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Overall Rating
3.34

Awesome38.17%
Worth A Look: 16.72%
Just Average: 5.68%
Pretty Crappy: 19.56%
Sucks: 19.87%

19 reviews, 203 user ratings


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Eyes Wide Shut
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by Wendell Walker

"And the Oscar for Wanker of the Year goes to: Stanley Kubrick"
2 stars

There are artists who go unappreciated in their day and only win respect with the passage of time, and there are those whose work seems important at the time, but who history finally dismiss. Eyes Wide Shut is the final evidence that Stanley Kubrick will be one of the latter.

Twenty-eight years living in the English countryside did Stanley Kubrick no good at all. From 2001 on, his esthetic strategies became more and more detached and he became more and more out of touch with life as it's lived on Planet Earth. As the decades drew on, it became more and more clear that his idea of good filmmaking was to compress and flatten the emotional and dramatic texture of the piece, and to micromanage the performances into a tightly constrained style that provides a wierd combination of an Olympian detachment and microscopic closeup.

The problem is not that this is a "bad" style. When paired with the right subject matter it operates with a tension that can be truly unsettling (as it was with Clockwork's ultraviolence) or absolutely revelatory (as it was with the wonder of space travel in 2001). But sometimes it just doesn't work; it drained all the piss right out of The Shining, for example, and it was practically the whole show (and thus, the whole failure) in Barry Lyndon.

The problem is that Kubric never learned either to choose the right material for that approach, or to modulate it to suit the material, and with Eyes Wide Shut he drives it right off the cliff, bringing it to material that is both awkwardly melodramatic (sometimes operating at the level of a soap opera) and wildly anachronistic.

Simply as a story it should never have progressed past the pitch stage. Just for one example: Cruise's character wanders the sexual wilderness all right, and with some small justification. But he never really DOES anything, and not because he chooses not to, but because circumstances intervene (he's called away, the phone rings, he gets some bad news...). So why should we care?

The writing is iconic and vague, with sinister allusions to "these guys" and assertions that "you don't know what you're getting into" standing in for substantive information. Kubrick thinks he doesn't need conventional dramatic values, thinks his execution can raise the film above them, but the end result is just titters from the audience.

There is also a host of other problems that should just not be coming from a world-class filmmaker:
-- the contrast between the generous portions of female nudity and the virtual absence of male nudity is depressing in this day and age. An orgy with 90% of the men in robes and the women uniformly barebreasted and in G-strings? Come on...
-- who in New York would ever give a tinker's damn about an orgy like this? What a stupid idea for the lynchpin of the "thriller" plot: okay, maybe you want to bring the story up to date, but why do you have to set it in the Don't-Care capital of the world and then have the participants threatening Cruise over his knowledge of it?
-- similarly, why is it news, and such devastating news at that, to this guy that his wife has compelling sexual fantasies? And a doctor, to boot??!?
-- what's the deal with the grainy film? It looks like a home movie.
-- Tom Cruise CAN be directed into some compelling performances (see Born on the Fourth of July if you doubt it), but Kubrick lets him fall back on his handful of little Tom Cruise mannerisms, and when his big crying scene comes it comes without any justification in the foregoing.
-- Speaking of which, Cruise's crisis is COMPLETELY internal. He wanders the streets of New York falling into one sexual situation after another, but mooning about does not a study make, and the script fails to give him anything to project onto.

There IS some good news here. I honestly believed in the marriage of Cruise and Kidman, and their scenes ring wonderfully true. But the core of the film is not about them, it's about a solitary wanderer. Of course, it's shot with exquisite control. And the masks are cool.

But after 30+ years of pulling for Stanley Kubrick, of making excuses for him and trying ever so hard to find substance on a blank wall, I give up. It's pretty annoying that a demonstrably talented guy, given all the resources and freedom he needs, along with the good will of the entire film industry and a good portion of the public, can't do better than this.

