Jamie Kennedy's favorite movie review site
Home Reviews  Articles  Release Dates Coming Soon  DVD  Top 20s Criticwatch  Search
Public Forums  Festival Coverage  Contests About 
Advertisement

Overall Rating
2.59

Awesome: 0%
Worth A Look: 4.55%
Just Average54.55%
Pretty Crappy: 36.36%
Sucks: 4.55%

3 reviews, 4 user ratings


Latest Reviews

Little Joe (2019) by Jay Seaver

Knives and Skin by Jay Seaver

Rabid (2019) by Rob Gonsalves

Irishman, The by Rob Gonsalves

Recorder: The Marion Stokes Project by Rob Gonsalves

Kitchen, The (2019) by Rob Gonsalves

Whistleblower, The (2019) by Jay Seaver

Aeronauts, The by Jay Seaver

Jessica Forever by Jay Seaver

Charlie's Angels (2019) by Jay Seaver

subscribe to this feed


Johns
[AllPosters.com] Buy posters from this movie
by Charles Tatum

"Despite the title, this is not one man's history of the toilet."
2 stars

Lukas Haas, the little kid from "Witness," is all grown up and taking some serious adult roles. "Johns" is his film, and he does a great job here.

David Arquette plays John, who will be turning 21 on Christmas Day. He is a gay hustler who is looking to stay on his birthday in a fancy L.A. hotel. Haas is his best friend, the new guy working the street. His father is a doctor, but kicked him out for being gay. Most of the film concerns John's efforts to collect money he owes a drug dealer. His shoes are stolen in the opening moments of the film, and we find out that was where he stashed his cash. This opening also sets up a failed surprise ending that is really forced.

The film's sparse plot meanders through John's encounters, some with other men named John, hence the film's title, until the end. Haas and Arquette are ready to leave for Branson, Missouri on a bus but Arquette wants to do "one last date." You can probably see where that is going.

The film has enough quirky characters to make a "Northern Exposure" fan drool. Richard Kind is a kind hotel clerk. Keith David is a mysterious homeless man. John C. McGinley is a Hollywood producer. Arliss Howard is a stuttering Bible beater who becomes Arquette's last date. Elliot Gould plays a rich client of Arquette's. Arquette's drug dealing nemesis cannot add and subtract. All of these actors have little quirks and tics that I think the film maker wanted us to find endearing. You only have sympathy for Haas, so I felt the film wasted too much time showing us all the other scenes. Arquette is five years too old for this role, and I smiled every time he picked up a phone, wondering if he would follow his own advice in those terrible phone company ads he appeared in. His career choices lately have been stupid ("Ready to Rumble" anyone?), and this leaves a bad impression on anything serious he attempts.

Except for Haas, everyone goes through the motions of a story that liberally borrows from "Midnight Cowboy." You just know one of them will die in the end, and sure enough, one does. The film wants to make a moral point, but try to have fun doing it at the same time, and this does not work.

One creepy scene involves Arquette and Gould having a rendezvous and kissing. Arquette is married to Courteney Cox in real life, and Gould plays Cox's father on "Friends." After this twisted "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon"-like game, I felt really weird watching their scene.

Silver's direction is better than his script, and you have to give him credit for coming up with one of the most eclectic soundtracks I have ever heard, but eventually "Johns" fails both Haas, and us.

If you want to see a real film about street children, watch the documentary "Streetwise." That film makes this look like "Sesame Street."

link directly to this review at https://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=4982&reviewer=325
originally posted: 03/25/03 20:04:11
[printer] printer-friendly format  

User Comments

1/13/11 PAUL SHORTT DOWNBEAT, GRITTY CHRONICLE OF SEX AND VIOLENCE 1 stars
5/11/08 mr.mike Unexpectedly good , with Haas and even Arquette in fine form. 4 stars
4/16/04 Michael Greenwaldt Not boring, but not very good either. The ending was lame too. 2 stars
10/24/02 Charles Tatum Arquette is miscast in "Midnight Cowboy" Light 2 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
Note: Duplicate, 'planted,' or other obviously improper comments
will be deleted at our discretion. So don't bother posting 'em. Thanks!
Your Name:
Your Comments:
Your Location: (state/province/country)
Your Rating:


Discuss this movie in our forum

USA
  03-Jan-1997 (R)
  DVD: 29-Feb-2000

UK
  N/A

Australia
  13-Oct-1999 (MA)


Directed by
  Scott Silver

Written by
  Scott Silver

Cast
  David Arquette
  Lukas Haas
  Tony Epper
  John C. McGinley
  Keith David
  Wilson Cruz



Home Reviews  Articles  Release Dates Coming Soon  DVD  Top 20s Criticwatch  Search
Public Forums  Festival Coverage  Contests About 
Privacy Policy | | HBS Inc. |   
All data and site design copyright 1997-2017, HBS Entertainment, Inc.
Search for
reviews features movie title writer/director/cast