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Overall Rating
2.9

Awesome: 10%
Worth A Look: 30%
Just Average: 0%
Pretty Crappy60%
Sucks: 0%

1 review, 4 user ratings


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Quattro Noza
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by Chris Parry

"With a little editing, this indie could make some cash. But it's not great."
2 stars

SCREENED AT THE 2003 SUNDANCE FILM FESTIVAL: Imagine The Fast And The Furious done as a school video project. A group of buds with ridiculously tricked up import cars race around town videotaping hard driving, a little violence and a pretty average story, all starring first time actors and filmed with a $3000 Sony video camera. Now imagine that the director actually knows his shit, has some decent effects at hand and really knows how to position the camera and suddenly you’re looking at a film that might not win critical praise, but certainly has potential as an audience favorite. That’s Quattro Noza; it won’t get any five star reviews, but if Fast and the Furious can pull in $140m at the box office, then a smart release of this film could certainly bring in ten.

Chato (Victor Larios) is a total homie. The film opens with him getting a blowjob in the front seat of his beat up old car, which most guys would be more than happy about. Not Chato. When the blower (Fabiola Barrios) fails to keep his pants clean (you know what I’m saying) he tells her, “Look what you did! Now my pants are dirty. Give me a tissue, bitch. You don’t have any? Then take your socks off. Now clean it up and throw the socks away, I don’t want that shit in my car…”

Now, most of us would assume the girl would tell him to go to hell at this point, but many girls today ain’t exactly the pinnacles of female empowerment. This chick does as she’s told and is happy to do so, as do almost every girl in this flick. Are we to chastise the writer/director, Joey Curtis, for writing weak female characters or is he perhaps making a point – that the status of women is a long way from where it should be, and that they’re ostensibly to blame?

Political theories aside, the real attraction for most people in this film is the motorhead action within it. The combined worth of these cars must have been in the millions, at least that’s how it appears to a novice, and despite the fact that the movie is shot on video, Curtis uses a variety of film tricks to distract us from the clearly inferior video format. With slo-motion, fast cuts, a variety of angles and digital effects, Curtis offers up a full plate for the eye and shows that with a budget he may well be a force to reckon with.

Sadly, his story, the dialogue and the acting say the opposite. The plot consists of Chato being thrown in jail for failing a blood test, while his girlfriend (Brianna Hernandez) discovers that he’s been less than faithful and starts looking for a new man. She finds it in street racer Derek (Robert Beaumont), AKA Quattro, but when Chato bust out of prison, he comes looking for his girl.

In terms of acting talent, the only one here that may have a future on the big screen is Robert Beaumont, and that’s more based on looks than ability. Curtis makes full use of Beaumont’s deep blue eyes, lingering close-up after close-up on the guy to the point where it starts to become annoying. Victor Larios doesn’t suck, in fact he’s quite good, but he also seems to be just playing himself and you wonder whether that’s enough to kick on in the biz. And as an actress, Brihanna Hernandez makes a good hat rack.

The big finish that this film builds to is uber-hokey and after a while the tricky effects become hard to take. There’s definitely something here, but it would take about twenty minutes of scene cutting to get it to a point where a teenage audience, undoubtedly the target market of the film, could sit still and enjoy the thing.

link directly to this review at https://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=6885&reviewer=1
originally posted: 01/20/03 21:15:10
[printer] printer-friendly format  
OFFICIAL SELECTION: 2003 Sundance Film Festival. For more in the 2003 Sundance Film Festival series, click here.

User Comments

7/31/03 Tommy Brihanna hernandez is the bomb in person. 4 stars
2/05/03 Chris Best scene is the view of the Audi's door while speeding through traffic 4 stars
1/29/03 BOSCA From the cinematography and soundtrack, the piece definitely has great potential. 4 stars
1/26/03 robin love the cars 5 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  17-Jan-2003 (NR)

UK
  17-Mar-2003

Australia
  17-Mar-2003


Directed by
  Joey Curtis

Written by
  Joey Curtis

Cast
  Brihanna Hernandez
  Victor Larios
  Robert Beaumont
  Greg Leone
  Albert Hernandez



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