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Overall Rating

Worth A Look: 34.12%
Just Average: 18.82%
Pretty Crappy: 4.71%
Sucks: 7.65%

6 reviews, 134 user ratings

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Batman Returns
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by Bob, Lord of Evil

"You guys just don't understand."
4 stars

This is really a movie for dorks like me. Granted, alot of other Batman fans did not dig this movie. I know it, you know it, I move on. But there are those among you who think this was the one movie to really show Batman's humanity accurately. There were flaws to be sure, but I forgive them because of what it did. So what follows is a spoiler filled, comic geek, in depth review of Batman Returns. Oh ye of little stomach, turn back now.

Okay, once again, there are tons of spoilers. I need them to prove my point.

Spoilers. Did you read that word? Spoiler.



Okay, I'm gonna start now.

Michael Keaton plays the best possible Batman he could. It's amazing how good he is in the role. Like the first one, he never overdoes it, but somehow makes Batman more than a guy in a bat suit, which Kilmer and Clooney both did very well. So, many people complain it was more about the villains than the hero. Let me draw something to your attention- while Batman is an awesome as fuck character, he is defined by his villains. This movie would have gotten boring very fast if Batman had been in more of the movie. I am sure of this.

Pfiefer is Catwoman. I really can't think of a better person to play her. Granted, it was Tim Burtonís Catwoman, and not the cat thief Catwoman, but she was very good none the less. She was sexy, smart, and able to turn on the man through the bat. Impressive, I know. She was perfect. I even dug the costume. It was sexy yet cat like. Meow.

Let me pause this review real quick to address some of the geeks out there who are pissed the costumes aren't the same as the comic. Let me draw to your attention THOSE ARE DRAWING ON A PAPER DIPSHIT. I assure you they would look dorky to the highest degree times three if there real costumes were used. Yep. So enjoy the warrior Batman, and the knitted together Catwoman, and the macabre Penguin. Love it. It kicked ass.

Anyway, onto the spotlight VILLAIN of the flick, the Penguin. In the comic he is a gangster who uses umbrellas to conceal weapons, and wears a tux. in this movie he plays a man freak who lives in the sewers because his parents dumped him there. Who do you like better? I prefer the Dickens version of Penguin personally. More range. If he had been allowed to live, he would've made a twisted mobster.

And that's where my complaint jumps in. The dying thing. And the secret identity thing. Burton has this thing where the chick always learns who Batman really is and the villains always die (except for Catwoman, but still). This is fine for Joe Q public, but for guys like me, you know they bodies never supposed to be found or they get shipped off to Arkham. NOT DIE!!! Damn it.

Uhm, Walken was a cool little addition, who also DIES, but would've made an interesting foil for Bruce Wayne in later movies had he been allowed to get away. Wayne always did need a Luthor to even him out. Ah well, c'est damage.

Anyway, there are other problems with this flick- Penguins vehicle of choice, Selina's return to life, and the penguins doing to a funeral march for the Penguin. These elements were a little hooky for my tastes. but I move on. because some of the scenes in this flick were truly inspired.

Namely, the scenes between Batman and Catwoman. All these scenes alone could've made the movie. But Burton saw that his vision must be compromised by explosions and such, so he gave us the Penguin. You live. You deal. You move on.

I liked this movie. Alot. I like popping it in from time to time just to watch it for fun. Usually, I watch it with the first one, because if Burton had been allowed to have his way, those two would've been companion pieces. Brilliant little chapters in a long book. Oh well, Shitmaker came in and completed fucking up what Warner Bros had already started to. at least we have Batman and Returns to keep us happy...

Just a little side not, I will eventually start the new Batman series, and anyone who thinks they will direct it is wrong. For it is mine. MINE DAMN IT, MINE. Thank you.

link directly to this review at https://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=833&reviewer=150
originally posted: 10/25/99 15:18:09
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User Comments

