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Overall Rating

Awesome: 4.43%
Worth A Look: 8.87%
Just Average: 7.88%
Pretty Crappy: 14.78%

12 reviews, 131 user ratings

Wild Wild West
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by desdemona

"Will Smith's video was better."
3 stars

The biggest problem with this movie was that it just did not FLOW. There was no magic there; the actors seemed like actors and the script seemed like it was slopped-together in a week.

I loved Men in Black. I really did. In fact, it's probably on my top 20 list, and that's pretty good considering the number of movies I've seen. So of course I thought Wild Wild West, since it's from the same director as MIB, would at least live up to its predecesor, if not completely surpass it. Yeah.

First of all, by using the clues given in the movie and doing a little simple math, WWW supposedly takes place in 1869. All I have to say to that is...my, don't they have some highly advanced machinery for the mid-nineteenth century? I didn't even know we had the technology to do some of the things they did in the movie NOW, let alone in 1869.

And how about those PAINFULLY obvious blue-screen effects? Enough said.

Wild Wild West is the story of police officers Jim West (Will Smith) and Artemis Gordon (Kevin Kline) trying to track down criminal Arliss Loveless (Kenneth Branagh), who is trying to rule the world by kidnapping all the best scientists and creating something that will make the President of the U.S. surrender his entire army.

Jim is the brutish cowboy of the team, whereas Artemis is sort of the Inspecter Gadget/McGyver of the two. Together they have some zany adventures while trying to stop Loveless, but none of these wacky moments hold the smoothness that MIB did. The magic just did not seem to be between Smith and Kline as it was between Smith and Tommy Lee Jones. Even the complete lack of believability could have been quietly excused if the acting would have ran together more smoothly, but that was more the director's fault than the actors'.

In fact, some scenes that the audience was obviously supposed to laugh hysterically at didn't hardly get a ghost of a giggle. Not that it WASN'T funny, it just didn't come across that way.

First we must discuss why the story was so bad. Loveless was in the war and lost his lower half of his body (which was the subject of some vicious exchanges betweem West and Loveless, along with West's being black), which made him a little loopy, and he decided he would extract revenge by taking over the U.S. But when we see some of the gadgets that Gordon and Loveless's team of merry scientists come up with, we must wonder if this year 1869 is in some parallel universe in which they have better technology than we do right now in 1999. These "gadgets" are things we'd expect to see in the modern, sci-fi Men in Black, but NOT in some 1960's TV show spin-off.

Later, we're introduced to Rita (Salma Hayek), who is looking for her scientist father who was also kidnapped by Loveless. Rita, however, is of no importance whatsoever to the movie, and has no effect on the movie as a whole. Why was she even in the movie? Probably just to have another big name to broadcast as being in the movie.

Some of the effects were pretty cool, but most movies now have "pretty cool" effects, so that can no longer be a factor in deciding whether or not the movie was good. Unless, of course, you're speaking of The Matrix. Aside from that, most of the desert scenes were so obviously blue-screen backdrops it makes me wonder how small the budget for this movie really was. It seems like the entire budget was spent on getting reputable actors with no regard whatsoever to script, dialogue, or scenery.

The acting was the best thing about this movie. Will Smith is great in everything he does; he always provides that much-needed comic relief (which he is very good at) while being serious enough to show that he has true acting ability. Same goes for Kevin Kline, who is an extremely good actor in everything he does (check out In & Out and Midsummer Night's Dream). Salma Hayek is also another very talented, diverse actor (or rather actRESS), as is Kenneth Branagh, whose accomplished career as an actor and director is far beyond impressive. He's directed and starred in many difficult movies, such as Much Ado About Nothing, Hamlet, Mary Shelly's Frankenstein, and Theory of Flight. The actors were very good, and it was obvious that they were trying to make up for what the script just did not do--get you into the movie.

