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Overall Rating

Awesome: 25.86%
Worth A Look: 15.52%
Just Average: 3.45%
Pretty Crappy: 10.34%

2 reviews, 46 user ratings

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Beowulf (1998)
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by Vibeseeker

"A real howler."
1 stars

A scowling lone rider, a man who cares for no one and lives and dies by his sword - yawn... it's another Christopher Lambert fantasy B movie. Not perturbed by humiliations such as the Highlander sequels and Mortal Kombat, he's back again, born half of heaven and half of hell, as the bad ass Beowulf. Entering a fortress on the edge of darkness, Beowulf's task is to face a terror that the besieged locals surrounded by their enemy's army have no escape from. Cue swashbuckling action to a woefully grinding techno soundtrack.

80s mythical fantasy films used to have a certain charm (Beast Master, Krull), but the 90s generation are as soulless as the computer games most of them are based on. Although not based on a game itself, Beowulf does feature the body that inspired Tombraiders Laura Croft: the pneumatic Mitra, whose acting could easily be mistaken for computer animation.

Apart form Lambert's mid-battle somersaults the only interest is why the evil creature looks like something from an outtake of The Predator.

Respect though to the young actress Velaquez, who five minutes into the movie, despite being saved by Lambert decides she can't take any more, so off Lambert's horse she jumps to be put out of her misery.

She obviously knew it was going to be a real howler of a movie. ---David Michael

link directly to this review at https://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=730&reviewer=251
originally posted: 08/26/99 12:35:18
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User Comments

12/05/09 Duke7734 Pretty lame especially LAMBERT 2 stars
11/26/07 Jackal Best movie i ever seen Biatches 5 stars
10/03/07 michael chandler this movie sucked 1 stars
11/23/06 mikel the film is not totaly done by on its characters 3 stars
3/15/06 Jess Bresnan This movie was so horrible. The worst movie i had ever seen in my whole life 1 stars
9/29/05 BillyBob Martin this movie was the shit..i saw it nine times...your rock Christopher 5 stars
7/06/05 prettydrea this movie sucked!it has almost nothing to do with the original beowulf. 1 stars
12/01/04 Natasha Snyder IT BLOWS!! 1 stars
10/12/04 tatum The ancient prose is better! 2 stars
11/25/03 Cherry Lie Centeno I've seen the movie once and I'm planning to watch it again.It was great I tell you 4 stars
6/04/03 tommyknocker if you have nothing to do, watch it! 2 stars
4/12/03 Andrew Dollar Cheesy but entertaining enough 4 stars
4/24/02 CrispyFlash Movie was great.Creators did a fine job mixing techno/midevil weapons 5 stars
3/26/02 Vangelis A. This movie is so bad that its great. No one can deliver cheese with such authenticity as CL 5 stars
2/06/02 Zargo Entertainingly bad 5 stars
12/20/01 Blindeye Its trying to be a fight scene movie, but 50 backflips do not a movie make... 2 stars
11/09/01 Piano_Fingers88 This was possibly the worst movie anyone could've created... what a waste of time. 1 stars
9/16/01 Tony the tiger with commentary by Steven the snake Good clean fun 5 stars
8/20/01 Mr. Postman I'm tired of "critics" trashing this movie because it doesnt appeal to the"mature" audience 5 stars
8/08/01 Smelvis Pretty cool actually - soundtrack worked without really fitting! 4 stars
5/22/01 Travis Dunbar It was a good sci-fi rendition of an old story. 4 stars
3/27/01 Faethon Lambert and the music raised it a lot.Pretty nice for a B one. 4 stars
3/22/01 Michael Jay Kitchens I thought it was pretty damn kickass. The acting was pretty damn good. CL is BADASS!!! 4 stars
2/17/01 Angela Pretty good, but definately a B movie 4 stars
1/21/01 David An awesome flick 5 stars
1/03/01 cyost2 D&D meet the Predator with zippers& loadspeakers 1 stars
12/09/00 cyril suszckiewicz good b-movie - excellent juno reactor soundtrack -- a hit not a miss -- beowolf is cool 5 stars
12/07/00 George This is a brilliant movie. Ignore the critics if you like B-movies!!!!!! 5 stars
12/05/00 Rob Almost as bad as Mortal Kombat II. Not worth it. 1 stars
12/03/00 Reno A thumping soundtrack and original script. Top stuff!! 5 stars
11/28/00 Chad Personally I thought this movie was pretty badass...even better if you have read Beowulf... 5 stars
11/15/00 Noelle Roy It was a fantastic movie 5 stars
11/09/00 Jim Blankinship This movie isnt that bad, it is more of a movie ment for kids 4 stars
11/08/00 Larry Highlander 4 ?????????? 3 stars
11/06/00 Vegetol Good action movie, but only for fans. 5 stars
10/28/00 Lordbowler Good Action Flick, Good Effects. 4 stars
10/27/00 Jason It was bad ass for those with an I.Q. over 3 5 stars
9/22/00 steve webster Utter dross. 1 stars
5/27/00 me Lambert's performance was right on target. Unfortunately, the movie was not. 2 stars
1/24/00 Christian Henriksson Beware of the darkness - in shape of this movie! 1 stars
11/04/99 Mickey "Father Death" MacJohnstmyster From the producers of Mortal Kombat , yeah like that's high selling point . Worse than MK . 1 stars
10/06/99 Gromit Piece of Crap 1 stars
9/18/99 michel just a waste of time! 2 stars
8/26/99 Meepos A total diaster. 1 stars
12/22/98 Shadow Raider No comment. The novels were better. 1 stars
11/25/98 Lord Of The Dunce What a piece of crap. Bleached Chris Lambert and a painful rush job. Not worth your time. 1 stars
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  02-Feb-1998 (R)


  26-Aug-1999 (MA)

Directed by
  Graham Baker

Written by
  Mark C. Leahy

  Christopher Lambert
  Oliver Cotton
  Rhona Mitra
  Gotz Otto
  Charles Robinson

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