2/13/17 morris campbell ok 3 stars
1/14/15 the truth bloated and unfocused sequel with good art design; typical of giving Burton carte blanche 3 stars
9/02/14 G.G.H. ok 3 stars
7/28/12 Kcaj couldve been worse! My nose could be gushing blood!! 4 stars
6/10/12 Brad bauer One of the best movies in the history of cinema 5 stars
2/27/10 Steve Hock Dark, noir, icey, gothic, Catwoman, Batman, Burton bundle of fun! 5 stars
1/19/10 Stanley Thai It gets interesting at first, but slowly goes downhill from there. 3 stars
6/20/08 David V Too artsy. 3 stars
6/08/08 jm Some parts of this movie are great! This movie could have been great if it made sense. 4 stars
3/01/08 Pamela White Danny makes the movie 4 stars
7/13/07 Arg Watch it again n ull see how cheap it really is!!! 3 stars
5/02/07 Abs excellent 5 stars
2/12/07 johnnyfog DeVito was bad casting, otherwise great 4 stars
2/03/07 Vip Ebriega The best Batman ever!!!! 4 stars
1/24/07 Bitchflaps Better than the first film, anyone expecting realism is missing the point. 4 stars
12/03/06 DasuberDing Dark, dark, and dark but brilliant! Burton's best 5 stars
9/23/06 Farnsy Alright! A movie mature kids can watch without the little brats bugging you 4 stars
9/11/06 Eden Burton's brilliant gothic fairy-tale, with great visuals. The best Batman film 5 stars
7/18/06 Michael Superman does not kill. Batman is not Superman. 5 stars
7/13/06 David Cohen Too many subplots, Penguin goes from menacing to silly 3 stars
6/10/06 Billy Lacking the X Factor but still good. 4 stars
6/06/06 ES two words ruin this 'ok' at best nightmare of celluloid- giant penguins. 2 stars
5/30/06 raul valdez Jr this movie is delicously entertaining although cheese other movies would die 5 stars
5/09/06 omar my favorite burton movie and the best batman ever. watch it 5 stars
4/17/06 Jack A Dark and Gruesome movie. I like it! 4 stars
3/27/06 Brian Meyer Dark and sexual. a true combo of Bat and Burton! 5 stars
3/24/06 Dethbyhashi BATMAN DOES NOT KILL!!!!!!! 2 stars
3/02/06 Anthony Feor A great sequel, fun for everyone 4 stars
1/03/06 cody Terrific followup to first batman, plus michelle gives a sexy great perf. as catwoman***1/2 4 stars
12/28/05 tony Good sequel. I dont hate this one 4 stars
8/24/05 salamone Definitely an acquired taste. 4 stars
8/22/05 Eden Good sequel, the penguin drags it down but Pfeiffer makes it awesome 5 stars
8/22/05 ES Six foot, giant penguins move DeVito's body into the water without so much as touching him 2 stars
8/05/05 Zack Terrific sequel! 5 stars
7/20/05 Brandy Harrington It's okay. 3 stars
7/01/05 Rik Sheer Burton cinematic genius. 4 stars
5/16/05 E-FUNK Oddly cheaper-looking sequel... but the reason to see this is Pfeiffer... Fantastic. 5 stars
4/25/05 Indrid Cold Distinctively dark comic Burton, but only OK action and plot. 3 stars
4/17/05 Jeff Anderson Tim Burton outdoes himself brilliantly in a great & worthy sequel. Keaton & Pfeiffer ROCK!! 5 stars
2/16/05 Cody micheal and michelle are cool as Batman and Catwoman . michelle is best catwoman! 4 stars
12/08/04 Kristina Williams Pfeiffer IS Catwoman! 5 stars
11/17/04 chris not bad 3 stars
10/22/04 Shadya Catwoman kicks butt!! I love her!! Michelle is the one and only TRUE catwoman!! 5 stars
9/03/04 T.B. Catwoman make me laugh 3 stars
8/19/04 DM Much like the first 4 stars
4/20/04 Daveman A competent sequal that unfortunately disappoints when compared to the first. 3 stars
3/20/04 Jack-pyschO-Lantern A more darker & film-noir sense... Should've stayed that way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
1/31/04 STUFU One of the oddest mainstream films ever. Burton at his best? I think so. 5 stars
12/04/03 john excellent sequel - as good as Nicholson was in the first deVito is even better 5 stars
10/31/03 American Slasher Goddess The best comic book adapation ever. 5 stars
9/17/03 I Would Too much emphasis on the annoying Penguin character. I wanted more Batman and Catwoman. 3 stars
8/03/03 FILM BUFF Burton has done it again!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
6/08/03 earl hoffert devito is so rotton, it's quite lovely 4 stars
