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Overall Rating

Awesome: 3.03%
Worth A Look: 3.03%
Just Average: 6.06%
Pretty Crappy: 6.06%

3 reviews, 15 user ratings

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National Lampoon's Gold Diggers
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by Erik Childress

"Broad Comedy At Its Worst"
1 stars

SCREENED AT THE 2003 CINEVEGAS FILM FESTIVAL: The three worst things that you can experience in your life outside of dying are (1) receiving paper cuts in a lemon juice bath, (2) splitting your baseball bat at the most inopportune time and (3) a bad comedy in a theater. At home, you can just shut it off, have your pet urinate on it and then feed it into the paper shredder. In a theater, you are trapped. Oh sure, you can leave. Thereís no ball and chain forcing you to sit through the laughless monstrosity, but you paid your money and more often than not you will wait for that single laugh. The least the movie could offer you. Thatís what I got out of Lady Killers. A single laugh. And thereís certainly nothing funny about listening to a director with the glow of confidence that heís created some screwball piece of lunacy when itís a whole different kind of piece that youíve just witnessed.

Invoking the names of the Farrellys during his Q&A at the CineVegas film festival is the only association that writer/director Gary Preisler will ever have with the two brothers. Notice I didnít use the word talent because thatís a whole other league on another planet that doesnít exist. Lest we also not associate this atrocity with the 1955 Alec Guinness/Peter Sellers classic nor the forthcoming Coen Bros. remake with Tom Hanks. They share nothing except a title and a pair of old ladies.

Will Friedle (of TVís Boy Meets World) and Chris Owen (the Sherminator from the American Pie series) play a pair of low-rent wannabe crooks who pick the wrong ladies to stick-up. Mace stings. Wokka Wokka Wokka. The two ladies (Renee Taylor & Louise Lasser) happen to be sisters and heir to a gigantic fortune, if only their war-crazy relative (hopefully not an homage to Arsenic and Old Lace) would give it to them without marrying first. After bailing out their lame-brained assailants, the two idiots see the benefits to hitching up to their wrinkled starfishes since they figure their lifespan is shorter than an audienceís patience with this movie. Someone please inform Preisler that making a broad slapstick comedy involves more than just having a couple of old broads and instilling a desire in the audience to slap the director with a stick.

Naturally neither pairing realizes that each is planning to kill the other and to insinuate that wackiness ensues is an affront to every adjective within six degrees of its definition. Here we have an Oscar-nominated and Emmy-winning actress and writer (Taylor) slumming through a series of fart jokes, unfunny seduction scenes and even a snake gobbling a crotch. Oh, the irony. Disgusting humor has its place and my rabid disdain for the subject matter has nothing to do with any belief that its in poor taste. In comedy, thereís no reason to think that Lasser lathering up the Sherminator into a full-body sundae canít be funny. But thereís a difference between why it should be funny and just presenting it for a cheap laugh.

Friedle is really trying to liven up the party, but heís certainly no Jim Carrey (or even Mariah Carey) and the screenplay seems to slow itself even further as Will tries to over-the-top it. Owen plays dumb and meek, Lasser goes borderline retarded and Taylor should have looked twice to see if this wasnít another Max Bialystock production. Jokes are old and fall flat. Thereís no sense of comic timing and Preisler wouldnít know screwball from a set of anal beads.

Audiences at CineVegas apparently responded in some way to this film and if the masses are any judge of quality, if Bringing Down the House can make over $130 million then Lady Killers could easily pull in at least ninety. In evidenced by an added screening for the festival, in maybe more than two bits worth of wishful thinking, a group of flyers indicated that ďif you can sit through this movie without laughing, then chances are youíre dead.Ē Well, I laughed once so that means I must be alive to tell you that this movie just sucked.

link directly to this review at https://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=7865&reviewer=198
originally posted: 06/23/03 18:25:31
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OFFICIAL SELECTION: 2003 CineVegas Film Festival. For more in the 2003 CineVegas Film Festival series, click here.
For more in the National Lampoon Movies series, click here.

User Comments

9/18/10 mywhat wanker rific! 5 stars
7/30/09 This movie sucks Bury Gold Diggers, it just sucks. 1 stars
10/31/08 tiffany pettey all lampoons are classics 4 stars
3/24/07 Charles Tatum Ziering's fake boobs gather the most laughs 1 stars
9/16/06 Ryan_A Poor Friedle, Lasser & Taylor. Ziering is 97% plastic with personality to match. 1 stars
5/01/05 Paul Shawver absoltely awful 1 stars
4/28/05 Valerie Furr Not worth the admission price 2 stars
4/14/05 Raymond Montoya relatesin humor to older lampoon comedies but lacking 3 stars
4/08/05 craig varney relax enjoy the skin 3 stars
9/22/04 asina utterly worthless piece of crap. 1 stars
9/19/04 steve hanley pitiful 1 stars
9/19/04 I want my money back I hope someone violently murders Gary Preisler for making this shit 1 stars
4/03/04 R gund After 20 minutes we walked out of the theatre - we got very tired of the F word 1 stars
3/30/04 Robert Could have been a great flic - but foul language ruins it. 2 stars
3/26/04 Bingo was his name-o That noise you hear is a flush. 1 stars
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  17-Sep-2004 (R)
  DVD: 29-Mar-2005



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