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Life as a House

Reviewed By Thom
Posted 11/09/01 05:36:09

"Oh, gag me."
3 stars (Just Average)

Who ever is going to believe that a surly, strung out goth kid is going to, in the course of one summer, become a loving, family guy. What the fuck? This flick is so ABC After School Special its not even funny. It was an insult, quite frankly, to me and all my surly, strung out, disaffected goth friends who wore black and smudged kohl around our eyes for very good reasons. When will parents ever learn that its important to just let their children's spirit soar or sink to whatever height or depth it needs to be to find itself. Huh? When?

Not to mention, said surly goth (who listens to Marilyn Manson. as if any real goth would need to buy a Manson record to feel like they are being shocking. Kids like that are just renting subversion. Maybe that's why he changed so much. He was just a poser anyway. Fuck him. Fuck him right in the ass) is hella cute and he looks so good as a little agro industrial boy that I was all bummed when he started looking clean cut and acting normal.

I prefered him huddled in the closet, sniffing glue while screaming at his parents.


I did like that this movie was all about sex. Teen sex and shower sex and teen/grown-up sex. The cute goth boy even cums in one scene! Its fan-fucking-tastic. I also like that he had sex with the annoying neighbor lawyer guy just to buy pot. That rules. And then at the end, the goth guy, played by Hayden Christensen, makes a joke about his six inches. That joke basically saves the day and I don't want to tell you how, but it does.

Will Kevin Kline get an oscar nod for his performance? Who the fuck cares. So what, he cries and he dies. He wants to build his dream home before he dies and he forces his son to help him. The son just wants to spend the summer in reno getting high (rock on). And the sun somehow learns the meaning of life and gets laid in the process and a bunch of assholes are shown up and we all get to feel so good at the end. Except the end is so stupid. The goth boy inherits this gorgeuous house in Malibu overlooking the ocean. A small cottage that he worked and fought for, and then he just gives it away to appease his fathers second generational guilt about a childhood auto accident.

I didn't buy that at all. So like, is this guy supposed to be completely redeemed now? The message here seems to be that it is wrong to be surly, wear eyeliner and hate your parents and we should become unquestioning conformist self-sacrificing do-gooders.

Does goth boy have any idea how difficult it is to buy a house in California, much less malibu? I mean, if he's already got a place to live then he does'nt have to spend his life in corporate chains to just keep his head above water and he could actually go out and enjoy life. stare at the sky and sea and ponder the mystery of it all, rather then the mystery of why his email is bouncing. Shaw. what a waste.

I'm just all, whatever. This movie is a blatant play off the success of American Beauty but stupid. It has its viscerally satisfying moments but then I didn't get it when the father's own non-conformist, headstrong, bohemianism, turns into this normalizing process to corral the son's own wild energy. Granted, the son was on the downward spiral but they could have just taken away the drugs and let him still be this punk ass kid who's got a lot of good reasons for wanting to withdraw rather than participate in his world.

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