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Overall Rating

Awesome: 19.63%
Worth A Look: 15.34%
Just Average: 17.79%
Pretty Crappy: 11.66%

6 reviews, 127 user ratings

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Jason X
[AllPosters.com] Buy posters from this movie
by Doug Bentin

"Some guilty pleasures are guiltier than others."
3 stars

If I liked greasy cheeseburgers, which I do, and given my physic, that would make me feel a little guilty. If I liked wearing women’s clothing, which I don’t (no, really), that would make me feel a lot guilty. If I had to confess in public that I sorta, kinda enjoyed “Jason X,” that would make me feel profoundly guilty.

Your honor, lock me up.

The main problem is that “Jason X” is not a good movie, and saying that is like saying that a closed-in chicken coop in the center of a pig farm on an August afternoon in Arizona is not as fragrant as the perfume counter at Macy’s. The acting runs the gamut from bad to deliberately bad to trying to make it look campy so the audience will think it’s deliberately bad and not just genuinely wretched. Jim Isaac’s direction consists of knocking-off stuff he’s seen in better movies—and sometimes even in far worse ones--and the script by Todd Farmer is made up of one murder after another. This is the true spirit of Jason movies. Hell, it’s the true spirit of most post-“Twitch of the Death Nerve” horror movies.

The story begins in the near future when dat ol’ killin’ machine Jason Voorhees is about to be cryogenically stored. Note for horror movie weenies: Jason began his career in mayhem in the flick “Friday the 13th”. His last screen appearance before “Jason X” was in “Jason Goes to Hell” nine years previously. Yeah, he went but he came back. Jason is the crazed killer in the hockey mask, not the one in the William Shatner mask. As a horror fan, I know these things. Mask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.

But back to the movie.

The numbnuts doctors and cops who want to put the man down allow him to wear his mask, and when he does break free he has his trademark machete at hand. A young woman named Rowan (Lexa Doig) freezes Jason, but puts herself under as well. 450 years later, she and Jason are taken aboard a space ship from Earth 2 and thawed out.

I can’t sleep more than four hours without having to get up and take a pee, but Jason wakes up with a spring in his step and the desire to shove a woman’s face into liquid oxygen and then slam it against something solid. Note to horror movie weenies: The entire point of the Jason series is to see how many clever and quaint ways the writers can come up with for Mr. Grouchyface to kill people, especially teens. Some people over the years have thought this cruel, even sick, but I say that ridding the world of people as stupid as the ones in these movies is just galloping Darwinism.

Some of the deaths are accompanied by one-liners so lame the script could be given a handicap parking permit. One guy is dropped onto a large screw-looking thing, sharp end pointed up. God alone knows what it is or what it’s used for, other than skewering moronic kids in horror movies. Anyway, when his fate is reported via walkie-talkie and the guy who can’t see what happened asks “How’s whatisname?” half the audience yelled out, “He’s screwed!” about a half beat before the actor on the screen answered, “He’s screwed.”

It’s odd that in a certain kind of horror flick, being aware of flaws that would ordinarily deep-six your average Sylvester Stallone groaner is part of the fun. I guess there’s a little Rocky Horror in all of ‘em.

So the picture goes on for 70 minutes like this and I’m not the only native who’s growing restless when suddenly, out of nowhere, the movie changes course. It’s as if all the cast and crew were a single entity, and that entity decided, “Aw hell, fuck it. Let’s have some fun.”

In order to slow down Jason’s siege of the remaining idiots, someone on the ship activates the program that allows you to pretend that you are in another place. It’s like the holodeck in Next Generation. Everything in this movie is like something in some other movie, but this time the gimmick works.