It's no slam at Hollywood that it backed a film like this, allowing Kubrick to dictate it ad nauseum. But it's pathetic to see the film geeks of the world working so hard to justify such a lame-ass piece of business as Eyes Wide Shut.

link directly to this review at https://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=724&reviewer=82
originally posted: 07/26/99 20:17:26
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User Comments

6/16/20 Carl Bruun While not Kubrick’s best, it’s still worth seeing. 4 stars
12/29/17 morris campbell intersting wellmade well acted but nothing special 4 stars
10/10/16 Louise Like a lot of Kubrick's stuff but this didn't really work. And Kidman was AWFUL! 2 stars
5/16/16 brian Beautifully filmed stool is still just a pile of crap. Snxxxxx.... 2 stars
3/21/15 stanley welles haunting and brilliantly executed 5 stars
7/29/14 D. The R. Slow, dull, inept dialogue, insultingly trite. Sorry, Stanley. 2 stars
6/10/14 Max Dreamlike, nightmarish and theatrical. Kubrick is a master. 5 stars
12/10/12 Nellie Kubrick's best movie. Riveting and engrossing, can't turn it off!!! 5 stars
2/19/11 Ark Great water-cooler mystery as what happened to Nightingale. B4 Cruise became such a douche! 5 stars
6/02/10 User Name Ignore the excessive sex, and you will find a richly layered masterpiece. 5 stars
5/13/10 Eyes Wide Shut: An Enigma I enjoy the intrigue raised in terms of the symbolism, "overt," dark references.. 4 stars
1/17/10 babette Secret Societies. 5 stars
3/11/09 PAUL SHORTT A STEAMY, DREAMY BIT OF FILMMAKING 2 stars
2/04/09 Faraz J Riding only on the nudity. Crappy movie. 2 stars
11/03/08 David If you're stupid, you'll probably hate this film. If not, it's truly stunning. 5 stars
4/11/08 Duke of Omnium Should have been called "Yuppiescum Almost Gets Laid". Dull, but pretentious. 1 stars
10/23/07 Ivana Mann As sexually stimulating as a hooker on novocaine.Cold & distant...a real weenie-shrinker! 1 stars
9/08/07 William Goss Thoroughly dull, so far as sexual odysseys go. 2 stars
4/09/07 fools♫gold Damn, are the DVD interviews something to watch. 5 stars
1/25/07 Matt Monumentally pretentious crap. Rather cut the balony and watch a fuck film. 1 stars
12/20/06 Bitchflaps Doesn't benefit from the mediocre leads, yet it's fascinating and compulsively rewatchable. 4 stars
11/24/06 David Pollastrini Kubrick must have died before this was finished and they just slapped a the footage togethe 1 stars
11/10/06 Bill Hi all 4 stars
7/07/06 chienne Very amusing review Parry, & quite right. Nicole should try play school. 1 stars
6/07/06 Peggy Doty TOTALLY AWFUL COULDN'T WATCH IT 1 stars
5/07/06 chienne Nicole Who? Absolute offal! WTF was that? Yurk!! 1 stars
2/02/06 John Cruise is way in over his head - not as good as expected 2 stars
12/02/05 Bleach A movie for the intelligent 5 stars
10/21/05 Luca Not entertaining, nor involving, nor erotic. A bad movie barely interesting to analyse. 2 stars
8/05/05 Pierre STANLEY KUBRICK IS THE GREATEST DIRECTOR OF ALL TIME, AND ALL OF YOU ARE LOSERS. 5 stars
6/03/05 Pinkline Jones Fly Wide Open Let Down Pointless beyond belief 1 stars
5/01/05 Sophie terribly dissapointing 2 stars
3/17/05 indrid cold Not good. Incredibly ponderous in its pacing and self-importance. 2 stars
1/29/05 Kostas Boyiopoulos A masterful and complex anatomy of sexual fantasy, a masterpiece of Postmodernism. 5 stars
1/20/05 Mr. Durden Awesome movie, but if you don't like artsy stuff, you'll hate this. 5 stars
1/15/05 Shaun Only one reason to watch this movie and that's to see Nicole Kidman's awesome body! 2 stars
1/01/05 jake Bad movie only made somewhat bearable by the super sexy Nicole Kidman getting fucked hard 3 stars
