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Overall Rating
1.49

Awesome: 0%
Worth A Look: 2.6%
Just Average: 10.39%
Pretty Crappy: 20.78%
Sucks66.23%

3 reviews, 59 user ratings


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Virus (1999)
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by Charles Tatum

"Good effects, bad people"
2 stars

When I first saw the previews for this, I assumed it took place in space on board a ship taken over by an alien. Even the video box looks space bound. Wrong.

A boat crew loses their cargo in a typhoon (which do not necessarily spring up out of nowhere anymore, having lived through dozens of them in the Far East) and comes across a seemingly abandoned Russian space communications ship while waiting in the storm's eye. The Russian ship could be salvaged, and the crew decides to take it and redeem the millions of dollars they think they will get. Suddenly, a Russian scientist appears and tells them what happened. Apparently, and this was shown in the beginning of the movie, an alien lifeforce took over the Mir space station, then the ship in the water. It is electronic in nature, and uses humans for "spare parts" as it builds machine/human hybrids to do its bidding. A lot of things blow up after that, all headed toward the predictable finale.

Jamie Lee Curtis is the navigator, but is not given a lot to do except cough and call out other characters' names in dark corridors. One of the Baldwin brothers comes along for the ride. It's not Alec, and it's not that one "duuuude" from "Bio Dome," it is the middle one, I think. Donald Sutherland is the stereotypical mentally unbalanced captain of the American ship. He has some kind of strange accent that sounds Scottish one minute, and Canadian the next. The rest of the doomed crew consists of expendable minority characters and crusty cowards. Why is it only the white women survive movies like this? Joanna Pacula plays the surviving Russian scientist. She has done better.

The entire film is full of characters wandering down dark hallways, and "checking on" each other. People get separated, and the real gore comes about thanks to the machines.

The special effects are pretty incredible. From the opening space shots, to the typhoon effects, to the very gory hybrids, I thought they were the best thing about the film.

The cast here tries hard. The film looks expensive, and Bruno's direction is excellent. The musical score is a little clangy, and the cinematography (especially a closing sunrise shot) is lush.

There is just nothing underneath the surface of this film. Characters go tromping after noises they hear in the dark. The crew stumbles across a stash of guns that seems prerequisite in all sci-fi horror films. Jamie Lee Curtis is lusted after by the rest of the crew as she remains serious so she can be taken seriously. They even throw in a fake ending to get your blood rushing again after 100 minutes of yelling, gore, and explosions.

What we have here is a spaceship movie that takes place in the ocean going ship concerning a computer virus. What we also have here is a lot of cliche dressed up with pretty pictures, an expensive look, and great effects.

link directly to this review at https://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=562&reviewer=325
originally posted: 02/27/03 17:23:59
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User Comments

