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Overall Rating
3.55

Awesome: 22.56%
Worth A Look40%
Just Average: 16.92%
Pretty Crappy: 11.28%
Sucks: 9.23%

13 reviews, 117 user ratings


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Hellboy (2004)
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by Robert Flaxman

"One of the lamest superhero films yet."
2 stars

Movies don't come much more aggressively mediocre than Guillermo del Toro's Hellboy, a limp bit of quasi-action fare that may be one of the least memorable films ever to hit its genre. While there's not much that can be said to directly malign it, there's really nothing to praise either, leaving a film that just sort of sits there.

The general idea is that Hellboy (Ron Perlman) is a demon who was summoned during World War II by Nazis, but saved by an American battalion accompanied by Professor Broom (John Hurt). In the present day, Hellboy is the cornerstone of the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense, a hush-hush wing of the FBI.

Anyway. We're introduced to John Myers (Rupert Evans), who apparently has been chosen as Hellboy's new... minder? Who knows. It's never really explained, but then again, not much is. Approximately 30 seconds after Myers meets Hellboy, we're off to fight some supernatural bad guys.

This single plot strand takes up pretty much the rest of the movie. Why is Myers there? Why, to complete the single most poorly-developed love triangle in cinematic history, with Hellboy and pyrokinetic Liz Sherman (Selma Blair) as the other two ends. Apart from that, he doesn't really do much.

Then again, neither does anyone. The movie's called Hellboy for a reason, people - we're here to watch Ron Perlman kick butt and make wisecracks. He certainly performs both of those tasks, though the latter is more satisfactory; the former is merely an excuse to flaunt some mediocre CGI.

Finally, we come to the end, which is one of the blandest, most easily resolved endings in film history, and which provides some more iffy CGI. It's certainly not aggressively bad, but, much like the rest of the film, it just flops onto the screen and lies there like some sort of dead animal.

Hellboy will never make you want to tear your eyes out because you're watching something so terrible you no longer want to see - but that's honestly about the nicest thing that can be said for it. (That, and Ron Perlman is pretty good in the role, at least.) Much like last summer's The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Hellboy is supremely uninteresting for a supposed action film, and it doesn't even have the benefit of the few modest twists that LXG had going for it.

The most useful thing about Hellboy is its forgettability - even though it isn't very good, it won't be enough to keep anyone in the cast from working again.

link directly to this review at https://www.hollywoodbitchslap.com/review.php?movie=9069&reviewer=385
originally posted: 10/10/04 05:08:32
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User Comments