11/12/04 Ginn Gold Jerry, Gold! 5 stars
11/10/04 monkeybear nothing can make this boring, stupid, headache inducing film appear clever. 1 stars
10/29/04 HL Talk About Erotic and Weird. Very Compelling 5 stars
8/07/04 john bale Nicole nice naked, with Kubrick CRUISING on Valium in fleshfest nightmare thriller 3 stars
8/07/04 Stuart Kidmans acting was irritating and overated - as was the movie 2 stars
7/14/04 malcolm nicole bucknekkit & ending with the word 'fuck' were cool, pretentious+wierd doesn't = good 3 stars
3/30/04 Nichael Paysden Senile old man's movie with a lousy title. 1 stars
2/08/04 KCobain The bomb. The absolute bomb. Brilliant! 5 stars
12/04/03 john Tom Cruise is slightly in over his head on this one and it shows - good concept but boring 3 stars
9/26/03 Jim-0404 Kubrick's best, Cruise's best. Hey Weinberg, IT IS A MASTERPIECE !!! 5 stars
7/30/03 Nicole Kubrick fan, but I totally didn't get this 2 stars
7/11/03 Indrid Cold It's excrutiatingly slow-paced with no intellectual or emotional payoff. 2 stars
6/17/03 Angela thought provoking with misleading plot lines comparable to hitchcock. visually stunning. 5 stars
3/25/03 Jack Sommersby Flawed but mesemrizing and entertaining. A better male lead would have helped. 4 stars
2/25/03 y2mckay High titty factor aside, this is truly and underappreciated Kubrick film. 4 stars
1/22/03 Pinkline Jones Bonerbility Factor: 9.8 Storyline: Absolute zero 1 stars
12/29/02 Joseph Hedrick Have no expectations 5 stars
12/18/02 Armando Del Romero Probably Kubrick's most neglected Masterpiece 5 stars
11/17/02 Lady who hates romantic comedies zzzzz - most boring orgy I have ever seen. No wonder Tom and Nicole split up 1 stars
11/03/02 Matthew Tragic 2 stars
10/14/02 Charles Tatum How can tits and ass be so damn boring? 1 stars
9/16/02 Zefram Mann Slow, pointless crap. The Flintstones is more intellectual than this shit. 1 stars
8/28/02 Iris Peduncle I used to copy Nicole Kidman, but now my butt is sore from not wiping it enough. 3 stars
8/05/02 R.L.A. masterpiece. 5 stars
7/26/02 karen goldstein Any One Who Likes This Movie Just Enjoys Wathcing Naked Women Cause The Movie Is BORING!! 1 stars
7/26/02 Soulis my wife and I have noticed that most men like this movie, most women hate it 4 stars
7/26/02 I Can't Swim Its a dream movie so it doesn't HAVE a plot! Young losers stay away, its too much for you! 5 stars
7/10/02 .Choadushouse. i love this movie. it's just so odd! thats all that matters! 5 stars
6/29/02 David A. Raises an issue--the creepy private lives of the rich and famous. I think they killed her. 4 stars
6/24/02 Law Kubrick lost it 2 stars
5/26/02 Nicole I could be wrong, but I didn't see a plot......just orgies. Hmm, sounds like porn. 2 stars
4/27/02 maximal01 Aaaah..maybe Kubrick did this as a gag. maybe there IS NO meaning. It's soft porn, baby. 2 stars
3/11/02 KMG Ya know, I think this is just a documentary day in the life of Tommy. Sans Penelope. 4 stars
3/05/02 Veronica Foxx aka The Raven-Haired Temptress Boring and strange. I never thought Tom C. was gay before, but I do now; movie is gay too. 2 stars
2/27/02 Alan Smithee Not Kubrick's best, but still very interesting. Ms. Kidman does a great job. 4 stars
2/24/02 iulian sorin nice 2 stars
2/24/02 John Linton Roberson Much more interesting had Kidman been the protagonist; still, good Kubrick, if not great. 4 stars
1/27/02 Jessica Davis Incomprehensible plus who wants to see Nicole Kidman wiping her butt &Leelee S. as a whore? 2 stars
12/28/01 Phil M. Afficianado Your mood, life views, values, principles will largely determine your reaction. But see it 4 stars
