pretty good. Not too serious. 4 stars
9/27/98 Heather An all-star cast plus brilliant soundtrack equals a great movie experience! 5 stars
9/22/98 Jason Rosenbaum Godawful. Worst animated movie ever. 1 stars
9/16/98 Trav This has the best songs in an animated movie this decade. Go watch it again, disney-freaks! 5 stars
8/20/98 rotten f. milk tries too hard to be a disney flick. not enough humour to sustain the ADD kids. 3 stars
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  21-Nov-1997 (G)
  DVD: 14-Mar-2006



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