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Overall Rating

Awesome: 23.26%
Worth A Look30.23%
Just Average: 16.28%
Pretty Crappy: 2.33%
Sucks: 27.91%

4 reviews, 19 user ratings

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Touch of Pink
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by Erik Childress

"Bollywood/Hollywood, Crap Is Still Spelled With A 'C'"
1 stars

SCREENED AT THE 2004 SUNDANCE FILM FESTIVAL: How far people will bend over to support the Bollywood film movement will rest solely on the words they speak after seeing Touch of Pink. Romantic Gay Muslim Screwball Retro Comedies should at least have the foresight to deliver on half the genre labels it establishes for itself. Iíd leave you to tell me which of them come through the folds, but thatís a torture of the lashes-and-chains variety that even the most liberal of audiences will feel not long into this dreadful mess.

Jimi Mistry got some Western exposure last year in the somewhat wacky, occasionally amusing comedy, The Guru, where his Indian roots reluctantly conned a bunch of bored socialites into spiritual enlightenment. Now heís a gay Canadian living in London, which may sound like a John Landis film, but has a far more retro sense of humor. Back to the days when there was no such thing.

Mistryís Alim has a guardian angel who just happens to be Cary Grant. Playing Grant is Kyle MacLachlan who bears a oh-so-slight resemblance to the classic moviestar and overemphasizes the portrayal straight into the world of party parody. And heís still the best thing in the film. Alim talks to Grant throughout the film like his own personal Jack Flack, who offers advice on his relationship to Giles (Kristen Holden-Reid) and how to handle an impending visit from his mother, with whom he's been estranged for a year.

Nuru (Suleka Mathew) has been saddened of late since her nephew is in the midst of planning his wedding, but should be enthusiastic since her own looks suggest she had Alim at the age of 10 under the name of Phylicia Rashad. Unaware of her sonís proclamation to the penis, Nuru rolls in like a steamroller set on rude: her dismissal of Giles (known at this point as only his friend) reminds Alim of why he left in the first place.

Despite an occasional slant towards mistaken identities, the only move towards screwball the film could make would be to have Bugs Bunny hold up a sign. For a film that strives on an inner joke of classic comedy, writer/director Ian Iqbal Rashid must have only seen a grand total of three in his lifetime. The personification of Cary Grant should have been loaded with even the broadest of in-jokes about his movies instead of resting on just The Philadelphia Story and Gunga Din. (Get it? That was set in India. Har Har Har!) The plain truth that Rashid didnít even bother to nudge the old rumor that Grant himself was gay, shows either how he clearly isnít paying attention or isnít nearly as creative. Ian, watch Down with Love to see how to homage the romantic comedies of years past beyond mere eyebrow raises accompanied by twinkle music.

So the movie fails on all of its gimmicks, has little-to-zero laughs and then sticks us in a 91-minute situation with very unlikable characters as the filmís cherry. Alim is a boring, unpleasant lead who is more confused than a dog chasing its tail in a clothes dryer. His mom is no better, changing her opinion on Cary Grant films drastically from scene-to-scene until her big secret is revealed. Even Giles, who goes out of his way to treat Nuru to a pleasant get-to-know-you excursion has anything but a lazy eye for the other boys away from (and in front of) his partner. Donít even get me started on Alimís cousin, whose actions in the movie could develop legislation as a reasonable doubt to committing a hate crime.

Touch of Pink is your typical ďboy meets boy, boy loses boy and takes trip to Toronto, boy reunites with boy in London for a happy endingĒ scenario sans just about anything that would make it pleasurable. Despite one or two deliveries from MacLachlan or Rashid stealing a sweatpants definition from Seinfeld, Touch of Pink is devoid of humor entirely. Like the devout Muslims in the film, who donít seem to have too much trouble with the gay culture when one is planning a wedding and the food tastes good, it would be nice for this film to offer the audience at least an hors dourve.

link directly to this review at https://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=8519&reviewer=198
originally posted: 01/25/04 15:35:12
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OFFICIAL SELECTION: 2004 Sundance Film Festival. For more in the 2004 Sundance Film Festival series, click here.
OFFICIAL SELECTION: 2004 Seattle Film Festival. For more in the 2004 Seattle Film Festival series, click here.

User Comments

4/23/05 Jamie Williams disagree with review, loved it! 5 stars
11/03/04 Juan Carlos Great Movie!!! So true, great cast, great story!! congrats! 5 stars
9/30/04 Elizabeth Amusing performance by Kyle MacLachlan; plot is cliched. 3 stars
8/09/04 Lori J. Ness Pleasantly surprised. Funny, great music and great director or photography! 4 stars
8/04/04 beian reminds me of Amelie 5 stars
8/03/04 sean beckett good movie.....a little cliche but fun! 4 stars
7/20/04 Emily How about "My Beautiful Laundrette"? There's a relationship worth saving. 2 stars
7/19/04 walter GOOD 5 stars
7/18/04 Dax Belanger I toatally disagree with the lambasting Ekik laid on Touch Of Pink. I saw it last night it 5 stars
7/07/04 Bob Some very funny lines; plot's a bit weak in places. 4 stars
6/28/04 pappy A really enjoyable film without the overkill 4 stars
6/22/04 rob movie had some very funny lines..enjoyable 4 stars
6/18/04 savance Unique personal film blending many styles adeptly 4 stars
6/14/04 Ahimsa I thought this movie was absolutely wonderful! 5 stars
6/03/04 JIm Lowe Fantastic! Excellent opener for Lake Placid Film Festival! Loved the quick wit script! 5 stars
5/31/04 tony souza clever, witty, well crafted film not for racists or homophobes - well received in toronto 5 stars
5/03/04 Harman One of the best films I've seen! Heartfelt, funny and layers of depth to the writing. 5 stars
4/04/04 steven spielberg erik, i think you're probably as dumb as a bag of hammers. i don't know what movie you s 4 stars
2/09/04 JJ Beautifully written, intelligent humour, a film worth seeing 5 stars
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  16-Jul-2004 (R)
  DVD: 11-Jan-2005



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