I must say I am disappointed. Hint to diretcor: high-tech does not belong in the wild wild West.

link directly to this review at https://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=736&reviewer=86
originally posted: 07/23/99 00:38:45
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User Comments

12/19/09 Jeff Wilder Decent attempts by Smith and Kline can't make up for ineptitude in the writing. 1 stars
10/27/09 the dork knight Looks a bit-washed out and gross. Visuals aside, it's hella funny 4 stars
8/24/08 Samantha Pruitt pretty corny, but still a good time. The song is cool though, and the giant spider was cool 3 stars
12/19/07 Pamela White nothing like the origional 2 stars
5/28/07 action movie fan it was fun to watch a james bond of the time it was set in 4 stars
5/07/07 R.W.Welch Waste of good F/X money. Watch reruns of the old TV show instead. 2 stars
4/18/07 Stevo UK Takes the piss out of true American history. I know that, and im from Yorkshire. 1 stars
12/31/06 del Ahh, the beginning of Will Smith's decline... 1 stars
12/25/06 johnnyfog Good documenterary on Salma's ass. Kevin Kline made me laugh though... 3 stars
10/08/06 Ned was a wee on when i watched it, but it kept me entertained with all of the loud noises 3 stars
10/04/06 Indrid Cold Why were people so down on this? I thought it was quite entertaining and original. 4 stars
7/12/06 Roy Sci-Fi was cool, action was cool,but all to far-fetched for a movie set in 1870 3 stars
6/10/06 Billy Warner Brothers sure knows what CGI is all about, but I was bored 3 stars
5/20/06 Kcaj Has it's good moments but the storyline is plastic. But it ain't that bad 3 stars
2/06/06 Anthony James Bond meets Cowboys 2 stars
9/12/05 Total Crap Extremely Forgettable Movie. Dumb jokes. Hell, Shark Tale is better than this. 1 stars
8/17/05 ES Ack! this movie got a better rating than 'Soldier'= giant spiders my ass! 1 stars
3/13/05 Jeff Anderson The kind of greedy & humorless JUNK that makes me hate W. Smith films forever & I MEAN THAT 1 stars
10/25/04 DM I'll be as clear as possible: THIS MOVIE SUCKS! 1 stars
6/03/04 Mitch "Citizen Kane" it ain't, but I've always found it entertaining enough. 3 stars
2/22/04 Kyle *smirk* 1 stars
1/14/04 Samuel a decent cast wasted 2 stars
1/05/04 tricky dick Who should my ex-wife blow for me to get my money back? 2 stars
12/19/03 LP1 Stupid but hilarious 5 stars
10/31/03 Littlepurch Actors gr8! Jokes hilarious and never stop! Story's not too bad either. 4 stars
10/14/03 DrSkyTower A steaming pile of Horse Shit 1 stars
3/31/03 rash xxx 5 stars
3/09/03 Matt Thiel I didn't pay to see this. These idiots don't deserve my money, and they don't deserve yours 1 stars
2/09/03 Joe What A Piece Of Crap 1 stars
2/09/03 Joe What A Piece Of Crap 1 stars
10/21/02 Chiend Bad enough to give Hollywood a bad name, if such a thing is possible. 1 stars
6/27/02 Jenny Trout The worst movie I have seen in, oh wait, forever. 1 stars
3/17/02 mn oh no he [Will Smith] won't. not another movie sighs 1 stars
3/05/02 Brittany James Love Salma Hayek, but her role in this is only half-assed in more ways than one. 2 stars
2/26/02 Good God!!!!!!!! Will Smith is cool & charming and all, but he did nothing for this slop. 2 stars
12/14/01 big boy You people dont know what good means your all a bunch of sbuttheads 5 stars
11/16/01 I want movies Hey you dumb people are insulting Will Smith 5 stars
9/16/01 Gary Horrible, horrible movie. Unfunny, over-flashy and just plain annoying. 1 stars
8/08/01 E-Funk Will made a fuck up...Will made a fuck up...nah, nah, nah, nah,nah,nah 1 stars
4/18/01 Tam CHEESEY SHIT! But at least it gave me an excuse to stare at Will Smith. 1 stars