Jason suddenly finds himself in what looks like Camp Crystal Lake, the setting of the first film, faced with two gorgeous and nubile young females. What they say and do to slow him down is like a satiric punch in the nuts to genre critics who have been declaiming for 20 years that “Friday the 13th” and its ilk are thinly disguised morality plays in which young people who smoke, drink, use drugs, and/or play hide the salami deserve to die in the most hideous ways. No, “Jason X” seems to be saying, what these movies really are, are just down and dirty horror flicks with absolutely no redeeming social conscience whatsoever. It’s all a sick joke, pal, and you either love it as a guilty pleasure or your name is Roger Ebert.

And from that point on in the film, I liked it. The movie let us know that it didn’t aspire to be anything other than drive-in Saturday night trash, take it or leave it. Compared to the phony message delivery of those squirm-inducing movies that certain reviewers always refer to as “life affirming,” this kind of honesty made me smile.

So I liked—really liked—the last 20 minutes of “Jason X.” If that’s not good enough for you, skip it. Note for horror movie weenies: Skip it anyway.

link directly to this review at https://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=4747&reviewer=405
originally posted: 09/15/05 13:46:18
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User Comments

10/25/17 Langano Possibly the worst movie ever made. 1 stars
9/13/17 morris campbell jason in space pretty cool 3 stars
9/02/14 Doug Alien if it were written by a moron 1 stars
11/28/12 Ricky Where is the fucking blood? 1 stars
11/05/08 stevieg actually quite fun 4 stars
8/14/08 Shaun Wallner This movie has some great scenes in it. 5 stars
8/05/08 Bnorm It was funny at first then it just got retarded. Skip it 1 stars
8/02/08 Shaun Wallner Great Horror film!! Kept me on the edge of my seat 5 stars
6/11/08 Eric "Whats going on?" "Jason FUCKING VORHEES is what's going on!" 4 stars
4/15/08 art PUT AN X ON THIS MOVIE 1 stars
9/14/07 dude bad beyond belief 1 stars
4/29/07 Austin Wertman Lame.Stupid.Pointless 1 stars
3/20/07 man bad movie 1 stars
2/09/07 MP Bartley Slick. Not scary. Kinda pointless 3 stars
1/27/07 mets1986 Best Friday in awhile..... 5 stars
11/23/06 David Pollastrini good gore. 5 stars
11/01/06 JM Synth Why are people complaining? It's a FT13 movie did they expect it to be smart? 3 stars
9/28/06 Jayson S The Android Terminatrix was awesome!! 4 stars
8/08/06 Doreen I definitely think the Producers were on drugs when making this film. NOT GOOD! 2 stars
7/23/06 Quazar best movie ever made 5 stars
1/16/06 Anthony Feor Jason in space, whats next another sequel 1 stars
11/23/05 cr visual effects good and few cool scenes other than that it stunk 1 stars
10/25/05 tony No Fucking Good! 1 stars
10/13/05 Darren O The Crystal Lake sequence is merely a reminder of how the series has declined. 1 stars
8/30/05 ES Hilarious, no where near scary but pretty cool 4 stars
8/29/05 Tom Burns An entertaining and very funny entry into the "Friday the 13th" series. Loved it! 5 stars
8/23/05 Sugarfoot Who knew the producers saw Leprecaun 4...Hilariously inept 1 stars
7/13/05 Brandy Harrington Awful. 1 stars
5/26/05 tony did they want people to hate these movies or are the producers on drugs??? 1 stars
5/14/05 Indrid Cold Given the ludicrous premise, it's a major acheivement that it doesn't completely suck. 3 stars
3/29/05 Mr. Majestyk Fuck you. I like it. 5 stars
2/24/05 ELI they only impale people. Need more interesting deaths... Oh yeah! the rest is shit. 1 stars
