Jamie Kennedy's favorite movie review site
Home Reviews  Articles  Release Dates Coming Soon  DVD  Top 20s Criticwatch  Search
Public Forums  Festival Coverage  Contests About 

Overall Rating

Awesome: 34.15%
Worth A Look39.02%
Just Average: 7.93%
Pretty Crappy: 8.54%
Sucks: 10.37%

8 reviews, 116 user ratings

Latest Reviews

Ad Astra by Jay Seaver

When Lambs Become Lions by Jay Seaver

We Are Not Princesses by Jay Seaver

Hustlers by Jay Seaver

Promare by Jay Seaver

Tokyo Ghoul "S" by Jay Seaver

BrightBurn by Rob Gonsalves

Booksmart by Rob Gonsalves

Dead Don't Die, The by Rob Gonsalves

Fagara by Jay Seaver

subscribe to this feed

[AllPosters.com] Buy posters from this movie
by Chef ADogg

"Nobody believes me!"
1 stars

"MallRats" is possibly the most horrifically bad movie I have ever seen--it goes beyond bad, past awful, into the land of unwatchable.

Don't tell me I need to watch it twice. Please. 'Cause I've already seen it at least eight times. One of my buddies back in Mundelein watched this movie constantly--every time I went over to his house, he was spinning this in his VCR. The first time I saw it, it gave me a few chuckles. I didn't like it, I didn't hate it--I had no real opinion of the movie.

But after nearly ten viewings, every time some ignorant would be critic doofus boy starts talking about what a great film "MallRats" is, I'm ready to smack the sonofabitch and make him watch "Clerks" again.

Realize this--I'm no "Clerks" purist. I barely even like the movie. The dialogue is occasionally entertaining, and Jason Mewes is funny as all hell, but Kevin Smith can't direct worth a shit, and the acting is most often god-awful.

"MallRats" is a somewhat more polished effort, but it lacks the engaging charm of "Clerks." The film follows Jason Lee and Jeremy London as they roam the mall, commiserating about the loss of their respective girlfriends. I have no problem with this--that alone sounds like a pretty good movie.

But, alas, Smith has to strap his movie up with some of the most contrived plot mechanics I have ever seen. If ever I see a subplot so stupid as the game show angle, I will put a gun to my head. Because a duplication of something that moronic would truly be the fourth sign of the Apocalypse.

Add to the extremely frustrating plot the worst acting I have ever seen in a film (Jeremy London, go away--you ruin everything that you touch. You even made "Party of Five" unwatchable), plus Smith's need to indulge in excessively childish vuglarity, and you've got the most excruciating movie I have ever seen.

For some reason, most of my friends think this is the end-all be-all of slacker comedies. They won't believe me when I say that it sucks beyond all comprehension, which causes me great distress. How can they not see how bad this movie truly is?

How terrible is this movie? Shit, I would rather watch "The Haunting" again.

link directly to this review at https://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=501&reviewer=123
originally posted: 08/04/99 11:07:57
[printer] printer-friendly format  