11/03/01 Hunter Nicole Kidman Nude-What a Surprise! Too bad there's nothing to see! 1 stars
10/31/01 Harrison C. (Earnest Man) Vinessa and Leelee are favorite stars in this film 4 stars
10/30/01 daniel mr. cruise was in way over his head in this one i'm afraid. 4 stars
10/10/01 esat duymus I love this film because of nicole kidman.I think she is wonderful actriss 5 stars
8/08/01 E-Funk Only Kubrick could make such a fucking cool movie out of such a limp story. 5 stars
7/13/01 othree Cruise was his awsome self, Kidman was weak/confusing, kinky society pft! it was a big mess 2 stars
7/02/01 INCUBATOR Sometimes u just don`t no why it`s so good 5 stars
6/27/01 Steve A wholesome film for the entire family! Get the kids in the Taurus and go see this one! 2 stars
6/19/01 PaleDavid Compelling. Unnerving. Sex reduced to dirt. Brilliant. 5 stars
6/13/01 Bada Bing Crosby The Master tries hard but I refuse to trash him or the movie 4 stars
6/03/01 Sir Harrison Chough I have this movie, but I never watch it because it's too long, too slow and unexciting 2 stars
5/21/01 Harrison Chough My favorite woman was only shown once in this movie 2 stars
4/29/01 :P Something different, but the worst closing dialogue in cinema history without doubt. 4 stars
4/20/01 Harrison Chough I wish Vinessa Shaw had been shown more. She wasn't shown enough 4 stars
3/31/01 Jesse L the Godfather is a moron 1 stars
3/31/01 Jesse L UGH! UGH! UGH! UGH! UGH! Five UGHS! 1 stars
3/28/01 Jamie O'Neill Eyes Wide Shut is a unique film. 5 stars
3/16/01 Kook Sloooooooooooooooooooow. Kidman sucked. 1 stars
3/07/01 Sanja please tell me, why do we have to watch their own bed problems?! 1 stars
3/01/01 Scott Kubrick's last film is about infidelity in a lonely marrige not sex.Not his best though 4 stars
2/16/01 Michael Nicholls Fastidiously crafted, directorially commanding and endlessly intriging... 5 stars
2/03/01 Althaia This movie sucked. 1 stars
1/31/01 Big Isil strange, provoking, a bit slow, Kubrick leaves with some dignity 4 stars
1/22/01 Sully tried to like it- but it just plain sucked. slow pace made me furious. waste of time. 2 stars
1/21/01 jmr kubrick's last and best 5 stars
11/14/00 salvo toscano love Kubrick, but this film doesn't work at all. And Tom's pretty crappy 3 stars
10/24/00 Viking Grow a brain, Gremlin...you've missed the point !!! 5 stars
10/23/00 Gremlin Shitiest movie I have ever seen. I wipe my ass on this gay ass movie. Patooie! 1 stars
8/31/00 JB McMichael Kubrick can't do shit right. Worst dribble I have ever seen. 1 stars
8/07/00 Elvisfan maybe i am not smartenough to grasp it all but it bored me for the most part 3 stars
8/01/00 Delusia Kubrick does no wrong! 5 stars
6/19/00 Beavis Not enough nudity, dammit! Change it, Butthead! 3 stars
5/29/00 danilo i'm not sure if i got it all, but its visual beauty stunned me 5 stars
5/08/00 dimlight A DR Evil lookalike stalking Tom Cruise it doesn't get any funnier than that!!! 3 stars
3/30/00 misternuts Film is a stunning, cerebral journey. The end does make sense (irony - Clockwork Orange). 5 stars
3/29/00 yankee great, why do guys do dumb shit. This will stay with you. 5 stars
3/25/00 Matthew Smith kubrick is a master. will stay in your mind for days to come 5 stars
3/24/00 Lesley worst movie I've ever seen 1 stars
3/19/00 Keith Only Very intelligent Kubrick fans will get it. If your not, don't see it. 5 stars
3/04/00 Ryan Of course it's not sexy. It's not meant to be. It's meant to be scary and dreamlike. 4 stars
2/17/00 Andi C. I HATED this movie 1 stars
2/12/00 Skye Chapman i can't describe my disappointment. (maybe i just did) read the book - it's great! 1 stars
