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Overall Rating

Awesome: 12.28%
Worth A Look: 6.14%
Just Average: 8.77%
Pretty Crappy: 8.77%

6 reviews, 78 user ratings

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Darkness Falls
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by wintermute

"The First Time Shouldn't Taste Like Blood"
1 stars

In a town without children, there lives a ghost without a face. And now, a man without a past must help a boy without a future - in front of an audience without interest.

Remember when you were a kid and you lost a tooth? And then those of you who had parents would put it under your pillow, so that the tooth fairy would take it away and leave you a shiny coin? Remember how SCARY that was?

No, of course you don't because it WASN'T scary, and neither was this movie.

C-list actors don't even do their best to keep this slasher-with-a-supernatural bent from devolving into a ridiculous ballet of swooping puppets, Ghostbusters-era special effects and horrific editing that will leave you completely unable to spatially situate yourself in the film. Yes, that's right, the main villain is an optical effect PUPPET who swooshes into the frame like a cheapo version of the original Headless Horsemen. I don't know who thought making the evil entity gurgle like a retarded Satanic baby would somehow add to the fright factor, but whoever it was I hope he/she was fired and then had their home burned to the ground.

There is a legend, there are child victims who grow up to be adult victims living in Las Vegas, (the city of light, if you aren't catching on to the heavy handed symbolism). There is a creature that can't stand the light and a man who can't stand the dark. There is an absurd love triangle that reminded me of nothing more than a watered down episode of The Red Show Diaries, minus David Duchovny and all the nudity. There is a lighthouse, and since this takes place in Maine, the police driver 80's era Ford Broncos. There is a hospital with one doctor and 8 nurses, and in the end, a ghost somehow catches fire. Whoops, did I spoil it for you?

No, I didn't, because it's highly unlikely you are still awake at this point, either in the review or the actual film itself. The director fell asleep about 1/3 of the way in, and for the rest of the movie the actors took their cues from a stack of flashcards, held up by crewmembers, with random sentences and emotions printed on them. In Hungarian.

The movie was really short. So short, in fact, that I only had time to contemplate suicide once. Having survived to write this review, I almost regret not having taken my own life shortly after opening sequence, if only to escape having lost part of my brain to storing memories of this pale, tumour-infested excuse of a film.

Many people have said that the scariest thing in a horror movie are child actors - well they're wrong. The scariest thing in horror movies is that it took 3 writers to come up with this steaming pile of celluloid excrement and that it was the highest-grossing film on its opening weekend. Don't you people have families to stay home with?

link directly to this review at https://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=6576&reviewer=321
originally posted: 01/28/03 11:07:37
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User Comments