User Comments

8/07/14 David Hollingsworth juvenile, tasteless but generationally funny 4 stars
7/26/09 jroc most underrated movie ever. pure comic gold 5 stars
4/12/09 Evie I thought it had a few laughs. 3 stars
4/10/09 Dane Youssef A fun flick to watch with your bud over a round of beers. 'Specially if they're comic fans. 4 stars
12/13/08 Simon I'm suprised 'Average' is the lowest percentage. Couldn't think of a more appropriate word 3 stars
8/11/06 nicolecrom2678 Jason Lee is hilarious in this movie 5 stars
10/14/05 Hannity from Houston Affleck's in it? (I wish he wasn't) 1 stars
9/03/05 matt threw my back out humping your mom last night... nooch. 5 stars
6/28/05 Burt Ward kame unfunny badly acted shit. Overrated by morons. 1 stars
5/24/05 Jake A little tamed compared to Clerks but still worth a look 4 stars
11/19/04 Trailer trash in malls don't speak like uni' professer's in real life Trailer trash don't speak like uni' professer's. This movie is a toss. 1 stars
8/05/04 Anthony G stfu 5 stars
6/20/04 Rock Hound Kids, these days! In my day, youngsters behaved like angels, or we got beat to a pulp! 1 stars
4/13/04 shaun movies you should rent clerks,chasing amy,dogma,vulgar,J&bob strike back if u like mallrats 5 stars
4/03/04 Daveman Worth a look??? Trust these student film critics to be a bunch of Smith completists. 1 stars
3/23/04 Ken Stryker That kids on the fuckin esculator agian 5 stars
2/05/04 jimmy pee its friggin hilarious 4 stars
9/08/03 TheDude Jack Sommersby needs to be shot and hung by his balls. 5 stars
8/11/03 The Savage TS is a jackass but the rest of the movie is awesome but it has TS so it knocks it down 4 stars
7/13/03 Samuel Justus Great Movie!!!!Hey would anyone like a chocolate covered pretzel??? 5 stars
6/25/03 shannon this is the best movie EVER brodie is soooo FUNNY and jay and silent bob r the SHIT! 5 stars
5/12/03 joker-smoker-toker this movie is awesome. brodie & jay & silent bob were the best part of this movie 5 stars
3/31/03 Dr. Bitterpants This happens if John Hughes only cared about the Judd Nelson and A.M.Hall characters 2 stars
3/31/03 Jack Sommersby Pretty forced. Worth seeing only for the sexy Barnes and her three-nippled breast. 2 stars
3/26/03 y2mckay As usual, Jay and Silent Bob are the best part. The rest is hit and miss. 3 stars
3/11/03 Apathy It's a teen movie. No depth or intelligence. Like the topless 3 nippled fotrune teller 3 stars
11/10/02 Joe This Movie Is Really Underratted It is GREAT! 5 stars
11/08/02 Stevo Because of the director, people try to find the best in this. Really it's unfunny shit. 1 stars
10/26/02 MarktheShark6 Get rid of London and I'd call it the BEST MOVIE EVER, otherwise it's just the second ever. 5 stars
10/08/02 Neil This movie is fucking hilarious. It's not as great as Clerks was but it was still awesome. 5 stars
9/03/02 Joe Zappa Jay and Silent Bob are even funnier, and the acting is better than "Clerks." 4 stars
7/29/02 Mac perfect, smith captures stupid teen movies and makes his funny 5 stars
7/23/02 Roy Smith The heroes are basically selfish assholes. 2 stars
7/23/02 erick really funny, but its no clerks 4 stars
5/30/02 Phoenix Kevin Smith's dumbest movie, but still funny. 4 stars
5/26/02 Nicole No real plot, but loads of sick humor 4 stars
3/14/02 fjkdljskfds i used to find this hilarious, but now just see it as pretentious and contrived.rent clerks 2 stars
3/05/02 Veronica Foxx aka The Raven-Haired Temptress A bit of charm that sparked a little interest, but pretty forgettable in the end. 3 stars
2/06/02 Frances Did anyone of u people who rated the movie badly actually watch it???????? 5 stars
2/03/02 Cameron Ovo Best movie in the world iv seen it about 100 times and it's still funny 5 stars
1/01/02 Shane Robert Myers!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Better than Clerks, Jay & Silent Bob are more funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
12/19/01 paul ben affleck in his prime... booya! 4 stars
11/08/01 Mark A truly quality movie. The plot appears rather dull, but really picks up. A must-see. 5 stars
10/30/01 Suzie I Love Jason Lee in this, he kicks so much fucking ass, I flat out love this whole movie 5 stars
10/14/01 Mr. Hat The story is shit but Jay and Silent Bob are the two hands-down best quality of the flick. 3 stars
10/07/01 Hogwash If only O'Halloran had played TS instead of London... 4 stars
10/04/01 Evil Bitchwoman fucking hilarious. 5 stars
8/27/01 ARCbird Brodieman noochie noochies.... 5 stars
8/12/01 Gary Jason Lee is fantastic in this. Don't take it seriously, just kick back and enjoy. 4 stars
7/31/01 Keyser Soze sucks the big one: watch clerks instead 2 stars
7/05/01 mjm103171 it was NOT up to par for Mr. Smith 2 stars
6/13/01 Law Firm of Dewey, Cheatam & Howe FLY FATASS FLY! 5 stars
6/06/01 King Jackass Would you like a chocalate covered pretzel? 5 stars
5/28/01 m. todl smiths best work 4 stars
5/19/01 kingjackass222 people underate this movie 2 much 4 stars
5/09/01 Stephen Woods Damn, man Jeremy sucks ass. 5 stars
3/05/01 Brad Groux This movie is fukking hilarious! Jason Lee is the man! 5 stars
10/22/00 P. Rodriguez 4 Fu@3s sake take for what it's worth. Funny toilet humor. London is shit though 4 stars
7/26/00 The Bomb 69 funny and often misunderstood movie, way underrated 5 stars
