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Overall Rating

Awesome: 5.17%
Worth A Look: 3.45%
Just Average: 15.52%
Pretty Crappy56.9%
Sucks: 18.97%

4 reviews, 34 user ratings

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Tuxedo, The
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by Charles Tatum

"Jackie Chan- Licensed to Mildly Entertain"
3 stars

I do like Jackie Chan. And I do like Jennifer Love Hewitt. Both performers are often underappreciated in their respective roles- an action hero and an ingenue.

In "The Tuxedo," the two combine and generate no chemistry but a few chuckles. Jimmy Tong (Jackie Chan) is a reckless cab driver hired by Steena (Debi Mazar, speaking of underappreciated) to be the chauffeur to one handsome Clark Devlin (Jason Isaacs, trying on that James Bond role he did not get). Jimmy loves working for Devlin, who takes the driver under his wing, until one night when Devlin is almost killed in a bomb explosion.

Del (Jennifer Love Hewitt) is an underling at the CSA, a fictionalized CIA full of leering male coworkers...and Steena. She is assigned to investigate bottled water company magnate Banning (Ritchie Coster), who plans on world domination by engineering his water to make a person thirstier, if it doesn't dry up their insides and kill them in the process (his plans are let on right away, so don't think I just spoiled something here). Del has never seen Devlin, and meets him (as Jimmy) when they must spy on a secret meeting being held by Banning. Jimmy has become such good friends with Devlin, he assumes his identity when Devlin is hurt and in the hospital. He also assumes a technically advanced tuxedo that can turn the wearer into a killing machine or a lover, all depending on what the user programs into a remote control watch. As Del and Jimmy investigate Banning, with Del unaware of Jimmy's real identity, the tuxedo plays important and highly implausible roles in the action.

"The Tuxedo" does score on a few levels. There are some funny action scenes, courtesy of Chan, which might work better if you have never seen one of his films before. Chan still has a problem with English pronunciation (as evidenced by the end credits bloopers) so his line readings are all wrong as he emphasizes the incorrect words consistently. Jennifer Love Hewitt's Del is terribly written, with the viewer never knowing if she is a butt kicking super agent hiding behind a nerdy lab coat, or really is a nerdy lab assistant who is in over her head. Hewitt is easy on the eyes, and scores some laughs here and there, but her character is a complete mess. Debi Mazar and Peter Stormare are wasted in supporting roles, although Jason Isaacs is fun as Devlin.

The plot is thoroughly telegraphed throughout, and makes little sense when contemplated on. Banning's motivations are right out of a James Bond film, but all the characters seem to be in on the plot's thrust, appearing in places they should have no business knowing of, all to satisfy the story's action sequences (a story and screenplay contributed to four different writers). Even the script's tone varies, going bawdy one minute, then PG the next. Throw in an embarrassing James Brown cameo, and you have a mixed bag of a film.

Kevin Donovan's direction is good enough, although a swooping camera following swooping fight scenes might give the viewer swooping seasickness. The cinematography is beautiful, the special effects are okay, and the music complements nicely.

I am not sure if "The Tuxedo" was meant to be the first film of a new franchise, but on its own merits, it is kinda good. Unless you are a pessimist, then it is kinda not good. All those involved have done worse, but have done better as well.

link directly to this review at https://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=6153&reviewer=325
originally posted: 04/01/09 08:49:08
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User Comments

3/20/10 the dork knight Someone explain to me how Chan and Hewitt are a believable couple. 2 stars
3/17/09 Josie Cotton is a goddess There should be a limit to the amount of tit-jokes that you can put into a movie 2 stars
2/01/09 CTT A half way entertaining mess 3 stars
2/10/08 Pamela White not Jackie's best 2 stars
2/21/07 johnnyfog There are better movies with Hewitt's tits, you fucktards. Horrible movie! 1 stars
1/25/06 LP Quagmire Best action movie of the year! Hewitt and Chan make an adorable screen couple! 5 stars
10/20/05 Cheryl Mayfield Pretty crappy,but hearin JenniferLoveHewitt say she's a little bit constipated was worth it 2 stars
8/12/05 ES I was on set while they filmed the party scene, a good night, not a good movie 2 stars
7/27/05 Quigley a waste of time. one oft he worst films made yet. chan is now destoying his career. sick! 1 stars
1/23/05 keithers.. Chans golden days are looong gone 2 stars
3/24/04 Whatevr I'm still gagging on this movie 1 stars
2/28/04 Norman L.O. Saw this in theaters, fuck me it was bad! 1 stars
12/09/03 Jiz Started OK, until JLH opened her mouth, then the plot went to shit and so did the movie. 2 stars
6/22/03 John Aster Habig unless its Indiana Jones it ain't a good action flick if you MUST see Chan see Rush Hour 1 stars
4/14/03 Sébastien Langlois I have much like this movie and Jennifer Love-Hewit is my best actres, I the much like... 5 stars
3/05/03 bob leather jacket Good fight scenes, Jennifer Love Hewitt was pleasant to watch 4 stars
2/04/03 Goofy Maxwell a.k.a. Snoop Doug E. Doug She's my bizzle fo shizzle & he's the rizzle dizzle but he ain't no nizzle. Pizzle. }> 3 stars
1/01/03 Cheryl Mayfield Pretty crappy, but hearing Jennifer Love Hewitt say she's a little constipated was worth it 2 stars
12/31/02 Jenna Furr Hero babysits an Ashley Judd clone; villain gives a mermaid an enema. 2 stars
12/29/02 zephyrrider It was absolutely a great laugh. I enjoyed it so much I'm going to watch it again 4 stars
12/28/02 aiken drum I like Jackie Chan, but this movie sucked ass 1 stars
11/23/02 Joe Zappa Sophomoric, dumb, with scattered laughs...and HOT Jennifer Love Hewitt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2 stars
10/15/02 Angry Black Man JLH is the worst actress since J-LO. A big doo doo fest! 1 stars
10/13/02 Busby Berkeley and Fred Astaire Either the camera dances or Jackie does. Both at the same time, no can do. 2 stars
10/05/02 jessica A GREAT FILM 5 stars
10/01/02 Roy Smith Chan IS a special effect, nothing else was needed. JLH wore too much clothing. Sad. 2 stars
9/30/02 Shizzlenit JLH should be pussy-smacked...by my balls! This movie blows. JLH is one fine whore, though 1 stars
9/30/02 Jake what a disgrace! 1 stars
9/28/02 MyztiQ good for a laugh 3 stars
9/28/02 Uncle Salty Who told JLH she should do movies wearing clothes? Matrix-Fu wanna be. 1 stars
9/28/02 Rey LaRaza I agree. Jackie Chan's natural talents are wasted in CGI and rope tricks, it's heresy. 2 stars
9/27/02 Chancey Sugarpants Chan sucks least but he's not that good b/c he's out of his element. JLH should be slapped 2 stars
9/27/02 syrius Jackie Chan shouldn'tve done this after what happened to "The One", and this was even worst 2 stars
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  27-Sep-2002 (PG-13)



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