12/01/99 Sam Iyengar A piece of trash. I agree with Kidmann's last word "Fuck", except you add "ed" at the end. 1 stars
11/26/99 don stimulates your mind 5 stars
11/22/99 Ralf Behet Not without flaws, but absorbing most of the way. Cruise is fine in the lead. 5 stars
11/20/99 Vick Di Brecci A nice slow high 5 stars
11/18/99 bishopj@pumpkinsfan.com Kubrick strays well off the beaten path in this one, weird, kind of a David Lynch feel. 5 stars
11/18/99 Tyson Stewart The most brilliant, haunting art picutre ever made. It perfect in every way! 5 stars
11/07/99 Mickey More Kubrick's recent death almost seems justified. Sex has never been so unappealing. 1 stars
11/04/99 Mike Quite riveting 4 stars
10/31/99 Ryan Philippe gets hit by a car and it rules I made a mess in my sheets. 1 stars
10/26/99 Katherine One of the best movie I have seen this year ! 5 stars
10/26/99 pipeman Masterful. The best movie in years. 5 stars
10/26/99 Ed The best movie I've ever seen first run in the theatres. Kubrick is the master. 5 stars
10/26/99 Karahde Khan The ultimate sex relationships film. I don't know what the ones who hate it were expecting. 5 stars
10/25/99 the snu very tasty,be prepared to debate over it with loved ones.... 4 stars
10/20/99 Antti Where's the story. All I saw was sex after sex 1 stars
10/18/99 Tommi People who think this is crappy should be shot 5 stars
10/17/99 JonnyAngel Great date movie! (ummmm, No) 2 stars
10/07/99 Jonny Too bad Stan the Man had to end with this mess. 2 stars
9/19/99 Costars Flawed but fascinating 5 stars
9/18/99 RelliK Fucking Awesom 5 stars
9/10/99 Timbo I love flesh Flesh rules like OZZY 5 stars
9/08/99 azzad snoozefest 2 stars
9/08/99 Raymond Great! 5 stars
9/04/99 Weird Andy At it's best in its quiet moments. Pollack is terrific. 4 stars
8/26/99 Ami the Wonderbread It feels like genius, but Kubrick still was missing something 4 stars
8/21/99 the Schlock Like every other one of Kubrick's films... it kicked all ass. 5 stars
8/21/99 Olivia Neutron-Bomb Bloody fantastic, and that's that. 5 stars
8/20/99 Fork Those that haven't seen Dr. Strangelove and The Shining should not see this movie. 5 stars
8/20/99 Heather Intriguing, thought provoking movie, great cinematography 5 stars
8/18/99 Geoff Yikes! The director ain't the only thing that's dead... 2 stars
8/17/99 reveal Pretty stupid 1 stars
8/14/99 Keith Kubrick is a Fucking Genius! If you think this is a porno film, you are a fucking idiot! 5 stars
8/12/99 ADD Awful. 1 stars
8/12/99 Elizaveta The music, the cinematography, EVERYTHING, lives up to Kubrick's vision - one of his best! 5 stars
8/12/99 Pierce Lanson Over-hyped, slow, absolutely non-erotic,nice photography 2 stars
8/12/99 Steve Kelley Like Thin Red Line, those "it's brilliant" reviews are so much pomposity. 3 stars
8/10/99 Andy Truely one of the great cinematic masterpieces!! 5 stars
8/03/99 c790 A Kubrick masterpiece. People will talk about this film for 20 years 5 stars
8/03/99 jeff call All undressed with no place to go-- it was really weak--nice tits Nicole 2 stars
8/02/99 Trevor Snow Good flick. Might not be one you'd take your girlfriend to. 4 stars
8/02/99 beachlovr9 Tom is the only one who did a good job in this film. It was a great story line though. 4 stars
8/01/99 JimBob lots of gratuitous T.&A. but whats the point??? 3 stars
8/01/99 Elmyr23@yahoo.com An hour too long, thirty years too late 2 stars
7/31/99 danwild Worst film Kubrick ever made. Was he trying to show how stupid the superstars are? 2 stars
7/31/99 Curt Neuman There are people who understand what Kubrick is saying and peope who don't. You don't. 5 stars
7/29/99 Fork The best movie of the last 3 years. 5 stars
7/28/99 Sabina Great film 5 stars