5/28/03 Zach Great sequal to the first. Almost a continuation like Halloween. Well.... Sorta.. ;) 5 stars
5/15/03 Narikelon Maybe it was too dark, but it was a masterpiece of its own 4 stars
5/11/03 Jareth Second best in the series. Not much compared to the 1st but leagues ahead of the other 2. 3 stars
4/18/03 Jon "Thumb the Toad" Lyrik Tis inferior to the original. Big deal. At least it is decent n not da black hole 3&4 were. 4 stars
3/28/03 Steve CRAP 1 stars
3/25/03 Spiderfan729 It makes my top 5 Hall of Shame! 2 and a half hours wasted! 1 stars
3/21/03 Jack Sommersby The best of the series. Uneven and flawed, but quite entertaining. 4 stars
11/29/02 Ahhhhh!!!! Now this is the way Batman is supposed to be - dark, gothic, and tragic. Easily the best. 5 stars
11/18/02 Nevz Smart & Dark. No more words. 5 stars
10/18/02 Kim BATMAN RETURNS=German Expressionist Masterpiece. Burton at his best. 5 stars
10/14/02 Charles Tatum Pfeiffer is the only reason to see this- meouch! 4 stars
10/14/02 R.W. Welch They didn't spare the bucks here but it still has a cobbled together air about it. 3 stars
10/02/02 Ron Sanchez This movie rocked ass , fuck you all 5 stars
8/15/02 Shaun its dark, fun, and well acted. Gotta love Devito 4 stars
7/10/02 CVJ NWO bloody brilliant the best of the the four 5 stars
6/07/02 Allison Lafferty Some really wanted bad for TEQUILA SUNRISE not to be Michelle Pfeiffer's worst film! 1 stars
5/13/02 Phoenix I was very dissapointed with this one. Michelle Pfeiffer was very sexy though. 3 stars
4/27/02 maximal01 Decent, but there should NEVER HAVE BEEN two villains. Catwoman's hot.. 4 stars
4/23/02 Danielle Ophelia Grittier than the first...yet somehow sillier. Go figure. 4 stars
3/23/02 Butterbean This movie should have Catwoman as the only villian. Pfeiffer was excellent! 4 stars
3/18/02 MovieFan Beverly, your jokes suck ass. This movie rocks! 5 stars
3/08/02 Beverly Drake If Michelle Pfeiffer is an actress, Mike Tyson is an ear surgeon 1 stars
3/01/02 Alan Smithee The best of the Batman films IMO. Gotta love Pfeiffer in that leather body suit! 5 stars
2/13/02 Shaddup You're an idiot, Tiffanny. This is easily one of Pfeiffer's best roles. 5 stars
2/05/02 Tiffany Thunderhurst Someone must've wanted BAD for TEQUILA SUNRISE not to be Michelle Pfeiffer's worst role! 1 stars
10/06/01 jawsboy clowns suck, yellow ducks also, devito is good but bad. great action, acting & set peices. 4 stars
9/25/01 Shane Robert Myers!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The freakish emoutionaly disturbed seqeul is a masterpieace from Tim Burton!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
9/05/01 spaceworm If I had to watch one of this series again, this would be it (pause poised for Pfeiffer). 3 stars
8/31/01 ColemansLoveChild BATMAN RETURNS=German Expressionist Masterpiece. Burton at his best. 5 stars
8/30/01 Henry Ginsberg The absence of Jack Nickolsen provents this from being as good as the original. 4 stars
8/06/01 Mr. Hat (formerly Joe Zappa) A little TOO dark, but Batman DOES save the day, so I won't complain TOO much. 3 stars
8/05/01 E-Funk Superior to original in action...Michelle Pheiffer is hypnotic...Burton at his finest 5 stars
8/01/01 KC Au Not as good as the 1st one. Very slow pace and lacked energy. 3 stars
6/14/01 Bada Bing Crosby The only one in the series worth your time. Wonder what Aronofsky will do??? 5 stars
6/09/01 Turtle This is the way Batman should be done. The best of the series. 4 stars
5/21/01 mjm103171 I love batman and will see all of them but these sequels do not impress me much 3 stars
5/21/01 Ray McCoy Arty, a very mature handling of the Batman franchise, heavily influenced by Expressionism 5 stars
5/13/01 Penguin man of sewer You're just jealous because I'm a genuine freak and you have to wear a mask! 5 stars
4/12/01 Kel-C I had a feeling Batman was meant to be more Gothic. Viva la Burton and Elfman!!!!!!! 5 stars
4/03/01 Mike Dean A beautiful Gothic fairy tale that is easily the best if the Bat-films. Just wonderful! 5 stars