3/24/18 morris campbell it sux 1 stars
11/24/07 Bnorm It really wasnt all that bad... 3 stars
3/21/06 Indrid Cold Worth a look for the biomechs alone, but no, it's not a good movie. 2 stars
8/25/05 ES Wow this movie took a lot of hits, Personally it was fine, except for the Baldwin of course 3 stars
5/22/05 Steve Newman I have read the reviews - it must be me - I liked it - perhaps I was drunk?? 4 stars
7/16/04 Gray cobbed together from original works 2 stars
2/23/04 Naturezrevenge Sucky bad movie with some extra-tasty bio-mechanics and gore hidden within all the shit. 4 stars
8/01/03 Jake I wonder what Janet Lee thinks of this one? "It was nice hunny ..." 2 stars
7/04/03 T3 Jamie Lee ok in my book no matter what see does..fan..otherwise it was ok once. 3 stars
4/26/03 Andrew Carden Curtis Is Amazing, The Effects Are Great, and Direction Super. What's Wrong? It's Silly.... 3 stars
2/28/03 Jack Sommersby Energetic direction can't save a piss-poor screenplay. Abysmally acted. 1 stars
2/28/03 Richard Castillo A dry and stupid movie, but somewhat a bit more thrilling than most "Alien" rip-offs 3 stars
1/28/03 The Aussie Film Reviewer The most imcompetent sci-fi flick since Corman's last. 1 stars
12/13/02 Zefram Mann Might have been worth it if we saw Jamie Lee's tits. 2 stars
10/27/02 trent crapness 1 stars
10/17/02 infected by ass totally a waste of my money...damn you people for releasing this buttload on film 1 stars
8/13/02 snowconehead it wasn't "that" bad 3 stars
5/12/02 Doc Holiday complete diarrhoea 1 stars
5/12/02 Charles Tatum Good effects, bad people. 2 stars
1/06/02 Jake Joanna Pacula was good but Jamie Lee! and William Baldwin were making me laugh out loud. 2 stars
8/18/01 Karl damn................damn damn damn 2 stars
8/06/01 Joe Zappa Just how many "Alien" rip-offs are there, with the same plot and a waste of good actors? 1 stars
6/24/01 Senor Pescolido Film can not get more laughable and ridiculous. 1 stars
6/04/01 Super Nintendo Chalmers Goddam stupid... wasted my money on that armpit... What a shame 1 stars
5/28/01 jim dickless this movie sucks rotten ass 1 stars
5/18/01 Thrillhouse science-fiction for morons 1 stars
3/29/01 Rampage this was worse than watching a episode of The Outer Limits 1 stars
3/21/01 Sthenno What the hell is this?Ripoff of Dead Calm,Hardware,Alien &Terminator & still is laughable. 2 stars
3/09/01 Jake So bad it made Outbreak look good 1 stars
12/22/00 Kook Never seen worse. Seriously. 1 stars
11/14/00 Terrie Smith It took five countries to co-produce this mess; defintely wasn't worth the effort. 1 stars
9/22/00 Jacques Strap piece of phat shit 1 stars
9/11/00 Ground Zero Goddam stupid... wasted my money on that armpit... A total annoyance. 1 stars
8/25/00 Stuntman I've seen better on The X-Files 1 stars
7/22/00 Digitalus worst sci-fi flick I've seen 1 stars
6/26/00 Mr. Zyklon Really bad. Boring. Not enough nudity. 1 stars
6/13/00 PJ PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 stars
6/12/00 Dimlight Lets play spot the rip-off 1 stars
5/28/00 Cooke This movie had it's high's and low's. 3 stars
5/06/00 Klute. There has never been a worse film. Ever. In history. Someone need to be fired after this. 1 stars
4/25/00 Pansy Whoever directed this movie is a no-skill llama! 1 stars
3/01/00 Heather This movie was so bad! My friends and I mocked it for weeks after seeing it. 1 stars
2/21/00 Mr. Kramitall Damn you and your movie. Bitchslap that Jamie Lee! 1 stars
10/03/99 Joe Schmoe friggin' crap 1 stars
5/09/99 Ah Dooey Sci-fi/horror movies need a bit of originality and integrity. 1 stars
3/09/99 Oggy This sucks and so does the virusthemovie.com site. 1 stars
3/05/99 Mike Rotch Terrible in every aspect. Jamie Lee and Sutherland were awful. 1 stars
1/25/99 Fredd This movie sucked ass large! 1 stars
1/22/99 Goofaloo Truly awful in every respect. No redeeming features. 1 stars
1/22/99 TB If only it there could be a rating lower than "sucks all ass"... yes... a lower rating!!!!! 1 stars
1/20/99 Angus this film has one saving grace its fun to make fun Of and discuss plot holes afterwards. 2 stars
1/20/99 Jason Stein Special Fx made it somewhat average 3 stars
1/19/99 LT A Howler. I wish I'd had a virus so I could've at least distracted myself with the pain. 1 stars
1/18/99 Odd Pieman Halfway through this movie I stuck my thumb up my own ass to entertain myself. 1 stars
1/16/99 Dave B. One notch above last year's excreable DEEP RISING ,which isn't saying a whole lot. 2 stars
1/11/99 Doobie Boy Sutherland is laughably awful in this. The script is abominable. Overall, total dud. 1 stars
1/11/99 Doug Dogg yeah i got a virus for you, a shitty movie virus, called VIRUS!!!!!! 1 stars
12/31/98 Binky The first movie I ever walked out of. Completely hopeless. 1 stars
12/30/98 JDC SciFi/Horror needs a new direction. I'm sick of seeing Alien over and over with a new name 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  08-Jan-1999 (R)
  DVD: 17-Aug-1999

UK
  N/A

Australia
  02-Mar-2000




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