12/04/04 K. Sear It's really time to let it go. 1 stars
11/13/04 X $ % & ! Truly terrible. 1 stars
7/22/04 American Slasher Goddess The highlight was the robot fighting Jason, other then that, it's total and complete crap. 1 stars
7/21/04 magaafi the sleeping bag scene was its saviour...but it just couldn't b saved 1 stars
7/05/04 Littlepurch Wow this was really funny! That sleeping bag stuff had me in hysterics.Too many deaths tho! 4 stars
7/02/04 Peter Smit this one just plain sucks... it really does 1 stars
6/18/04 J Wow this is CRAP! 1 stars
6/08/04 paul bee awesome 5 stars
6/04/04 Stab Wounds Holy hell, what were the filmmakers thinking??? 1 stars
5/10/04 Croweater yes the sleeping bag scene is very funny...the films highlight. 2 stars
3/29/04 American Slasher Goddess Total and utter crap. 1 stars
3/28/04 true review - correct review everytime terrible movie, worst of the series, worst than jason goes to hell if thats possible 1 stars
3/20/04 Jack-pyschO-Lantern The worst one out of the entire FRIDAY THE 13TH series!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 stars
2/08/04 Whatevr The rating says it all. 1 stars
2/05/04 c.r It had pretty cool death scenes, not enough fear! 2 stars
1/31/04 mushroom Fuck you Jason Rules! 4 stars
1/23/04 Vinnie The sleeping bag death scene was Hilarious!!! 2 stars
1/06/04 George CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP 1 stars
12/30/03 Versin.1 wow 5 stars
12/08/03 Samuel I can tolerate to watch it, but its not scary or suspensful..sort of stupid! 3 stars
11/01/03 American Slasher Goddess The worst of the series. Ultra-lame. 1 stars
10/19/03 Josh Standlee I first saw this movie at 2:00 in the morning, and it kept me wide awake and entertained! 5 stars
10/15/03 Erik Van Sant A refreshing improvement over the last one. Miss the camp atmosphere, but it was funny. 4 stars
10/07/03 Double G Ya I can rate twice! 1 stars
9/02/03 Charles Tatum Really original, if you've never seen "Aliens" 2 stars
9/01/03 Gray would have taken effort for it to have been any worse 1 stars
8/29/03 Double G not scary, totally funny but I hated it!!!!! 1 stars
8/26/03 cosme terrazas i thought that this movie really sucks cock. 1 stars
8/23/03 Bob Dope it suck dog biscits the first jason movie were over 100 times better the this piece of carp 1 stars
8/20/03 chris martinez it was a good movie better than the other ones 4 stars
8/18/03 Jeremy Schultz It was TIGHT 5 stars
8/18/03 Patherat This film was one of the worst I have ever had the misfortune to pay money to watch 1 stars
8/18/03 demon882 tha movie was f**king gay it sucked 1 stars
8/17/03 stephanie scary as hell 5 stars
8/17/03 demon882 I think tha movie sucked it was f***ing gay 1 stars
8/17/03 Ross Mcalpin It was cool 5 stars
8/13/03 victor the movie is the best ever 5 stars
8/11/03 Troy Humphrey kick ass 5 stars
8/11/03 humail4u this is the best and horror movie of my life 5 stars
8/09/03 kayla i love jason he is cute and da bomb and i love horror movies with jason in it 5 stars
8/08/03 paulcorrell it was good and scary 4 stars
8/05/03 skydiver20032004 it was good...and the ones who thinks jason is ded...no jason never fu***** dies 5 stars
8/05/03 Erica The movie was somewhat good and dumb. 4 stars
7/28/03 Brian Moudry Best movie ever!!! 5 stars
7/28/03 Brian Moudry The movie kept me on the edge of my seat!!! 5 stars
7/23/03 M R D It was good but the ending sucked hope freedyvsjason is better 5 stars
7/21/03 Double G He finally died, he finally died, HE FINALLY DIED!!! Party at Crystal Lake!!! 1 stars
6/14/03 Jerry ***** 5 stars
6/13/03 Alice Jason X sucked big time 1 stars
6/03/03 Mike This and Jason Goes to Hell are the only good friday movies. 5 stars