12/16/18 Ajp wales I liked it. But i didnt like the stay in the light said all the time. 4 stars
9/13/17 morris campbell lame 1 stars
7/23/08 Shaun Wallner Totally Boring! 1 stars
12/01/07 Bnorm I thought this was supposed to be horror; my dog's thrown up scarier things than this 1 stars
2/15/07 Axel Leos stupid evil toothfairy movie, oh my god stay in the light stay in the light. 1 stars
12/04/06 Stanley Thai A good, short horror film. It gives you thrills and chills. 3 stars
10/05/06 Pritchett I can't believe there are people who actual admit to liking this pile of twat. 1 stars
6/04/06 William Goss Hoover and Oreck should sue. 1 stars
10/28/05 matt this movie kills more brain cells than jagermeister 1 stars
8/24/05 Copper Pure nonsense, the most ball-less "horror" film ever made. 1 stars
8/17/05 ES was this more like 'them' or 'cursed' or 'blair witch 2' or 'darkness' ? = it don't matter 1 stars
5/21/05 dfghfgh great movie, I don't know why everyone says that it sucks ass 5 stars
5/10/05 Sully not a single scene was scary. the director should switch to porn 1 stars
5/05/05 stuart To the director - are you out of your fucking mind???? 1 stars
2/09/05 axe "I don’t know what the fuck is cheesy anymore…" [actual director's quote] *HAHAHA* 1 stars
8/04/04 bondjamesbond some creepy elements to it but....the story line was crap and the scary wasnt scary........ 1 stars
7/18/04 Nikolai A Dan Quayle to the Dick Cheney of scariness 1 stars
5/08/04 Danielo Asdino Agree with Scott,a sucked movie. 1 stars
4/27/04 HorrorScribbler Always nice to see Emma, but you have to pick better scripts honey. 1 stars
4/17/04 valerie hart not very good movie and certanly not gory,scary,or even bloody crap story line 2 stars
4/16/04 LIAM JACKSON i think it would be funny if the people who slam this film were brutally murdered by TTF 5 stars
4/09/04 American Slasher Goddess Not anything extremely great,but it is entertaining. 3 stars
3/13/04 Paul Carone I laughed so hard I decorated a Christmas tree! 1 stars
3/02/04 Charles Tatum Not nearly as bad as everyone says 4 stars
2/23/04 Naturezrevenge zzzzzzzz BOO! ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz. Blah! Blah! Scary! BLAH!..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz 1 stars
2/22/04 Dr.Lecter For a site that slams critics, darkofnight is the dumbest critic I've seen ever 1 stars
2/16/04 caiphn Darkofnight is a fucking troll. 2 stars
2/06/04 Hank What the hell's the matter with you? This movie was great 5 stars
2/01/04 Joe The Villaness Looks Like A Bastard Child Of Freddy Kruger Only Not As Scary 1 stars
12/27/03 Chris If you like horror films this one isn't so bad. I liked the art techinques. Fun. 4 stars
11/28/03 Samuel reminded me of 'They' which sucked too!! 1 stars
11/13/03 jimmy d fuck! 2 stars
11/03/03 American Slasher Goddess Not anything great, but entertaining. 3 stars
10/12/03 Gary Great horror movie 5 stars
9/21/03 Jim Good 5 stars
9/18/03 Noacat This movie hurt me and I want to hurt it back. 2 stars
9/17/03 larry Good 5 stars
9/16/03 dontaye it is very scary better than the ring by a long shot 5 stars
9/15/03 Greg GREAT 5 stars
9/06/03 Fred THIS MOVIE ROCKS!!!! 5 stars
9/04/03 Joe Suck it, Action movie fan! Suck itl ong and suck it hard 5 stars
9/01/03 Joey Very good horror film 5 stars
8/13/03 thegeld this film makes u jump 2 much :-) 5 stars
7/23/03 Maggie This Movie Is the So good so get your facts stright 5 stars
6/30/03 dontaye darkness falls was so better than the ring 5 stars
6/13/03 Alice The beginning was very good, even scary, then it blew up 3 stars
6/12/03 Paul Trevk I like a lot this Movie, i mean, i knew it was a fake but it's fun enjoy a horror movie. 4 stars
6/10/03 john doe this movie was bad a$$ 4 stars
5/31/03 othee omg did Disney make this ? 1 stars
4/10/03 The Velcro Warlock Tooth Fairy as a Serial Killer? A skuzzumblupcious hoot! Santa Claus 2 is better. 2 stars
4/10/03 Valerie Cameron Sorry, E-Rock,, but amoebas don't have testes! 2 stars
4/10/03 E-Rock Darkness Falls... On this director's career. This film licks amoeba testes... 1 stars
3/11/03 Brandy The film was okay... kind of stupid, but okay... 3 stars
3/11/03 alex seals i thought it was good it hade me keep the light on for awhile i wish it had more of a plot 3 stars
3/06/03 She's Hott At least it has Emma Caufield 2 stars
3/02/03 DarkFaery70 I thought it was okay, but nothing to pay fullprice for 3 stars
2/18/03 Blame Wes Craven All these post-Scream horror flicks are awful, but this one takes the prize 1 stars
2/14/03 Chris Sorry, I thought this film was a guilty pleasure. I loved the settings! 4 stars
2/12/03 The Aussie Film Reviewer Clueless, thankless, hapless, hopeless. 1 stars
2/06/03 Tony Starks Had Potential . . . fell short, all though there were a few scares . . . 3 stars
2/04/03 meathole This was literally a joke. It was like a SNL parady of a movie. 1 stars
2/03/03 E-Rock Darkness Falls... On this director's career. This film licks amoeba testes... 1 stars
2/02/03 Collin The Villaness Lokks Like A Bastard Child Of Freddy Kruger Only Not As Scary 1 stars
2/01/03 Bridget Dougherty Could of, Would of, Should of been a better movie. 3 stars
2/01/03 Milkman Wes Meets all the requirements of a formula horror film. Generic but watchable. 4 stars
1/28/03 Kyle Bad, but not horrid. 2 stars
1/28/03 Jon C. Ericson Oh God!!! The Ring was sucessful now here comes the clones. 3 stars
1/27/03 kosta its about the tooth fairy.... i mean, COME THE FUCK ON 1 stars
1/27/03 Vicious "kicksass movie" sounds like a studio tool 1 stars
1/26/03 George Jung A movie about the tooth fairy called "Darkness Falls". Fuck me, even the title sucks. 1 stars
1/26/03 Cyberscout Can a whole town forget how to light a fire when the power goes out? 2 stars
1/26/03 Jack A Shameless Ripoff Of A Nightmare On Elm Street Terrible 1 stars
1/26/03 Want my time back Predictable, boring, awful effects. Burn the fucking negative. 1 stars
1/25/03 Want my Money Back Don't even rent it it is crap 1 stars
1/25/03 NeckBreaker Row Predictable plot, bad acting, more a comedy than a horror flick 1 stars
1/25/03 Grace A plot that doesn't go anywhere, bad acting, and cheesy effect. 2 stars
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  24-Jan-2003 (PG-13)
  DVD: 03-Aug-2004



Directed by
  Jonathan Liebesman

Written by
  Joe Harris

  Chaney Kley
  Emma Caulfield
  Andrew Bayly
  Emily Browning
  Lee Cormie
  Peter Curtin

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