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Overall Rating

Awesome: 7.59%
Worth A Look: 20.25%
Just Average: 20.25%
Pretty Crappy35.44%
Sucks: 16.46%

6 reviews, 43 user ratings

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Club Dread
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by John Rice

"Bill Paxton, tender your SAG card."
1 stars

Club Dread had a few strikes against it going in. First, I don't like slasher movies, even when they are making fun of slasher movies. Second, it was the third slasher movie I have seen this year. Third, one of them, the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, was actually pretty decent, which got my hopes up a bit. Fourth, I recently watched The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the Eighth Dimension for the umpteenth time, a movie that actually is as much silly fun as Club Dread incompetently attempts to be. In the end, I had to take half a dozen breaks in order to make it through Club Dread. This is the most annoyingly and painfully bad movie I have seen in quite some time.

Club Dread opens with a shot of a virtually uninhabitable island, which is the location of a small, remote, tropical resort. I suppose this was the filmmakers' idea of humor. Unfortunately, that little joke is as funny as the movie gets. The resort is owned and run by Coconut Pete (Bill Paxton, what were you thinking?) who is a transparent ripoff of singer Jimmy Buffett. A boatload of twentysomethings arrives to the standard, not the least bit funny innuendos, drug references and generally stupid behavior.

After about 14 false alarms and very loud noises intended to make the viewer jump, it becomes apparent there is a psycho killer roaming the island bumping off the staff. An island legend seems to explain who this person is, but in true slasher fashion, it may not. Painfully unoriginal banter and death scenes drag on for what seems like an eternity and eventually the killer is revealed. What else is new?

What amazed me most about Club Dread is that it took slasher flicks, probably the only genre I have never been able to tolerate, to levels they may have never dreamt of. The appeal of taking already weak and painfully bad story lines and intentionally making them even weaker and more pointless is beyond me. After nearly 100 minutes of literally cringing at everything in this movie, I was exhausted. I needed a day to recover just so I could write this review.

The capper, what moves Club Dread into the area of the worst movie I have seen in years, is the unbearable sight of Bill Paxton as a long haired, stoned hippy. His performance is completely on par with the generally unbearable acting from the entire cast. Paxton has spent years building his acting stock, with hardly a misstep, until now. Bill, cash the check, spend the money, but don't do this again, ever. (This review originally appeared on Slacker-Reviews.com)

So painfully awful, not even a topless Jordan Ladd could make it worth seeing.

link directly to this review at https://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=8774&reviewer=373
originally posted: 08/05/04 20:48:01
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User Comments

10/25/08 Shaun Wallner Was'nt all that great! 2 stars
10/26/07 art this "CLUB DRED" rate's up there with "SCARY MOVIE"as a parody of slasher film's 4 stars
2/21/07 Beau this film was made to attract sterotypical teenagers who love sexual pointless films 2 stars
2/11/07 Abs The only thing interesting on screen were the super toned babes with minimal clothing 2 stars
12/28/06 David Pollastrini HORRIBLE, ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE 1 stars
12/14/05 funk evil shinanigans 2 stars
9/11/05 Total Crap Unfunny, pornographic garbage of a movie. OK? It's Fucking Stupid. 1 stars
4/19/05 Jack Sommersby Tries hard, but it's neither scary or funny enough. Brittany Daniel, though, is hot! 2 stars
3/30/05 tatum Lots of energy and a good cast, but almost zero laughs 2 stars
3/26/05 ELI "gore"? where the fuck was the gore????? And how is this piece of shit funny? 1 stars
3/23/05 indrid cold Slightly above unwatchable, but quite unfunny and unscary. 2 stars
10/21/04 kristy 30.88% what the hell's that supposed to mean??!! 5 stars
8/27/04 Mike Stanbridge Great for poker night as long as you pause on the boobies 3 stars
8/10/04 howdinski this is a funny film not quite as good as super troopers but worth a look 4 stars
8/07/04 jmsynth Well the 8 people (me+my friend included) in the cinema all seemed to enjoy it... 4 stars
7/27/04 flavio dread 1 stars
7/24/04 Phoenix II Jordan Ladd's tits made my cock so hard, and Britney Daniel was Hot. 5 stars
7/07/04 Denise Duspiva If the movie was trying to mock itself i think they did a good job 3 stars
6/21/04 milehigh Thank God for boobs. 2 stars
6/11/04 DJ ERIC 88 funny, scary and gross, jumped out of my seat after the first death! 4 stars
6/06/04 SF ridiculous in bits and ridiculously bad in bits. The ending is a travesty. 3 stars
5/30/04 Troy Kuprash Funny Movie 5 stars
5/27/04 Mike this movie sucked 1 stars
5/20/04 Blakers a good film 4 stars
4/16/04 Michael Greenwaldt Dreadfully boring and unbelievably unfunny. I wanted to leave 20 minutes in. 2 stars
4/06/04 re a good film 4 stars
3/24/04 Mike V Couldn't decide what it wanted to be. 3 stars
3/22/04 Movieguy a good funny film 4 stars
3/08/04 Eeon Not bad, not bad at all. 4 stars
3/07/04 movieguy a very good film 4 stars
3/05/04 Andrew Dunn I had fun with this movie. It gave me Pacman fever. 4 stars
3/05/04 Tiredofbadfilms Six audience members walked out in an empty theater for the most part. Got refund. 2 stars
3/04/04 movieguy a great film I loved it. It was funny 5 stars
3/03/04 me a great film I loved it. it was so funny 5 stars
3/02/04 bill great 5 stars
3/02/04 me a good film 4 stars
3/01/04 The Grinch Mostly funny movie that doesn't take itself too seriously...Bill Paxton rules! 4 stars
3/01/04 ashley bevis ashley bevis 4 gary betts 4 stars
2/28/04 michaelb14 not as scary as a true horror or as funny as a spoof, but unique and worth watching 4 stars
2/28/04 Paul Dennis one of the worst films ever made 1 stars
2/26/04 sanders smarter than Scary Movie 4 stars
2/26/04 Mike Definatly the new kind of Horror film. Not a spoof, but a horror movie with a comedic side. 4 stars
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  27-Feb-2004 (R)
  DVD: 28-Sep-2004

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