5/21/03 Andrew Carden OK Effects, Hodder Is Great...but Overblown and Stupid Overall. 2 stars
5/19/03 Billy In space, no can here you scream 5 stars
5/11/03 Jareth It rips off a scene from what used to be the shittest film in the series. Fuck! That's bad! 1 stars
4/15/03 Jack Bourbon Who in the hell ever called it a "film?" Pretty amusing film. ** 3 stars
4/05/03 Dave The most pathetic of all slasher franchises reaches new lows. 1 stars
3/11/03 Tommy Linds Jason X is a piss poor effort. And to call it a film?? 1 stars
1/01/03 Chowie pppfffttt 2 stars
11/24/02 Jake Let's go in this dark room alone brain dead fools deserve to die 1 stars
10/31/02 klowns This movie ruins the friday the 13th movies. : ( lets pretend Jason X was never evented. 1 stars
10/17/02 Nevz Heeey wanna beeer? 3 stars
10/01/02 Jiz "Where is he?" Check the cameras. "Where'd he go?" Turn on the lights. Fucking retards. 1 stars
8/23/02 Nick If you are stupid, watch this movie. 2 stars
8/15/02 Shaun they must have had too much fun making it 3 stars
8/09/02 Tyner this fucking series has reached an all-time low 1 stars
7/13/02 HA AH this was so stupid, i mean jason in space? 1 stars
6/23/02 Joe This movie was great! I dont care what anyone else says!!! 5 stars
6/18/02 Brandon What a come back!! Jason Lives!! 5 stars
6/12/02 The Vegetarian Cannibal Futuristic vision of male-female relationships is as scary as Jason. What a snotfest! 1 stars
5/10/02 Veronica Foxx (The Raven-Haired Temptress) I'm a fan of horror/slasher flicks, but I was infinitely disappointed they put him in space 2 stars
5/09/02 Film Guy I was cursing myself for even paying money for this shit. I would rather watch Halloween 6 1 stars
4/29/02 Banky Edwards Heh, the sleeping bag murder scene was worth my 8 bucks!! Plus I called half of the lines!! 4 stars
4/29/02 Janx Who said this was good? It sucks! More of the same shit, but what I expected 2 stars
4/29/02 Foggy B Not Campy Enough, Not Scary Enough 2 stars
4/29/02 Nick2k stupid/funny ass movie. but i'm buying the dvd when its out just for the 'sleeping bags'... 3 stars
4/28/02 Rampage Don't waste your money on this crap-fest. Jason in space? WTH?!? 1 stars
4/28/02 strider3700 It's a slasher flick people. Go to mock it not be scared and you'll love it 3 stars
4/28/02 Chris This film was absolute crap. They need to hire some writers with talent! 1 stars
4/27/02 Spyguy2 In the mood for a big dumb horror movie that's funny, cheesy, and over-the-top? This is it 4 stars
4/27/02 TimmyTomorrow Fun was had by all!!! 5 stars
4/26/02 esfse Fuck this crap! This shit sucks! 1 stars
4/26/02 Farty Being sodomized by a truck driver would be better than this film 1 stars
4/26/02 James Kick ass! Big improvement over Jason Goes To Hell. 5 stars
4/26/02 Julian Awesome! 5 stars
4/24/02 Roy Smith Remarkably well written/acted - did I say that? Who expected it to be this good?!? 5 stars
4/23/02 masin wolliams hot diggity damn! Jason is back! who needs a plot?!?! 5 stars
4/23/02 Wade Awesome movie!! Great kills and just plain fun. 5 stars
4/23/02 wintermute Holy Shit this movie was bad - I can easily see why it has been on the shelf for 2 years! 1 stars
4/21/02 NeuroManson Found it online a week early, some funny stuff, but don't expect MacBeth either... 3 stars
4/01/02 lauren mccreight the best of the bunch!! 4 stars
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  26-Apr-2002 (R)



Directed by
  James Isaac

Written by
  Todd Farmer

  Kane Hodder
  Lexa Doig
  Lisa Ryder
  Jonathon Potts
  Melyssa Ade
  David Cronenberg

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