3/24/18 morris campbell this is a bad superhero movie imho skip it 1 stars
6/23/14 Haley S. I loved this movie so much! The battles were great, and the casting was good. 5 stars
5/11/11 RLan a subpar superhero movie. 2 stars
12/21/10 Josie Cotton is a goddess Not as good as I hoped, but not bad 3 stars
4/10/09 Ionicera A better script/story would have made all the difference 3 stars
11/25/08 Leo T just 'ok'...not great, not horrible...the I walked out of HB2(Sucked) 3 stars
7/23/08 Shaun Wallner Great Action!! 5 stars
5/31/08 Hemlok I enjoyed this so much... I love Ron Perlman as HB, and Doug Jones is just the biz as Abe 5 stars
5/18/08 PAUL SHORTT BIZZARE COMIC BOOK FANTASY WITH A DARK KINETIC POWER 1 stars
4/07/08 AJ Muller Comic pushed into motion; Perlman IS Hellboy. Utterly asskicking. 5 stars
12/11/07 Sil so in mimic Del Toro will make ou sleepy, now he's a wizard? make your mind up fucker 4 stars
11/12/07 Elizabeth Palladino Just like the original comic, the true story is completely in the subtext. Brilliant! 5 stars
10/09/07 breastman I like the look of the sammeal demons.Wish I owned the actual costume for my collection 4 stars
9/13/07 vaib Its a spectacular film 4 stars
7/07/07 Jubei Gets good towards the end but still an average movie for a so-so character. 3 stars
6/19/07 johnnyfog A serviceable, ok movie. Better than Superman Returns 4 stars
5/14/07 Tracey Chambers not the greatest movie but better than most comic book movies 4 stars
3/16/07 E Kennedy great watch and can,t wait for the sequeal 5 stars
12/23/06 David Pollastrini boring, dull, etc. 1 stars
12/07/06 Stanley Thai A great film with good acting, a good story, great SPFX, and even more! 4 stars
8/09/06 Dragon The Artist Pretty good for a popcorn flick;A comic book flick, but barely worth owning. 4 stars
7/02/06 Adrian Entertainment joy. 5 stars
3/24/06 Indrid Cold Great visuals + OK action + a story that makes no sense = average 3 stars
11/22/05 Quigley directing is stylish and acting all right, but the story is downright awful along with CG 1 stars
9/14/05 matt great characters, enjoyable but some cheesy effects and kinda predictable 3 stars
8/18/05 ES Not that good, left with blah feeling afterward 2 stars
7/20/05 Sir Dude Stop making comic book movies. They don't all work, idiots! This one sucks! 1 stars
6/24/05 Eric Rollins Hell of a good time! 5 stars
6/15/05 Cheryl Free Pretty cool. I always like seeing comic books turned into movies. 4 stars
6/08/05 b landers Could have done without it. 2 stars
6/07/05 Darcy They could have done so much more.... 2 stars
5/27/05 Jake Awesome. Just as great as the Punisher movie 5 stars
4/21/05 Colleen Goldrick Entertaining 4 stars
3/31/05 failingloser total crap 1 stars
3/03/05 Jon Smith Pretty Bad! 2 stars
2/18/05 Edler Ok, but nothing special. Pretty confusing story also. 3 stars
2/01/05 axe pretty cool, but what's the deal with fire marshall bill in the S&M gear? 4 stars
12/22/04 Vince Entertaining, although drags a bit at times. Better than I expected. 4 stars
12/08/04 Kristina Williams surprisingly good 5 stars
11/16/04 Elizabeth Palladino Not just one of the best comic book adaptations ever, but one of the best films ever made. 5 stars
11/15/04 Littlepurch Bloody hell (pun there!) how can anyone say anything good about this movie?!?!?!? 1 stars
11/06/04 michaelb14 meyers:what the hell is that thing, hellboy: let me go ask 4 stars
11/02/04 mike im with dave 1 stars
10/28/04 dave id rather watch a romantic comedy with sum pussy in it 1 stars
10/22/04 Hilary Adamson Selma Blair's downward spiral continues from DOWN TO YOU&GUY THING. See VAN HELSING instead 2 stars
10/21/04 T a fine example of a director/fan combo shooting an enjoyable movie 4 stars
10/18/04 Al Guy Very entertaining. Good humor too. 4 stars
10/16/04 Elisheva Rison Hellboy is what X-men should have been, so this movie is greater than great! And funny! 5 stars
10/14/04 eugene HELLfucking crap this movie sux the balls of hellboy himself 1 stars
10/13/04 Jack Bourbon Stupid garbage crap crap. Stinkbomb if there ever was one. 1 stars
9/23/04 Eric I was never a Hellboy fan, this has changed that. 5 stars
9/21/04 Benjamin Spicher Great Character, nice movie. 4 stars
9/09/04 Daveman Visually impressive, but its array of outlandish ideas never seem to gel. 3 stars
9/07/04 JeffK Enjoyable, fun movie. 4 stars
8/31/04 Jack What a disjointed, nonsensical movie. Man did it suck. 1 stars
8/28/04 capitalbliss I loved Hellboy, didn't think I would but it's been my favourite movie this year so far. 5 stars
8/28/04 alien assassin This beats the pants off Van Helsing !!!! 4 stars
8/27/04 Tristynn I loved this movie. I laughed, I cried.. I felt every feeling possible... wonderful 5 stars