7/27/99 bewitch324@aol.com Really slow and boring. Very self-indulgent and shallow. Nicole is excellent as usual. 2 stars
7/27/99 sydney a beautiful film full of Freudian twists and turns 5 stars
7/27/99 Doug Thompson (DGThompson@aol.com) Big fan of all people involved, but this movie was a big disappointment. 3 stars
7/27/99 kizirk seeing as i didn't know what to expect when i walked into the theater i was impressed 4 stars
7/26/99 Michael E. Bryant unquestionably Kubrick's worst film and the worst of 1999. 1 stars
7/26/99 Todd Roberts Brutal film. Couldn't care less for the characters 2 stars
7/26/99 Mavraam I kept waiting for a point. I still am! 1 stars
7/26/99 emperor Kubrick is a genius, 5 stars
7/26/99 Blubberbot If you love Kubrick you'll love this film. 5 stars
7/26/99 Bitch Hypnotic, provocative and haunting, it is one of Kubrick's best films. 5 stars
7/25/99 critic very disappointing--the last line of the movie topped it all off--watching it is absurd 1 stars
7/25/99 Randall Beautiful, that's all I can say 5 stars
7/24/99 The Graduate A brilliant look at male fantasy and the temptation of infidelity. Kubrick did it again! 5 stars
7/23/99 dowdy Eyes Wide Shut is an extraordinary film that was very different from what I expected 5 stars
7/22/99 16 in. of swingin' meat and a bucket of balls Kubrick got lucky. I didn't get to die after watching this turd. 1 stars
7/22/99 Kirgo1 An empty trip into Prentense.Horny boys who can';t afford porn will like it. 1 stars
7/22/99 jvt Those who loved THE THIN RED LINE are the same who will like this 5 stars
7/22/99 Cody Cannon burns a wicked trip into your brain for days after its over 5 stars
7/21/99 tigerlette focus:redemption-vidio,nice-audio,awful 4 stars
7/21/99 PhilmPhreak Wow Naked Nicole, zzzzzzzzz, wow naked chicks, zzzzzz, look at all the sex, zzzzz 4 stars
7/21/99 grunter hollow, unconvincing, pretentious, ultimately saying nothing 1 stars
7/21/99 Jim Holthaus A movie that will leave you wondering what you just saw. 4 stars
7/21/99 Nessus Surreal, but still poignent, delivered at a snails pace with maximum effect 5 stars
7/21/99 Hypnos Amazing, disturbing, provoking, intellectual, and passionate. Just plain fucking brilliant. 5 stars
7/19/99 Coxian dragged-out, long, & dull/eerie exorcist piano best part 2 stars
7/19/99 Bob, Lord of Evil You cannot watch this movie- You have to be in it. 5 stars
7/19/99 ALiaS wow, one of those films that makes you sit there about 5 mins after it ended 5 stars
7/18/99 Zoit other than the naked chics, this movie sucked! 2 stars
7/18/99 Randall Made me feel dirty, i liked it 5 stars
7/18/99 bridgette less than i expected, but still quite good. music is haunting, and you have to love alan c! 4 stars
7/17/99 Arkansas Jon A slow but gripping study on the effects of jealousy. Sad that WB caved with the edits. 4 stars
7/17/99 David M. Hoats Very compelling, portraying sex and nudity as mysterious, exciting and yet common place. 5 stars
7/17/99 wendy@internetx.net Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman make this film excellent! 5 stars
7/17/99 dbx nudity, and leaves you wondering... ! 5 stars
7/17/99 buddy Hail it just because it's Kubrick? I think not. 1 stars
7/17/99 Ariel Interesting in many ways. Why they had to be that famous couple in the whole world??? 4 stars
7/17/99 Michelle One of the few movies this summer that REALLY makes you think. 5 stars
7/16/99 tigerlette long but visually beautiful and redemptive 4 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  16-Jul-1999 (R)
  DVD: 12-Jun-2001

UK
  N/A

Australia
  05-Aug-1999 (R)




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