3/30/01 Cauchemar Had unbelievable potential, unfortunately fell to overendulging input of the wrong people 4 stars
3/27/01 Deckard Movie kicks ALL forms of ass. Praise the gods for men like Burton, Keaton and Elfman! 5 stars
2/16/01 Joseph Lewis Two lame villains and a stiff bat= total trash. 1 stars
2/14/01 KyLe*BrOfLoVsKi Darker and more gothic that the previous, but still far superior to the next two. 4 stars
2/11/01 john d(THE DUDE) the darkest and best of the series 5 stars
12/25/00 Turtle Much better than the horrid original, very entertaining. 4 stars
11/27/00 Cristopher Revilla good flick, but not as good as the original, but i still liked it 5 stars
10/30/00 john mallko second outing marred down by coutless plotholes, though much better than the 3 and 4 4 stars
10/26/00 Evil Cartman Everything about this movie is hella AWESOME! Gotta love how hella cool Keaton was as bats. 5 stars
10/25/00 dan great music, great photography, great direction, great acting, great set designs... 5 stars
9/16/00 uknowme? Beautiful gothic fantasy about damaged, neurotic outsiders. Burton's best! 5 stars
8/02/00 Terrie Smith Dark and depressing and quite unlike any Batman (movie or comic) ever made. 4 stars
7/28/00 Deckard Great cast,awesome Direction,and a very intelligent script makes this the BEST Batman film 5 stars
6/29/00 Hal Go to hell,"Jed"! You wouldn't know a GOOD movie if it bit you on the ass! 5 stars
6/09/00 Mike Farwell Cool 4 stars
5/30/00 danilo what's good in this movie? I dunno. It's sooooo boring! 1 stars
5/19/00 Elvisfan easily the best 'batman'- michelle & danny are great & tim is a great moviemaker 5 stars
4/29/00 Matt LOVELY SHITE! 5 stars
4/15/00 BB-15 Best Batman movie. Michelle Pfeiffer is great as Catwoman, and the plot is tighter. 5 stars
3/21/00 Bruce The first is still best but this is still very cool 5 stars
3/09/00 David Rogers Michel Phiffer may be hot, but she's a bad actress. Batman's worst sequal. 2 stars
2/28/00 Jana WOW! Even better than the first! The second best of the series, just behind B & R. 5 stars
2/28/00 Richard Wright Disturbing-yes. Scary-without a doubt. Entertaining-NO. What a boring, shallow film. ! 2 stars
2/10/00 Kyle Broflovski Mr. Burton's brilliance proves that the Batman franchise did have soul one upon a time... 4 stars
1/31/00 Hmmm.. Best sequel to a Bat flick!But a little too much like an episode of Seinfeld. 4 stars
1/26/00 Paul Great 5 stars
1/19/00 k.tomkowski Very cool and intelligent. Well done Mr. Burton. The best of Batman movies. 5 stars
1/12/00 Jedi15 Far and away the best of the Bat series. All the ones after this dove deep into the cheese! 5 stars
12/21/99 Deckard Burton at his best!A movie that was too dark,'slow'and 'weird' for its mainstream audience 5 stars
12/12/99 Ted Wetzel This movie is NOT meant for kids. It's actually a darkly atmospheric fairy tale. 5 stars
12/09/99 Paull A slow beginning but still enjoyable 4 stars
10/29/99 Bozo Burton, DeVito and esp. Pfeiffer are at the top of their game-love it better than the first 5 stars
10/26/99 Karahde Khan Burton should have seen his previous movie again. And read one or two Batman comic books. 2 stars
10/17/99 Zeelod The best Batman movie. Big, loud, senseless, but at the same time absorbing and beautiful. 5 stars
7/02/99 Cage Not as good as the first, but a dark, fun sequel. 4 stars
6/28/99 Arkansas Jon Burton has Gotham's gothic style. Dark fun, but penguins with missiles on their backs???? 4 stars
2/08/99 Bob, Lord of Evil Oho, this was by far the superior to the frst one. Batman might not be the star, but so? 5 stars
11/02/98 grunter THE defining Bat-movie, pitch-black and gothic, brilliant Burton moments 5 stars
10/04/98 Negative Creep Children's COMIC!!!? Drasord youre an Idiot! This film deserves better. 4 stars
9/08/98 Johny Better than those that came after it 2 stars
9/01/98 J-Guy saw it twice, after that I was SURE it sucked. 2 stars
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  19-Jun-1992 (PG-13)
  DVD: 18-Oct-2005



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