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Overall Rating

Awesome: 13.98%
Worth A Look: 18.28%
Just Average: 20.43%
Pretty Crappy33.33%
Sucks: 13.98%

6 reviews, 57 user ratings

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by Brian McKay

"A prominent example of Hollywood Malaise."
2 stars

Excuse me while I switch to my Samuel L. Jackson voice for a moment. "WELL well well, what have we here? Why, if it ain't four lead actors playing the exact same part they each played in their last ten goddamn movies! Oh, and let's not forget a script that spews more cliches than shell casings. Let me ask you somethin', Hollywood - Do we, the moviegoing public, look like a bitch to you? No? THEN WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO FUCK US LIKE ONE AT THE TICKET WINDOW!"

Thankfully, I didn't pay nine bucks for this in the theater. I know which movies are worth paying full price for, and which barely merit an absent-minded dumping to the bottom of my NetFlix queue.

As it stands, S.W.A.T. is not a horrible movie. If your expectations are low enough, and you're in the mood for some fairly mindless entertainment, it's a passable way to spend a couple of hours on a hung-over New Year's Day.

But God Damn, it just feels so done. Every cliche' and throwaway catch phrase we've heard in every cop and military movie in the past decade is trotted out on display again. Sam Jackson phoning it in? Check. L.L. Cool J still thinking he's an actor? Check. Colin Farrell playing the token cool white guy? Check. Michelle Rodriguez playing the sulky, feisty chick? Checked by default. Blustering Asshole Captain? Check. Nondescript and generic villains? Check - although this time instead of a Latin drug lord or Mafioso type, it's a cocksure Frenchman, what with France being such a popular whipping boy these days. Everyone hates the French, right?

But you'd think everyone hates these paint-by-numbers action flicks even more - especially the ones that plunder forgettable 70's T.V. shows (the original of which is also now availiable on DVD - can you believe that shit?) for bare-bones inspiration to make an even more forgettable new millenium equivalent. I don't expect any better than this from Cool J or Rodriguez (each is a likeable enough character actor, but let's face it - an evolution of their thespian skill sets is not in the cards). But we all know that Jackson and Farrell are capable of doing much better work. But hey, why even try to, when you can skate by on the public's sense of nostalgia, a lazy but well-funded script, and the almighty paycheck?

See if it you like, but don't go out of your way - and don't feel like you'll be missing out if you don't.

link directly to this review at https://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=8066&reviewer=258
originally posted: 01/02/04 00:11:04
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User Comments