8/27/04 Al Guy Excellent costumes and make up. Very good movie. 4 stars
8/26/04 tatum Ending way too hurried 4 stars
8/17/04 Dean Enjoyable, less pc crap than most Hollywood super hero stuff 4 stars
8/15/04 Dallas Moye Decent 4 stars
8/07/04 elmanre i only have to say one thing,this movie has the coolest looking villain of all time,kroenen 5 stars
8/01/04 Phil M. Aficionado Ummmm .... "meh" (Thanks, Bryan McKay) 3 stars
7/28/04 American Slasher Goddess Very good comic book adapation, Perlman rules as Hellboy. 4 stars
7/25/04 Pure RAGE... Selma Blair is hot in this, great acting but needed a better script 5 stars
7/12/04 "Meth Lab" for Dummies Not bad, a few plot holes, Selma Blair (*HOT*) & NEEDS A SEQUEAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 4 stars
5/31/04 James Kustes This is a pretty good comic book movie 4 stars
5/19/04 Jeff S cheesy acting with just so so acting. 2 stars
5/13/04 mark Louis Baumgart I laughed, I cried, I wet my pants, what a ride. A just plain fun movie. 5 stars
5/08/04 Anus 1 1/2 hours of this moron fighting Sammel. WTF. 1 stars
5/06/04 Ross Me and the kids enjoyed this movie. 4 stars
4/30/04 Andrew Rosenberg somewhat confusing but Perleman is great! 4 stars
4/29/04 travis weatherhead that movie was so awesome i cant stop watching it the only thing it needs is more monsters. 5 stars
4/25/04 HorrorScribbler Very comic-booky adaptation (good for me, bad for wife.) 4 stars
4/23/04 CATHY WEL ITS SO!!!NICE MOVIE!!!IT QUITE SCARY!!!! 5 stars
4/19/04 YeahBoi Perlman heart of story 4 stars
4/18/04 Alex It has action, romance and comedy. This is a fun movie for everyone. 4 stars
4/17/04 vagile yawnfest 1 stars
4/17/04 kingchris5000 the plot was garbage except for the mean big red machine(ron Perlman of corse 3 stars
4/16/04 Steve Stupid eye candy with no redeeming qualities. Gives the comic-based movie genre a bad name 1 stars
4/15/04 Jeff MacIver Bloody good fun. The characters were pitch perfect . 5 stars
4/13/04 Jose Luis Cantu Guillermo doesn't disappoint with this film. Hellboy rocks! 4 stars
4/13/04 malcolm ron perlman was cool, as usual. i'd like to see him in more roles, w/o prosthetics. 3 stars
4/12/04 Darren Shea Possibly the most faithful comic-book-to-screen adaptation, ever. Fun from start fo finish. 5 stars
4/12/04 jarsch This movie rocked! Lovecraftian horror and cheesy, one-liner sci-fi rule. 5 stars
4/11/04 Kzoo_gal Perlman was perfect! 5 stars
4/11/04 Wildcarde1 Alot of fun not as much action as i expected but great humor and fun 4 stars
4/11/04 Anus 2 hours of Helloby fighting Sammel? What kind of shit is this? 3 stars
4/11/04 DM Not great, but a faithful and funny adaptation of a great comic book 4 stars
4/10/04 jcjs fun, awesome, loved it, lighten up, better than x-men, as good as 'Men in Black' 5 stars
4/09/04 Gobsmack I was expecting worse, I guess.... 4 stars
4/07/04 AntBee It Blows 1 stars
4/07/04 George Jung A pointless crock of shit. 2 stars
4/06/04 Christina utter shit 1 stars
4/06/04 Jean F. Pouliot Thought it was good 4 stars
4/06/04 NoRefill Don't go in with high expectations and you will enjoy the movie. 3 stars
4/06/04 Cameron Slick Fun, engaging lasting ride with some interesting characters in a nice-looking adaptation. 4 stars
4/06/04 Duckman Perlman delivers the goods. 4 stars
4/05/04 blaise A good comic ruined by continuity and poor writing 2 stars
4/05/04 Billmz A poor derivative of Ghostbusters, X-Men and Men in Black. 2 stars
4/05/04 Michaelb14 "it's my job" perlman is great is as the reluctant smartass hero 5 stars
4/04/04 Lord Jiggy enjoyable, but too much time thumping the same "monster," 4 stars
4/04/04 Titus Fun, but not great. I wouldn't pay full price for it. 3 stars
4/04/04 Mina This movie does not take itself serious, neither should you. 3 stars
4/03/04 Morally Sound Great fun at the movies. Hellboy is an adventure like no other. 4 stars
4/03/04 Vicious Excellent comic adaptation, as loyal to the comic as it should be, and great film. 5 stars
4/03/04 Wolf Very fun movie. I even cried a little at the end. 5 stars
4/03/04 Zefram Mann Wow, great stuff. Perlman manages to really act under all that makeup. 4 stars
4/02/04 Jon Great popcorn flick! 4 stars
4/02/04 Lord Chu Awesome, exciting fun. Don't mess w/ HB! 5 stars
4/02/04 AfroFett Fun, fun movie! Summer starts early this year! 4 stars
4/02/04 da hood horseshit! 1 stars
4/02/04 Brian i was honestly surprised 5 stars
3/30/04 Ganny The movie lives up to the wonderful comic 5 stars
3/29/04 Dr. Collosus Uber-cool 5 stars
3/27/04 Ray Good as hell !!! 4 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  02-Apr-2004 (PG-13)
  DVD: 19-Oct-2004

UK
  02-Sep-2004 (12A)

Australia
  19-Aug-2004 (M)




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