7/17/00 Bender Cheesy jokes and uninteresting conversations sink this one. 2 stars
6/24/00 Aaron White Kevin Smith doesn't know what do do with directors. All he can do is write slacker patter. 1 stars
6/14/00 Zippo XxX Funny and fun, but seemed to kind of sell out, AND WAS SHOT AT MY TOWN MALL!!! 5 stars
5/11/00 Girl9 This film IS "cult" status.Funny dialogue,funny characters. Either love it or hate it. 4 stars
4/14/00 Elvisfan of course this movie is great; Kevin is from New Jersey, the best state in the USA 5 stars
4/12/00 Rita It sucks that this movie got so much crap...it was great! 5 stars
3/29/00 malcolm kevin smith's funniest. ... threw my back out humping your mom last night. nootch! 4 stars
3/14/00 Chloe Sesta Jacobs Kevin Smith is great 5 stars
1/20/00 James "Brew" McCauley This movie DOES get better ever time you watch it. 5 stars
11/30/99 Dr. Acula Funny Flick except Jay & Silent Bob Become Bill & Ted and lose their edge. 4 stars
10/22/99 Patrick Belongia One of the funniest teen movies made! 5 stars
10/11/99 Jared He wanted to screw me some place very uncomfortable, what like the back of a volkswaggon 5 stars
9/03/99 Myra Worth a look for Shannen. 3 stars
8/18/99 Matthew Bartley Snootchie-bootchie!! Damn funny 4 stars
7/25/99 The Bomb 69 "call me Donny, please don't go girl" This is one wacky gameshow 5 stars
7/06/99 Dax Watch it several times to catch all of the jokes in the background (store names, etc.) 4 stars
6/14/99 Sally Give that Kevin Smith a KISS (like Ben Affleck!) 4 stars
6/06/99 kmk I laughed my ass off. 4 stars
5/23/99 PurityJustBegs While not Smith's best, it serves its purpose quite well, a damn funny farce. 4 stars
4/11/99 Randall can't get enough, being a former mallrat, i loved it 5 stars
4/07/99 Dave It was really bad. No plot, no point , no service 1 stars
4/05/99 Michael Grimm The only movie better is Clerks. Fucking hilarious 5 stars
4/03/99 Albert The ONLY good Kevin Smith movie so far. 5 stars
3/28/99 john mall crap - shannon was fineeee 1 stars
3/28/99 Ebert's twin This was a big pile of movie shit 1 stars
3/27/99 TJwills Makes me miss the mall. Affleck begins to stretch his acting wings. 5 stars
3/26/99 Rob Mckechnie Not as good as Clerks, but Lee's "he likes like a fucking date rapist!" makes up for it 5 stars
3/17/99 Max Bernstein One of the best films of the 90's. Anyone who disagrees is a fucking savage. 5 stars
3/05/99 BB An excellent way to spend an evening...or two. 5 stars
3/02/99 Rachel Three words: Snootchie Bootchie Noochies! 5 stars
2/28/99 Ken Jason Lee, Kevin smith, and Jason Mewes ARE THE MOVIE! Snootchy Bootchies!!! 5 stars
2/18/99 Nibby7 "Bickety Bam, the motherfucker's rubble" & "Fly fat ass, fly" What more could you want? 5 stars
1/24/99 YellerDog Love this movie. Operation: Dark Knight! 5 stars
1/24/99 Melissa See it for Brodie, Jay and Bob. 4 stars
1/11/99 Shane Brandon Good movie but unfortunately because of the head honchos Kevin couldnt do exactly what he w 4 stars
1/01/99 randy F it was not horrible it was was good it was great 4 stars
12/31/98 JDC really, really funny, much funnier than Clerks. Great film, big laughs 5 stars
12/21/98 Blotman Funny fucking film... but not much else besides the humor. 4 stars
12/19/98 Mike F WOW! I saw this too much. it rocks! 5 stars
11/25/98 Jack Aster all it took was a fat chronic blunt 5 stars
11/18/98 MinxxDaShorty Silent Jay and Bob are the juices that kept this movie flowing!!! The rest was average. 4 stars
10/23/98 Timmy C Excellent if you don't compare it to Clerks. 4 stars
10/16/98 Finley Not his best, but deinitely a very funny movie 5 stars
10/15/98 MR HOLLYWOOD !! pure KEVIN SMITH............could have been better though,hilarious no doubt ! 4 stars
10/02/98 wind it's cool how the sopomore release was as good as the first 4 stars
9/20/98 Ky This shits on clerks bigtime!! Totally Sweet!!! Gotta love it!!! 5 stars
9/17/98 Mike Not good by any means, but not bad either. Jason Lee is great 4 stars
9/16/98 Ben Affleck Unbelievably cool movie.. Jason Lee kicks.. Kevin Smith is a genious.. Hilarious!! 5 stars
9/15/98 Chuck-D It was awesome. Like a Kevins Smith film could be any less? 5 stars
9/08/98 Young Einstein I can't slam this. It was awful, but I saw it twice. 4 stars
9/08/98 MikeF I saw this 21 times. I love it. 5 stars
9/05/98 Helle Marie It`s fuckin` brilliant! Screw the critics- this is great, and everybody should see it! 5 stars
9/03/98 Scott Taylor Almost worked. Didn't. 2 stars
8/24/98 clark just like Empire, the second in the trilogy is best. 5 stars
8/22/98 Mister Whoopee Good enough, if not overtly good 4 stars
8/22/98 Superfly Not Kevin's best, but all of Kevin's stuff is fucking awesome. 5 stars
Note: Duplicate, 'planted,' or other obviously improper comments
will be deleted at our discretion. So don't bother posting 'em. Thanks!
Your Name:
Your Comments:
Your Location: (state/province/country)
Your Rating:

Discuss this movie in our forum

  25-Oct-1995 (R)
  DVD: 20-Sep-2005



Home Reviews  Articles  Release Dates Coming Soon  DVD  Top 20s Criticwatch  Search
Public Forums  Festival Coverage  Contests About 
Privacy Policy | | HBS Inc. |   
All data and site design copyright 1997-2017, HBS Entertainment, Inc.
Search for
reviews features movie title writer/director/cast