9/16/17 morris campbell decent no more no less 3 stars
6/01/07 action movie fan outstanding action and script-an excellent film-so many great moments 5 stars
11/16/06 David Pollastrini The tv show was better 3 stars
10/12/06 Jimbo It was wicked 5 stars
4/03/06 JRE you just sit there waiting for something to happen. theres no action. ever 1 stars
10/06/05 Wisamane Swat is sooo borrrrringggg, The movie is so predictable, stupid plot that i fell asleep on 1 stars
9/01/05 ES Fun, smart action flick. Characters you can like, bad guy you can hate 4 stars
8/09/05 Swat is gay wow...this movie is horrible...ide rather masturbate with razor blades 1 stars
6/07/05 Mark Radburn Even Cops Dial 911 5 stars
5/04/05 Quigley the action was so staged and predictable; it has dumb acting & stupid plot with glitches 1 stars
12/08/04 Kristina Williams Rodriguez needs to stop being typecast as haggard mean bitches 4 stars
9/05/04 Katie This movie rocks!!! 5 stars
7/20/04 Derek Great movie... Keeps the anticipatation what is going to hapen next going... A + 5 stars
7/19/04 axe 60% T.V. show b.s., 40% Daryl Gates' video game realism. Ali G skewers Gates on HBO...lmao. 3 stars
5/12/04  Shaun Rose worth a rent 3 stars
5/04/04 Nick I could predict exactly what was going to happen next in this completely average film 2 stars
3/28/04 john looksd like a GQ or VOGUE photo shoot with a SWAT theme to it - dumm as hell! 1 stars
3/12/04 Ingo Boring, dull, flat characters and so forth... 2 stars
3/08/04 bsho76 Nothing in this movie made logical sense...perhaps I'm expecting too much 1 stars
2/06/04 king of cool amazxing movie!!!! Joe wake up !!! great action, seabiscuit is dumb 5 stars
1/27/04 Travis great entertaing movie 5 stars
1/27/04 Joe To actoin movie fan, YOU ARE AN IDIOT this is a horrible and stupidly idiotic movie 1 stars
1/14/04 Betty White The question is: Why was this film made in the first place? 1 stars
1/12/04 steph thrilling 4 stars
1/01/04 y2mckay Barely worth a netflix rental. Cliche-riddled but okay mindless entertainment. 3 stars
12/08/03 alex it wasn't boring, but as usual, after such movies I come out hating holywood ever more 2 stars
12/05/03 Tiffany Faye Hawthorne Chase down a Lear Jet with a commandeered limo! I've fucking seen it all! 1 stars
11/28/03 Sydney Will not match your expectations... makes the SWAT work look easy...No Shit! 3 stars
11/26/03 he a good film 4 stars
11/10/03 Jod This movie proves that even Colin Farrell get's behind on is rent. Pure Hollywood. 1 stars
10/17/03 Josh Standlee Entertaining! I forgive Colin Farrell for making "Phone Booth"! 4 stars
9/30/03 Samuel Justus an ok rental, too bad I didn't know that before going to the theater! 3 stars
9/13/03 Obi Wan Not bad, but it had an MTv feel to it. Decent for a last batch of summer flicks. 4 stars
9/09/03 The Talking Elbow A generic, give-me-a-paycheck-fast movie. 2 stars
9/06/03 JAMES Its a crappy movie but entertains at times 3 stars
9/03/03 snowconehead Far-fetched predictable plot, but it wasn't boring 4 stars
9/01/03 B. Fresh Exceptionally boring..Fredy vs Jason cut this to pieces! A big bag of tired cliches... 2 stars
8/28/03 Mack Intosh Don't expect too much. A lot of fun. Dissapointing climax. 4 stars
8/26/03 Igor Not enough quality action scenes to cover up for its crappy story line. 2 stars
8/22/03 Benjamin Leatherman Flawed and cliched, but an enjoyable action-packed ride 4 stars
8/18/03 mwildema sucks! 1 stars
8/16/03 Jon Predictable and cliched doesn't always mean bad, but, yeah, the action scenes carry this 3 stars
8/15/03 nick2k everything was great/interesting til that fuck said "one hundred meeleeon dollars!". 3 stars
8/14/03 Wolf Gamble(ex-SWAT) and the bank robbers just weren't believable. 3 stars
8/14/03 D Non-stop action was great, not much more though 5 stars
8/13/03 dave what did you expect? shakespeare? good for what it is 4 stars
8/13/03 Mr. Hat The SWAT situations & the Poker with sniper rifles are the good parts. 4 stars
8/12/03 vagile Someone has finally taught monkeys to type and format a screenplay. 1 stars
8/12/03 your mom quality mindless entertainment. 5 stars
8/11/03 Chelsea Awesome. I loved it, a good cop drama that isn't to heavy on the action and violence. 5 stars
8/11/03 RKM Worse than the TV show ever was 1 stars
8/11/03 Nikaelah by the numbers action flick, neither dull nor exciting, completely generic 3 stars
8/10/03 impressed. just as good as heat 5 stars
8/09/03 malcolm much better than i expected; good characterization 3 stars
8/09/03 Bam Margera Ok, not the smartest movie out there...but very shiny, and cool...very badass! 5 stars
8/08/03 terrence wow. I can see why every1 is comparing it to HEAT..... 5 stars
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  08-Aug-2003 (PG-13)
  DVD: 30-Dec-2003

  05-Dec-2003 (12A)

  27-Nov-2003 (M)

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