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Awesome: 1.82%
Worth A Look: 1.82%
Just Average: 0%
Pretty Crappy: 20%

4 reviews, 31 user ratings

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by EricDSnider

"You go, girl! And when I say go, I mean GO AWAY."
2 stars

There is a character in "Twisted" who I correctly identified as the killer within one minute of his or her arrival in the film. A critic friend of mine did the same thing, and another of our colleagues beat us both, identifying the killer just by watching the film's TRAILER.

Maybe we've see too many movies to be surprised anymore. But maybe, just maybe, "Twisted" is an obvious, dumb foray into the genre of moody, jazz-tinged psychological thrillers.

It's the sort of female-empowerment, woman-in-peril movie that usually stars Ashley Judd; fittingly, it stars Ashley Judd. Judd kicks a man in the crotch within four minutes of the film's beginning, and I submit to you that the purpose of all Ashley Judd movies is to allow her to kick a man in the crotch, at least figuratively, but often literally as well.

The crotch-kicker this time is Jessica Shepard, a San Francisco police officer who has just been promoted to detective. Being a movie cop, Jessica of course is a loose cannon! And she doesn't play by the rules! But she gets results, dammit, so get off her back!

Speaking of getting off her back, Jessica needs to get off it more often, it seems, as she's been sleeping with pretty much every man she meets, in addition to drinking constantly, often to the point of unconsciousness. It is understandable, maybe, why some of her fellow cops would be jealous over her promotion, especially considering the commissioner is her mentor and surrogate father, John Mills (Samuel L. Jackson). The whole thing smells fishy.

Trouble begins when a body washes ashore, and the body is that of a man Jessica had a one-night stand with. That's not reason for alarm in and of itself, of course, given that Jessica has slept with most of the straight men in San Francisco (and maybe some of the gay ones, too, with that haircut). But when a second body pops up, bearing marks to indicate it had the same killer as the first, and this one ALSO was one of Jessica's flings, well, then you start worrying.

Jessica wonders if it's possible she's committing murders without realizing it, and her shrink (David Strathairn) points out that she has major rage issues. Her partner, Delmarco (Andy Garcia), doesn't know what to make of her, wavering between mocking her with the rest of the guys in the police department's de facto boys' club, and supporting her as a fellow police officer. Their lieutenant (Russell Wong), in the tradition of all movie lieutenants, has to give obvious orders like, "I want this guy stopped before the bodies start piling up."

Yawn. This is by-the-numbers psychodrama territory, directed without much energy by Philip Kaufman. I note that several of his past films, including "Quills," "Henry & June" and "The Unbearable Lightness of Being," have been sexually frank and provocative. "Twisted" is not -- but it very closely resembles the Meg Ryan fiasco "In the Cut," which is. Maybe Kaufman should have directed that and left "Twisted" to a director better-suited for this kind of mediocrity. I'm thinking Gary Fleder, but now I'm just being obscure.

Jessica is a lousy protagonist, constantly reacting to what's befallen her rather than taking initiative and acting first -- that is, she doesn't make things happen; she waits until things happen to her, and then she deals with them. How are we supposed to root for someone that spineless? She inspires little sympathy and displays no discernible character traits. This became, for me, one of those movies where I wish someone would get eaten by a shark, just to liven things up. At least that would have been unpredictable, a word that is otherwise unrelated to "Twisted."

link directly to this review at https://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=8776&reviewer=247
originally posted: 02/28/04 03:41:16
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User Comments

1/09/16 Fartley J. Hogdick Shitty movie, shittier review (ack, such lifeless prose) 1 stars
10/01/12 scott maxwell Twisted says it all 5 stars
7/09/11 Jennifer Barr boring 2 stars
3/17/08 Vinny Ashley Judd thrillers are all the same, this shit hit it's peak with basic instinct ffs! 1 stars
2/13/08 Jack Sommersby It was Phillip Noyce, not Phillip Kaufman, who directed this film. 1 stars
9/18/07 Sugarfoot So mediocre in its execution, I can't believe this was done by the guy who did Dead Calm 2 stars
2/22/07 Sheila Koffel Good one Norema! Trashly Dudd most egregiously robbed of a golden raspberry! Zero stars! 1 stars
11/17/05 Norema Cameron Trashley Dudd must be trying to make EYE OF THE BEHOLDER look relatively good. 1 stars
8/19/05 ES if you've seen a Judd movie . . . 1 stars
3/16/05 Colleen Goldrick I enjoyed this one 4 stars
11/22/04 tatum Stunning lack of suspense 2 stars
10/30/04 Naka Judd is _____ *insert hate here* 1 stars
10/23/04 ODH Wow, a terrible suspense movie that borders on retarded 1 stars
10/20/04 Regina George didn't really survive the school bus accident AJ exercises unbelievable talent for making EYE OF THE BEHOLDER no longer her worst movie! 1 stars
9/14/04 Marvin Is Ashley Judd trying to tie with Osama bin Laden for Public Enemy #1? 1 stars
8/09/04 Iris Verna Ashley Judd needs to exorcise her demons, NOT exercise them! 1 stars
6/07/04 Lactose-free bean "A waste of Judd and Jackson" is like a waste of ricin and anthrax. 1 stars
6/05/04 Norema Cameron Trashley Dudd must be trying to make EYE OF THE BEHOLDER look relatively good. 1 stars
5/23/04 Butterbean A waste of Judd and Jackson. Should have been a Lifetime channel original movie 1 stars
5/17/04 Iris Verna Ashley Judd's final dispelling of any rumors that she has a soul. 1 stars
4/26/04 Tiffany Faye Hawthorne What's the difference between Ashley Judd and Hannibal Lecter? HL is entertaining. 1 stars
4/26/04 Jenna Furr If Ashley Judd gets any more obnoxious, she belongs in a cage. 1 stars
4/25/04 Ajax Ugh. Just as bad as that Angelina Jolie one. 1 stars
3/28/04 LCAJ This movie was a joke. It was stupid, a waste of time, and a jumbled up piece of junk. 1 stars
3/22/04 Roy Smith Generic product, don't even download it for free. 1 stars
3/21/04 Marco i've seen so mu much better. boring and gay 1 stars
3/06/04 C. Hernandez Wait for cable. Don't pay to see this. 2 stars
3/02/04 dickass die all of you please 1 stars
3/01/04 nniedzielski well THAT was a ridiculous waste of 97 minutes 2 stars
3/01/04 Str8Dog Hrm.. Looks like the writer finished their copy of Mysteries for Dummies 1 stars
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  27-Feb-2004 (R)
  DVD: 31-Aug-2004


  20-May-2004 (MA)

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