2/14/01 KyLe*BrOfLoVsKi Should've been called. "Vile Vile Mess"...avoid as you would a bad case of the clap. 1 stars
1/31/01 cheese Satan sat on a toliet, and this came out. 1 stars
1/19/01 Ground Zero this was a really shitty movie! I didn't enjoy it at all!!! 1 stars
1/17/01 I love movies somehow this movie worked for me 4 stars
11/28/00 Cristopher Revilla what the fuck was that?!!! man this movie stunk, and whoever likes it is a fuckhead!!!! 1 stars
11/02/00 dan ohhh... that woman in the tower is hoooooot! 5 stars
10/13/00 Jason terrible...go to the symphony! 1 stars
10/13/00 Josh I now believe that the end is near.... 1 stars
9/08/00 Jed I agree with David Rogers this movie is excellent! 5 stars
8/25/00 NoRefill Should have been calle "Wild, Wild, Sucks". I hated it. Not like the original at all. 1 stars
7/08/00 Andrew Freeman This made me not want to masturbate for weeks 1 stars
6/19/00 Ulatekk Terrible. I don't think blacks were allowed in the Secret Service until the 1960's... 1 stars
5/29/00 danilo hilarious and totally misunderstood movie that's definitely worth a look 4 stars
4/26/00 Pansy Awful. The only thing that stood in ths flick was Hayek's hooters. 1 stars
3/10/00 Richard Wright Whats the fuss about, this is as dumb as your average summer movie.Better than Godzilla too 2 stars
3/05/00 Kyle Broflovski It's like being bitten by Cujo while trapped in a hot car. Actually, it's worse. 1 stars
2/21/00 Mr. Kramitall Release the series on video now, and destroy until the last copy of this horrid travesty. 1 stars
11/24/99 Mark Awful 1 stars
11/04/99 Mickey "Father Death" MacJohnstmyster "Oh you is all that brutha" , get over yourself Smith you suck more than ya movies. 2 stars
10/25/99 H'Woodbigshot Yo! Wuz up, Homes. Not this piece of Bimzi. 1 stars
10/19/99 Lame-Oh All Seeing I, you genius! Oughta be called Vile Vile Mess! 1 stars
10/18/99 Bueller The film focuses more on humor than the TV series did. Gadgets are cooler though. 4 stars
10/16/99 Mr. Invincible For heaven's sake, Will, stick to your music carrer! Sheesh! 1 stars
10/13/99 Gunslinger This movie is a complete waste of time and money. Will Smith should stick to rapping! 1 stars
10/10/99 Ben Ryan What a piece of dogshit! Smith, move on, sing sing, don't act, don't act. 1 stars
10/09/99 Viral Messiah Sheer stupidity. 1 stars
10/04/99 the Grinch Couldve been better,loved KenB,it was entertaining,and that's all it was intended to be. 3 stars
10/03/99 Suckit boring as hell 1 stars
10/03/99 Joe Schmoe Dude, this is bad! 1 stars
9/29/99 Orgazmo A wild wild test of your intelligence 1 stars
9/24/99 mike minshell excellent film 5 stars
9/23/99 old muther hubbard this movie was wy too violent 4 little old me 3 stars
9/22/99 Slushie I agree with the pineapple dude. 1 stars
9/19/99 Weird Andy An embarrassment to the terrific TV show. 1 stars
9/19/99 Admiral Crunch Note to Jaddax (3 lines down): shut the hell up. Worse than The Haunting. A pitiful ripoff. 1 stars
9/16/99 Kory I'd rather shove a pineapple up my ass than watch this pile of shit again. 1 stars
9/15/99 Feral Not THAT bad but not good either. In all a waste of time. 2 stars
9/12/99 Jonathan Hefner What a load of bullshit 1 stars
9/11/99 Jaddax it was a very good movie so screw all that don`t like it 5 stars
9/10/99 Jomo One of the worst movies I have ever seen. 1 stars
9/03/99 William Worst movie since Batman & Robin. What a waste of talent. I almost walked out. 1 stars
9/03/99 Andel Crodo Someone involved in making the film obviously had an overactive infatuation with breasts. 2 stars
8/26/99 Ami the Wonderbread Even my favorite actor Ken Branagh sucked in this movie. 2 stars
8/25/99 Ah Dooey Right on with the review. Anybody who spam junk on this site shall be barred from Hollywood 1 stars
8/20/99 BoB ONE WORD: LAME!!! 1 stars
8/19/99 Japtalian This movie followed the premise of the T.V version. Western-SciFi. I enjoyed it. 4 stars
8/18/99 Admiral Crunch Gee, and the trailers were better, huh? Yeah, right. 1 stars
8/15/99 Stephen Cook i didn't see the movie, and i didn't need to, the previews were enough 1 stars
8/14/99 Ryan_A If you like this, Steve, you're not as tough as you think. Only The Haunting is worse. 1 stars
8/12/99 Steve Kelley I'm a tough critic, and I like it. Escapist, fun, preposterous. See for yourself. 4 stars
8/10/99 Laz when Hollywood is bad,it is really bad!! Just dreadful... 1 stars
8/09/99 The Graduate Bad writing, bad acting. Watch the gadgets. 2 stars
8/03/99 Binghi Salma Hayek's body double has nice ass. 1 stars
8/02/99 Mboua I saw this movie for free and got ripped off. 1 stars
8/02/99 XenoWolf The dummest movie ive seen in years 1 stars
8/01/99 John M What a BAD movie!!! 1 stars
7/31/99 Obi Wan Was almost as bad as BELOVED if not for Salma Hayek's Ass! She's off da hook! 1 stars
7/31/99 SaSa Cinematic excrement. 1 stars
7/31/99 Roman Nice look but everything else was a smoldering pile of SHIT 1 stars
7/30/99 Innocent movie goer "It wasn't that bad, pretty good actually. It was definately worth a look." 4 stars
7/29/99 Tigger I thought this movie was not Will Smith's best of the summer but was worth seeing 4 stars
7/28/99 Sabina They must have left the best parts on the cutting room floor 1 stars
7/27/99 dave top ten worst 1 stars
7/26/99 David Kindred Don't see it. 1 stars
7/25/99 blue i could pull a better movie out of my ass 1 stars
7/24/99 MilhousFan Wow, this movie had the worst screenplay ever 1 stars
7/19/99 Imagoner Blecch. Worst movie of '99, so far. 1 stars
7/17/99 George Estremera A blast! Saw it twice! 4 stars
7/16/99 buddy ugh. one of the worst movies ever made. 1 stars
7/16/99 Ron Cruz Wow Great Film!!! What's wrong with you? 5 stars
7/16/99 Jo Jo, The Idiot Circus Boy High: Will Smith. Low: Everything ELSE. 1 stars
7/14/99 Keith Salma's ass is worth a look. The film isn't. 1 stars
7/14/99 Ryan_A Best part of the flick? M. Emmet Walsh. Man's a genius. 1 stars
7/14/99 Tony Daquano Pure Crap 2 stars
7/10/99 Cherry A total waste of time. There are no words to describe how I hate this AWFUL movie. YUCK! 1 stars
7/09/99 Alexander Too F-uped for me! 2 stars
7/08/99 Bobber Another W.Smith Formula movie like MIB and ID4. Could've done with seeing his bag and butt 1 stars
7/07/99 Scott It gave me convulsions 1 stars
7/07/99 midson Painfully boring.. stay away from this movie. 1 stars
7/06/99 Freyja Sucks all molecules of amusement right out of your system. Awful 1 stars
7/06/99 Mr Showbiz Isn't half as fun as it needs to be. 3 stars
7/06/99 James Coffey When I first saw the trialers I thought this movie would suck, I was absolutly correct. 1 stars
7/05/99 Skiv Save your money, this movie is so bad it's depressing... 1 stars
7/03/99 Howard Roark Big Disappointment, nothing like the series. two words...SAD Times! 2 stars
7/03/99 Morpheous Horrible! A waist of money... 1 stars
7/02/99 Elizaveta Kenneth Branagh! What have you done!?! 2 stars
7/01/99 Ah Dooey Complete drivel. 1 stars
7/01/99 Nick Spanos Beyond painful. Zero stars. 1 stars
7/01/99 Christina boring boring boring boring boring. and i did not need to see either of smith or kline drag 1 stars
6/30/99 Alandizo it's an awful movie, not logical and absolutely full of nonsense 1 stars
6/30/99 PhilmPhreak Its not as bad as I thought it would be. Not quite. Close, but not quite. 2 stars
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  30-Jun-1999 (PG-13)



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